Two Cougars & A Waitress

Posted: March 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

“Oh you crack me up!”~ my neighbor

As promised, I was taken out to eat. The e-mail invitation said to get cleaned up, so I did.

Suit and tie, baby!!!!

I tossed a photograph of myself up on my Facebook profile and captioned it “Pass/Fail ?”. It didn’t receive a lot of feedback. Not sure why. But I wore it anyway.

Off I went on an adventure back and forth and up and down the Interstate because nobody knew where the hell we were going. I had to make a call to the apartment manager to make sure that we weren’t losing our minds over it all. Finally, we found our destination, Applebee’s.

I’ll shorten this experience for the reader’s sake though.

Here I am, with two of my neighbors as they wanted to take me out to eat, and increasingly I was finding that our waitress was real cute. My first thought was that she was probably still in school, so I wasn’t about to try to talk to her.

Then it came to me like a lightning bolt. They serve alcohol, and so she has to be a certain age to work there because of the alcohol serving laws. So I started warming up to her little by little.

When my neighbors saw what I was kinda starting to do, they chipped right in and started flirting really aggressively with her… in my name and honor.

By the end of it, the two neighbors received 10% off their meals, because they were senior citizens, and I ended up with a free ice cream sundae because the BOTH of them kept telling everyone that I was celebrating my birthday. Wooohoo!!! I think everyone won there.

Each and every time the waitress came and went, one of the neighbors would tell me what my next move should be.. as if they were both dating coaches.

Eventually, one of the neighbors would steal my camera off of the table. I had emptied out my pockets and put it there while searching for my wallet. She then tossed it over to the waitress for a photo. But I told her to wait until I had dessert.

So then I posed with it, then I don’t know how the heck I got it out, but I asked for her to take a photo with me. To my utter shock and surprise she agreed. I mean, I kind of really sprung it on her when I made my request.

Then one of them said, “He’s gonna put it on Facebook!!”. I jumped back saying, “NO I’M NOT!!!”.. (but YES, I AM.) However by that time, I had lost the tie and I had given my jacket to the neighbor because she was freezing cold.

After feeling so bad that I jumped her for a photo, I picked up a $5 bill from the table and attached it with another $10 bill and then added my card inside. Then I personally handed it to her myself, and she never broke eye contact when she received it and then slipped it into her apron. So she never really saw #1- the card, and #2- just how much the tip was in total.

Not sure what, if anything, will happen. The law of averages state that when she finds it, she’ll throw it away.

But one thing is for sure, even if this waitress does throw it away… the next time I am there, I’m ensured even better service from her because I was personal enough to hand deliver her tip and give a higher tip than usual.

My neighbors laughed as they watched it all unfold from a distance. I told them that I was going to put this in my blog. One of them said, “You should call it ‘Two Cougars’.”

There you have it!

So a good start to this re-birthday celebration weekend. Tomorrow, who knows???


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