“A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.”~ Unknown
Tonight has just been gruesome. Filled with tears and the wonderment of what’s going to happen in the future.
I’ve reached a point in my life where I am going to have to sit down without distraction and decide what is going to be the best decision for my life.
Trust me, I don’t wish this battle on any one.
My sledge hockey career has come to a stop. Based on the fact that I have gotten sick many times or have been broke with no money to go travel to Houston at certain times since the beginning of the 2013-14 season.
To be honest, I have not been on the ice at any capacity since our trip to Houston in May of last year. It has almost been a full year!!
And there has been a lot of personal factors along with that. Outside of failing health.
El Jefe, my wonderful friend and neighbor, passed away suddenly April of last year. He was my solid source of transportation for many seasons. After he died, I was nearly caught in a mess where I would no longer have transportation to/from practices. A few times I was lucky and fortunate enough to be able to catch rides from other teammates or another neighbor with a vehicle. But it got out of hand quickly and got real old fast for those who were driving here to come pick me up. And I had to let that go, so that I wouldn’t ruin the personal relationships I had with them.
Family would seem to be the logical step. But not in an unstable environment. Especially since my brother-in-law died one week later after El Jefe. My sister would not be able all of the time to handle her two children and come and pick me up for practices. Even though she did try last season.
THIS season… practices have been on Sunday mornings at 8:00 AM. And as much as I tried and pleaded and begged to get them to change it to a later time in the day, the team took what was given to them. And that very much was a factor as not too many people were wanting to drive all the way to get me and then drop me off at practice that early in the morning on a Sunday.
Not a lot was in my favor this season. Including the last trip to Houston a few weeks ago where (as I understood) they were going to be watching certain players as they played because so many people wanted to go to Boston in April for the tournament. Someone… is going to be cut. Too many interested players and only a few select spots on the team, according to tournament rules. There’s not ENOUGH players to make a SECOND team to go either.
The fundraising efforts that I attempted to carry out on my own with the help of another and split it… failed. We weren’t even close. So financially, I wouldn’t be going to Boston even if I was in excellent physical condition.
But I am not. It was explained to me that even if I got back on the ice tomorrow, I would have to be in peak condition for tournament play in less than two months. And it doesn’t seem all that possible as I am still unable to get on the ice.
So with all of this being a disappointing season. I do not know if I will ever see the ice this season. And with the way things are set up with the team as they are right now, transportation to/from practices and events … it just isn’t there. Its not in the cards.
Therefore I have been in tears, battling with the thought of whether or not to end my sledge hockey career with the Austin Blades.
This is a heavy burden as I sift through everything and attempt to make these life decisions with a clear mind.