Archive for June, 2012

“I look within and choose to find, A blaze that won’t die”~ Beautiful Disturbance “Nearly Forgotten” 

Each person can measure the distances of just how far they are willing to go to get whatever it is that they want. Some will find that their limitations are quite small, and therefore don’t go very far.

Today for me, a test of will. How far was I willing to go in order to see a band that I just heard about fairly recently? The answer: ALL THE WAY.

I got myself up and running even if it was a Saturday morning. I knew that I was going to have to do battle with the local buses in order to make this show. And I was excited from the moment that I had today’s first yawn. Listening to what has become a personal passion for their song, “Nearly Forgotten”… my poor neighbors again, having to endure it on repeat.

My journey would have some difficulties though as the bus didn’t quite drive up to the front door of the venue, which was The Microsoft Store in The Domain. The Domain is this large area of restaurants and shopping on the other side of the interstate highway from where I live.

Several miles, but only an hour bus ride through public transit. Except for the last haul of the journey.

The last three-quarters of a mile, I would trudge through uneven ground, tall grass, and steep inclines. I guess the city ran out of money to pave some stinking sidewalks down there.

I thought I was going to be late. The website said 1:00 PM. I went through the doors of the store at 12:58 PM. Hmm, lucky me.

Employees greeted me and of course was trying to be of assistance. But I was not there for their service. I was there to hear music. Most of the employees who heard the reason of why I was there stared at me with a blank look of confusion growing upon their faces. One even told me “They are not here so they must not be coming.”

I felt defeated. I didn’t see any notifications of any cancellations. Especially after seeing on Facebook that they were “on their way.”  I also felt so tired from treating the wheelchair like an ATV. Which it is not.

I had a choice: Stay and see what happens or trudge back home.

And then I had a fabulous “Eureka!!” moment. I’m inside the Microsoft Store. There are computers all over the place!

Hello? McFly??!??

I logged into one to find out if there was any last minute cancellations. I then found the phone number for the band and I called to find out whether or not they were coming. They answered, they were minutes away.

I stayed put!!

I saw the band come in. But I didn’t say anything to them. I wanted to see if they were going to recognize me. I nodded and smiled as they were in and out of the store to set up for their gig. I kept silent, just looking to see how long it would take before they realized who I was.

An employee of the store would ruin all of the fun.

She cried out “You gotta fan waiting for you guys!”. She turned to see where I was and then pointed me out. When I introduced myself, it all clicked for the band. They were overjoyed that I had made it.

A few minutes of setting up everything, it was time to start.

The show began.

The set was to be acoustic. So I wasn’t able to just let it all out and start rocking….. or was I??

They started with my obsession, “Nearly Forgotten”. I had never heard this acoustically before. And it still was great. Although during the second verse I was busted by their lead singer, Brenda, for singing along. She and I caught eyes and she smiled and pointed at me as she realized I had already joined in with them and was singing.

It’s only rock ‘n’ roll, but I like it! It was only the first song and I was getting INTO IT like Paul and Barnaby getting all into Grandma Smith’s apple pie.

Their bass player, Belle, was very impressive as well. I’m not sure how it got started but she had been draped with the reputation of being one of the best bass players in the entire state. And after seeing just the acoustic set, I can see why they say that.

And then on the other side was their lead guitarist, Auggie. A man that has love, music, and life rushing through his veins. He is so intense with making music and it shows. He is a monster! Even with the fact that it was an acoustic set, I was absolutely certain during the third song of the set that he was going to break the bench that he was sitting upon and just turn wild and loose!! He’s a passionate musician. And I think that is something refreshing to see from the fan’s perspective instead of having this attitude of “I’m the musician, you’re the fan. My job is to play. Your job is to love me.”

But all of the band members were friendly and kind. After the show, photographs were taken. I got their EP autographed as well.

As they were beginning to take down their set, I found myself not wanting to leave. I just wanted to hang out with them. But I got out of their way to let them do what they needed to do. They have another show in their hometown of Waco this evening. Best wishes to them tonight!!!

It was worth going the distance today. And it fuels my excitement to see them play again in August at BFE Rock Club in Houston, Texas along side SIX MINUTE CENTURY. That should be a really great show, in my opinion.

“Always profit from disaster”~ Jefe 

So today I received a telephone call. It was a friend wanting to know if I wanted to go to the liquor store with him. He’s got a brand new vehicle, and I had told him that I wanted to take a joy ride. So this was my chance.

As I abandoned my own meal that I had prepared for the evening, I took off into the Land of Booze. My friend was clearly on a mission, and I was just there to run around. I had no intention of buying anything there. Even if I did want something, I left my wallet at home.

