Archive for November, 2011

“But the age of chivalry is gone. That of sophisters, economists, and calculators has succeeded; and the glory of Europe is extinguished forever.”~ Edmund Burke
 
This post is probably going to be beating a dead horse for some. But I’m going to write it regardless.
 
Most of us when the word “chivalry” is spoken, the instant thought that comes to mind are knights in shining armor and damsels in distress. They are both right AND wrong.
 
The attitude comes from the Middle Ages. The attitude of how men and women interacted with one another. It just so happens that the men were in armor and a lot of the times women were in distress. The men took it upon themselves to save them.
 
However the definition covers a broader area than just riding on horses, wearing suits of armor and killing the bad guy before the lady is overcome and defeated, just in the nick of time. The definition is “being courteous, especially towards women.”
 
So then, let’s ask: Is chivalry dead??
 
I personally do not believe that it is. To quote the film, “The Princess Bride”, it is ‘mostly dead’.
 
The word of chivalry comes from 1292. And that is a very LONG time ago. The world was nowhere near like it is today in the 21st Century. But as most things, the meanings and definitions as well as the understanding of language evolved. The word actually means “of horsemanship”. Yeah. Not so romantic, is it??
 
With the introduction of equality, chivalry has seemed to begin the final chapter of its existence. What used to be considered an act of chivalry, now is interpreted by many as condescension.
 
Most importantly, there is a vast difference in how things were in Europe nearly 800 years ago to the world as it is today.
 
Women were not seen as equals back then. They were considered weak and frail. And it was upon the shoulders of men to protect them. And now today, it’s a whole new situation as women are standing up for themselves in the public eye.
 
But before this gets off track, I want to go back to the original definition that was found. “Being courteous, especially towards women.”
 
There are still men who are courteous in this world. Particularly when it comes to women. I know that some women would say that they no longer exist. And those are the ones who are sighing in their bedrooms all alone, waiting for their Prince Charming. And they just are unable to find those who would be courteous towards them. So their ultimate reasoning based on their experience is that it doesn’t exist any more. Or they’re standards for men are far higher than any one person could possibly measure up to.
 
It doesn’t mean that chivalry is dead though. It’s just on life support… as one dared to joke.
 
I will notuse profanity in the actual presence of women. (Unless I know them to be profane themselves, which then just becomes dialogue.) I allow women to walk ahead of me. I open doors for them, whenever it is possible. They are first in line before me. I say things like “please” and “thank you” and smile while doing so in the presence of women. And if it is someone who I do not know personally, I always say, “ma’am” or “Miss”. I look them in the eye when I and speaking with them.

Chivalry is 'mostly dead'.

 
Why do I do all of these things? Because I am being courteous towards women. And let’s not get off track here about how it is all just a ploy to take advantage of someone in the hopes and tasks of getting what I want. No!! It is called having a respectful nature towards women.
 
For those women who have had some kind of interaction with me, they know all of this to be true. But I am not asking for their testimony either.
 
I am stating that I am one that does NOT want to see chivalry die out. I believe that it still is important in the 21st Century as it was in Europe in the Middle Ages. And I think that it doesn’t have to die. Even in a world were equality has become a focus. And there is nothing wrong with equality, I believe that there are some women who actually appreciate the courteous nature of men. HONEST men.
 
 

Concupiscence

Posted: November 29, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Well, I think that several friends of mine who are writers and authors would be very proud of me today.

I learned something new, and it truly is an amazing word! Some of us would dare to characterize it as a “humdinger” of a word.

Concupiscence

 

Concupiscence is defined as:

1. Strong desire, especially sexual desire; lust

2. ardent, usually sensuous, longing.

Wow! Pretty nice, eh??

This word couldn’t be any more clear in its definition. I honestly couldn’t see where there might be any confusion to what this word means. But just to be safe, I looked up the origin of the word.

Origin:

Concupiscence is from Late Latin concupiscentia, from the present participle of Latin concupiscere, “to desire eagerly,” from com-, intensive prefix + cupere, “to desire.” The adjective form is concupiscent. The name of the ancient Roman god of love, Cupid, comes from the same root. Probably 1300-1350 A.D.

