Cataglottism

“Give me a kiss, and to that kiss a score; Then to that twenty, add a hundred more: A thousand to that hundred: so kiss on, To make that thousand up a million. Treble that million, and when that is done, Let’s kiss afresh, as when we first begun.”~ Robert Herrick

Now that I have your brain swimming and your basic carnal desires caught on fire. Shall we kick it up a notch??

Cataglottism. Basically, french kissing. But not JUST french kissing, its with power and force. 

Had it not been for the wonderfully beautiful Jessica Ward, I wouldn’t have ever come across these two vocabulary words. Makes making out more mature and fun, don’t you think?!?

Of course if you ask a favored guy or gal if she’d like to experiment in cataglottism, you may or may not getting at the very least interested on what kind of word just fell out of your mouth.

But I have to be honest, how to pronounce this word baffles me at the moment. Perhaps I’ll learn it soon.

So yeah, now you know what sucking face and kissing and making out (with tongues) is all about. And now we all have the knowledge of how to discuss it in a far more mature manner than ever. 

So get out your duck faces… and offer up a smooch. Who knows, it could lead to the use of tongues. And quite possibly, the beyond??

 

 

Basorexia

“Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.”~ Bernard Meltzer

Hang on to your hats and put the children to bed. It is time for a sloppy wet vocabulary lesson. One that you soon won’t forget.

And it is brought to us all by our simple primal urges of simply wanting so badly to make out with another person.

Yep, as you can see in the graphic, its the strong craving or hunger for kissing.

LA-LA-LA-LA- …… well that’s only funny if you could hear/see me flipping my tongue up and down. And some of you would just think that I’m being gross. (But I can assure you that for those who do, you have never kissed me. So there.)

So yes, if you are right now experiencing the strong craving or hunger to kiss someone, you are experiencing basorexia, and thus you are basorexic.  

Basorexic… sounds dirty. Sounds sickly. But really? Just the beginning stages of downright HORNY!!!!!!!!

So go find someone to kiss, and take care of what ails you.

The next blog post will be just as spicy if not more! More vexing vocabulary from the Dambreaker coming your way.

Meet Laila

“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.”~ Abdul Kalam

This is Laila, from Norway.

Yes…. Norway.

Her story is fantastic. Probably the best story I’ve told so far!

She is one hardcore fan of Céline Dion. I mean, its quite obvious from the photo of her here.

Céline Dion however, has left her grazing pasture to go back to her home land and perform in Montreal this evening, on the 27th of July.

Laila became so excited when she heard the news months ago. She planned her vacation with her husband to go to Canada so she could attend the concert, and maybe … JUST MAYBE …. get her chance to finally meet her personal idol.

I remember her struggling while making the decision to go to Canada. Laila had always dreamed of Céline to come to Norway, or some other European country that was close enough and that Laila would finally get her wish.

Laila says that she has been a fan for the past 25 years. Céline’s career started just over 30 years ago. So she’s been a fan for a VERY VERY LONG TIME. Almost a life time!!!

Soon, Laila could do nothing but count down the days from when she would travel from Norway all the way to Canada. She would wear her t-shirt to promote her campaign to meet her idol. And apparently has had a wonderful time in Montreal.

And then last night……… this happened: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eq6FpwzjUBo&feature=share&list=UUt2nMvBSjzsdoAbsrG4xIcg

Did you see it??

Again, look for Laila in her white t-shirt. Particularly around the 1:00 mark.

HER DREAM CAME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn’t know about it until this morning. It was incredible that I just about cried because I could just imagine how she felt. It had to have been pretty close to the feelings I had when I first got to meet SIX MINUTE CENTURY.

I do not know where this is, I do not know who took the video, all I know is that I could see her in the video, and I nearly screamed.

It was so incredible to hear that she was able to finally see her idol face to face, be in the same room with her idol. And even get her photograph taken with her, and an autograph.

And I think that I became so happy for her, because I had been hearing for the longest time of OTHER so-called “hardcore fans” saying to me that it would never happen. Just because she was from Norway.

And I thought that was bullshit.

So yes, I’m behind Laila 100% on this. And you know what? Laila never gave up. She fought and fought and fought and kept dreaming. And it paid off for her.

Meanwhile, those same “fans” who said to me personally that it would never happen, are still waiting for it to happen to them.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. DREAMS COME TRUE.

Laila was smart enough to be vigilant and NEVER surrender, and NEVER give up. I admire Laila for having the courage to do just that….. never give up on her dreams. Even though she was surrounded by people who were telling her no.

We all could learn a lesson from Laila. About holding on to our dreams.

She even wrote about it in her own blog. Although I am sure she was pretty excited and still buzzing with feelings when she composed it.
http://cellyd5.blogg.no/1374940262_good_things_happened_.html

From reading this, it sounds like she knew better to listen to those who were negative.

