Do Only One Thing

“Throw caution to the wind and just do it.”~ Carrie Underwood

Okay so guys listen up. 

I was privy to talk to a woman who was willing to give up a secret on a simple task of making a woman happy and full of appreciation.

Are you ready for this valuable information???

Do ONE simple thing for her. Just one thing. And it doesn’t even have to be something so expensive or time consuming. Do one simple thing that will let her know that you are thinking about her. 

An e-mail that tells her something. A text message that you are daydreaming about her. A quick voice mail on her busy cell phone that is turned off so that she is not distracted by the ringing during her important part of the day or work.

So I took these things into consideration and tested them out.

The first communication I made with a woman this morning, I sent a text message saying that the skies were clear and the sun was bright but not as bright as she is. It wasn’t much but she LOVED IT! So much did she love it that she expressed herself back in reciprocation in ways that I had never heard her speak to me before. 

I randomly sent a text message to another woman, saying that I could swim in her blue eyes forever. Which is borderline everything in the book …. but you know what??? It made her pay attention to me for the rest of the afternoon until she had no other choice but to end the conversation. But quickly invited me to contact her later. 

One thing guys. Only do one thing. 

Give her a LOVE BOMB if you feel so inclined. 

The thing about it, is that she’s going to see that she’s been on your mind for at least 30 seconds and she’s going to take that into consideration and feel wanted, desired, and appreciated. 

And oh, the bonus points you’ll end up receiving unknowingly. They will remember and they will reward. 

So remember: Do only one thing to capture her attention. And then go from there. Just don’t forget to follow up and keep going!!!!! 

Saying Those Words: The Final Day (And Results Of)

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” ~ A.A. Milne,  author of Winnie-the-Pooh

The moment is gone. She is gone. And now it is Friday evening with the knowledge that I will never see our social services coordinator again.

Another person will come and take her place. Just like the people before her.

The residence, MY NEIGHBORS, altogether collected $295 for her. I think they tossed it into a money order and put it in one of two greeting cards that were set aside for her.

This apparently is the most money that was ever collected for any member of SGC staff who was leaving their position here. And yes, this is saying a lot. Many of us were waiting for her to go to lunch. This morning as I was having my morning coffee, Mrs. Irwin mentioned that she was going to have lunch with two co-workers from which the agency that hired her.

It was going to be a 90 minute lunch. What were they going to do, fire her?? It was her last day of work here.

90 minutes was all that was needed in order to set up the room, put out a spread of finger foods and snacks, decorate a little with flowers and balloons and then sit and wait for her to return back to work in the dark.

She actually arrived a little bit after 1:00 PM and some of the neighbors were getting ants in their pants. But eventually she arrived back to work from lunch and the lights went back off, the door shut, and about HALF of all total residents who live here….. sat in total and complete silence.

The apartment manager was behind it all. And so was Mr. Irwin, her husband. He would show up later and join us for a brief time.

It worked. She admitted that she had convinced herself that she only THOUGHT something was coming, but couldn’t quite say for sure what exactly it would be. All of those neighbors who would have been the perfect candidates for letting the cat out of the bag, either by accident or on purpose, never gave her a clue that we were planning a gathering in the afternoon.

She admitted rather quickly that she became misty-eyed. But she did not actually break down into tears. She was given a plant from the collective group. She also received a nice bouquet of flowers that I know of and the money.

I personally wrote her a poem. Telling her that it is hard to say farewell but that we here on the property would remember her and miss her.

Her response?

“That’s impressive.”

Then someone just jumped on in and bragged that poetry is what I do best. I don’t know why they jumped in like that. Mrs. Irwin knew that I wrote poetry.

The event came to an end and Mrs. Irwin made a point to visit those who were unable to get out of their homes to say goodbye to them.

I told her personally that I would be back and I came home to take off the black suit I had put on. I did see her going along the sidewalk, passing by my front door, but I never chased her down.

I went over to her office and she was still gone. Or so I thought.

She was in the apartment manager’s office behind closed doors with all three members of staff together.