The word possibly comes from the Middle English and French as well.

I do not know if Marina Orlova has covered this word on her YouTube channel or not. If not, then I think that she should. She studies the origins of words, and uses her sex appeal to garnish viewers. Perhaps in a sense, she could be described as concupiscence.

I’m going to attempt to paint a picture for those of you reading who aren’t 100% sure where the lines are drawn on the definition of this word.

If you find a person that you think is physically and sexually attractive and all you can think about is engaging with that person in sexual congress. That desire to do that, is concupiscence.

Concupiscence- an ardent sexual lust.

As I said, if you go by the two examples of definition that I’ve provided for you, then it really shouldn’t be all that confusing to what the word means. However, I will say this. I’ve not had so much fun learning a word since the discovery of the word:

Feculent

 

“It is astonishing what force, purity, and wisdom it requires for a human being to keep clear of falsehoods.”~ Margaret Fuller
 
It can honestly be amazing what kinds of personal advice that we seek from other people. We could probably ask 100 people and tell them that we are seeking their advice on one particular situation. Once their advice and/or opinion is offered, then it is also amazing what we do or don’t do with it.
 
It’s called a “choice”. The things that we choose to do or not do with the input that has been given to us after we request it, is the choice we have made.
 
But it can be pretty frustrating and disappointing once we have played the role of the sounding board and given our thoughts and input to those seeking our advice, only to find that the person never applied it to their personal lives in the first place.
 
This would become quite evident without the other person having to admit to you, “I didn’t take your advice”. Sometimes it just shows up on its own.
 
If for example,  someone came up to you asking for your advice on whether or not to break up with their girlfriend because things have been less than pleasant, and you knew that in the end the person seeking advice would be happier if they were single or at least away from the current situation- it will show up in their continuing misery because they never did call it quits and decided to press on with the relationship. Only to still be miserable and probably feel worse.
 
They didn’t have to admit that they didn’t take your advice. As a matter of fact, to my knowledge I have never heard of anyone ask for advice and then a few days later say, “I didn’t take your advice”.
 
I honestly would not find it all that surprising that anyone would do such a thing. Because what they are doing in fact, is admitting that they knew better but didn’t DO better.
 
That is the thing about it. They can come to you all they want and ask for it. But if it is not something that they honestly and truly want to do once your advice is offered, or they disagree with your advice then they are not going to follow it. And there’s nothing that you can do about it. You cannot make someone follow your advice once it has been offered.
 
I’ve given plenty of advice to all kinds of people. Sadly, most of them do not follow it. But then again, neither do they come back to me after they’ve been defeated in life and say, “You know what? You were right!”. That kind of thing just doesn’t happen in the real world.

Knowing your advice was not taken can often feel like this.

 
But it still feels so very disappointing when you’ve realized that you’ve given your time and effort to help a friend, and they continue to suffer with whatever it is that is giving them the problem because they chose not to follow what you had told them.
Let me repeat something for you:
 
You cannot make someone do something that they do not want to do in the first place.
 
I know that a lot of times when you do give someone your advice and the other person doesn’t follow it, that you sometimes feel like you never want to give that person advice ever again because since they didn’t follow it the first time, what will make you think that when they need help or advice again that they will the next time?
 
Even so, look at the other side of it. This person didn’t take your advice the first time. And now they are back for more advice- probably about something totally unrelated to the first. Instead of throwing your walls up and denying them, try to understand that if they are coming back to you again and again then it probably means that they still value your opinion. Even if it is something that they disagree with or do not follow.
 
Your thoughts, ideas, opinions, and advice are clearly of a greater value than you thought if they are returning to you again and again.
 
I know that from an earlier post called, “You’re Not Listening!”, I was pretty upset and steamed because I gave some advice and that person didn’t listen.
 
I will admit however, that the advice was just simply given and it was not something that was requested. I attempted to warn them not to get involved with something, and they did. And I knew that if they did, that they would regret it. And they did regret it. But there’s just nothing that I could’ve done about it. Still, I was pretty upset. And not to sound cocky but I knew that I was right. And so it became the next blog post so that I could just get my feelings of frustration out and let it go.
 
