Archive for March, 2012

“A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.”~ Bo Bennett
To my surprise, this evening I would make a return to the local Applebee’s for dinner. The same one where the two “cougars” of neighbors were flirting with the waitress when I went there last Friday.
I went with three different people, and I had told them about how really cute the young woman was.
The collective group was indecisive and I stepped away. When I came back, they said that’s where we were going. I then said that if she was working again, that I would point her out to them so that they could see for themselves how cute she really is.
I found it really peculiar that when I was ahead of the pack and went into the restaurant that we were seated at the same table that I sat at last Friday, and a chair was already removed from the same spot at the table. Weird.
Well, we did not have the same waitress. We had a guy waiting on us that was just as good as far as service goes. I asked him if she was working though. He said that she was there, but not on the clock. Then a few seconds later, I saw her and I tried very unconspicuously to point her out to the rest of the group that was with me tonight.
I was RIGHT (for once) about her being really cute. Neener neener neener!!!
But she never looked our direction, or walked by or anything. Up until about 6:00 when she did walk by and stopped at our table to say hello. I introduced the “gang” to this waitress and they exchanged greetings.
I was moving into “cute and quirky” mode and I said to her.. “Sorry, I don’t have a camera with me tonight.” Because I took her picture last Friday.
Her response was more of relief by saying, “Good because I don’t like pictures. I don’t do well with it.”
Cute & quirky: FAIL.
She kept herself at a distance, didn’t make any contact with me or anyone else at the table and kept shifting her weight from one leg to the other, swinging her arms. She was a bowl of JELL-O.
She asked if we needed anything and if we were satisfied with our food and what not, and we gave her the thumbs up. Then she said that she had been there working the lunch hours and was off for a few hours but back on the clock again at 6:00. I looked at my watch and it was exactly that. So she asked again if she could get us anything and we politely declined. From that point she walked away. She would never even walk anywhere near our table the rest of the evening.
So at the end of our night there Ipulled some cash from my wallet and slipped it into my hand again like I had done on Friday. Then when I saw her, I went into her direction. She would cross directly in front of me and excuse herself, and I called out, “Hey, come here?”.
She never moved. Only turned around. I stuck out my hand to “shake her hand” and I was telling her how good it was to see her again and that I had not thought that I would be back so soon. She probably saw the money in between my fingers this time and she just suggested that I give the money to our actual server.
I told her that I had already done so on the credit card slip. And that it was for her.
She looked right at me, didn’t raise her voice or throw a fit… simply said, “No!”.
I told her that it was for her. Again, she said “No!”.
I asked if she was going to take it or not and once more, the same as the first two times came out: “No!”. She didn’t even blink.
I know what waitresses in the state receive per hour, and it was only $5.00 that I was given her. Not the keys to a new car which resembles her actual first name.
When I gave up the offer and retreated, she turned back around and walked away without as much as saying, “Have a good night.”
So I guess this means that she probably has a boyfriend, or was thinking that I was trying to do something more than what I was intending on.
Also, I guess this is going to mean that I am going to have to go back and the class for being cute and quirky over again.
I was shot down, but I was not kept down. HER LOSS.
Back to the drawing boards!!!!!!!!!!

'I would do this, if I could.'

“Java! Java! Java! Java!!!”~ Brendan Fraser

Happy Day, Happy Weekend, something like that.

Regardless of what pathetic people did to my mood over the weekend, it’s been replaced with unrestrained jubilation today, fueled by two cups of coffee.

Yes, I fear the caffeine crash that is inevitable soon. But for now, the mood is beyond cloud nine.

The weekend began with the story from a previous post about being taken out to eat last Friday evening. Then it rocketed through Saturday and Sunday. I felt like the weekend just blew by until today.

But also on Friday, I finally was able to track down a package that was actually delivered around the time of my birthday, over a month ago that was sent by my brother who lives in Germay. Friday afternoon, I finally pinned the package and found it still waiting at the Post Office. Not thrilled that they declined my previous request to re-deliver it. However, it could have been worse and they could have returned it. But it had been sitting there for a month and I FINALLY got it.

My brother loves me and knows me very well. He sent two Rammstein albums. One that I had before but lost, and the other one was “newer”. And to his credit, he also sent the newest album to me for Christmas last year.