I kept getting looks from our maintenance man. A person who doesn’t have a very high score for resident approval ratings. He never gave me any indication of whether or not they were having a private conversation or just chit-chatting with the door closed. He just kept looking at me like he was privileged and I was an outsider.

It was pissing me off because he kept looking through the window in the door, but would not acknowledge anything about me being there. So I left.

Then a little bit later, no more than fifteen minutes I had received a telephone call that a home health nurse was coming to visit. So I scattered to go back to the office area to do what I had to do and say those words that I hate saying and be able to find closure to the situation.

But when I got into the building, she was gone.

I felt the tears building up. But the wind that was powerfully blowing into my face prevented them from falling down my face. I was asked later by the visiting nurse if I cried but I told her that I almost did but could not.

I never got to say goodbye to her. I did get the chance to give her the poem that I wrote and to take a photograph with her. But I did not get that opportunity to say farewell to her. 

And as you probably can already tell, I am so frustrated and disappointed and actually BLAMING the maintenance man for this missed opportunity. Usually when a door is closed, that means privacy. But he could have given me some sort of indication. And he didn’t. He could have, what a selfish man.

I’m pissed.

I ran outside and looked at the parking space that she had been parking in for the past eight or nine months and it was empty.

She was gone. The apartment manager even told me that she was gone and it was final.

Some will argue that since I didn’t actually tell her goodbye that I don’t have to and that she will come back. I do believe that anything is possible. But for her to come back to visit or whatever is less than favorable. At least for now. Maybe down the road.  

I begin the weekend, angered and hurt and disappointed.

So farewell Mrs. Irwin. You’ve done so much more than what you realize for me and for the rest of us. I am going to miss you.

 

 

 

When The Time Comes To Say Those Words You Hate To Say

“It feels right. But it’s emotional. Saying goodbye to anything you’ve done that long is hard.”~ Angela Ruggiero

The 28th of February, will be our social services coordinator’s last and final day of working with us here at the apartment complex where I live.

She had started to tell this to everyone on a one-on-one basis, knowing that the news was going to spread like wild fire.

She’s been with us for two years. And unfortunately for me, her leaving will be the fourth person who has come and taken over that office and that job and has eventually left.

One retired, one quit, one got fired. This one found a better job opportunity. And yet here I am in my numb state talking about it as it is just beyond midnight and will have the morning and part of the afternoon to see her at her work, in her office. Not really knowing what to say to her other than to wish her well in her future endeavors. But I am not one for typical responses. 

My neighbor tried to pin it on the fact that she’s this hot chick with long red hair. But that was established two years ago when she walked in the door for her first interview and I happened to see her walking up the sidewalk to enter into our community building. It was also established that she was married and had been for many years. And I just don’t play that game of home wrecking.

So for two years, I’ve done what I could to deal with that sort of thing and I believe that I have done my best not to let it get in the way of letting her do her job and whatever else she needed to do.

Yet when you are around someone five days a week, forty hours a week, one cannot help but develop some attachment. Even if its just simply being social and polite and acting like a caring human being. Yes I did find the long red hair attractive on her. No, I didn’t say or do anything really stupid in order to make her freak out or wanna report me to the police or her boss or whatever. I did say some snarky things but I knew that I had crossed a boundary by her reply of either “oh boy!!” or “oh dear!!” None of which had any permanent damage and yes, I was brave enough to tell her that I was sorry during times. And forgiveness was shortly followed. 

But here I am faced with a dilemma that is very much so a personal problem. The farewell. Or as the rest of you call it “The Goodbye Conversation” … even though I freakin’ HATE using that term. What is appropriate? But also what is not going to sound like a standard and cliché response?

With the new job that she took, it does sound like (for her) that it would be a step forward and an improvement. And honestly, we all should do that in our lives and careers. Step and move forward. But it does not sound like much of an opportunity that she would return for a visit any time soon. Much like the person before her. But the person before her actually retired, instead of going to a different job. So the former person has the time, the one who is leaving us today probably will not.

So I hope that soon, everything will be okay and that I won’t sound like an asshole when I am having my last conversation with her …. as a professional. Nobody can say for sure if I will ever have a conversation away from this property and as a person. I do believe however, that anything is possible. I just hope that the possible becomes a probable.

