Jewelry Confliction

So here’s a story that I never thought that I would ever tell, much less experience.

It is no surprise that everyone gets to the point at the end of the month (or two week pay period) where they just find themselves low on cash. I most certainly have. Getting to the first of July has been something of a head scratcher in my book.

So I went to the nearest pawn shop in my neighborhood this afternoon and took a men’s gold ring with a garnet stone to fetch a few dollars. Knowing full well that I would be back for it in a few days after I had reached the month of July.

The thing of it is that I had never had any luck with this particular piece of jewelry as far as pawn shops were concerned. I’ve been all about town in the past few years and nobody would take it. Some of them wouldn’t even look at it. Many times I’ve been told that it was a fake and the stone was fake too. But had the looked at it, actually taken the time to do so, they would have seen the stamp on the inside of the ring that marks that it is 14K gold.

But today was a different story. I was met up by one of the many pawn brokers and I just walked in and created a swath behind me as I looked at their jewelry display cases to see just what they were SELLING as far as jewelry was concerned. Mainly men’s rings.

Once the broker was able to catch up to me, I handed over the ring and my ID and asked what I could get for it. They always ask you the same question, “How much do you want for it?”. I learned the hard way that you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER answer that question directly.

If you are looking to pawn or sell something at a pawn shop and you want $50 for it, you never tell them that! You will get what you asked for, even if it means that the pawn broker was willing to give you more. But now, you’ll never know because it was you who set the price.

So I didn’t answer this time. I handed it over and let them do their thing. I was in fact a bit nervous that they were going to come right back and give me the same old story about how it was fake or whatever. But they didn’t come back right away. This broker was seriously looking into it.

When the broker came back, I heard “Two twenty-five.”

I did everything I could to keep my wits on the price that I was quoted. And because of the fact that this ring in particular has had a history of nobody wanting to touch it, I had assumed that the broker was telling me $2.25!! I seriously wanted to vomit. But then this was the first time that I had ever had a pawn broker consider a loan on it.

I snarled a bit. But then the broker said, “No sir. Two hundred and twenty-five dollars is all that I can give to you on a loan.”

I could not believe my own ears. NOT $2.25, but $225!! (Clearly, decimal placement is really important.)

I know that a lot of people would have taken it right away. Especially during these times. But the loan was up to that much. I do not know how much that they would have offered to me, had I told them that I wanted to sell it.

So then I did not take the full amount of the loan. I only took $60. It was what I felt I could easily handle while paying back the loan and getting it back before the due date and then losing it forever. All the while them making a nasty profit from it.

I kept getting asked time after time if I was sure that I did not want more. I could have taken the entire amount. And they did say that if I wanted more, that all I needed to do was pay the interest on the loan and they would re-finance it so that I could take more.

But now I have enough money to make it until July. So I’m good. And the loan is not out of my reach to pay back.

But when I got home, I started to think about it. I do not have a lot in the way of jewelry. I have a watch, I wear my U.S. Army dog tags around my neck. And I have two gold rings with garnets in them. Well, one for now.

I used to have three, but the third one was stolen. The second ring that I have, I am thinking that I could probably get a little bit more than $225 for it at that pawn shop.

It is very conflicting as I have both good and bad experiences with this ring. Well, mainly just bad memories. I’ve had wonderful experiences with the ring because a lot of people have given me compliments on it over and over again when I wear it. So I’ve been wearing it all of the time now, even though it is plagued with bad memories.

I bought the ring when I was still with my ex-girlfriend. It was really expensive and it looks great. Similar to the one in the photo included in this blog post. But at the time, I was saving some money to buy tickets to go see a concert back in 2008 in Boston. I was more than willing to pay the $375 for a pair of tickets to be on the floor right up next to the stage! But she was not a fan. A complete & total “hater” of that kind of music … if you will.

So when I had found this ring, she pushed and she pushed and she pushed for me to buy it. She knew that I did not have a lot of jewelry to call my own. She also knew that it would be something that I would wear a lot. And… she knew that if I bought it, that I would not be able to purchase the concert tickets that I had been wanting to buy. 

So I bought it. It looked great. Still does. But because of her hatred towards something that she knew that I would enjoy, her influence was heavily put upon me to buy it every time we went into that store.

Needless to say that later on I would purchase tickets for that concert out of some money that was owed to me from a settlement. But we were so far back, that the view wasn’t all that grand. I actually saved myself about $100 on the total, however everytime I think about it, it just bugs me. That’s all. Just bugs me.

So now that I have gone on and on about this and probably lost half of the readers by now, I am conflicted with whether or not to go ahead and try to sell this ring for a much higher price or keep it because my jewerly collection is small and I don’t have much.