And then I would turn the corner and go down the last aisle and find something familiar. Something that I would want. VAT 69.

I’ve had this before. The label says its Scotch Whiskey. The label also says “Imported from Scotland”. I still to this day have no idea if whether this is a scotch or a whiskey or if its really all just the same.

I’m not real big on drinking. I never really have been. And even when I go out, I don’t drink. So I honestly don’t know too much about the different kinds of alcohol and what they are.

But I’ve bought VAT 69 before, in the 1.75 L bottle. Tonight, I had my friend buy the only size bottle that they had, which was “1 litre”.  He paid $15 for it.

I was remarking about my journey to another neighbor earlier this evening, and I told her about my FIRST bottle. And what happened to it. That neighbor’s request has prompted this story to be told in this blog post.

When I had the 1.75 L bottle, I had paid almost $45 for it. Alcohol is not something that I normally would buy and so I knew that this would last me a while. And if I didn’t like it, it would last me a lot longer.

But I blame Hollywood for that first purchase. And I blame Hollywood for my interest in trying Absinthe.

This VAT 69 was purchased only because I became a fan of the HBO series, “Band of Brothers”. It was shown in an episode towards the end of the series. And since I liked the series so much, the next time I found myself in the liquor store… I looked for it.

For whatever reason, be it ignorance or whatever, since the series was set in World War II- I wasn’t even sure if VAT 69 was around any more. I would always look for the specific black label that was shown in the series, but never saw it. Instead it was always VAT 69 GOLD. Proving that yes, it is still being sold. 

So I would sit down and drink it the first few nights. But I wasn’t really drinking heavily at all. It wouldn’t even seem like I was making a dent to the bottle.

Then at one point, I had a bad tooth that needed to come out. So I would drown the pain away with VAT 69. At least I had the sense to stay inside of my home when I did that. And even still, that would never make a dent.

Enter: Neighbors In Need. 

A married couple had been displaced because of Hurricane Ike. And now they live here where I am. The husband very tall and yet quiet and perhaps shy. The wife being friendly, yet living the life piously of “a good Christian life”. She would berate me like she was my own mother if I were to say words like “crap” or “dang”. Heaven forbid I uttered the truer profane words of “shit” and “damn” in her presence! Not only would I receive the third degree for using profanity in her home, but anywhere else that I might have been where she was at as well.

Then her health began to take a turn.

Unfortunately,  she was not always financially able to get the medications that she needed at the time that they were prescribed.

Some other friends incessantly offered to make her a drink in place of the medication, saying that it would help ease her from the pain of whatever ailment she was suffering at the time. It would be an easier fix until they were able to afford the medicines.

Being that she lived this pious lifestyle, she would always refuse their offer. Drinking alcohol was just not something that she was curious about or had any desire to do… up until the evening where she felt she had no other choice because the misery and pain was too great. Desperate for relief, she called them back and begged them for a mixed drink. Of which I do not think that I need to mention was very, very stout.

She enjoyed it, and all the pain just melted away.  I understand that she even got a good night’s sleep that night.

A few days later, she would call upon that same neighbor for another drink. I don’t think it was too long after the first time. But those neighbors were not at home.

I had gone over to their place to watch television with them, and she went on and on and on about how much pain she was in, and she wished the other neighbors were home so that she could just “get a little something”.

Now, I know what you are thinking. No, we did NOT corrupt her into being an alcoholic. Neither did we corrupt her to stray away from the Christian lifestyle that she lived.

When I heard her whining about the pain and heard these wild stories about how she believed she was in the midst of a “spiritual/religious warfare” with her doctor, I finally stopped her from nagging about the religious differences and told her that I had some alcohol at home and offered her some of the VAT 69.

(Note: her doctor at the time was from India, and she didn’t believe that her doctor was a Christian. And why she was so shocked to hear that I had alcohol at home is beyond me. I AM of legal age to purchase and consume alcohol.)

At that time, I probably still had 80% of the bottle left. I came back to her place and gave her the bottle. She thanked me and blessed me and called me her “saving grace, her guardian and protecting angel”.

The bottle was then passed over to her husband where he would pour some of the VAT 69 into some smaller container. Measuring by finger width, he probably took two fingers. Not that much at all. Then she insisted that she pay me for the alcohol.

This would repeat. She would call to see if she could have any of the VAT 69, and that she would pay for it.

Then I started getting $20, $20, $20, $15, and so on.

Eventually, she would  take the rest of the bottle. It was all gone. And she paid for it all.

I paid $45 for the complete bottle. The neighbor would end up paying a total of almost $100.

It was a very profitable endeavor. All in all, she still has her lifestyle. But she quit complaining about her pains, and I got a little richer.