I spoke to a different professional today. I explained that her leaving us is like being in mourning. Those of us (like myself) who got close enough to her. And they said that I was right. Being in “mourning” just plain sucks.. there’s nothing else more to describe it. And I hope that the mourning period for this particular personal loss will not last long.

I am sure that I will write a follow-up blog soon, probably sometime this weekend. Wish me luck!!!!!!!!!

Number 600

Here we are. The 600th blog post of DAMBREAKER.

And I sit here with a blank expression upon my face as fatigue begins to slowly put its strangle hold on me.

600 is a lot of times to write. Its been going on for a little longer than three years. And a handful of people have been watching,reading, and listening since near the beginning.

But since the last resounding landmark of this blog, the number of people who have made that commitment to follow has exploded.

So I have fresh faces and fresh eyes upon here who have been so kind and supportive. And I just will say thank you to them. And of course thank you to those people who have always been there and to those who have fallen upon the path along the way.

I apologize that I have nothing more resounding than this. But understand that there’s nothing bigger in my heart but the love that I have for you all who have decided to follow the blog, for those who leave feedback in the comment section, and for those who share my insanity with others so that many don’t have to feel so bad when they compare my life with their own.

I have no plans of slowing down. I’ve just been trying to trim down how much I use the blog to bitch and moan. It still is regarded as my own personal diary, but now I am sharing it with at least 110 people and many more who are silent and steady readers.

Thank you all for your readership and your support and constant determination to get through whatever bullshit I am spitting out on these pages. Well, not ALL of it is bullshit… but for those of you who know, you get the point.

And so thank you. One and all.

DAMBREAKER is proud to be of your service.

Screwing With Time Warner Cable

“Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?”~ Rita Rudner

This afternoon as I found my eyelids protesting and winning to close, I was heavily startled by the sounds of a crying and ringing telephone. 

As I was actually quite comfy laying there I had decided that I would not move from my escape from the cold weather that blasted its way through this morning and even got colder this afternoon. 

I felt that if it was important then whomever it was calling can either leave a message or call me right back again. 

Then I heard the automated system kick in and the phone call was coming from Time Warner Cable. 

They were calling to tell me that a very serious matter needed to be settled and a change in my status of the account would soon be happening.

A.K.A.– I didn’t pay the bill this month. Ooops!! Slight oversight and mistake. 

So up from the nest that I had created and I went straight to the website to pay the bill once in for all via online payment.

Problem solved.

Until this evening after business hours where yet again Time Warner decided to call. 

I didn’t wanna hear their message about how they were fixing to change the status in my account. I had already paid what was past due AND MORE!

So I answered and then hung up. They called back again.

I knew right then and there that this was another automated message and there was nobody LIVE to speak with. 

So I answered a second time but was as silent as can be. I heard nothing. Not a sound. So I hung up. They called back again. 

That’s when I gave it to them just to see if they would stop the recording and put on a live person. 

When I answered I said “HEY-HO-COCK-BITE-SWEATER-VEST-PINEAPPLE-FARTS-CUM-DROPLETS-BIKINI-SHITS-KAYAKING-TOURIST-SEASON-BALL-SACK-GOT-MOISTURE-TURTLE-TURTLE-PUMPKIN-PIE!!!!!!!”

Whomever it is running the show with the switch board and handling the calls to customers over at Time Warner Cable LITERALLY waited until I had stopped talking before they flipped the switch and the automated message came over the telephone, thanking me for my earlier payment and have a nice day. 

Okay, SOMEONE had to hear all that nonsense since they actually waited for me to run out of things to say.

And someone had to have been busting a gut from all of that. Because honestly, I never gave them a traditional telephone greeting.

 

Sexual Favors Of Law Enforcement

“When your dad’s a cop, calling 911 is really just like calling Dad at work.“~Ryan Reynolds

I’m real close to considering a separate and totally new blog about the stupidity of humanity as it comes to my knowledge and separating everything by state.

I have a feeling that Florida would probably be a full blog with plenty of posts. This would be one of them.

