Acceptance through merit, not association

Posted: May 20, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

If this post doesn’t cause any kind of reaction out of you by the time you finish reading it, then its time for the family to pull your plug.

There’s a lot of garbage out there in this world, and a huge majority of it resides on the Internet. True, we all come from different cultures, faiths, beliefs, and morals- but the fact remains that there are some really creepy bastards out there!

I’m talking about Facebook, of course. The continually evolving social networking website. We all have it, we all take part in it, and we all use it for one reason or another.

Personally though, I have been receiving a lot of “Friend Requests” lately. Quite honestly, all of them have been denied. I find it rather strange and still at the same time amusing that even though I have “35 friends mutually in common” and “12 interests in common” with the person who has sent the request, that I don’t know the person at all!

Who are you people? And what is it that you want? I have noticed that when I have sent my own various friend requests, that there is a space to write a note. I commonly do so now, so that the person to which I am sending the request understands who I am and why I am asking for the request. Not just letting it go on its own that I have half the neighborhood in common with them.

I’m not saying that I am totally innocent of this, but what I am saying is that I no longer leave an empty request. That person is going to know why I am sending a request, and can also factor in the mutuality in their decision as to whether or not they accept it.

There are a lot of low-life punks out there. You take a risk in adding someone that you do not know from Adam.

Generally, our Friends List is generated by several key groups of people:

Family & Relatives

Close Friends

Neighbors

Co-workers

and other Colleagues

Outside of that, the rest of the List is made up of people whom we have similar interests with.

There’s nothing wrong with making new friends. Not in my book! I enjoy getting to know other people and learning about what their lives are like. Especially if there is something that connects us in mutuality. Some people though, are just not that social. And they choose not to have fourty-thousand people on their Friends List, just because someone sent them a request. Some do it, because by them socializing with others that they are able to maintain a business relationship and possibly profit from it. I understand that as well.

But when I receive a friend request from some person, who mutually likes “brown hair and blue eyes”, and has 24 people mutually in common and those 24 people have brown hair and blue eyes and nothing else to offer? There’s a big freakin’ problem!!

These are the people that society needs to take notes about. Basically, all they want to do is have you add them to your Friends List, and then they are able to go rummaging through your photos and then sift through your own list of Friends and try to add them, so that they have MORE photos to go through and save to their own hard drives of people with “brown hair and blue eyes”. Quite selfish! And I will add- dangerous.

I’m not going to add this person because I associate with 24 mutual people.

I have said to people time and time again, that these are the kinds of people that make it so difficult for me to obtain and establish any kind of social interaction or relationship with others. These “trolls” are offending people to the extreme and they usually get away with it. So then those who have been burned have their guard up and so when I come along, I’m met with resistance and I have to deal with someone not being so open to the thought of establishing and maintaning a relationship with them.

Sadly, it is usually the males who are acting with rot against females. And so when I am trying to either maintain or establish, I fail because some jerk abused them in some way.

I believe that in time, those who are at least going to entertain the thought, will eventually see that I am showing my worth having around as a friend or colleague and therefore the merit will be the saving factor. If not, I’m deleted/blocked and I never hear from them again. And honestly? Its their loss, not mine.

I have been deleted/blocked before. Many times! It sucks too. But there’s nothing much I can do about it. They’ve obviously were not seeing anything worth redeeming. Again, their loss!

I’m not trying to be the super hero here. I couldn’t be one, even if I tried or wanted to. Its not up to me to try and save someone from whom I think has nothing but personal and selfish plans. Its up to them to make their own choice, whether or not I warn them. And if I do, its up to them whether or not they actually heed to my words.

The male/female relationship is difficult enough as it is. Especially those male/female relationships that are just there platonically. It just doesn’t help to have people making things far worse than they already are.

So its something to really consider, I think. Last summer, I actually removed and deleted nearly two hundred people from my own Friends List. A majority of them were there through association. They were removed because either they did not associate with me, or they were not able to communicate in a common language and just sat there, looking pretty. I realized “I don’t need this!”. So if they had not had any kind of true personal bond, or had communicated with me in the past three months at that point, they were gone.

Everybody is on Facebook for their own reason. They just make their own choices in how much they decide to use what is available to them. I just hope that they use a greater judgement when they decide to seek out people to add to their Friends List. And use a greater restraint for those times when others are out seeking them.

Be safe, people.

Comments
  1. I have two FB profiles – a very, very private one which I only add people I know on a personal level (usually in real-life, not just the internet), and my public profile whom I’ll add anyone to because it’s for my writing world and it’s a great way to network with other writers (many of whom I’ve never met). That’s how I go about it. I don’t blame you at all for not accepting everyone. 🙂

  2. Dambreaker says:

    I think you were probably on the verge of denying the request, based on the fact that you did not know who I was. Maybe kind of on the fence about it? But you knew where I stood, and what the intention was behind the request. And it worked out wonderfully.

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