Tonight, I read the most intense, most descriptive, and most emotional blog post that I had ever read in my life. 

The blog post comes from Dr. Froth, author of the blog “Frothtonomy”. Better known by THIS blog as the bassist of SIX MINUTE CENTURY. Personally though, I call him the “Father of Dambreaker’s blog” as I have been reading his for quite some time now and by reading his blog, it had convinced me to start a blog of my own.

The post talks about one of the most personal and difficult times in his life.

I had briefly heard this story before. But never in such vivid detail. I have met him before in person. I’ve seen many of his shows, I’ve met his family, I’ve spent time with him inside of his home, and was even invited to his wedding last year.

I think that his recent post though, explores the one side of him that not a lot of people know. And not a lot of people would think that it would define or describe him, as those fans of SIX MINUTE CENTURY have become to know him as a strong-willed, crass, and profane. As well as extremely funny. That of which, can NOT be left out.

To have read his story would probably shock the pants off of some people, and leave other non-believers into a dizzy spell.

Like I said, I knew a little about this story as he told me face to face one day. And as I read and was able to fill in a lot of the blanks by reading this, I was overwhelmed with so much emotion and passion that I simply began a deluge of tears and crying that I could not control.

I had only read one-fourth of the story and I could feel my body tremble. So I began to read it out loud to myself in order to some how distract the rest of my body from doing what is natural and attempting to prevent the tears from coming.

It was unsuccessful.

However I could just imagine how difficult it may have been for him to have to re-live this part of his life in order to tell the story and share it on his own personal blog. Throughout the times reading and hearing my voice narrate, I had a visual sense of “being there” as the story progressed. Even though I knew what the ending was going to be.

But alas, I did not know. I was wrong. And no, I was never REALLY there.

Near the end, Dr. Froth presents a wonderful lesson that he had shared along with his story. And because I was able to get through to the end of the story, I found that message. I found that lesson. And it turned on the light bulb inside of my own head.

Message received.

As I finished up with the last few tears that I shed, in my heart I just have to believe that Dr. Froth know the love and respect that I have for him. Not only as a professional and a musician. But also as a human being and a friend.

I find that “Frothtonomy” has changed my life for good, for the second time. And I am most grateful for that. I cannot say that a lot of people (at least in the recent past) has been able to do that, and more than once!

So I share with you his blog post in the hopes that you too, can learn the lesson that is found within to make YOUR life greater.



“Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either”~ Aesop 

It has brought to my attention that I might, have to recant a previous blog post in which I had told a sad story about a neighbor and had expressed an pre-determined opinion about them.

I was told that the neighbor in which I had previously described as a whore and a prostitute, had left her apartment and was gone off of the property and yet had left her company behind inside of her home and was frolicking with someone who actually IS known to be a prostitute across the street.

So I bolted out of the door, not sure of what I would see or find. When I reached the other side of the complex, I did not see my neighbor at all. But what I DID see was that there was a strange black man sitting on her couch. The front door had been left open and from an angle, I could see directly inside. My neighbor though was nowhere to be found. The information that I received that she was across the street and goofing off in the alley, turned out to either be false or outdated and she had moved on somewhere else. But the fact remained that a strange man was inside of her home.

Naturally, it is none of my business of who goes in and out of her home and who she selects to have as a house guest. However in this case, she had left herself prone to his will. He could have either stolen something or destroyed her personal property. Anything was possible.

I did call the police.

To my amazement, there were two policemen on the property and getting ready to investigate the unit within five minutes of the completion of the telephone call. But since there was no crimes being committed at the time of their presence, they were in and out and gone in under three minutes.

Sounds awful, I know. But hey, they were here in almost no time at all. That had actually made me feel better. As the policemen had left, I noticed when I went by to hang out at her neighbor’s place, the strange man was STILL there. He was talking on the telephone, excited and spirited. Someone who had escorted me across the property said that he could hear the strange man scream about how someone called the law on him.

By the time I had returned home, which was a full 90 minutes later, that strange man was STILL THERE!!! I could hear sounds of a conversation, but could not make out any intelligible words. He was still alone. That neighbor that we have deemed to be a “whore” still hadn’t come home.

Even though this man might not have been doing anything suspicious or illegal, what is the problem is that the resident, my neighbor, abandoned him inside of her apartment. And that’s against the lease…. I think.

This calling the police that I have done against my neighbor for the first time in probably a couple of years got me to think about what I was doing and what I had done.

I know that this woman has the police called on her a lot. And its done by her close and next door neighbor. But really, what is it exactly that she is doing that is causing everyone who lives here to want her to be evicted by management?