Honestly, how many times have I written in this blog about something stupid happening in Florida?

http://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/6905602-Fla-woman-asks-for-sex-from-cop-dials-911-after-denial/

Thankfully to find out that this woman was very much so intoxicated. I would personally much prefer that they threw every law book in existence at her for wasting safety resources and the time of law enforcement.

But in any case… since a huge majority of my readership/followers are female– after reading the article, enjoy the eye candy.

You’re welcome, ladies!!!!!!!!!!

Cancel the Cancellation

“Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boyfriend. Look at him as a friend, too.”~ Vanessa Hudgens

I do not honestly recall how long ago this news story was, but there was a man who had secretly recorded his telephone conversation with big time internet provider AOL, and he recorded the miserable conversation that he had to endure when AOL had realized that the purpose of his call was to CANCEL his services with them.

I don’t remember just how long he was connected with them but it was at least twenty minutes to a half an hour.

The longer it took, the angrier he became. Eventually, he was screaming and shouting and everything else in between before AOL finally bid him adieu and he was able to hang up satisfied.

Just as this man had suffered because he wanted to cancel, so did I recently with another business.

My experiences are finding that most if not all online dating websites are in reality, all the same.

They operate in the same manner and they attract the same clientele day in and day out. Just because you’ve decided to leave one dating site for another doesn’t mean that the quality of those people are going to honestly change.

This morning, I was alerted to the fact that someone had sent me a personal message through one of these online dating services. I haven’t been to it in such a long time. So long of a time, that it took nearly an hour to remember what the heck my password was to sign in to be able to read whatever message was waiting on me.

As I opened up the website, I didn’t even bother to really look to see who had contacted me. I went straight to the message.

“I keep seeing your name on other dating sites. Man, you must be lonely and desperate!”

That was it. That was the all-important message. And it was very rude, in my opinion. 

I decided to go and check out this woman’s profile while the fires in my mind steadily began to burn.

The “About Me” section was very aptly named and filled out. Whomever this 24 year old woman was… the entire profile, including the “About Me” section, was about HER, HER, HER… and HER.

But then she provided links in her “General Info” section. Links to about a dozen and a half OTHER online dating websites and was apparently her personal profile.

And “I” am the desperate and lonely one??

So I came to the decision to cancel. Not because of the 24 year old woman but because I simply never really use the website for what it is there for. Seriously though: an hour trying to remember what the password was. That is speaking in volumes.

And that’s where the insanity started. I attempted to simply cancel the account online. But then “A survey” came in the form of a pop-up and would not go away until I had filled it out. And this took several minutes to go through, as they were questioning what was wrong and why I was making the decision to leave their site. 

Just about the time that I thought that I was done, I was put through the process of chatting with one of their representatives in a quick chat log box that popped up in the corner of the screen. And it was a very persistent bugger. I clicked OUT of it. And then I would receive an error message and a new one would come up.

I probably should have went for the power cord at the back of my computer at this point, but it didn’t come to mind until much later. Instead my mind went through questioning whether or not I contracted a computer virus through all of this garbage.

More time wasted chatting with that person, that which I assume was really a bot.

And then I just clicked off the browser entirely. Within moments, the telephone rang and it was someone representing the dating site claiming that “we had a lost connection and so we looked up your personal information to be able to speak with you.”

Wow… privacy violations, anyone?!?!?!!?????

I felt like that guy who had to deal with AOL all of a sudden. But I didn’t lose my cool like he had, I stuck to my guns and only honestly answered about six questions and anything else that was asked, I told them to refer to my previous remarks.

For future reference to anyone wanting to cancel their online dating accounts and have to go to through with this: THEY DON’T LIKE THAT!!!! I am guessing their attention spans are not that great. I am only speculating though.

So a grand total of 3+ hours to get this thing cancelled. Starting the clock from the time I read that rude message by that 24 year old to the time where I felt that the job was done. 4 hours if you count the hour wasted trying to remember what in the world the password was to get into the website to begin with.

Ahh, life. You are something else!!!

Some Language Remains Offensive Even Today

“Arrogance on the part of the meritorious is even more offensive to us than the arrogance of those without merit: for merit itself is offensive.“~Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me explain before people start freaking out about the image here and I will show you how this relates to this post. This blog post is meant specifically and ONLY for the release of my frustration from earlier.

