The Relationship Jigsaw Puzzle

Posted: May 11, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

“Trust takes years to build and only a second to shatter.”~ Unknown. 

Reader’s Request Blog Post.

Awesome! I love it when I hear from people and they request for me to talk about a certain subject. I’m always open to those kinds of ideas.

Over the course of two and a half days, I listened to someone talk about realtionships and their life. All of them. From romantic to friendships, both past and present.

I gave him the analogy of the jigsaw puzzle. Sometimes we never know what is truly there behind someone until we began to put the pieces together.

Much like trust, relationships fall under the same guidelines as to what will make or break them.

Sometimes, relationships end when one thing tragically strikes. Which was the case for this person that I spoke to. He said that he was completely crushed when he found out that someone who he had considered as a friend, was probably not at friend at all. He was also crushed at the fact when he admitted to seeing the signs, but chose to either make excuses for them or chose to ignore them.

But I think that it is true. We never really know who people are, especially on the inside until we’ve taken the long road to get to know them. And in most cases, it does take years to understand who they are, what they are like, and whether or not they are someone that we would prefer to keep in our lives. Each day brings another piece to the puzzle. This person said that he thought he saw a beautiful picture forming in this jigsaw puzzle that was his friendship with this other person, but as days and weeks and even a few years went on… he realized that there was more to the picture of the jigsaw puzzle and it was NOT something that he liked. So now he’s feeling stuck because of the fact that he had invested so much of his life with them and now finds himself in a position where he doesn’t like where things are going.

I believe that in one way or another, we all go through the same thing in life. We begin a common bond with someone based on what we see at the surface. But as things progress and we get to know one another, we get to a point where we have to make a decision of whether or not we want to continue on with that relationship. Especially when things become very unstable or rocky. And they almost always will at some point.

The only thing that I could advise him on, was either stay with it or walk away and never look back. Relationships are never perfect. We have to understand that. There’s just going to be those times in which those people will do or say something that displeases us. Then the choice is either walk away from them, or forgive them and either way you go the point is to be able to carry on…. with or without them.

It wasn’t easy for him to hear me tell him this at all. He’s afraid that if he continues on with the relationship, that he’ll just find more and more negativity about them and it would make him miserable. But on the other hand, he feels that if he walks away that his time with them was worthless and wasted. On top of the feelings of guilt and being alone because he made the choice to walk away and that they are no longer a consistent fixture in his life.

Indifference and inaction isn’t the answer either. It just causes more heartache.

People come into our lives. Sometimes people leave our lives. But they ARE there for a reason. If they are not meant to be there for a lifetime, then they won’t be. And no matter how hard we fight to keep them there, it only causes things to get worse.

I feel really bad for him because I’ve been in his shoes so many stinkin’ times in my own life. Sometimes I think about how I miss those who are no longer in my life. But I have to also remember that there is a reason for that. And usually for me, that keeps my sanity at a certain balance to remember the reasons WHY they are no longer there.

The dismissal and disconnect of a relationship is never easy. But once we purge ourselves of the things that are “bad” for us, the sooner we can live a healthier life.

As social I am, I really know how much it stinks to either lose someone or let someone go. But there’s really nothing more that I can do in some situations. I can either hang on to the relationship that has soured, and stew in the painfulness and HOPE for the best, OR I can let go.. experience the pain at the beginning, and then heal and move on.

Each person is different. Sometimes it doesn’t take a lot of time for a person to realize what the jigsaw puzzle is turning out to be. And for others, it sometimes takes the entire jigsaw puzzle to be put together and stand back and see what they have before they realize what it is.

I couldn’t tell this guy “You need to leave, then it will be better”, and neither could I say, “Hang in there, it will get better” because I honestly don’t know for him what is right and what it is he is willing to put up with and just deal with certain situations. And I couldn’t say where he’s going to go. I just hope and wish for him the best.

But what I can say for those who read this, is that we must do what is BEST for us. We have to survive in life and do what we need to, in order to continue on in this lifetime. Yes, a lot of times we come across situations where its not easy to make a decision but ultimately there will come a time where we will need to make one before we can move on in our lives. Whether right or wrong.

We are strong though. We’ll make it through.

 

Comments
  1. Jodi Ambrose says:

    Okay, so to fulfill your “why did Jodi like it” request, here we go:

    1) You have excellent grammar and punctuation. That always makes me very happy!
    2) I agree with everything you said (and that is rare indeed!)
    3) I think you give great advice.
    4) You are introspective. That is good.

    So, THERE! 😉 Tee hee hee… It really is a great post. 🙂

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