Clearly with the money, I could put it aside and be able to have a nice start at some kind of savings so that I can do some traveling to see some people that I have been wanting to meet for a very long time. Or maybe get something that I would enjoy for me in my home. The possibilities would be endless.

For sure, I would be able to get back the ring that I’ve had for nearly ten years that I bought for myself and be free of one less thing that would remind me of a situation that was less than happy.

What would you do?!?

Truth

“If the truth hurts, imagine how a lie would feel…”~ Amy Diggs

I had a female colleague come up to me recently and she asked me a question that was both surprising and difficult. She had asked me if I could see myself in a relationship with her.

I totally did not expect this kind of question to come up in conversation, even though I had previously seen warning signs and her line of questions that led up to it were very much so in the category of hinting at it. Yet, it still surprised me.

My first reaction was to try and avoid the subject, mainly because I was so much in shock at the time that I had heard it. But as relentless as she was, I knew that eventually I would have to face up to her question and give her an answer.

I told her “No.” She did inquire as to why I had said that, and I began to give my reasons that her request was a bit incomplete. Yet she was apparently unable to listen to my reasons for very long, so my bottom line for answering as I did was because I did not know her well enough to just start a relationship out of nowhere. Naturally, it appeared that I had destroyed her heart. At first, she held back but she could not keep her tears in for very long.

Those who truly know me understand that I cannot stand seeing a woman in tears, or ANYONE for that matter! Knowing that I had ruined her idea, and perhaps her hopes and dreams didn’t go down easily. Not for her, and not for me.

But I told her the truth. There was no sense in lying to her just to make sure that she was smiling and happy. And since I had started out with a “no”, it would not make sense to quickly go back and change answers, just so that she would not cry.

And before you go running to write an e-mail to me, making cracks about me being a “heartbreaker” or worse, start with the hate mail… let me just say that I’ve been there where she was. I have most definitely felt the harsh sting of rejection and have been spurned before. And more than just a couple of times. Yet, I would never expect those who had rejected me to LIE to me, just so that I would be happy.

It was my decision to tell this woman the truth. And tell it from the very beginning. But to my credit, I did tell her that I enjoyed her company and she has been a very funny and awesome colleague. That’s cliché, I know.

There was no way that I would have even answered with “I don’t know”, or “maybe” because in those cases it could have allowed her to fill her own head with fantasies about the possibility, when I knew for a fact there was no possibility.

I do not know who Amy Diggs is. I do not know where she came up with such an intense and powerful quote. But I agree with it wholly 100%. It would have hurt this woman far worse if I would have lied to her.

I’ve never been a fan of the “Check YES or NO” scenario when it comes to relating to the opposite sex. I haven’t been in grade school in quite a long time. But I know that for her as an adult, one of the two things will happen:

• Her feelings will be hurt for a short time. She will harbor some resentment for the rejection she received and began to have feelings of hatred. And in the end, I’ll never hear from her ever again.
• After a short time of hurt feelings, she will heal from the inside and at some point be able to move on from this rejection. And we’ll be as we were yesterday.

Telling the truth often is like that ouchie you get from falling off your bike. It stings like crazy at first, then it hurts. But after a while it begins to heal and soon the scar goes away. Does anyone honestly disagree with that??

Yes, I honestly agree that “the truth will set you free”. And I also agree that “the truth often hurts”. As for my personal feelings, I would much rather hurt from the beginning rather than be led on to something that isn’t true. I don’t believe that people like being lied to by any means, but I would not want to be lied to just because it is an effort to save my feelings at the time, because lies always come out in the end. And by then, the situation is far worse to deal with mentally for me after being lied to.

Always tell the truth, right from the start. Even if you know it is going to hurt. If you care about them and they actually care about you, then they’ll see the significance of your truth. And then they will appreciate you all that much more for being honest with them to begin with.

If I had started to hate those women who had spurned me, I sure would be far worse off and a lot more lonely of a person. It hurt, I cried. But I healed, and I moved on, and I’m still alive today.

Yet for this particular woman’s situation, it is still “fresh” in a sense. It just happened. I feel awful to a point about it right now. But I also feel that I had done the right thing.

 

 

 

There’s Nothing On

“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”~ Ann Landers

 

I probably have my television set turned off more than I have it on. It used to be white noise but then again, that got dull and boring. There’s nothing ever on any more.

 

I do have my favorite shows that I like to watch each week, but now with it being summer and all they are doing is showing repeats, the television stays off most of the time, unless I am using my DVD player as a stereo to listen to my music or watching movies from my very meager DVD collection.

 

All of that aside, there’s still nothing on television that captures my full attention day after day, night after night.