So before you go rushing off to “report” me, just hear me out and let me take this moment to let loose of my tense frustrations.

If you have kept up with this blog since or near the beginning, you’ll remember one of my neighbors that I affectionately have nicknamed “The Prophet.” I don’t remember exactly what started it. I just know that it STUCK!

The Prophet seems to think that everything is owed to her on a silver and gold plate, with diamonds and pearls. And that there is nobody on the planet that she waits for.  A former police officer of over 30 years, and a really big ego and sense of entitlement. Its horrible. I mean, ever since she moved in she burned down every bridge there was between herself and any human being who lived here.

Today was no different. But I had blocked her from getting into the apartment manager’s office this morning as he JUST walked in the door and she was hot on his heels. Hell, let the man get comfy and in the zone before people start grating at him.

So she walked away, proclaiming that she was next in line. But then proceeded to walk OUT the back door of the community room and office. I spoke my peace to the manager and then left. I went into the community room for more morning coffee and then some time later on, The Prophet came back into the building and she came after me.

After being caught in a corner, she began to whine and complain about someone else who lives here. Someone else who was also in the room. So she began to whisper.

She began to bitch and moan about the woman we affectionately named “The Constable” who is 45 years old but has the literal mind of a nine year old child, or younger. Nothing she can do about it either.

She comes into our community room every morning and makes the coffee. She takes out the trash went the cans get full. She displays food whenever it is being offered to the residents. And she’s always cleaning up the room as much as possible without getting in the way of the job of our maintenance man.

The Prophet however came to me and was snarling about The Constable and how she acts … (and here’s the offensive quote)…… “Like some goddamned Community Room Nazi.”

Wha…………. WOW!!!!

Picking on a mentally disabled woman for wanting to help. For volunteering her days to help make things nicer for everyone day after day after day. And you’re pissed because every time you come into the community room, you are seeing her either handling food or drink or in the kitchen without failure. This is coming from a woman who claims to have so much immune system problems that a speck of sunshine could kill her. Which is a gross exaggeration, but you get the point.

The Prophet is the one that no longer has friends with ANY of our 65+ residents who live here. NONE of them left!!! She is more tolerated over anything else. And without friends, you have nothing better to do but to tear people down. People who cannot defend themselves. People who have NO IDEA what they are doing half of the time due to some disability. 

And you compare this woman to a Nazi?

What in the world is wrong with you?!?!? You aren’t even old enough to remember that time period where they ruled across Europe. You’re probably not even really old enough to live here, by the age standard but have enough physical disability to qualify.

It was the most offensive thing I had ever heard with my very own ears in a very long time. And again, it was local. I could NOT believe it. Absolute shame on this woman!!! Shame be upon The Prophet. Now I’m in the corner of the Constable because she has no idea that it was said, and it shouldn’t have been said about her or anyone for that matter to begin with.

Disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Dumbass Award For February 2014

“When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.”~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Wow. Well, I knew that this was coming soon. I could feel it in my bones. The problem was that I never thought it would hit on a local level. 

“You always hear about it happening. But you never thought it would happen to you.” Yeah that. EXACTLY that! 

So here I am on Friday evening, sweating the weekend. Knowing that this is not going to be fun. In fact the entire weekend is going to be nothing but not-fun-for-me full.

Instead of going into a panic, such as running out into the middle of the street, pulling what hairs I have left on my head from getting my head buzzed a few weeks ago, and ultimately getting hit by a bus or some idiot without a license, I went for the “next best thing” and asked the neighbors to take me out of this place for a while because it was going to be the only escape I would receive for the entire weekend. 

Sadly though this means that my suggestion to go out to eat comes with the fiscal responsibility of paying for the guy driving me there, and his wife. But I struck a deal with him that he was to know full and well that I would be reimbursed once he was paid next week. And any and all debts that were still outstanding with me would also be paid. 

He agreed and then we went to his wife to see what she thought about the idea. And she didn’t get what we were pitching at her. We had to walk her through it with baby steps. 