It was just a lesson that they were going to have to learn on their own.
 
I didn’t like it, I got upset and blew up. But after a while I calmed down and that was the end of it.
 
We’re not meant to police our family, friends, or loved ones. We cannot stop them from making what we might feel is the wrong decision. We are responsible in how we treat the other person when we are approached with the request for advice. What we say and how we say it. But we’re not responsible if it is not followed to the letter of the law… so to speak.
 
This is something that I hope to change personally in my own life in 2012.
 
And I am not saying that we are not allowed to be pissed off or disappointed or feel like we’ve wasted our time giving advice when it has clearly been ignored. I am saying that we’ve got to come to an understanding that whatever happens after we’ve spoken our mind is not up to us any more. If the person asks for it and then applies it to their situation and comes out smelling like roses, then HOORAY!
 
But if they don’t apply it to their situation and come out miserable, then there’s nothing much else that we can do. It will just have to be their cross to bear.
 
 
 
 

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”~ Chevy Chase as ‘Clark Griswold’ in “Christmas Vacation” [1989]

I can totally relate at the moment.

In as much as this is a favorite movie during the Christmas holidays, and the fact that me and my siblings have tried and tried and tried and tried to memorize this rant from the film, we never could seem to get it all. We’ve had better opportunity memorizing lines from “A Christmas Story”.

But this scene in the film (and a few others as well) has become something of a must-do in my family every year.

Still though, I’m wishing it was 2012 already. As we enjoy (or suffer) the last few hours of the Thanksgiving weekend and not to mention most of us with a four-day weekend, can we skip December??? I didn’t think so. Oh well, it was worth a shot! You don’t get anything if you don’t ask!!

As frustrating and depressing as 2011 has been, there’s still just under five weeks of it left and I’m so terribly looking forward to the new year. Plain and simple. I am full of the hope and wonder that it will be a far better year than this year has been. Even though it’s not completely over.

But I won’t give up! Hope that is. That’s just not within me at the moment. Even though it would be SO easy for me to surrender and say, “This year has been crap.” And just allow myself to slowly wither away.

Well: This year HAS been crap…. so what??

I got scammed out of $1500. I got bulldozed by a Mercedes-Benz. I’ve dealt with and some how survived one of the worst summers and droughts in history with terribly hot temperatures. I’ve had to play judge and jury in between arguments and disputes amongst the elderly. And of course, having to have to defend myself and my own life just two days before my birthday.

Clearly, there’s a lot more that I could add. But that’s just going to break down the spirit of those who read this blog post.

So yeah. I’ve definitely had a difficult time this year. And my temperament has been “below average”. I will leave it at that.

However, there is a flip side to all of this. And I am so appreciative that I have the cognitive skills to realize it.

I just played sledge hockey in front of a crowd of over 9,000 people. And there’s the promise in 2012 of doing it all over again in front of many, many more. The team is actually getting to travel. Something that I have never experienced before.

I’ve learned how to do a slap shot and make the puck go into the air. I’ve even scored some backhand shots.

I am excelling in the sport this season so much more at this point in the hockey season that I have nowhere else to go but up. According to personal stats.

I’ve been to Houston for the first time in my life this year and have been there a few more times.

I’ve got to meet SIX MINUTE CENTURY in person and each time that I have, I’ve received the VIP treatment.

I’ve met my literary hero, Jessica Trapp, in person. And I’ve been able to establish quite the wonderful friendship with her. How awesome is that?

I’ve developed social interactions and turned them into wonderful lifetime relationships. And one of them even turned into my best friend.

So do I have anything worth complaining about? Some may say “yes”- others would say “no”. It all depends on whether or not I am going to let those things that have greatly curved my life, and let it go into a tail spin. Or I could learn the lessons that were given to me and move on.

Last night my best friend told me, “You need rest. Not stress.” And even though I cracked a joke back at her with my response, she’s right. And I probably shouldn’t have been such a smart ass about it. But I do admit, she was totally correct.