 

Television has really hit bottom. Especially now since anything that is new, is all “reality shows”. It is terrible.

 

We watch these ordinary people who dare to sign a contact saying that they give up their privacy rights to be filmed and then broadcast to millions of people around the world. And we do it, because it makes us feel better about our own lives when we see these people acting like complete and total morons before our very eyes. There’s never any plot, there’s no story, there’s no direction. Just mindless, feculent filth that goes on and on.

 

Gone are the days of sitcoms it seems. Some networks will attempt to make new shows but in the end they get cancelled. It seems as if we are more interested in the fact that strange people who we don’t know, are becoming more and more of a fixture in our homes. All because of two things that are still hand in hand. Which actually is an extension of my previous blog post.

 

#1- Television networks do NOT want to pay the absorbment & greedy amount of money to actors in order to make a decent television program.

 

#2- Actors/actresses do NOT want to do any work for less than millions and millions and millions of dollars for EACH episode.

 

So then televison networks tried their hand on these so-called “reality shows” where they specifically state in their contracts… “We ain’t paying you a single dime!”. And people are dumb enough to sign them, just because they wanna be on television.

 

When I was growing up, my parents loathed the television set. As maturing children, we were only allowed to watch a certain amount of ‘the idiot box’ on any given night. Those were the rules of the house. Naturally, that was something that I thought was bogus. So when I was out on my own for the first time, I watched as much of it as I could. Totally wasting life away, because the amount of television that I was consuming was far too much.

 

As an adult now, I can pick and choose whatever I want to watch, whenever I want to watch it. I just choose NOT to because there’s nothing there that interests me. So to my own father I say, “Yeah. You were right.”

 

I really could care less about some woman from New Jersey who has more tits than brains. And I could not care any more about any socialite who wants to sit at home and whine that life isn’t fair, all the while having sex with someone and recording it and selling it.

 

I think that television networks AND the list of actors/actresses need to pull their greedy heads out from their secure-locked butts and come up for air. Find that middle ground and make good quality entertainment. Then television wouldn’t have this stigmata over it. It is in fact, plenty ridiculous.

 

I find it totally laughable at what is considered to be popular any more. Some of these people come out of nowhere and they show themselves on televison and then become so extremely popular that they don’t know what to do with themselves. But then, the next “reality show” gets created and they’ve been bumped out of the spotlight because the next person has acted even more ridiculous and stupid on the air than they had.

 

I speak for myself when I say that every time I go NEAR my television set, I cringe. Because as soon as I turn it on, I know that within minutes I will turn it back off again. The only reason why I have one in the first place (other than the reasons listed above) is because I bought it for $100 to help a woman who we all had thought was trying to get back on her feet and live a life of the straightened path because she had previously had been a stripper. It was a television combo with DVD & VCR. And of course, there was no remote control with it and the DVD & VCR parts to it, don’t even work.

 

And now I find that she fell back into her ways, got married, had a baby, and then divorced. Now she’s back to where she started. And that is probably the REAL reason why I hate my own television set.

 

Honestly though, there’s nothing on!

 

Time to start looking for some hobbies.

Hollywood Still Sucks!

“Hollywood is a place where they’ll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.”~
Marilyn Monroe

Well ‘happy birthday, meester pwesident’ to you too!!

I was going to write this post a few days ago when the anger was still fresh on my mind. But luckily for myself, the subject matter died out just as quickly as it came up and was rubbed thoroughly in my face like a person trying to potty train a new puppy.

A few days ago, the news was reporting that Courtney Stodden & Doug Hutchison had tied the knot. At first, it didn’t strike me for anything because I did not know who they were. I mean after all, where the heck was my wedding invitation? Did it get lost in the mail? No of course not! So why should I waste an ounce of energy on the news that these two people were joined in marriage? And then the reports were all buzzing about the enormous age difference between husband and wife. I didn’t know what to think about it at first. And then after a few thousands times of hearing about it, it began to become very annoying.

So I had to stop and think about it. Who the heck were these people and why is it being pushed in my face that the two of them got married, OUTSIDE of the fact that the groom is dangerously close to the age of being his wife’s grandfather.

Doug Hutchison has been on shows like “LOST”. Something I didn’t watch at all. But he’s also been in “The Green Mile”. That was something that I did see. So I had a sort of reference to who he was. Still haven’t heard of Courtney Stodden though. I’ve seen pictures of her in a bikini, sitting on a boat and that’s all I know of her.

Why is this news? Seriously, I don’t think anyone can come up with a decent response to that question. And who is it that gets to decide who is a celebrity and who is just an actor?

