“Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.”~ Unknown
Here I am, avoiding the Academy Awards as if it is contagious with the plague or something, and a riff from the band Disturbed comes out of nowhere into my head. It translated from my brain through my arms and into my thumbs where I let it loose with tapping on the desk with my thumbs.
Suddenly the telephone rings. And someone’s asking me to keep the noise down.
Um, really?? WHAT?!?
I was using thumbs. Not actual drum sticks or anything major. My very own thumbs.
Then the suggestion comes that I should sit here and play with bubble wrap to really annoy the neighbors.
You can read about another noise complaint from the neighbors by searching my blog post “Paper Bag Activity.”
Enter August of 2009.
That summer I had a lot of deliveries come to me wrapped in bubble wrap or tucked inside bubble mailers. Whether it was medical or from eBay. I had a nice collection of various types and lengths of bubble wrap lying around everywhere.
And then the genius struck from within.
I lined it all up like my very own Slip-N-Slide and just started to roll over everything in the wheelchair. Backwards and forwards. Over and over until there was nothing more to pop.
Then I grabbed each individual piece and pinched and twisted what remained left to pop.
Good wholesome CHEAP entertainment for a solid 13 minutes!!!
An hour after everything was turned into rubbish, I had a knock on the door.
They stated that the neighbors had reported hearing shots from a M1921 Thompson submachine gun. With their own sidearms drawn but placed behind their backs, they asked for permission to enter and look. But they found NOTHING!
Let me ask you people: Where in the hell am I gonna get a Tommy gun?? IT WAS BUBBLE WRAP!!!!!!!!!!!
For as many “pops” as they evidently had heard coming from my apartment and for it go 13 minutes, there honestly should have been nothing left of anything inside IF I was firing a Chicago Typewriter.
Al Capone would have been proud.
I realize that sounds have higher amplification because there are no carpets in my home. Nor do I have a lot of objects that could absorb a lot sound that goes on, but seriously… I just don’t know where these neighbors are coming from.
Granted that they are different people now than they were in 2009. But their damned Vulcan hearing and their wild fantasies and flashbacks to years long gone. Such imaginations!!!
But then on the other hand, I suppose it would work in my favor if something actually were to happen, God forbid.