Finally, we were up and on our way to go out to eat at a restaurant of THEIR selection. $42 was the bill and I was told that $26 (plus tip) would be added to their current debt and be paid off next week. 

But I will say this before I go into the reasons why the nomination was so close to home. I was out of the house for nearly three hours, and the time just melted away. Everything that I had been poisoning my mind… I hadn’t even thought of. I am sooooo  thankful for that. 

So at the end of our evening, our waiter by the name of Jose came by and asked if we needed anything more. We declined but then the neighbor’s wife spoke up. 

Holy crap! What is she doing??

She was feeling absolutely rotten because neither she or her husband could participate or pitch in on at least the tip that was being left on the table. And it was really eating her up inside. 

What does she do?? One of the weirdest and dumbest things I have ever heard in my life!!!!! 

She asks Jose for his business card. And poor Jose!! English as a second language Jose. 

Between his faulty grasp of the English language, the babies that were screaming, crying, and carrying on. The multitudes of people talking all at the same time…. he just could not understand what she was asking for. 

So he brought over someone else who was actually busy trying to direct traffic of customers who were just coming in for their dining experience of the evening. And so the neighbor’s wife again explained the following scenario as I will write it below from her point of view: 

“My husband and I were invited here as a special treat to come eat here. And we don’t get paid until Tuesday of next week. So I was wondering if y’all could give me his card.”

Confusion set in on their faces again, just like Jose. 

“What I mean is write his first and last name on one of y’all’s cards so that the next time we come in here to eat, I can give him our half of his tip for tonight. We come in here regularly, and I just wanted to make sure that we gave him his tip.” 

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, OVER???????

First of all, she lied. Neither she nor her husband frequent the place that much. Probably once every couple of months. That’s not “frequent” by any definition. It might be consistency, but that’s not high frequency. 

Secondly, who does that and can say that they are of sound mind?????? NOBODY! Who gives an I.O.U. for a tip?? I have never heard such ridiculousness in all of my life. 

Besides…. there was already a tip on the table that I left. It wasn’t a lot. Nor was it the “average” but I gave what I could. And this woman decides to go pull this stunt. Probably because she felt he deserved more. But when you are being treated to dinner, it is really not your responsibility. It becomes yours only if you decide to chip in. And she was wanting to but found out that she was unable to. And pulls a stunt like that. It only caused her to get strange looks and an explanation in return that there’s a privacy policy that needs to be in place to protect their employees and she was not going to get what she requested…. but thank you for coming in and come back again soon! 

I do not know what her husband thought or was thinking at the time. But we were trying to leave and she insisted that she was going to wait for that second person to come back with a card with Jose’s full name on it. We waited ten very long, boring, and grueling minutes before she saw that same person again and realized that she was going to receive nothing. 

We marched our way to the exit doors. Our stomachs full of disgusting buffet food that was probably not good for anyone to eat. And the wife again found the second person she talked to and asked for that card just one more time. By then it was just embarrassing. And I bolted out through the front door into the chilly night air as the sun had disappeared for the evening and I realized we had been gone for hours. 

This is the quality of people that I live around. NOW can I get some sympathy?????????

 

 

Rent A Rebound

“My breakup with AT&T is final, and I’m done with Skype as the rebound guy.”~ Elayne Boosler

Thanks to the good people over at SourceFed, a YouTube channel full of umm… “news” …. I was made aware of this fine service that is available in the UK.

RENT A REBOUND helps create for you a lifestyle of a rebound boyfriend/girlfriend that will work over your ex’s senses to the point of absolutely jealousy and envy.

And that is the entire point of the service. A FAKE “significant other” or a bot, will be created just to fit your lifestyle on social media websites. And they will even create further fake “friends” for you so it seems as if you are suddenly the hottest commodity on the market. You know, now that you are single. Setting up fake fights over the Internet so that people will start paying more attention to you. And of course to make those exes of yours so insanely jealous that they’ll go crazy trying to figure out what they just left behind.

All of this for £399… about $500 USD.

So what do you think? Is this service worth it?? Is it something you would use?? Check out their website and then let me know in the comment section.

http://wish.co.uk/rent-a-rebound/