Lessons Of Sorrow

Posted: March 29, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I learned a lot today. Some things new, other things were more of a review.

This blog post comes unscripted, unplanned. And I will leave it up to the readers to decide whether or not it is good.

In trying to select an image for this blog post (once I decided that I would write it) I read a phrase. I don’t know if it is a quote from something specific or not.

“I can’t sleep because my pillow is all wet.”

The phrase clearly indicates that the person is crying in the middle of the night. And to be honest, I have been as well tonight. So I sit here in the silence of the dark, writing.

I have been living with a broken heart this evening. My lesson was that the past isn’t something that you can change. No amount of having the will or desire would ever change me into a super hero where I can turn back the hands of time and go back and FIX what would be that exact moment where my heart would begin to unravel.

And yet, there was something else that I would learn. Or at least remember about myself. And that lesson is the fact that I still have the capability to let go of my own hurt. More specifically, letting it go when I know that someone ELSE is hurting. And it is time for me to be that friend that they need because it is their time of sorrow, loss, and pain.

Right now in my life, there are a lot of other people who are hurting. They are lost, confused, sad, and don’t really know if the sun will ever rise again. It is my duty as a friend to be there for them in this stressful hour of need. And I know that I can be there for them and that I will be there for them. It is my duty as I took on the risk. My part of the bargain of maintaining what I have come to know as a friendship filled with love and compassion.

We’ve all been in the situation where we’ve heard about someone’s pain and we wished that we could just take it all away from them. But that magic pill hasn’t been invented as of yet. And until it is, it would just be better if we realize that we have to do the best to our abilities to sit down in silence, shut up, and listen to the cries of help.

One aspect of a friendship that I have learned through my own experiences is that “being there for someone” doesn’t necessarily mean you are there to give advice. “Being there” often means that you are listening to whatever problems your friends are having. Allowing them to say what is on their minds and in their hearts for the sake of them getting it off the chest and eventually work towards the healing process away from the current pain that they are experiencing.

I’ve gone through many times of being called on the telephone and the conversation lasted over an hour. And by the end of it, I’ve only said about a dozen words. Giving that person the opportunity to go through the motions and say what they need to say and having the thought process of what they are thinking outloud has always appeared to give that person some clarity in their confusing and frustrating world.

But no matter what whenever that person disconnected the telephone conversation has always been able to feel like they were starting to get back on their feet again. Because basically, all they needed was that attention for that time, without having the need for feedback or a sounding board.

That’s the kind of person that I am. Plain and simple.

I hate the fact that these people are hurting at the moment. I also hate the fact that there’s really nothing concrete that I can do. Other than listen.

I love my friends. And I am not a person who is shy to say it or admit it. Those who are really close to me know this about me. Because I tell them every chance that I get. Whether in times of rejoicing or in times of sorrow. This blog post just happens to be brought upon by a lot of people that I know who are experiencing sorrow. And should they call upon me again and again, I will remind them.

I have a very large reputation on the Internet for being this way. And so far, there’s never been any permanent damage from it. In fact, it is quite the opposite. When I have sacrificed whatever is going on in my life at that moment for the sake of someone’s heart who is breaking and I have listened? It has always turned out wonderfully in the end. Particularly for those who were previously drowning in sadness.

Again, that’s who I am.

I also believe that when the clouds are over us and we cannot see the silver lining, that we often forget that we are actually blessed with the fact that we have friends. Friends that we can depend on to be there for us in our need. Not so much that, but what is forgotten is the amount of friends that we have, that will support us. Friends that “have our backs”. Yeah sure, we call upon specific people because we know that we can rely on them. But there’s also those in whom we do not call upon. It doesn’t mean that they are not there sitting in our corner. It is something that is just simply forgotten because our minds are so concentrated on the fact that we are hurting.

I have no idea when all of this will end for everyone that I know specifically, who is hurting and is having a difficult time. I cannot tell the future nor read minds. But from what I have experienced personally- I’ve always come to a point where I have hit nothing but the bottom of the barrel, and still some how and in some way managed to reach the top again.

Those that I know who are down right now, will also reach the top. Each and every one of us has that capability.

Nobody said that life was easy. And then again, nobody said that we had to live our life alone.

But I surround those right now who are down, with the love from the bottom of my heart and I will open myself to them if they need me.

If we are able to do that, and not expect anything much in return (if anything at all), I believe that is the true definition of a friendship that has a foundation based on love, trust, and faith. 

 

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