There’s a lot of things that cause stress in our lives. But we need to figure out a way to manage that stress. I’ve certainly had a lot of stressful situations overwhelm me this year. Or at least it seems to have been overwhelming. And I’ve dealt with them the best and only ways that I know how. I probably could learn a little more to deal with it better. But that is the great thing about our lives is that it is an ever-growing, always evolving opportunity to learn.

Stress will be something that will NEVER go away. We all will have it in our lives. But we must do the best that we can under those circumstances to not let us end up like the movie character of Clark Griswold, and snapping every five minutes because we cannot get a grip on our own reality and life.

Spam

Posted: November 24, 2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

As of lately I have been really pulling my hair out because of spamming comments. Just in the last month I have deleted more comments that have been sent into the queue than any other time.

Spam is the use of electronic messaging systems (including most broadcast media, digital delivery systems) to send unsolicited bulk messages indiscriminately. Clearly there are a lot of these comments that have had some kind of advertising along with them. And it’s getting tedious to deal with.

Right at a point where I could see through the site stats that more and more people were reading different and various posts on this blog, along came with it the spammers who just post their comments to indiscriminate blog posts. And to me, it wouldn’t make sense for their words to be placed where they were. Their words didn’t line up to the content that was available.

A few months ago, I was averaging about 15-20 per day. Now I think that the average has gone up to about 40-50 per day. I think that is really great. But is it all real?

Ugh…

I think that what is most disappointing as well as disturbing is the fact that some of these comments did actually fit. They were words of really high praise. Comments that were so positive and encouraging as well as rewarding- only to realize a few weeks later that they were spamming comments. Because later those same exact words would come in other comments. Same words, same user name, different blog post.

So honestly I have been very confused because some of these comments, I cannot tell whether they are or not genuine. I know that I am not the only one out there that deals with it. We ALL get spam e-mails.

It just takes the wind out of my sails that now I’ve realized it and probably allowed one comment too many and now its everywhere. And what makes it even worse is the fact that the lines are now blurred that I cannot distinguish from a random user who is honestly trying to leave a comment versus someone leaving spam comments.

As it stands, I have somewhere between 80-90 comments in total. Including my own replies to others. And yet it all makes me want to look back and try to figure out whether or not those comments which are still remaining are spam. Some are more obvious than others.

So it is completely annoying. Perhaps there is some kind of setting that I’ve missed to deal with this situation. Something that I am unaware. I’ll look into it.

 

I am one really tired and sore person. But it is great to be a sledge hockey player.

There’s just not enough hot water in the shower for me to battle all of the sorness and everything out of the body.

My team was invited by the STAR skaters program to join them as they were going to participate in an exhibition over at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas during a game by the Houston Aeros.

So travel, we did. This was the FIRST time that our sledge hockey team has gone somewhere else to play in the history of the program!

We were fortunate enough to have enough people go to have our team represented well. And we were also fortunate to find out that our hotel stay was given to us by the Embassy Suites for free!!

But it was a very good time in Houston. We did an intermission exhibition for about five minutes. Although I do not know how many fans were there. I hope to find out how many were in attendance.

After the game (which went into OT), we got to play on the ice for an hour. We played against Houston and my personal stats soared! Although I did have some tricky backhand shots that were scored. It really was such a great time to be out on the ice like that.

Although I must share some moments that happened. For instance, I was on the ice in front of the crowd and the mascot for the Aeros saw me coming down the ice and started striking his stick on the ice. So I took that for hockey intimidation. I went blazing down the ice directly at the mascot and just inches away from him, I turned my sled sideways and ultimately took him out. His body went flying over my shoulder and landed on the other side. I heard several people react.

It was a controlled fall. The mascot was fine. I went near him to see if he was okay. I could hear him laughing inside of his suit. Everything was okay.

When we were on the ice during that hour into the night after the game, our team was just all over the opponent. I was very disappointed however to see that the seats were emptied out. Even though the game announcer encouraged the crowd several times throughout the game to stick around. Nevertheless, we were out there having a great time.