All I can think about is the backlash that this newlywed couple is going to have to answer for. We simply do not know the reasons as to why they decided to get married. Although we can speculate it and assume until the End of Days. Personally though, I could care less! Most Hollywood marriages end up in divorce in the first place, and in pretty short order I might add. So it will be a few years at the most and they’ll be split and nothing will have changed for the world.

I cannot stand Hollywood and their definitions of stardom and celebrity status. Who the heck comes up with this garbage?? Hardly anyone that “makes it” in Hollywood has any staying power any more.

So here’s a good question for debate: Why are certain people famous? People like Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton, and Antoine Dodson? And what have they done in their personal careers to be able to stabilize their star status? 

I haven’t heard anything come out of Antoine Dodson in the past six months or more. He became famous because he was very emotional in front of a news crew camera in Huntsville, Alabama after his sister was a victim of a sexual assault. He gave it to the camera and he did it with passion. And then a family who lives on the east coast with a bit of musical talent and know-how with Auto Tune, took his news segment and made it into a hit song on i-Tunes.

And I will admit that the entire piece of music that was crafted is entirely catchy and almost enjoyable. But that’s what they did to his news interview.

BAM!! INSTANT CELEBRITY!!! But where is he now?

Hollywood has this rotten way of things to take people and turn them into whatever they want. Good people, bad people, heroes and villains. Hollywood, and the media that is. Sadly going hand in hand on this one.

So then why aren’t I popular? Why am I not making millions of dollars?? I’ve done great things in my life. I’ve been good, I’ve been bad too. Very, VERY bad!! Nobody is calling me for my life story. Nobody is asking me to show up at red carpet events. Why not me? Why not some of my friends? Why, why, why???

It is just the fact that Hollywood’s way of life sucks. It always has, and always will.

I remember when I was seven years old, I told my mother “When I grow up, I want to become famous and live in Hollywood and even change my name.” Now when I think about it… I do not think that I still have the same enthusiasm to “make it in Hollywood” as I did back then. My eternal soul is NOT for sale.

Why Have A Blog?

“I want to start a blog, but what should I write about?”. I receive this question more than you know.

A lot of people have been asking me personally about whether or not they should have a blog. It seems as if they have already made up their minds about it, but they just do not know what exactly to write about.

I think that it is a fair question to ask. A lot of people now are writing in online blogs. And a lot of people do it for a lot of different reasons.

Some use their blog as an attachment to their careers. Writers and authors who want to keep their minds fresh for their personal projects and aren’t working on them, want to be able to keep their creative writing minds flowing.

Other people use blogs for the purpose of free advertisement. Whatever it is that they are trying to spread the word on, they use a blog now because most blogging websites are free to join.

I’ve even seen blogs created for the purpose of being able to keep in contact with masses of people. Their posts update from time to time on what is going on with their lives and instead of writing individual e-mails over and over again, or using mass messages which may have limitations, they choose to use the blog to get their information out there.

And still there are those who just use it as a hobby. They post creative ideas and writings and want to be able to put their personal work some place where they won’t lose it, as well as be able to share it with others.

There are countless reasons as to why a person uses a blog. This blog has used all of the above. I do not get paid for blogging, and I doubt that I ever will. And that’s just fine. Writing is good therapy in the first place, for some.

But you want a blog that will be something that everyone can read, right?? Of course you do! You want it to be something that people will actually come back to read it because they want to read it. Especially after the first initial impact that was made from their first time visiting.

The most important part of any blog is what you have to say and how you say it. People will return to your blog if they like what you write about a specific subject and they like your writing style.

With that in mind, your blog should be written in a tone appropriate to your blog topic. Keep it personable so as to invite interaction through blog comments and links back to your blog.

So the important question you should ask yourself is “What is it that I want to say?”.

Are you going to list your family’s favorite recipes and concentrate on that subject, or are you wanting to do a “How To” blog and share with the rest of the world your knowledge on how to do stuff?

Once you figure that out, the rest is pure gravy. You can find just the right blogging website to suit your needs. Then you just write, write, write!

The people will come, slowly but surely.

Good Luck.

 

The $102 Pack of Cigarettes

Last year, the only son of an elderly neighbor of mine was pounding on my front door relentlessly late at night at the most ridiculous of hours.

I knew who it was, and I knew what he had wanted. This 16 year old son was wanting me to go to the corner store and buy him a pack of cigarettes.

After realizing that he just wasn’t going to go away, he said that he had the money in his pocket and I told him to prove it to me.

He dug deep into his pockets and pulled out two fists full of loose change. Including a collection of at least eight Walking Liberty Half Dollars and other assorted quarters and nickels.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was he absolutely serious about handing over these old coins? All of them were minted in around the years of the World War II era. The majority of them were from 1944. He had one that was from 1941, and another from 1946.

