Trouble With Tamales

Posted: January 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

“But I learned that there’s a certain character that can be built from embarrassing yourself endlessly. If you can sit happy with embarrassment, there’s not much else that can really get to ya.”~ Christian Bale
Someone who had heard my tale thought that this would be a funny blog post. But I don’t know. I suppose I will allow that distinction to be determined by my readers.
I was discussing that way back when, in a galaxy far, far away……………
I was at a pot luck dinner and a woman came up to me and asked if I had ever eaten tamales. I said that I had not. So then of course the response from her was, “Oh, you must try it! You’ll love it!”. So I agreed to at least give it a try.
Nobody told me what tamales were. They didn’t mention anything about the husks or what you are supposed to do with it, or the masa inside and what it was made out of.
Tacos and burritos were not a problem. Even enchiladas I knew about and had them from time to time. Tamales? Not up until that point!
I went to sit down and eat. Being that it was a pot luck, I had more than just the unusual Mexican cuisine on my plate. But eventually, I got around to it.
I took my fork and my knife and without knowing what the heck I was supposed to be doing… I began to cut.
Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut. Cut.
This tamale was particularly stubborn I had thought. It took me nearly 40 minutes to actually separate it from the rest of itself.
That’s right… 40 MINUTES OF CUTTING into something that I didn’t know what to do with in the first place.
Once I stopped cutting, I had problems getting it to stay on the fork. The masa fell out of the husk. So then I stabbed it with all of my might and then stabbed the cut piece of husk and put it all into my mouth before it began to fall of the fork another time.
I thought that the tamale tasted pretty good! The masa just melted and slid down my throat. But that stupid husk wasn’t going anywhere. It just rolled around in my mouth. I couldn’t chew it to where I could swallow it.
Eventually in my disgust, I secretly spit it out.
Then I grabbed my knife and fork again, and began to cut on the tamale again to repeat this long and tedious process of consuming Mexican cuisine.
The woman who had made them originally walked by and saw what I was doing.
She laughed so hard that she began to turn red in the face. Had there not been a chair just behind her, she would have fallen flat on her butt. She couldn’t breathe because she was laughing so hard. And I sat there, trying to get this thing to cut and wondering what in the world was so funny.
When she regained her breath, she got up and walked over to me. She softly put her arms around my shoulders and whispered into my ear, “Honey, you’re supposed to peel off the husk and eat what’s on the inside, not eat the entire thing.”
Great! Some information I could have used ALMOST AN HOUR BEFORE!!
The other foods on my plate suffered great losses. The hot food turned cold and the cold food turned hot. You get the idea!!
But honestly, it being my first experience with tamales, how was I to really know?
From that point on, I think that I’ve had tamales only twice or three times??
Definitely a moment of embarrassment. But it could have been a lot worse than what it was. Even though the stupid husk would never break down for me to chew and eat. Or even cut for that matter.
Oh well, life is full of wild adventures and experiences.
  1. Bill Chance says:

    Funny story! I’ve heard of that happening before, but never told so well.

    I wrote a blog entry about tamales too:

    Thanks for sharing.

  2. Joeblow says:

    Shucks Tamales do not come with directions do they Dambreaker.

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