We finally got back to the hotel around 11:30 PM. Yeah, it was that late! I did the best I could, dragging my sled and equipment bag the two blocks back to the hotel and then up the elevator.

This is very similar to the view of the Toyota Center that I had from my corner room at Embassy Suites.

Throughout that evening, there were people coming in and out of the hotel. I really enjoyed how the employees at the Embassy Suites would acknowledge me as I went through the lobby and in and out. Once I came back in and I made my way towards the elevators, the people working at the front desk would always say, “Welcome back, sir!”. I thought that was really nice.

Lots of people in the downtown area. There was a group of teenage girls there. When I was pretty much done for that night, I was waiting on an elevator and here they came. We all were waiting and we got on the same elevator, punching numbers to each floor. I was on the eight floor and had already punched 8. And then others, 10, 11, 12, 14 and so on.

I was so exhausted that when the doors opened for MY floor, I didn’t move. I finally came back to reality and saw that I needed to get off the elevator. I snuck through just as the doors were closing. I could hear them all laughing because I had brainfarted that I was needing to get off of the elevator.

Oh well.

I got back to my room and put everything aside. It was really a cool place to stay. The entire room suite is much larger than the entire space in my home!!! I didn’t want to leave it was so nice, but then again, I’m not going to pay $180 a night.

Finally got to bed around 1:00 AM. Set the alarm clock for 6:00 AM. But I was up and awake at 5:00 AM. So I got ready for the day because it was going to be very busy.

At 7:00 AM, I had the opportunity to meet up with author, Jessica Trapp for breakfast at the hotel. It is always awesome to be able to hang out with her. I think she’s just the best and I am so glad that we are friends and that she was willing to come to downtown Houston to see me. So yeah, I was willing to get up that early to hang out with her even though I had a long day and a short night. It is always an euphoric reaction when I get to meet up with her.

After that, we checked out and waved farewell to Embassy Suites. We moved on to Memorial City Mall where they have an ice rink inside the shopping mall. There, we went back on the ice for a while. By noon that day, I was getting very tired and more sore throughout my body.

But we weren’t done. Not by a long shot!!

 A few hours break, we all hung out at the mall and had lunch and what not. Then off we went again. This time to Sugar Land Ice Center for two full hours of ice time!! All of the players on our team got there about 45 minutes early and were all spread out along benches, laying down. Just trying to stretch out our backs and get some rest wherever and however we could.

Once on the ice, we got warmed up as always. Laps around the rink, and then handling the puck while skating. Nothing really new for the team. But I guess something not so familiar for Houston’s program.

Meanwhile, as I was handling the puck. I took a shot at the goal as one of our team volunteers stood there as a goalie. I was in the sled, HE was on his feet.

So I took a very hard shot. I noticed that the puck went flying into the air. Which is something I am not really good at, but getting better. What happened next– could have been a $10,000 winner on “America’s Funniest Videos”.

The puck ascended into the air as it took off. It hit the guy standing there defending the goal…… right in the crotch. Now, it wasn’t the funniest thing that it hit this guy in the junk, but it bounced off of him and went into the net.

Those of us who witnessed it, all fell over laughing.

Those of us who did not witness it, went running to help people because they thought that the players were in trouble and couldn’t get back up again.

I had some friends come watch me at Sugar Land Ice Center. These were people that I have not seen since I was a child. I knew that they were taking pictures and videos. But alas, this particular hockey humor moment was not documented.

I am very grateful that they too, came out all that way to see me. It warms my heart that they were there to watch me play. I had my own two person cheering section.

But after getting involved in what I am calling a “four car pile-up” I got pushed backwards and slammed into the wall, hurting my back. I got off the ice and I was done.

We were all exhausted when we got home. Bodies sore, deprived of sleep, but not caring too much because it was all just a blast!

Not sure as to when we will be doing this again. There is a sledge hockey festival in April, in Dallas, Texas that is on our schedule or at least the radar. I am sure that locally, we’ll have some events starting in 2012.

But we thank STAR skaters for having us out there. We’ll meet again on the ice.