I received Liebe ist für alle da, and Herzleid. I went for the classic album first, but then when I turned on Liebe ist für alle da, I am stuck and I cannot get passed the first track, “Rammleid“. Even though I am aware of the other songs on the album, such as “Ich Tu Dir Weh” and “Pussy“.

So I’ve been rocking out all weekend long, in German. With me being stuck on the song, “Rammleid“, I am sure that my neighbors definitely heard me shouting “Ramm-stein!!!!” a few times during the song over the weekend. Or maybe a few dozen times.

Then this morning, the postal carrier came knocking on my door with another package.

It was from my penpal that I have been writing for almost ten years.

I was extra happy when I saw the box. But I knew what it was, but not exactly sure what kind or whatever. Still, to have it hand delivered is always cool.

I received a Canon Powershot A80 Digital Camera. It’s great! I’m going to have to play with it today so I can get used to how it works and all of that. This could be the camera that I have been looking for, in order to make videos better and clearer. Perhaps I’ll begin uploading videos to YouTube, we’ll see!

I like the fact that the display screen comes out and you can actually see what’s in the view finder. It’s a pretty neat idea for a camera.

I’ve not had a lot of luck with digital cameras in the past. I hope this is the exception. But I think that if I make myself very familiar with the camera, I should be okay. I’m excited to start working with it. It came with a fresh set of batteries and an extra memory card.

In my absolute state of being on top of the world, I went to go show my apartment manager the camera. I knew that he would appreciate the fact that I had something. And then he turns around and hands me a Men’s Travel Kit by Paul Mitchell.

His girlfriend works for Paul Mitchell, and he’s been talking about getting me some product so that I don’t have to keep shaving my head in the military style that I have been keeping in for the last … well …. let’s just say a very very long time. There are others that agree that they want me to grow out my hair and keep it the way it is now. These products were meant to keep my hair under control as I have horrible cowlicks if I let it grow out too long.

While I was talking with my apartment manager, two attractive women came into the office, I backed out and allowed them to conduct their business. But I was there to see them come through.

And like I said at the beginning, I’m also fueled by two cups of coffee that was overloaded with sugar & cream. And those two cups were consumed back to back.

So yeah, someone is BUZZIN’!!! Both by jubilation and by the caffeine.

It turns out that my rather unusual guess to celebrate my birthday this past weekend worked out well. Gifts that were originally intended to arrive for my birthday came this weekend and today. And a few people just played along with me and wished me a happy birthday. Some were happy that I made the decision to do so. I am too.

I haven’t had a “good weekend” in a long time. I think that I was overdue. Or that I overlooked something. But for sure, this was full of excitement and a bit of adventure.

Thank you to all who gave me gifts. And thank you to all of those who played along this weekend that I was celebrating. Very few “got it”, most didn’t. But that’s okay. Clearly, the timing on some of these things were perfect!

I’d be bouncing up and down and jumping everywhere, if I could.


“Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.”~ Samuel Goldwyn
This t-shirt image was given to me last night by a great friend of mine. This t-shirt is on eBay for sale.
I love it! I think its wild and I think its funny!! But this image would eventually bring out the worst in me, due to a small collective group of people who are totally and completely ignorant.
The image is obviously of a two people making love while one of them is sitting in a wheelchair. Gender cannot be determined. But gender isn’t the point. The point is the funny visual of making love while sitting in a wheelchair.
I was delighted to see it, so I shared it across the Internet. A lot of people enjoyed it, thinking it was funny as well. But there were that small group of people that just took the image and discussed it at length to the point where they were absolutely out of line and their comments were uncalled for.
These ignorant morons literally to this image to the extreme and came up with the general idea that this could never happen in reality. Furthermore, their opinions went as far as to say that ALL people who need the use of the wheelchair cannot make love, because they are in a wheelchair.
If there ever was a time for my mouth to let fly a series of F-bombs, this would be one of those times.
I could not believe the stones that they had, to say something like that. To me, to others, and actually believe that what they were saying, was totally true and right. And of course, they were closed-minded to any debate. In their minds: HANDICAPPED PEOPLE OR PEOPLE WITH PHYSICAL DISABILITIES CANNOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS.
I asked them all, if they had sex. Then I asked if any of them who have had sex before ever done so other than the bedroom. Whether it be the couch, a chair, the backseat of a car, whatever. Some still said yes. But they still were not grasping the concept that they were in the exact same position as the people in the image when they were engaging in sexual relations with a partner.
For them to say into my face that it was impossible, was more than just an insult. It was absolutely discriminating. My final words to them were, “When you find yourself in a wheelchair for something stupid that you did, which caused you to be in a wheelchair, you tell me whether or not if YOU can have relations with another person. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and cannot do, because you do not even know who I am. You’ve never met me, you do not know what my own limitations are. And neither do any of you know of the relationships I have had in the past with women, and what I have or have not done with them. Open your mind because there is no way that you can say for sure what I (or others who are also in wheelchairs) can or cannot do. Why? Because you don’t have the lives that we do and will never know what we have to endure to get by every day. So either think before you speak, or shut the fuck up!”.
I was infuriated and very pissed off. It didn’t calm the debate down by a long shot, but I got out what I needed and wanted to say.
I realize that a lot of people don’t fully understand what I have to go through in life. I also realize that when I tell them, that it might be difficult for them to visualize. And that’s because they don’t have to go through it themselves. Doesn’t make them stupid, it makes them without knowledge and unaware.
The same thing happens when I tell people that I play sledge hockey. Automatically, their minds have this visual of people in wheelchairs on ice. But that’s not what the sport is about. And I have to walk them through it and explain it to them so that they have a better understanding.
I do not know what it is like to drive, jump rope, or go rock climbing. Doesn’t mean I should bash on those who do. And that’s exactly what these people were doing! Their assumptions that physically handicapped people and their limitations go so far. And in their minds, it wasn’t far at all.
Everyone has their own opinion. But at some point, there comes a time where sometimes that opinion should be quietly withheld. And that statement is MY OPINION.
If this group of people would have either just agreed or disagreed that the t-shirt image was funny and dropped it, this explosion of anger wouldn’t have happened. I was not the only ones involved in the conversation that were angry either. But for those who were, I couldn’t really get a word in, except for the above stated quote.
As far as the t-shirt goes, I’m glad that it was brought to my attention. And most likely I WILL purchase it from eBay. Why? Because to me- its funny.

“Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long…..”~ Jess C. Scott

In November of 2010, I added a woman from Brazil to my Facebook friends. After doing so, I checked out her profile and saw that nothing was in English. Not even in Spanish. I would find out that the language spoken in the country of Brazil, is actually Portuguese.

A language that I don’t speak. But I was told that Portuguese is “like Spanish but spoken with a French accent.” So when I began to talk with this woman, I could see how some of the words and phrases were similar to Spanish and some of it, I could understand on my own. The rest of it, I had to run to any and all translation websites available in order to keep up with her in the conversation.

How quickly the tone of the conversation would change to what one may consider a more mature and adult conversation. At first, I was not sure whether or not I should continue to talk about the subject with her. However, I did think that she and I were adults and that it was possible to discuss such matters AS adults.

Before I knew it, she would ask questions about what I prefer to do in the bedroom behind closed doors. So in thinking that this could be discussed maturely, I did answer any of her questions that she had. But still, since there was a huge language barrier, and we all know that translation websites are NOT 100% accurate… I think this either freaked her out or she didn’t understand what I was trying to say, and she became confused.

And then, POOF!! Gone.

It left me with a bunch of cognitive distortions of what I might have said wrong, or if the translation into Portuguese was way off.

But then a few days later, (or I should say nights) the conversation came up again. This time more intimate. So then I thought that why should I answer these questions and just let her go on with knowing these things about me. I turned the questions around on her and had her answer some of her own seedy inquiries.

POOF!! Gone.

Whiskey.Tango. Foxtrot, over.

Then there would be nothing from her for weeks, months. And so then she would appear again. And of course I continue where we had sort of left off.

Good grief, I get the almighty cockblock from her. Even after several different conversations with her. It was like she wanted to know about my intimate life and asking specific questions and then just as day breaks, she gives off the “I don’t want to talk about that. I cannot talk about that.”

That is pretty stupid to set the tone and then flip it over on someone without notice. I really hate it when people do that to me. I am who I am and I talk the way that I talk, because that IS me. If you start off with a more adult attitude and then want to flee? Then perhaps you should just go away. If you don’t want to talk about mature subject matter, then speak up at the beginning.