Is it because she has a weird STD and is still having sex with strange men or is it because she is becoming a complete irritant towards her neighbors and others who live here? 

There’s nothing illegal about her having sex. She is definitely of age to be sexually active, and an adult and old enough to make her own choices. It’s definitely not against any rules here. Yes sure, there are people who believe that what she is doing is immoral. But there are some questions raised from neutral parties about this manner.

Her next door neighbor has constantly called the police and turned in reports to management about her activities after office hours. Complaints that would stack up several miles high.  It has come to the point where she no longer desires to call the police because she has done it so many times and she feels that nothing is getting done about it.

But I personally have NEVER seen her in the midst of these alleged activities that others have claimed she has involved herself with, in the last twelve months.

She feels harassed and I am started to believe in that. If she is making so much noise when she is having sex and keeping up her next door neighbor, then why haven’t the other neighbors on the other side of her or in back complained as well? Where are the voices of others who can verify that she is in the middle of all of this illegal activity?

There’s always two sides of any story. And unfortunately when I wrote about her before, I did not have nor consider her side. Plus the fact that I never have been a witness to any of the allegations brought on by her next door neighbor.

I do know that she is an alcoholic. I do know that she is taking prescription drugs. I do know that I have seen her keeping company of men that of ill repute. But I’ve never witnessed anything that would be considered illegal.

It is scary that she has so many strangers coming in and out of her home. That to me, is a safety issue for others as they could easily go to another apartment building and steal something, break something, or harm someone. But management cannot evict her just for having company. Management cannot tell her that she cannot have visitors.

And when something happens that is legit, and the police must be notified… those who have called (which are only a hand full of people) fail to take all the information and don’t bother to even get a case number and have that report given to management.

Those who have repeatedly called the police on this woman never have anything to back up their claims when they report their stories and issues with the apartment manager. And with no case number or name of the officers on duty who came to investigate, it just ends up being a bunch of “he said/she said”.

I did report tonight’s events to the police only because I DID SEE it.


If they TRULY wanted her to get help, or just be told to leave, they need to be doing a better job than what they are and what they have been doing.

Thinking about this woman and HER side of things, I can see why she thinks she is being picked on. And the reality is that’s all it is. Its not pro-active to get her help. Nor does it help them in their desires to have her removed. She’s living a lifestyle that anyone can see is detrimental to herself, and possibly towards others.

But what she does isn’t illegal. With the exception of the times in which police were called for the smell of marijuana coming from her home. And by the time the police showed up back then, the odors were gone.

It is never a dull moment living here.



Lately, I have been reading these articles about what has been going on nationwide between state and law enforcement and the FBI to crack down on child prostitution in this country. 

It was an effort that took as much as three days in 57 cities.

The exact numbers of the results in arrests vary. But it appears as if over 100 people have been arrested and over 70 teenagers taken off of the streets. This coming from nearly 2,000 law enforcement and FBI officials to take this operation and put it into action.

But again, the actual numbers vary from article to article. So I honestly don’t know how many were arrested in all, and how many teenagers were taken away from the streets.

When I first started reading about it, I was outraged. But as I kept reading other articles, I was becoming more and more disenchanted with the vocabulary.

A majority of the articles were using the term that they “rescued these children”. And yes, these child prostitutes are no longer out on the streets. They are no longer exposed to the dangers of criminal society. But are they truly rescued?

For some of these children, they have been abused and forced to work in the streets. In other cases, these children have run away from home and just are looking for a quick way to earn some money so that they have a place to stay and something to eat. And that too, is also sad.

After hearing some stories from other people… adults now… who have suffered sexual abuse as a child, I can tell that the scars are still with them. And it is a constant struggle for them to carry on day to day. And I stop to think about these children who were involved in this operation, and the abuse and scars that they carry and will carry for the rest of their lives. And that is why the term “rescued” bothers me. 

There are two topics (or subjects) that we as a functioning society get so angry when we hear that they have been abused. And that is children and animals.

I feel so bad for these children who have been involved in all of this. And whether or not it was because of their own choice or that they have been forced into the lifestyle or put into sex slavery, its still wrong!

The scary thing is that even that this operation is beginning to celebrate its efforts and their hard work, the question remains of the teenagers that were taken into custody- what will law enforcement do with them?

Will they be arrested or will they just be sent off to live under someone else’s custody? And the scariest question of all: Will they only go back to the streets and continue on with their lives of prostitution?

I certainly do not have the answers to all of this. I cannot even say that I have much of an idea or opinion of how I feel this situation now should be handled when it comes to the health and welfare of these children.