It was ridiculous. I asked him if he knew what he was doing and if he knew how much these old coins were worth. He said he didn’t know and didn’t care. He had recently gone to the corner store himself to buy something else, but the store clerk refused to accept them. So he was trying to get rid of them.

So, I was no idiot. This was the one time that I went ahead and did this for him. Besides, the rest of the change I needed so that I could do some laundry to have clean clothes. I took all of his change and kept it to myself and paid for it out of my own pocket. The transaction was complete and we never spoke of it again. I hid those half dollars like it was the Holy Grail itself.

Time went on, his father (my neighbor) passed away. And he moved away to live with some guardians. Up until two days ago where he came knocking on my door, his skateboard in hand. He came in and sat down and talked his face off, complaining about his social life and how terrible things had become since he lost his father. It truly is a sad situation for him.

And then he brings up the conversation about his massive half dollar collection. Apparently, he went to some coin and silver shop and traded in what he had left over. He told me the story about how he had received about $150 for his coins. And he was really getting excited as he continued to tell his tale.

Then… it hit. The real, deep-down reason as to why he was here visiting with me. Because of the fact that he got so much money for those silver coins AND that he had blown all that money in one day… he wanted those coins back.

Umm, NO. It was part of a transaction.

So I told him, “Do you have a pack of cigarettes because that’s what YOU bought with those coins?”. Obviously, he wasn’t going to have any!! So I turned him away empty handed.

I knew the value of those coins were far more than just fifty cents. And he received his smokes. So those coins now belonged to me. But he kept insisting until I just told him that I didn’t have them any more.

Out the front door, he stormed off. He said that he would be back later to see if I had put my hands on those coins again since “I stored them at the house of my parents who live two states away.”

This afternoon, I too went to the same coin and silver store as he and traded in all the coins that I found in my safe place. With the loose quarters and nickels that I had and then used for laundry, added to what I received from the silver store for selling the coins, that pack of Marlboro Lights 100’s was worth a grand total of  $102.68!!!

Now clearly he did not understand the value. And he should have thought things through. But at his young age, all he was doing was focusing on what he wanted at that exact time and moment. So let it be a lesson to him. Although he’ll probably never learn because he’ll never know. I sure hope he smoked those things SLOWLY.. but I doubt that he did.

Also let it be a lesson to those who read this. There are reasons why people collect old coins. This would be one of the reasons.

And now I will be able to do laundry for at least the next six months.

 

Sinking the Titanic Again

“God, Himself could not sink this ship!”~ Capt. E.J. Smith.

Oh yeah? Well, neither can Hollywood apparently!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must share this web article with you. It just totally blows my mind.

http://www.nypost.com/p/blogs/movies/titanic_gets_release_date_AL3yaJAfiaU8zzC8IcofYM

That’s right! The movie by James Cameron, “Titanic” (original release date: 1997) is going to be re-released… in 3-D!!!!! The release date will be in April 2012. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I read from a Belgian website that it was possible. But now the New York Post reported about a month ago, that it is fact and not rumor. Its release date comes just days before the actual 100th anniversary of the vessel’s demise.

I’d hate to say it, but “I told you so!”. Some way, some how I just knew that this was going to happen around the centennial anniversary. The thing that shocks me is the fact that it is going to be in 3-D.

The movie by itself is a monstrosity. It made over $1.2 BILLION worldwide. And who knows how much in video & DVD sales, and other merchandise that went along with it when this was all that people were talking about.

It literally turned into a massive cash cow for James Cameron, that we can no longer call him “James Cameron”, but now we must call him “Pimp Daddy J”.

Needless to say that it greatly soared the musical career of Canadian singer, Céline Dion, into diva status. It was a very smart decision on her part to jump in on this project to sing, “My Heart Will Go On”.

And so I have strong and mixed feelings about it all. The film kind of took a toll on me personally when it was in the theaters. It stayed so long that there is not another film that I can think of that has stayed in theaters for showing any longer than this one.

It is a good movie.  But during the long period of time that it was in the theaters, I got so burned out on it. The multi-award winning film is 194 minutes long. And I understand that they wanted the part of the movie where the ship sinks to be almost in time with what happened in real historic time.

I have to admit that I have seen all Hollywood films, with the exception of one, that was centered around the story of the ill-fated ship that ever was released. As time went by, they would prove to be inaccurate. But at that particular point in time, they were believed to be true. Until science proved them all wrong.

And I must note to history buffs: Captain E.J. Smith’s quote about “God not sinking this ship”? It had NOTHING to do with the Titanic! He was talking about another ship, called the Adriatic, which made its maiden voyage in 1907. Five years before Titanic.