By the way: Can anyone come by and give me a massage? Thanks!!!

 

“I’m not Mr. Debonair Suave. I’m just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn’t sound very hot to me.”~ Jensen Ackles

This is probably the most disturbing story I have ever told on this blog. Mainly because it is probably the most disturbing story that I have read about in the past six months.

A woman called her husband to see if he was on his way home from work. The husband replied that he did not suspect that he would make it home for at least another hour. Disappointed because she wanted her husband home, she called him again ten minutes later, asking him to please hurry because something was going on in the house.

Twenty-five minutes later, the husband arrived home. Five minutes after he had been home it turned into a crime scene with one dead body, two injured.

Here’s the fully story of what I remembered reading:

The husband and wife were always playing pranks on one another. They had done that ever since they started dating. After a few years of marriage, the pranks continued. Some really good, others not so classic.

The wife’s desire to have her husband home was enough for her to call her husband back and pull another prank on him because she knew that it would definitely bring him back into her arms a lot sooner than an hour.

She had told him over the phone that there was a man in the house. Someone they both knew. It had been a man that had been hitting on her and flirting, even though the man knew that she was married. She told her husband that the man had come by the house and was intending on having sex with her while the husband was still an hour away from being home.

The husband believed his wife’s horrendous joke, and came home immediately. In the process he got a citation for speeding by the police. The husband however, retrieved a gun that was in the glove box of his vehicle and stormed into the house.

In a jealous rage, he shot the house up with bullet holes. Damaging and destroying a lot of their things. He stormed through the house and shot up the closet door in which he had suspected the “other man” to be hiding in. But there was nobody there.

When he couldn’t find the “other man”, the husband started to fight with his wife about her activities while he was at work. He wouldn’t listen to reason to her, so he pointed the gun at her and shot her.

After the rage had passed, the husband saw what he had done. He looked inside the closet only to find his five year old daughter laying on the floor. The bullets that he fired into the closet without aim, caused a shelf to come undone and all of the heavier contents landed on the child’s neck, breaking it.

It was the child’s special hiding place. Particularly when the husband and wife would argue and fight. She felt safe and secure inside of their bedroom closet. But it ended up not being safe at all in this case.

Then he went back and saw his wife laying there in a pool of blood and not moving. Remorse and guilt had set in, and so therefore he turned the gun on himself.

When the police arrived, the husband was dead. The wife and child would be taken to the hospital to be treated for their injuries. The child would survive her injuries and sent to live with her grandmother. The wife would become permanently disabled as a quadraplegic and unable to care for herself. When she was shot, the bullet hit her spine.

The family was torn to bits. All because the wife wanted her husband to be home sooner than later. She pulled a prank on her husband. Actually, told a lie to him in the hopes of getting him home faster. Initially one could argue that she was successful however the results of her words were harmful and deadly.

There is a time and there is a place for pranks and jokes. In this story, it was not the right time or place. It is something that is tragic and the prank should’ve never happened.

Pranks and jokes are always funny, at least when they do not happen to us. Usually when we become the victim of a joke, we don’t think it is necessarily funny when it happens. A lot of the times though we look back and think, “Okay that was kinda funny.”

If only we knew when those times were. If we think first before we react, then I believe that we can avoid having to deal with a similar situation like what happened with this family.

Yes, I know that a lot of jokes are funnier when it is done “on the spot”. But sometimes, these situations can get out of control and have the opposite reaction to what we were hoping, just to get a laugh.

Just the other day, I was a victim to a joke. It was one of those (what I call) “jumper” videos. Something that seems innocent at first, but then it suddenly something else JUMPS OUT on the screen, screaming. Yeah, I jumped so bad!!

I understand that they can be fun.

But to pull a prank on someone like that, just because you are wanting to change the fate of time? That is absolutely unnecessary.

So remember there is always a time and a place for everything. Have fun with your friends with jokes and pranks and what not, but be smart about it. If it is unsafe or at any point potentially dangerous- then you probably should pass on the prank and wait for the next opportunity to have fun at someone else’s expense.