I didn’t speak to her for months and months after that. I honestly was not thrilled from her behavior. Any communication just dropped because #1- the translations from English into Portuguese were obviously wrong and causing problems and #2- I got tired of her talking about intimacy and sex in one minute and then the next having to be told “I can’t.”

Never through any of our conversations did she ask about what I like, what my interests are, what I do, and so forth. It was always something intimate and personal.

During that several month hiatus, I finally… finally… finally caught on to something.

'She would ask questions of intimacy and sex. But when I asked her the same- she would disappear.'

Our conversations in Facebook would always take place at night. With her being 2 hours ahead of me in a different time zone, it would be REAL late at night for her. So she’s up in the middle of the night, talking sex. Any other conversation that might have taken place during the day, was short and brief and always would have to put up with “POOF!!! Gone.” a lot sooner.

So the communication has been next to nothing. Up until I posted that “pass/fail” photo of me on Facebook. In which she did click “like”. I knew that she would not understand the phrase of “pass/fail”, so I asked her what she thought about the photo.

I would just receive another exchange of “you’re so handsome and attractive”.

I don’t hear that a lot from women, at all. I simply don’t. So when I DO hear it, I pay attention. But I think that I’ve paid too much with this woman.

And then after that, I posted a photo of a t-shirt that is supposed to be funny.

A friend of mine showed me that this shirt was on eBay, and I shared it on Facebook, thinking that it would get a few laughs out of people. It caused a bit of a stir that would infuriate me, but that story I will save for the next blog post.

Needless to say that this woman from Brazil “liked” that as well. I wondered if she understood the joke. So I asked her.

She said that she did understand it. And I told her to explain it to me so that I knew for sure that she did understand. And quite honestly, she actually DID understand the image on the t-shirt. I explained that it was meant to be funny.

Her response was “It is not funny or a joke. It’s romantic. It is two lovers making love with one another.” And then again, I heard about how charming and attractive I was.

As a joke, I asked her if she wanted to reproduce the image with me in real life. And here we go… my humor gets lost in translation. And she thought that I was being absolutely serious.

And then guess what? Yep. POOF!!! Gone.

I waited a bit to see if she would respond again. When a person begins to slow down their conversation, it could always be something that has taken them away from the conversation by distraction. But after twenty minutes of waiting, I looked at the clock and the only thing I could assume was that she just went to bed.

But when the spotlight is on her and what she is thinking or desiring, she runs like hell!!

So I’ve come up with my own theory:

  • She is very unhappy in her marriage. Her being married was something I knew from the beginning. Which causes a lot of the surprise when she is asking intimate questions and seeking intimate details.
  • She has 3,600 friends on Facebook. Literally! What is she seeking from them all?
  • 90% of all conversations with her, happen very late at night. It is quite possible she is waiting for her husband to go sleep before she says anything.
  • The possibility that she is rather interested in me, regardless.

Not like any of that is going to matter. I live in the United States and she lives in Brazil. I don’t see any circumstances that would ever cause us to cross paths. It is possible- but rather improbable. And I am not going to do any intercontinental traveling just to get laid.

I spun last night’s conversation towards the end. I asked her what she would do if she actually saw me in Brazil. She said that she would hug & kiss me. Now I know that there are some countries in which it is customary to kiss. So with her past history of being the way she is, I asked “on the face or on the lips?”. And that most likely got lost in the translation that I had. I was going to actually ask her if the greeting of a kiss was customary in Brazil. But she fled. And I haven’t spoken to her since.

One thing is for sure, if she dares to say “hello”, I’m gonna ask her again and again and again until she answers me. And then I am going to find out if my theory is correct and if she is actually just unhappy in her marriage. If so, this would explain a lot for me. Not like it would change anything though. But I’m going to find out!! If this causes her to run away, permanently.. then so be it. I really don’t need to be socializing with ANY person like that.




“Oh you crack me up!”~ my neighbor

As promised, I was taken out to eat. The e-mail invitation said to get cleaned up, so I did.

Suit and tie, baby!!!!

I tossed a photograph of myself up on my Facebook profile and captioned it “Pass/Fail ?”. It didn’t receive a lot of feedback. Not sure why. But I wore it anyway.

Off I went on an adventure back and forth and up and down the Interstate because nobody knew where the hell we were going. I had to make a call to the apartment manager to make sure that we weren’t losing our minds over it all. Finally, we found our destination, Applebee’s.

I’ll shorten this experience for the reader’s sake though.

