Intruded And Insulted

Posted: October 5, 2011 in Uncategorized
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“The psychology of a language which, in one way or another, is imposed upon one because of factors beyond one’s control, is very different from the psychology of a language which one accepts of one’s free will.”~ Edward Sapir

The other afternoon I was taking a bit of a nap. It didn’t last long as I heard someone knocking on the door. So when I got up to answer the door, a very tall man (probably about 6’4″/ 193 cm) began to introduce himself as well as intimidate with his size to push me back away from the door and find his way inside of my home.

He sat down and introduced himself as a psychologist and wanted to come by and say “hello” and allow himself to be used at my disposal for my needs. I stared at him blankly for a moment, trying to figure out how he got inside so fast and then just made himself at home like he did.

Then he mentioned that “a neighbor” was concerned about me, considering the pain and suffering I had this past January from doing what I had to do when I was assaulted. Allegedly, this neighbor was concerned about my mental health and safety and gave him a call to come by.

Well, as much as I appreciated the idea that the neighbor was thinking about me this really wasn’t anything that I had in mind on how to deal with the traumatic situation that I had gone through. Yes, perhaps a psychologist. But not one that just walks through my door and sits down and starts asking me a bunch of questions. And trust me, this gets worse and it shouldn’t have.

So I gave him all of the gruesome details about the assault. The way I had protected myself, the death, and what had happened. As I was talking about it, he began to sit on the edge of the couch as if he was watching some intense moment on television.

When I had finished he sat back and exhaled. He shook his head and with plenty of profanity, he expressed how rotten that this had happened to me and that people suck… really, really SUCK.

He said something along the lines of he was glad it was just the one time. But I informed him that I have been no stranger to assault in this area in the past few years. People wanting my wallet or whatever I had.

He was shocked to hear that there was a lot more to my past with crime than just the one time. He began to laugh and laugh and laugh. More profanity as he exclaimed with his excitement. At some point, he had to stop me from going through everything. And then his reaction and comment was totally and completely insulting in my humble opinion.

He looked me in the face and said, “Man! You are a really big shit magnet!!”. And then he continued to laugh and laugh.

Umm…

I understand that it is so wild that I have been targeted many times for people who were willing to commit criminal activities and intrude upon me, but to insult me like that was totally unprofessional, uncalled for, and rude.

So then he said that I should call him in a few weeks and he will come out again and we will come back and talk to me. This guy apparently does visits in people’s homes. And I think that could work to other people’s advantage that he would come to them. I just do not understand how he keeps his job by behaving like he does. Especially how he behaved in front of me. Almost like he was having a great time hearing the stories that I was telling him. Stories of crime and of course, pain.

What really sticks out in my mind, is the laughing. And the swearing in his thoughts that some how I am some kind of person that attracts these bad things that has happened to me in the past few years. Almost to say that it is all MY fault.

And he says he wants to help me through the process of dealing with it. Now, I am not quite sure on how he is going to do that when I am feeling smaller and smaller as he laughs at me.

Clearly this is not the best guy for the job. Not if I am going to be feeling little about things. Isn’t he supposed to empower me instead? And clearly I have a neighbor out there somewhere, of course I was not told who it was, but whomever it was: Thank you for the thought, but mind your own business!!

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