But in this version we must also realize, it is a work of fiction as we journey through the short lived tryst of Jack & Rose while on the ship until the bitter end. So it is not going to be 100% accurate either.  

I think that everyone in the world by now has seen this movie. If you haven’t, you either have been living under a rock, reside in a place where the movie is banned, or born a short time after its original release.

I personally cannot say at this time whether or not I plan on watching this movie in 3-D. I’ve seen it so many times when it was in theaters the first time. In all, I have seen it 44 times. The first time by myself, the second time with my best friends about a week later, and then fourty-two times of repeating showings by either dates with women or friends who just thought the movie was so awesome, that it was worth seeing again.

That means I have spent over 142 hours (nearly six full days) of my life sitting in a theater watching the same damned movie over and over and over again. Up until a few years ago I even had each and every ticket stub to prove it. Although I am sure that ziploc bag has been discarded by now.

So yeah, of course I am going to be burned out by this film. I really don’t have anything against it other than my unfortunate will to go through it time and time and time again. To which I should have had some serious misgivings. All I knew back then was that women LOVED the movie. And so I went along with it.

But in talking with people today, they absolutely hate the film that Cameron put out. Mainly because of more “historical inaccuracies”. One person’s opinion was that there was not enough of the story told of Molly Brown. And that they got her character all wrong. To each their own, I suppose.

I’m not really sure if watching this film in 3-D is going to change things much. It is possible, but I do not see how. The ship will sail, and the ship will sink. And more than two and a half hours in between that, there will be a love story.

I am curious to say in the least how much it will make worldwide when it is re-released in 2012. I am doubting the $1.2 billion mark… so how wrong can I possibly be proven?

The production of 3-D films are rare now. Does anyone remember the onslaught of horror films that came out in 3-D?? Quite often, they were the product of a third sequel to that particular movie, and so the third part just had to be in 3-D. I can think of a few. But they stopped making them because it was so expensive.

“Titanic” has already been made. But I guess through 21st Century technology, they are re-creating this monster to adapt to the 3-D process. I don’t know how it is being done, but it is.

I think that this film though really takes the cake on any and all film productiong dealing with this historical event. I believe that this version will always be the comparative, should anyone else try to make another. Whether it be a documentary, or a theatrical release like this one. I highly doubt that this film will ever be knocked out of its throne, so to speak.

But I wonder if this idea of coming out with a 3-D version of this timeless hit is going to be a good idea. I am not saying that I WANT it to fail… I just don’t know how well it is going to do. Time will tell.

Should it be just as successful as it was in 1997, I think that the music industry should also try to find a way to make “My Heart Will Go On” another smash sensation. After all, you can’t have one without the other. Neither can you think of one without thinking about the other. So let’s see record producers mash it up and release some funky, groovy mix to Céline Dion’s #1 hit. Because it is just about as big of a monstrosity as the film.

Sucking In Your Muse

“If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music.” ~ Gustav Mahler

Anyone remember the days of stealing the telephone and escaping into your room, only to call the local radio station to have them play your request and/or dedication? I do… I totally was one of those kinds of people. Whatever was on my mind, I went to find that perfect song that was describing my personal feelings at the time. It drove my parents crazy. For one hour every Monday through Friday night, they could not find the telephone because I had it in my grasp. I try over and over and over again to get beyond the dreaded busy signal just to get in touch with the radio station and have them play that one song. Ah, fun times!!!

Now I am sure that some radio stations are around that still do so, but I haven’t actively listened to any particular radio station in quite some time. So I haven’t really given it much thought.

Until I come along certain message boards and forum that are just for general purposes. There’s a lot of people out there that just make their own musical dedications for their own reasons.

I must say that I find it amusing. Someone will have their “dedications” posted for the world to see. They feel on top of the world that they’ve found the love of their life. So they post ANYTHING that has the word “love” in the song title. And it’s not just one or two or even three times, try a few dozen times… and in a row.

And then after a while, it dies down. They still find that perfect playlist and drive each and every song into the ground as they play it over and over and over again. Then, Heaven forbid- the love of their life breaks up with them. The feelings of that high are gone, and now they are posting every song in the world that deals with heartache and pain.

To the outside person, that whole thing can be annoying. So true. However, music has a way with ALL of us. Not just those who “fall in and out of love” and those who want to share with the entire world. Music is that one thing that exists that we all enjoy. I am no exception. I listen to music every day & night. No doubt about it.

Music also alters our mood. Whether it enhances it, or changes it. I mean, who hasn’t heard a song that caused them to break down into tears? Or who hasn’t had that feeling of having a good day and then hearing a song that just takes your soul flying until you feel like you are on top of the world?

