To Battle One’s Urges

Posted: February 28, 2012 in Uncategorized
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“But, truly, I have wept too much! The Dawns are heartbreaking. Every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter.”~ Arthur Rimbaud
The one thing that started out as an announcement of pleasant, much happier news turned into a 70 minute fiasco against my emotions, feelings, and thought process. No matter how I fought it to allow that person to say what they felt, and then move on, only found me sitting there listening to them hit the repeat button.
 
Harsh criticisms and negative thinking in a fiery abundance which totally surpassed the original content of my conversation which was the joyful news of something positive and happy that happened to me today.
 
I wondered if they were even considering what they were telling me over and over and over again. After all, at last check, I am still human.
 
The only thing to do, was to walk away. Which I did- abruptly.
 
Guess what that did? Made me worse of a bad guy. As I gained a distance between myself and my “mental punisher”, I don’t think that it was anything short of a miracle that I made it within the walls of my home without shedding a single tear.
 
In every new experience, I’m frequently reminded that there are people out there who seem totally incapable of seeing the good and vomit the bad. No matter what we do, we’ll never measure up to their levels of satisfaction to where they will ever see us in a brighter light.
 
Often we are faced with those who feel the compulsion to be mean and nasty. And they do so without regard of others.
 
Yes, it does hurt. And it hurts a lot.
 
And on the flip side of the topic, there those of us who always see the train at the end of the tunnel, rather than the rewarding light. We are never happy when we find that others are happier than we. And we allow it to bother us. When that happens- WE are the ones who become the mental punishers of others. Not because they deserve it, but because of our own petty insecurities that keeps us stuck in the quicksand of brutal and insufferable gloom.
 
I grew up hearing “treat others as you would want them to treat you”. A lot of the times, that just never happens. Whether we are the ones being attacked or we are on the other side, attacking other people.
 
Of course we want to be treated with kindness and love. But often… do we treat others with the same respect? There are those times in which I feel we need to stop and reflect within our own hearts and ask that question. If we are experiencing misery when other people are experiencing joy.. don’t we owe it to ourselves to ponder that question inwardly??
 
Funny how this pendulum swings so wide.
 
If we fight our urges to keep the bitterness and nasty away from those who are sharing with us a moment of their personal triumph and joy then perhaps we just might receive it in return when it is our turn to bask the glory.
 
Being shot down by those with whom we share our triumphs and personal victories always catch us off guard.
 
It is a horrible feeling to drop out of the sky like that because of someone’s response or reply or feedback.
 
There’s no real cure for it. We can’t avoid or change how other people may view things, but we CAN control how we are interacting with others.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

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