Good for her.

Ladies & Gentlemen: NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE, NEVER EVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!

 

Revelations In Pain

“People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.”~Will Rogers

It has been a very wild past couple of days. I’m not bragging or anything. I am just saying its been quite an experience.

I’ve gone through some heartbreaking experiences. Things that I won’t go into detail about, but with every experience that I have had that are similar to what I just went through, there’s always been a rainbow at the end of the storm. And that rainbow is the knowledge of what I did wrong, what others did wrong, and how I attributed to what did go wrong.

So the other day I was speaking with someone and I was expressing my hurt, anguish, and disappointment.

Come to find out that my misery was coming from personal disappointment in other people. I had been placing far too much faith and trust in them, and they turned around and broke it by doing something stupid.

For anyone else, they probably would look at this case and think that these people that I put so much trust in, were complete idiots.

So then why did it hurt so much with great disappointment? Others were doing virtually the same thing, but it wasn’t as consequential as the previous group.

Then came in the revelation. The lesson important to life: The ones that we actually care about and love dearly, are the ones that hurt us the most.

Damn. That was deep!!

The ones that we care about the most, are the ones that hurt us.

Through my previous agony, I realized that this was spot on. The people that I loved, were hurting me the most. Why?? Because whatever they were thinking, they were wanting to “help” me or “protect” me. And therefore did and said some really stupid shit, in my opinion. Stupid enough to hurt my feelings to the core.

I’m becoming better and better at recognizing veils of pain and insults. I’m not saying that I am a professional, but I am getting better at detecting them.

And so those who were disappointing me were attempting to veil their harsh words.

The other thing that makes it true is the fact that when we regard certain people in such high esteem (or even place them up on that pedestal) then we crumble within when we find out that those who we regard so highly does something so low. We believe that they know better, and therefore wouldn’t do it. And then when they actually do it in our faces, your faith begins to shake, and in some cases begins to crack and fall apart.

But these are the same people that will actually hurt you because they care so much about you. Just as much as you care about them. Unless its unbalanced. Then you are just a stalker.

And besides…… if someone does something to you that was wrong, and you don’t care that much about them, it is not going to hurt as much. Why??? Because you do not care and will not take the time to allow your emotions to get tangled up in pain.

I’ve had these past few days to think about who has done what to me and why. And it just comes down to these two main points. That those who care about us the most are the ones who hurt us. And those who we care about the most, hurt us for what they often do.

Its a hard lesson. But I think it is an important lesson to learn.

500

Wow. Ladies and gentlemen, you just have no idea how impressive this number is for me.

THIS IS MY 500th BLOG POST on Dambreaker.

And to think that it came in less than two and a half years since I started it.

A lot of ups and downs and a lot of posts that didn’t make sense to a bunch of people and a few that remarkably had changed lives, unbeknownst to me at the time that it happened.

I know that I have some people who read this and they have not subscribed to this blog. To those people, I STRONGLY encourage you to do so, so that you do not miss anything.

I am amazed in the fact that in this short amount of time, I nearly 100 people who have subscribed to this blog and receive each post via e-mail every time I write.

For those of you who are silent readers and for those of you who are subscribed. And for those of you who have no problems leaving comments: I send to all of you my love and thankfulness.

Thank you for making Dambreaker what it is today!!!

 

Conjuring The Conjuring

“Every single moment is a coincidence.”~ Doug Coupland

Okay, for those of you who are  creeped out by things too easily, are superstitious to the max, or otherwise bothered by the uncertain and the unexplained, go ahead and skip this blog post and wait for the next one.

The Conjuring came out in theaters here in the United States today…. with a few exceptions of certain places which it was released a little earlier than today.

So I stuck my nose in it today, trying to make a decision of whether or not to go see this film in the theater or not at some point over the weekend.

I couldn’t sleep much, so I was up and at it around 6:30 AM this morning, still dark… but looking up creepy stories about The Conjuring.

Its supposed to be “based on a true story” but we all know that Hollywood messes that all up and barely bases anything they release on film on what is to be considered true events.

These kinds of stories, the TRUE stories, I always find myself fascinated with.

So ever since this morning, I had been looking up the behind-the-scenes story as to what brought this film in production.

That thing is so creepy!!!!

There seems to be a lot of web articles about the story of Annabell the Doll. Its a older version of Raggedy Ann doll. It was bought in 1970, and weird things started happening with the doll. I was shocked throughout my research today that the doll is still in existence today!!!

And to think that as a child, I had a Raggedy Andy doll given to me for Christmas. Really does make me shiver! A LOT!!!

But I won’t go into a lot of detail and ruin too much about the film because the film is not the point of this blog post.

What happened afterwards IS the focus.

After I realized that I spent ALLLLLLLLLLLLL DAY LONG on this subject, trying to learn more and more and more about the true story behind the film, all I would get is the same story about Annabelle the Doll.