I’ve heard certain songs and it made me think of someone. Or it had triggered a memory of something. I think that is why we always enjoy making those radio dedications. We hear that perfect song that makes us think of a certain someone and we enjoy the thought we have. Yes, in fact it is a super-wonderful-fantastic feeling.

At times, music and songs allow us to express ourselves in ways that we cannot through our own words. So then we absolutely latch on to that perfect song and “dedicate it” and then stand by it until the very end. Even years later, no matter where we are in life when we hear that song, we stop and ponder the moment over again. Why? Because that song is OURS… and nobody else can have it!

To be honest I miss those days where we all passed around mix tapes. The collection of songs that we put together on one cassette that we deliberately chose to express ourselves towards another person. Now we can burn CD’s and what not- but does anyone actually have a “mix CD”? I don’t.

Anyways, I love music. I think we all do. It doesn’t matter what kind of music we choose to listen to. We all have our favorites. And we all have our personal reasons as to why they are our favorites.

So as I finish this post, I’ve turned up the stereo to listen to one song in particular that really strikes me in my heart. Such a great feeling I get when I listen to it.

Life without music is boring. I say, “TURN IT UP!”.

Critical Kick In The Nuts

I probably should not be paying this much attention to the situation, and rather thanking the person for not taking their criticisms on a public forum. But I think it can be an interesting subject on how we handle criticism.

I was recently told by someone that they hated.. rather they LOATHED a few things that I had selected for posting. They were just not that into it at all. They were however, rather gracious enough to explain what they did not like about to me, but privately.

Needless to say that I was shocked. I couldn’t believe what I was reading. It was like they were taking their words and just kicking me straight in the junk with it and had no worries about consequences.

I read over it several times, trying to see their side of things. Some of it made sense, I could see how they just wouldn’t care for it at all.

I think though it was not their criticism that got to me, it was HOW they were criticizing. Their words were just about as insulting as can be. I kept trying to tell myself that I needed to be grateful for their negative feedback and move on. After all, one is not going to be able to please the entire world. “To each, their own.” Clearly, that which I had posted was not their cup of tea.

Naturally they were quite vocal on their opinion on how I could have made each posting that much better. With each paragraph that I read of their so-called “corrections”, I started to hate the term “constructive criticisms”, believing that it is just a way to soften the blow to someone who disagrees with another person.

All in all, they felt that it was “okay” to go ahead and give names of people, places, and things. That I did not have to be so vague. They believed that if I am speaking of a certain individual, I should just the flood gates open and give all detail involved with what I am posting about, so that my point of it all becomes more clear.

That simply just isn’t me. It is not who I am. I write whatever comes to me in that particular moment in time and just go with it. I do not want others to feel that sense of being “threatened” because their name and situation has been posted on the Internet. After all, is it really the business of the world to know that I think that Sally is the worst driver in the world and I cannot stand having to ask her for transportation whenever I am needing to go somewhere? No!!!

Is it really the business of the world that I went to Tokyo two summers ago and got wild and crazy with a girl named “Asuki”? What, are you kidding me?!?

And honestly, is it really the business of the world that I am going to go to New England for a wedding to witness a friend get married to a girl named Michelle twenty-two years his junior? Absolutely not.

I do not post these things–not because I fear the backlash from these individuals, but rather I choose to hold their privacy in respect. Trust me, if I ever had feared personal backlash for mentioning someone or their situation, it has not and will not appear here, ever.

So then, how in the world do we deal with criticisms, in general??

I do not believe personally, that there is right and wrong way. I do believe that with every piece of criticism, whether positive or negative, there’s something to be learned about your audience, and about yourself.

This blog obviously has taken a wild turn since I started it several months ago. The subject matter of each and every post doesn’t fit any pattern at all. So I have to stop and think, “What is it that I want to do with this blog?”. I will give my hypothetical answer to this question in another post.

Yet with the changes that it has gone through, I would have to say that I am still fine with it all and very much pleased with how it has been coming along. I’ve had many people comment on several different posts in several different ways. A majority of them in a positive light. But others, not so positive.

For myself, which is the only person for whom I can speak… whenever there is negative criticism, I stand back and try to figure out just what it was, that the person didn’t like about whatever it was that I had done. If it comes to be that they have shown me a different light where something should be changed, that it would benefit me then its all for the good and good should be taken out of the negative. If it just comes to be that the person who sent the negative criticism was just being mean, I must be able to identify that and dust them off and move on. That particular audience is not the kind of people in which I need to target.

But I will say this: I have a great number of people who are very, very supportive of me and what I do. They might not agree 100% of the time with what I say or do, but they stick by me no matter what. The difference is, is that they just don’t come up to me and say, “Ohh man, that sucked!”, then walk away OR try to change who I am.