The other thing about this operation that caught my attention is that it was referred to as “Operation Cross Country VI”. That means, this operation has happened six times! And I do not know what the results of the previous five investigations were. It is however, sad that this kind of thing seems to be one of those ugly crimes that will never go away, no matter how many people are arrested and put into jail.

Just before I began to write this post, I read commentary from someone that their opinion to fight this crime against children was to legalize prostitution. It is already legal in the states of Nevada and Rhode Island (with some circumstances surrounding it), but their opinion was to go across the board. And if that was done, then there would no longer be a need to prey on the innocent and young because sex could happen between two adults and those who become more or less “customers” won’t feel the need to search out these children. I do not know how that entirely works however.

But our children are out there. Those who are actual missing children & runaways. I can only hope that we as adults and parents can take care of our children to do the best that we can to protect them. Because honestly, if we were to find out that OUR children were involved in such a lifestyle- we would be pissed off!


Blog Giveaway!!!

Posted: June 24, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

On the 20th of June of this year, I noticed that I had reached what I am calling a “milestone”. 

My view stats had reached 20,000 views.

I was thrilled. So much so, that I have in celebration have decided to have a giveaway as a way to say “thank you” to all of the readers of this blog.

December 2011… I reached 5,000 views.  February 2012… I reached 10,000 views. April 2012… I reached 15,000 views. And now 20,000 VIEWS!!! WOOHOOO!!!!

I know that a lot of posts are viewed because someone is searching for something specific. And I am also aware that others have come across this blog because of people doing image searches.

So entering this giveaway is going to be fairly simple. The rules are as follows:

  1. Be a subscriber/follower of this blog.

  2. Write a comment on this post. Not any other post but this one will be considered for your entry. For one, tell me how you came across this post. Whether it is because you ARE subscribed or an Internet search, whatever it may be. And then the other half of the comment, write anything you want. But be eloquent, don’t just write one or two words. Write something that will capture my attention!! If you do not say how you found this blog post, your entry will not count.

  3. Comments must be submitted BEFORE 11:59 PM CDT on the 31st of July, 2012.

So you have plenty of time!! This will also allow me some time to figure out exactly what I will be giving away. Right now, I am considering a gift card. But if anything better comes up that I can give away, I will do that. But since I am not Oprah Winfrey, my budget won’t allow for $100,000. I will promise you that if a gift card is to be given away, it will be for at least $25. Perhaps more if I can fit it into my budget.

That’s it!

For those of you who are already following/subscribed, you are already half way there.

The winning comment will be randomly selected. If you are still subscribed/following when the winner is chosen, YOU WIN. It will not matter if you know me in person or not. No favoritism will be given into consideration for this giveaway. So marriage proposals, although fascinating and curious, will not count. Nor will they give you any better chances of being selected as the winner. GOOD LUCK!!

And as always, I appreciate everyone who has read or commented or subscribed and followed my blog. I appreciate your support as well as your feedback.

“Memory… is the diary that we all carry about with us.”~ Oscar Wilde 

If you are a fan of or have seen many episodes of the television comedy series, “The Big Bang Theory”, then you know of the character of Dr. Sheldon Cooper who from time to time will comment (or usually, correct others) on his eidetic memory.

Eidetic memory is ability to memorize the pictures in the smallest details. A man having such kind of the memory provides the projecting of the visual picture on the inside screen. Then the received image is read and analyzed. A man with eidetic memory can easily operate the buffer located between the visual channel and the rest of thinking organs. The pictures in this buffet of the common people are lightened up only for a moment and then dispersed, transferring the information further into the brains. An Eidetic keeps the pictures and can call them making the mind to analyze the information again.

It is known that many artists and draughtsman have ability to memorize the pictures and to reproduce them from memory. It indicates that figurative memory is not inborn but acquired virtue of a man and it can be developed.

The ancient oriental scientists ascertained that all people could be divided into four types – artists and thinkers. The thinkers easily memorize logical information, artists – visual information.

Since Aristotle’s time our civilization worked out its way mainly on development of the left logical hemisphere and it resulted in the loss by the major part of the mankind their ability to use their sub consciousness.

On the level of conscious activity only 10% of our brains is in operation, while subconscious activity counts to 90% of the human potential. Logical strategies of thinking use only small part of our abilities.

Found in an extremely small portion of the population, photographic (eidetic) memories continue to amaze and inspire. This phenomenon is often found in young children, however, most people lose this ability by the time they reach adulthood. Some speculate that this occurs because of a shift from visual to verbal memorization techniques. Young children tend to use pictures or images they’ve seen to recall information, but as they become more adept at speaking, they begin to use actual words to memorize things. For instance, when studying for a test or giving a presentation,  simply memorizing a few key words that will help remember everything one needs to know. In contrast there were monks that lived during the Middle Ages that made their memories better by envisioning images in their minds that would serve as a connection between unrelated information, and apparently this method allowed them to remember vast amounts of knowledge.