Before I knew it, it was dark outside. I knew that if I continued to research and I found something that creeped me out… it was going to work on my sleep. So that very moment I realized the sun was gone, I stopped looking it up.

I moved on with my evening, ate a few snacks, made a few tasteless jokes on Facebook, wrote back to some e-mails from my e-mail penpal near St. Louis, and even played Angry Birds via Facebook.

The idea and information about Annabelle the Doll went to the back of my mind. But something else popped up that I have NO explanation for. Other than coincidence. Some might WANT to connect it to something not of this world though.  

No matter what level I was playing in the game of Angry Birds, I would always receive the same score. This happened at LEAST ten different times on various different levels.

I had to take a screen cap of it to prove what I am saying was true.

Two stars, three stars, it didn’t matter. The score underneath was ALWAYS the same!!!!

I had to stop playing. Well, I did not HAVE to. I chose to stop.

What do you think about this mess? Is it a coincidence? Is it a sign? Or possibly a warning?

Let me know what you think!!!!!!!!!!! Leave a comment below.

Facebook: A Treasure Trove Of Oddity

“I’ve done nudity. I’m an exhibitionist. It doesn’t matter.”~John Turturro

Some seriously binding lessons were learned today. But I am still processing them as we speak. Therefore when the time comes, I’ll share. But for now, I am more compelled to share some lessons that are good for all of us. Some will be able to relate, others will probably be able to understand.

So let’s get started. A review:

Facebook is a den that is full of exhibitionists and voyeurs.

The Internet is full of bad people. The Internet is also full of good people. Decent people. And of course, its also full of those who are in between. Those who seek the attention of others through their narcissistic ways of operating on Facebook.

The painful part comes in where people are (for lack of a better term) innocent bystanders of this constant nagging and negative behavior.

One person takes a cruise around the world and posts every little step they make whether it be through words or through uploading photographs. Another person decides to update their profile every hour on the hour. All for what?

Attention.

So it becomes a bit hurtful and painful for OTHERS to witness this kind of thing. Basically the person boasting their “good times in life” appears to be doing just that. Bragging and boasting. 

Therefore those people who are now having to sift through relentless posts are grumpy, irritable, and downright pissed off at the person doing the posting.

Its almost the situation of being able to see the forest through the trees. The person doing the posting most likely isn’t doing it on purpose. They aren’t rubbing anyone’s nose in anything specifically. But for those who are able to see the forest…. it most certainly feels like it.

So then, is it what it seems?

Depends on how you look at it. Allow me to show you the other side of the coin. 

As I stated at the beginning of this blog post, Facebook is a “treasure trove” of people who are more concerned about sharing and spreading their lives in every infinite detail with everyone that will listen. Right, wrong, or indifferent.

Nobody is actually forcing you to look at 400 different posts and photographs that were uploaded in under two hours. You actually do have the ability to scroll by them if you do not want to look, or if you do not like what is being posted.

You have the power NOT to sign into your Facebook account if enough people are making you so angry with their actions and words. Narcissism or not, you do NOT have to fall into their webs and read what they have to say, comment on their posts, or even look at them.

If Facebook is causing you so much stress, then why bother signing in when you already know cognitively that it is a huge source of your being uncomfortable and feeling stressed out by what others do or say????

I personally do not believe that social networks ever got things right. These kinds of people who sign up and get an account and just post everything in their lives for the sake of earning attention….. they are always going to flock to these things.  

And if you choose to use them, remember that you have all the power in the world. You have the power to ignore narcissistic behavior. You have the power to ignore those who are just placing their lives on exhibit. And you also have the power to either do or do not operate in the same manner as they do. You have control over what YOU post and upload to social networking sites. Nobody else has that power.

Take back the control in your lives and do not allow the selfish behavior of others on Facebook rule your attitude. Don’t let them make their rules become your rules.

Right, wrong, or indifferent these people are going to post what they will. And as a bonus, like I have always said– They make their own choices, make their own beds. Let THEM lie in it and don’t follow them in.

Take back your sanity. Learn. Live.

Puck Off

Ladies and gentlemen:

We have something new for you.

For the low cost of $20, you can pre-order your very own “PUCK OFF!” t-shirt as you see here.

For a limited time, you can pre-order your very own t-shirt. Orders must be collected by the 4th of August.

The goal is to sell twenty t-shirts in that time.

It is low (for now) so that we can monitor how well this campaign goes for the next few weeks.

If we do not reach our goal, then the t-shirts will not be made and any customers who have placed an order will not be charged.

It fits the perfect hockey fan in this world. And its divinely vulgar. Just like hockey can be at times. Vulgar, but not offensive.

So show your support, pre-order your very own t-shirt today before time runs out!!!

http://teespring.com/puckoff

What Happened?