I do not receive a lot of “negative criticism” too much. So when it comes, I’m never really all that prepared for it. And that is kind of what happened.

Therefore, I’ve taken into consideration their words and will be dusting them off because all it was (in my opinion)… was them trying to change who I am and how I write. It is too bad that they didn’t like it. I guess all I can say is that I am sorry that they didn’t like it. But is it necessary? Probably not. With how they worded things, I seriously doubt that they will be back again.

For those of you who have made it this far… I thank you and appreciate you. Every comment left, whether private or public, means a great deal to me. Your feedback is always genuinely considered. I think that it helps mold this blog to be better, as well as knowing myself better.

To those who do not like this blog: I wish you the best of luck in finding something that suits your needs more somewhere in the future.

 

 

Don’t Tell Anyone! 2: The Betrayal

“One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though… betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope.”~ Steven Deitz

This comes as a part two of the post about keeping secrets. But it deals more with what happens after you have confided in someone with a secret and that someone has betrayed you by telling your secrets.

It has happened to us all. We tell people certain things about ourselves that we would normally keep to ourselves, but had faith in those people whom we love and call friends that in sharing with them that they would not betray us.

Sometimes its unintentional. Sometimes its flat out deliberate. Either way, the pain that we experience is all the same. We suddenly feel all alone in this world. Our trust is broken and we begin to build a wall around us so that we cannot be hurt by a second wave. Or so we tend to think. But whatever it is that we do, we’re almost always in the state of mind where damage control is needed.

There are several ways to deal with being betrayed. Some healthy, some more or less destructive and negative. Each person has their own ways of cope when negative situations arise.

I recently felt the sting of betrayal. At this point, the smoke hasn’t cleared yet and so I could not tell you if whether or not that betrayal was done on purpose or if it was just a slip of the lip.

Long story short: I discussed with a few people that I had put some trust in about my social life, both on and offline. All parties involved knew that it was not a topic of  conversation that could be discussed out in the general public or open. But it came out anyways, and it was done in public. Suddenly the rest of those who heard (or overheard) the conversation have it set in their minds that I am involved in a romantic relationship. In which, I am not.

So then, what should I do? What should I say?? Is there a need to go around and talk to everyone that was in the room at the time and explain to them that I am not involved with any woman at the current time? Do I need to go to those who betrayed me and just chew them out until they feel about an inch tall?

Answer: Probably not. I personally do not see the point in all of that, even though I am a bit hurt that it had happened in the first place. If it were in general terms, it would definitely be easier to go to those people who heard this information and explain to them. But those individuals whom I call neighbors are set in their ways. They will believe whatever they want to believe is the truth behind whether or not I am involved romantically.

People are like that though. They believe what they want. You can explain and defend your side of things until you are blue in the face. It doesn’t mean you are going to be 100% successful in convincing them of what is true and what is rumor. Most of us would agree that it is just not right. But we can’t change the world.

So the best way that I know how to maintain and control this situation is to NOT discuss previous topics of conversation, and of women, to those who started this mess in the first place. I can’t totally shut them out. They live nearby. I’m going to run into them a time or two. But I CAN control what kind of things I say to anyone. Just like I control the content of this blog.

I was just so horrified and shocked that those whom I had put some faith in, wanted to further discuss these topics with me and then chose to do so amongst other people. More specifically, in front of those people whom both sides had agreed that if others knew about it, then I’d be thrown into the rumor mill and it would spread like wildfire. And it has, to be completely honest.

So I’m not going to discuss these things any more, with any body. And if those whom were once trusted with such information dealing with certain subject matter come to me asking for an update… they simply will not get one. Or they will get a reply that will simply answer their question but give nothing of substance.

We as human beings have our circle of people in whom we entrust a lot of things. Deep personal things. It really hurts though when those things are suddenly made public. Our brains immediately turn to the feelings of anger, wanting to hurt those who have clearly hurt us. But I personally do not believe that revenge is the answer.

I’ve been entrusted with MANY things by MANY people. Yet I have shown my merit and worth by respecting their personal lives and keeping it personal and private. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you that.

So then how do we deal with the situation of our trust being broken? Everyone is different and has different needs and wants. One can just hope that they deal with it in a constructive manner and not destructive because it only makes things so much worse than it was before.

To those people who now believe on what they think is true about me… they are going to soon see that I am not hanging out with anyone special. I am not going to be seen with a woman on my arm. And eventually they will be forced to admit to themselves that whatever they have been thinking about me and this situation of being involved is simply untrue. It is just a simple matter of time.