Excusez-moi?

Posted: July 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

When the summer heat gets this bad and you start to believe that it is going to melt your body into a nice puddle, one must find their own diversion and fun.

I took the liberty to order some food to be delivered via the Internet.

Twenty-one minutes after I completed my order online, they called me. Apparently a little lost, so I gave them the right directions to get to where I am.

When the driver showed up, I grabbed my wallet, snickering to myself and trying to hold it together.

I picked on the delivery driver in the WORST way. When he arrived at my door, I had a bit of fun with him.

I did not speak to him in English. Instead, I spoke to him TOTALLY IN FRENCH!!

It was not all that difficult. It was not the kind of practical joke that would take years and years of studying another language. At first, it was mainly me answering questions with “YES”… or in this case, “oui!”.

Then when I told him in French that I was really hungry and thank you, the poor guy stared at me as if I was about to cut off his head with the Sword of Solomon. It scared him half to death.

I signed the credit card receipt and signed it, writing in very large numbers that there was nothing to be added for gratuity. I could see the poor frightened squirrel of a man just want to disappear.

But in the end I gave him a cash tip of about 27% of the total bill.

I never once broke character. I even had French music playing when he arrived. He should have looked around and seen the things that were all in English.

It doesn’t end there though.

Almost an hour later, the store calls me. I answered the telephone in English. They asked for my name and if I had actually ordered food for delivery. When I told them that I had, and they had already delivered it, the manager of the store says to me, “Okay sir. Sorry to bother you. We just wanted to make sure that we had the right delivery to you, and not some crazy French man in a wheelchair.”

I did all that I could do to bite down hard on my lip and just go on like I did not know what he was talking about. I think though that the manager wasn’t too thrilled at the whole idea. I could hear the deliver guy in the background cussing me out and everything.

A crazy French man, eh??

Hilarious!!!!

Oh well. I might order from them again. It was just too much temptation not to have a little fun on this very warm July evening.

 

Comments
  1. Purple Chimp says:

    Hmmm ordering again from the same joint? Don’t you fear retribution?

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