“I will say again that I have never, and would never, harm a child. It sickens me that people have written untrue things about me.”~Michael Jackson

Korea. 1996.

Michael Jackson is on the HIStory tour. And he’s performing “Earth Song” when he moves over to the front of the stage. He steps on a platform which was a cherry picker and gets lifted into the air with an industrial fan blowing his jacket, shirt, and pants around for dramatics.

REAL COOL STUFF.

But then suddenly out of nowhere this fan shows up. And now he’s soaring in the air along with Michael Jackson. But he’s on the outside of the cage on the cherry picker.

What happens? The fan eats that shit up with a golden spoon. Meanwhile, he endangers both his life and the life of Michael Jackson as the cherry picker wasn’t made for more than one person to be standing on it.

Honestly…. this happened and I didn’t know about it until today.

http://youtu.be/oUaFLC1bVDk

I really have to say that Michael was most likely scared to death for this person’s well-being. He grabbed on to the fan as much as he could until the cherry picker was lowered back down and they were both able to get off of it safely.

Meanwhile the fan just eats it up that Michael Jackson is right there and they are in the air for a while and nobody is able to help them.

At the same time, Michael Jackson showed his true-blue professionalism during the entire incident.  In some miracle, Michael Jackson was able to hang on to that fan’s body so that they didn’t fall to their death and he continued to perform and sing the song until the very end.

Incredible.

Now… Dambreaker’s mind has been blown. So there’s questions.

First and most importantly…… That cherry picker was up in the air. How in the hell did that fan get up there???

This incident happened in Korea. What happened when security was finally able to strip him away from Michael Jackson? Because it took at LEAST four men to do it.

He was he thrown out or was he arrested? Do fans that jump on stage during ANY concert get arrested or just thrown out, if they are caught by security people????

What do the Korean police do with unruly fans that jump on stage? Is it any different than what happens in the USA or across the rest of the world???

Whatever happened to that Korean fan? It was almost twenty years ago that they jumped up there and somehow lived while being suspended in the air.

If someone’s got the real true answers to ALL of these questions. I’m buying them dinner!!!!

 

Autographs

“People still think of me as a cartoonist, but the only thing I lift a pen or pencil for these days is to sign a contract, a check, or an autograph.”~Walt Disney

A huge lesson was learned today about autographs. More specifically receiving them.

I was excited to see that a certain person was offering a deal on autographed 8×11 shots. I say “deal” because they were not free. All in all with shipping and everything else in between, I paid nearly $30 USD for two 8×11 shots that were to be autographed.

And let me go ahead and add a factor of weather that it has been exceptionally warm in temperatures over 100°F(38°C) as well as it should be since it is summer.

But for the past two days, I have been stalking my own damned mailbox for this “opportunity” to come my way. I really hate those e-mails that they send you that talk about approximate shipping dates and when it could APPROXIMATELY arrive and be delivered.

Screw that…. tell me when it WILL BE here! Not when it MIGHT be here.

So finally I believed that these two photographs would arrive today. But our mail was delivered pretty late. Like after business hours late. New kid… what are you gonna do?!?!?!?!?

And I waited for him in that blistering hot heat and sun at the hottest part of the day just so that I could find out if my evening was going to be better or not because I had those autographed photos.

I saw a large white envelope and I guessed that it could be it. I was right.

But before I go on, let me ask this: What part of DO NOT BEND do people do not understand? This was written on both the front and the back of the envelope. It just got wedged right into the mailbox slot. That little fucker.

But I am sitting there patiently, with sweat pouring everywhere on from my body and then the guy just up and takes off without as much as a SEE YA!

Want my autograph, baby??

I reached down to move forward and damn near burned off the palm of my hand because that wheel had been sitting in the sun just long enough for me to notice and scream obscenities.

I grabbed the envelope from my mailbox and came home, feeling relieved after two days of being stuck in high anticipation of its arrival. I entered into the calm of the air conditioning of my home and tended to my hand to see if there was any physical damage. There was none.

Then I slowly and carefully opened the envelope. My mind began to wonder if I should record the action and make a “reaction video” to it all. But this wasn’t exactly of that caliber.

I pulled out the first sheet and it was a receipt. I pulled out the next sheet from the envelope, and it was for the protection of the photographs.

I pulled out the actual photographs and looked.

I then stared. Then I blinked. Then I stared again. Then I blinked. Then I blinked some more.

Oh dear, what have I done?????????

In one corner is the actual autograph. In the direct opposite corner is “Thank you!” written.

Does anyone now believe me about what I have  said about PERSONALIZING an autograph and how it makes it much nicer for the recipient???

There were others that I could have purchased. But now I am pretty sure that if I were to do so, that I would receive the same results, and for what? More money to pay for it.

I learned my lesson. I will take this lesson into consideration if I ever stumble across an opportunity like this where I must purchase an autograph.