A Risk In The Balance

Posted: April 15, 2013 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

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“At a time when we’re having to take such difficult decisions about how to cut back without damaging the things that matter the most, we should strain every sinew to cut error, waste and fraud.”~ David Cameron

My heart and prayers go out to those people effected by the events that transpired in Boston, Massachusetts today.

I sit here this evening with four days left before the birthday bash for Chuck Williams of SIX MINUTE CENTURY. I have yet to even buy my bus ticket and usually I would have had that done by now.

But about a week ago, I became sick. And its a long and gruesome process to feeling better. I have to take things day by day.

Sufficed to say that Saturday and Sunday were very good days where there was not a lot to contend with. Today however just wasn’t up to par with the past weekend. And I still have that decision to make whether or not to go to Houston this Friday evening.

The thing about Friday night shows is that it always comes up so quick. And I cannot explain it but Saturday shows they just arrive.

I know that I won’t be 100% by Friday. That’s a given. But I keep thinking that in the back of my head that IF this Friday could be like this past weekend then I won’t have much of a problem. However I am not assured of that to happen.

I could medicate the hell out of myself with medicine, but I won’t be as clear and “all there” so to speak. But if I pass on this weekend, it will be the second time I have missed the birthday celebration for lead singer Chuck Williams.

Last year was just a tragic time as I had lost my brother-in-law. I think a better way to define it was bad timing. It just wasn’t something that I had any control over.

But will my going to Houston this weekend cause me to pay a price that I truly am not able to afford? Had I been asked this question either last Saturday or Sunday, I would have told you that I had NO problems whatsoever.

I also don’t have the plans for a possible option B in place as far as traveling back home as I was offered a ride from one of my colleagues. I’m just not feeling 100% on that either. Perhaps I need more faith.

It just really stinks because over the past couple of years I have become really good friends with Chuck Williams. His birthday celebration is actually ON his birthday. How cool is that?!??

Not to mention that I will get some face time with Dr. & Mrs. Froth which always something that I look forward to. And there will be others there that I enjoy hanging out with. Including someone that I just met last month at the WELL OF SOULS show that I actually have some kind of curiosity and interest in getting to know better… without saying where its going to go from here.

I hate the feeling of not going because of my illness because it does in fact feel like I am letting people down. Even though I am aware that isn’t the truth. Disappointed people? Sure. We are all human.

So I ponder the implications of going while trying to recover. Whether to go and heavily medicate myself to a point where I can manage pain. And whether or not that will bite me in the butt in the end.

I am sure that the Centurion family would tell me that if I am just not feeling up to it, then not to worry. But I worry still regardless. The least I can do for my friends is to show up. But there would be some who could argue that if I am not 100% … then I am useless to my friends.

As I said, today was so very difficult for some reason. But I still have just a small window to figure it out.

 

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