However, with each time that I hear that phrase of “having an eidetic memory” I often wonder whether or not I qualify in this case.

Whenever I am around my own family, I will come up with memories from the past and it would seem as if I am the only one that would remember the event ever occurring. And each member of my immediate family gets their minds blown by how much detail that I can remember from each event that is being discussed.

And even if one or more of them remembers what I am talking about in general, they do not recall or remember the more specific details.

Let me share with you a story to work as an example of this:

During the Christmas holiday of 2007, my family and I were all together around the table going through old things. Things that my parents had assumed that belonged to each of my siblings and I. For the most part, they got it right. But when it came time for really old photographs, my step-mother had actually wrote on the back of the photograph that I my younger brother was standing next to my older brother with their arms around one another’s shoulders.

This was not true.

Whom she thought was the older brother, was actually me. In the photograph, it was my younger brother and I.

There was a curtain in the background, which was the curtain to the sliding glass patio door that we had when I was growing up in my birthplace of Arkansas.

My younger brother and I were wearing matching white t-shirts and I had this goofy ass look on my face as I attempted to look like I was “growling” at the camera. I did that as a child because at the time, my teeth were a little pointed and I always think that I looked like a vampire. So I was trying to growl at the vampire like I thought at the time, that a vampire would do.

When I had explained all of this, there was not a sound in the room. Everyone was totally speechless. Up until the point where my father finally spoke up and said, “You and that steel trap memory of yours!!”. Unfortunately, the rest of that conversation wasn’t as lively and fun as I had hoped. I wasn’t trying to show off or anything. I was simply stating that I remember when that photograph was taken, and no… the other person in the photograph was me and not my older brother.

And this probably serves me well as I have in the past written about some wild stories in my life. My memory is strong and I do remember a lot of details about specific people, places, things, and events.

But does that mean that I have an eidetic memory? Or even a photographic memory? I cannot say for sure.

I know that there are some small tests online that a person can take to see if whether or not their memory is a photographic memory. I have not bothered with them though.

As an added bonus: the earliest memory that I do have was crawling on the floor in the kitchen, staring upwards at a calendar on the wall that was above the trash can. It was 1978.

A lot of people that I get to share my life stories with, particularly when it deals with my family or people that I have known when I was growing up as a child often suggest that I write a book about my life experiences and memories. I doubt that anyone would buy it.

The more and more that I watch “The Big Bang Theory”, the more and more I hear this term or phrase. It gets me to think of whether or not I fit that description. I’ve not made up my mind to decide on whether or not I want to pursue the truth on this matter. I just really don’t want to lose some of the memories that I do have as a child.


“All I want to do is speed, speed.”~ Miki Gorman 

This evening, the rest of the hustle and bustle of people coming home in rush hour traffic provided nearly an hour and a half of unusual entertainment.

This all came about because apparently over the weekend, I had missed a lot of criminal activity going on across the street and in the alley across the road.

Now I live in a gated community and that is  security for the people that live here…. if you want to call it that.

But in this alley has been reports by my neighbors of prostitutes having sex, drug deals happening, and plenty of intoxicated people trying to stay off the streets and not get caught in public.

I told the neighbor that when these things were going on, to call me. I wanted to see this for myself. Honestly, sometimes its hard to believe. It seems as if the police are constantly being called by someone, my neighbors in particular, for all kinds of things that happen during the night and especially during the weekend.

I figured that if I saw it for myself, then I could be someone else that would be constantly calling for help to make the presence of police grow in order to keep ourselves safe from these people who are doing drugs, having sex, and other activities and causing concern for the neighbors and their safety.

After doing some research, it was shown that my neighborhood alone had over 143 crimes committed. From property damage, break ins, assaults, and everything in between. All of that happening in ONE month. And a large part of those crimes happening directly across the street.

I’ve not been involved in any of these assaults, or been a victim of one in a long time. Thankfully. And I hope to never be in one ever again.

So then around 6:00 PM, I received a telephone call from one of the neighbors. They were telling me about how they had purchased this movie on DVD called “Nuns & Guns”. From the verbal description I was getting, it sounded like a T&A flick.  But then the neighbor abruptly hung up on me because they had seen the police trying to stop a city bus and get it turned around.

Then another neighbor called and said something was going on and that the police were everywhere. So I went down to the other side of the property and I was being told that a vehicle had hit a woman and her two small children. The police was busy diverting traffic through a grocery store parking lot to get to around the intersection in which this unfortunate accident had happened.

