When Will You Learn?

Posted: June 13, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

This post is kind of a last minute thought, but I think that I have some really good and valid points here.

I ran into one of my ex-girlfriends today. When I first saw her, I was not 100% sure of who she was. But she looked up and saw me and waved at me heavily. That was the dead giveaway.

I was not sure what I was going to do in that exact moment. I knew that if once there was any conversation and it started to drift towards the past, it was gonna get very ugly. I was not even sure if there was going to be any conversation at all. So, I faked like I did not know who she truly was, but I guess my poker face needs work.

Luckily for me, there was only bit a brief conversation. No talk about the past, no talk about “What are you up to now?”, nothing like that. Instead, I got “Hey! Good to see you. Glad to see you’re doing well. Here’s my card. Call me, we’ll catch up!”.

Umm, are you NUTS!?!?

Never in my life I thought I would be having that kind of an experience with an ex. They always show that kind of rubbish on television and in movies. Yet they also show that once the former lovers re-connect, something always sparks the flames again, and then they live happily ever after, THE END, roll the credits!

It is my belief that it just doesn’t happen like that in real life. There were specific reasons why the particular relationship ended between her & I, and reasons why I chose to end it. One of those reasons was not to bump into her years down the road in the future to get back with her.

There are hard lessons to be learned when ending a relationship. Whether you dump someone, or they dump you. What I am trying to say is that there are reasons why it ended when it did. And my own personal opinion is to dust yourself off, learn those lessons and move on. So it doesn’t make sense to me when couples break up and then later get back together again.

Comedian Larry Miller did a stand-up comedy routine about relationships and for couples who break up and then get back together. He says, “Getting back together with your ex is like wanting a bowl of cereal in the morning. You go to get some milk and then realize that it has passed the expiration date and you say to yourself, ‘This milk is sour! Well, maybe tomorrow it will be fresh!’.”

I couldn’t agree with him more.

Now I don’t know what my ex truly is seeking. All I know is that whatever business or personal card she gave me, was non-chalantly dropped into the street when her back was turned.

But the fun drama doesn’t stop there. NO sir!! After returning home and getting ready begin another day of working on some projects that I have lined up, I checked my e-mail. I had a message from my last ex-girlfriend who was asking specific questions:

How is life treating you? Where are you at now? Are you married?… and so forth. As many times as I have simply hit “BLOCK” on her e-mails, she’s always finding the time to create new free e-mail accounts in order to try and reach out.

I started to wonder what was in the air that was making these women do these stupid and annoying things. Neither one of them are ever going to hear from me. I thought that was clear that I’ve not said a single word to them once the relationship was terminated. So instead of bogging my mind with questions that I probably will never get the answers to, I decided to make supper and watch the Stanley Cup playoffs.

But still though, there are those people who dare to try a second go at it for whatever reason. To be fair, I will say that sometimes it does pan out and it does work. But most of the time? Not so much.

And then there are those who go in and out of relationships like a broken record. You KNOW what to expect of them because most likely they haven’t changed, and neither have you. But you try anyways and fail, over and over and over and over again.

Its like sticking your hand in the fire. How many times are you going to do that until you finally realize that “Ouch, that hurts!”??

But in all honesty, its not just about relationships that we do these sorts of things. A lot of times we do whatever it is that is bad for us, and we get burned the first time. But then we go back to doing it again and again. And we never seem to learn from our mistakes.

I think that it comes down to two kinds of people. Those who learn, and those who will never learn. And I do feel sorry for the latter, but I don’t feel sorry half the time when they are repeatedly doing the same crap that causes them pain in the first place, even IF they say, “Yeah, I know! That was stupid of me.”, and there they go the next day doing it again.

I don’t know. I guess it just doesn’t make sense to me. And as far as my relationship past? Well, that’s where they are going to stay. I am so lucky I am that strong as to not go falling into those kinds of pitfalls. Not saying that I don’t have my own, but at least its not those past relationships where I am looking for fresher milk because I KNOW what is there, and I KNOW what to expect. And since I do not care for that, I will not entertain the thought.

When will you learn?




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