Here I am, with two of my neighbors as they wanted to take me out to eat, and increasingly I was finding that our waitress was real cute. My first thought was that she was probably still in school, so I wasn’t about to try to talk to her.

Then it came to me like a lightning bolt. They serve alcohol, and so she has to be a certain age to work there because of the alcohol serving laws. So I started warming up to her little by little.

When my neighbors saw what I was kinda starting to do, they chipped right in and started flirting really aggressively with her… in my name and honor.

By the end of it, the two neighbors received 10% off their meals, because they were senior citizens, and I ended up with a free ice cream sundae because the BOTH of them kept telling everyone that I was celebrating my birthday. Wooohoo!!! I think everyone won there.

Each and every time the waitress came and went, one of the neighbors would tell me what my next move should be.. as if they were both dating coaches.

Eventually, one of the neighbors would steal my camera off of the table. I had emptied out my pockets and put it there while searching for my wallet. She then tossed it over to the waitress for a photo. But I told her to wait until I had dessert.

So then I posed with it, then I don’t know how the heck I got it out, but I asked for her to take a photo with me. To my utter shock and surprise she agreed. I mean, I kind of really sprung it on her when I made my request.

Then one of them said, “He’s gonna put it on Facebook!!”. I jumped back saying, “NO I’M NOT!!!”.. (but YES, I AM.) However by that time, I had lost the tie and I had given my jacket to the neighbor because she was freezing cold.

After feeling so bad that I jumped her for a photo, I picked up a $5 bill from the table and attached it with another $10 bill and then added my card inside. Then I personally handed it to her myself, and she never broke eye contact when she received it and then slipped it into her apron. So she never really saw #1- the card, and #2- just how much the tip was in total.

Not sure what, if anything, will happen. The law of averages state that when she finds it, she’ll throw it away.

But one thing is for sure, even if this waitress does throw it away… the next time I am there, I’m ensured even better service from her because I was personal enough to hand deliver her tip and give a higher tip than usual.

My neighbors laughed as they watched it all unfold from a distance. I told them that I was going to put this in my blog. One of them said, “You should call it ‘Two Cougars’.”

There you have it!

So a good start to this re-birthday celebration weekend. Tomorrow, who knows???


“Carpe Diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.”~ Horace

Why thank you, H-man. Don’t mind if I do!!!

Upon my first check of my e-mail this morning, I read a message that was sent from one of my neighbor. I was told that on Friday, I was to get cleaned up and dressed up because she and another person was taking me out to dinner for my birthday.

Now my birthday was over a month ago. Sadly enough, most of us remember that I was in the hospital when it came along this year.

'Meager at the hospital is better than nothing at all.'

But it was not a total waste. My family called me. And I’ve always appreciated it. What I did not know at the time was that waiting for me on Facebook was about 40 personal birthday wishes from people which also included get well wishes. I would find all of this after the fact.

Yet this particular neighbor that I speak of thought that it really sucked that I never really did get a chance to celebrate in some way or fashion this year. Then I thought that I was going to celebrate my birthday still, just a little bit later. So I have been calling it my “re-birthday”.

This weekend will be that time. Starting with the neighbor’s request that I show up for dinner. I originally was going to select the date of the 4th of March (by random). And perhaps that I still might. I just had hoped to be able to go out with some friends of mine. But this weekend, my friend lost his mother and so they are leaving for out of town in the morning and will not be back until early next week. My thoughts go out to him.

However, I will not let that stop or slow me down either. So I choose the whole weekend to do what I want! Yay me for initiative, right?!?

So I take the opportunity to celebrate. And I’m allowing others to join me too. I’m not picky, honestly! And I’ll start it all by getting dressed up and going out to eat with two elderly women neighbors. Not sure what I am going to do the rest of the weekend. I have a friendiversary to celebrate this weekend too. That should be fun as well.

That reminds me, I need to send them flowers.

But because I “missed” my birthday, doesn’t mean that I can no longer celebrate it. And that also doesn’t mean that others cannot celebrate it with me. There really are no laws or rules about when to celebrate it. Many other people celebrate other holidays on other days. And sometimes that’s just what happens. People’s schedules get busy and they cannot be there on that exact day. And like in my case, my butt is sick as a dog and laying in a hospital bed.

I did though, beat it. And I’m alive today. And I’m celebrating this weekend.