It was apparently bad enough that they had a policeman in the middle of the street, trying to get cars away from the scene. Myself and the neighbors would find it amusing that some of these drivers were trying to take things into their own hands and get around a parked city bus on their own terms, while ignoring the direction of the police. These people were stopped and given citations. And multiple ones at that!!

After a while, we would yell at people walking along the sidewalk to see if they knew anything from our side of the gate. We had been told that there was a mother that was hit by a vehicle and she had two small children with her. We also had been told that there was fatalities, saying that the mother and her two children were killed.

We all stood there, hoping and praying for the best. We couldn’t see the crime scene from being on property. But none of us was stupid enough to interfere with a crime scene… just to see what had happened.

We continued to watch and shake our heads at people getting pulled over and getting citations for their being impatient, as well as their stupidity.

Meanwhile, I sat there in silence thinking about my own experiences with traffic accidents that I was personally involved with.

In the 90’s, I was sitting in the passenger seat and this guy was noticing that he was going too fast, so he hit the brake hard enough that his vehicle thought that it was coming to a stop and the passenger side airbag decided that it wanted to make out with me. So I got punched in the face by it.

Then around December of 2007, I was again in the passenger seat of my (then) girlfriend’s car at a red light. We were having a fight about whether or not to see a display of Christmas lights on display in a local park. A inebriated man in a truck came up from behind and hit us. It did several thousands of dollars of damage to her car that was only two years old. We sat there and waited for the police and we did go to the hospital to check to make sure that we were okay. Both of us ended up on a butt load of pain killers and she missed a day of work. And needless to say, when Christmas rolled around we were still kind of banged up.

But this traffic accident that happened earlier today mostly reminded me of when I was a child and I was walking home in my neighborhood to make sure that I was in the front yard before the street lights came on. I was tired and sat down on the curb only four houses away from home and this driver came barreling around the corner and narrowly missed me and a mailbox. It was the first time that I would EVER give a report to the police because “I almost got hit by a car”. 

I remember getting up and started to cry. By the time I got home. The entire neighborhood, complete with kids and their parents were all in my family’s driveway, and a policeman was surrounded by everyone. They had heard about this kid that almost got ran over, and I announced that it was me.

So then the policeman asked me questions like what color was the car? Could I remember the license plate? What did the driver look like? And so on.

It was very scary for me to have gone through that because I started to freak out about the fact that I was going to have to go to court and “tell on this guy” in court, and I would miss school and everything.

My father instead, went to court. And to this day I don’t understand how or why that happened instead of me going.

But then again, I was only six years old when this had happened.

I watched the late night news tonight. As predicted, they had covered the accident. I was relieved to hear the reports that the mother and two children were sent to the hospital, and they did NOT have serious injuries. So the information that we received about them being killed was incorrect. I was happy to hear it, and hope that the mother and her two children will recover from this real soon.

But it does raise questions with my other neighbors about just how this had happened. A LOT of people around here jaywalk. They ignore crosswalk signals and what not. But one commented that the crosswalk, even if someone hit the button to activate it, the signal doesn’t last very long at all.

So the mother either was jaywalking with her children, or just didn’t have enough time to get to the other side of the street before this happened. Of course, we who live here will never really know the truth. None of us was an eyewitness to the actual accident when it happened. We just noticed the flurry of police officers and police vehicles in the area. Meanwhile, trying to get three city buses turned around and still direct traffic and divert them to go another route and away from the crime scene itself. And of course, a lot of people got in trouble for doing their own thing.

That was the excitement of the day. I guess “Nuns & Guns” will have to wait for another day.





“I have always been an admirer. I regard the gift of admiration as indispensable if one is to amount to something; I don’t know where I would be without it.”~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld 

For the second time in about a year and a half, I’ve been the object of someone’s secret admiration.

Oh the pressure!!

I had a note waiting on my front door last night. Expressing their deep and secret attraction to me. And throughout the night, I could not figure out on my own who this might have come from. I’ve been through it twice now.

However, I wouldn’t have to go and put on my Sherlock Holmes jacket because I had tossed the note aside last night and went to bed. When I showed my face this morning, a FEMALE came up to me and asked, “Did you get that note on your door last night?”

I think that I was feeling relieved as it could have been a man. But I got lucky, so to speak.

She gave herself away. However, in a weird and uncomfortable effort to not offend her, I told her that I had received no such note. I also reminded her that this was a “bad neighborhood” and even the residents here are quite in everyone’s business all of the time. So I explained that perhaps maybe someone took it so that they could know what was going on.

And yes I know, I probably should have confirmed it with her that she was the one. But because I told nobody about it… how would she know? And of course I know, I know… I should have told her that I was not interested. But the way I handled it was the way I handled it.  I will find the best way to tell her that I am not interested.

When she had left, I asked one of my neighbors if she had been talking about me a lot in recently in the past few days. And they had said that she had been. And that she would always smile and then get lost in her thoughts. That was also a clue for me to know that it was her.

So the secret was exposed. But the first time, it took much longer than overnight.

The last time I had a secret admirer write me a note, it took nearly two weeks to figure it out. I finally was able to when I was given a handwriting sample of a woman and I was able to match it.

But because of the language within the note, it had me guessing for a while. I had only told about four people about this first time, and I suppose it became a game for them (not for me) to see whether or not they could figure out the mystery and discover who it was.

Words like, “You are such an amazing man. You make me smile whenever you are in the room. I would ask you out, but I am from the old school and believe the man should ask me out, and I hope that you do one day. If not, I would love to be great friends.”

Certain words and phrases were clues as to who the person’s identity could have been. I had only two guesses of who it might have been. And of the initial two guesses, one of them was the right person. I even had gone up to her and teased about how it was HER that wrote the note. She was convincing when she was in full denial when I was accusing her of writing the note.

It had pieces of mint chocolate inside of an envelope inside of an envelope that was poorly sealed together.

But as I said, I finally figured out the person who had wrote it by comparing how the writing was similar. For the first person though, I never said a word to her. I never came up to her and said, “I KNOW you wrote the note. I know it was you.” No… I did not do anything. And I just laid low for about a week and kept quiet about it. 

It was a resident who lives here who is about twenty years my senior.

Not only did I figure it out in about two weeks who it was. I also figured out why she had written the note in the first place.

For those of you who do not know me on a personally, I use terms of endearment frequently. I had started to use them with the residents here…. JUST to get them to smile. Because you never know around here, someone might be feeling bad and sick or having a bad day, and a smile actually would make it all better.

So at the time, I had been notorious for greeting someone, for example: “Good Morning, GORGEOUS!”.. yeah, totally notorious for it. And yes, it was Mission Accomplished because in the end, it made people smile. And some of them even laugh about it.

The woman who wrote the first note is more of a shut-in neighbor. And she began to crawl out of her shell. Without really knowing what her story was as to why she always stayed indoors, I just was doing the same thing whenever I saw her in the community room. At the time it was either “GORGEOUS” or “GOOD LOOKING”. I recall several times that she would cover her face in embarrassment and just smile.

I believe that because of how I was treating her and the unintentional flirty nature of my speech, she probably was seeing something in me that didn’t really exist.

But that was a long time ago. At least for me it was. And yes I laugh my head off about it now. In these two cases, I do not believe that I had/have anything to worry about. It was a harmless crush.

And because of note #2, it reminded me of note #1- so I decided to share a laugh with you, the reader about note #1.

This most recent note you might be wondering about? It was plain and simple:

“I think you are funny. Are you with anyone? Check YES or NO.

Seriously! It was one of “those kinds”. Even if I checked YES or NO, who the heck would I give it to? I have no idea. But when the woman came up to me the following morning and inquired, she exposed herself and I knew. It was someone’s care giver. And I’m just not into that kind of thing.


Today is Father’s Day in the USA. 

So HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all those men who are fathers.

And with that said, here comes a rant!

All throughout the day, I had seen many posts on Facebook, talking about today being for “mothers who do double duty” or “mothers who have to take on the roles of both parents”. This disturbed me greatly.

These kinds of posts were on the verge of being so influential to take away from the genuine meaning and celebration of Father’s Day.

Now, I understand that in today’s society there are a lot of mothers in the world who are single parents. Divorce, separation, and other causes for the father to be absent from a child. Including those who are deadbeats and scum of the earth who don’t even deserve their children. HOWEVER, that doesn’t give any right or meaning to cheapen the holiday set aside for fatherhood.

There is already a holiday set aside for celebrating motherhood. In the USA, that comes in May. And that holiday came to the USA many, many years before there was a Father’s Day, which comes in June.

So the June holiday is not… I repeat, NOT … “Mothers Day II”. This also would include any false notion that Mother’s Day is a more important holiday than Father’s Day. After all, there ARE a few “deadbeat mothers” out there in the world too!

And of those men who are not in their children’s lives, it doesn’t mean that they are any less of a father or parent. Even if they never spend a single second in their child’s lifetime. Even with today’s technology in 2012, it still takes Two to Tango.  So it is my opinion that these kinds of post take AWAY from the importance of celebrating fatherhood, and it rips apart the joy that men who are fathers,  can feel. Those being the men who ARE there for their children 24/7.

As I read from an author friend of mine:  “It’s one 24-hour period. Get over it”.