“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”~ Buddha
The Truth. Where did it go? Has anybody seen it? Does anyone speak it? And why all of a sudden are MEN coming to me, during this short time period of a post-Valentine’s Day???
Women: You’re severely dropping the ball here!!
In the past five days alone, two men have sat there, afraid that they were about to lose their masculinity because they cried on my shoulder. Why? Because women, of all people, have not been telling them the truth.
Male victim #1 came rushing after being what he called “blind-sided” by a woman that he had been chasing for the past year. She said to him that she was unavailable for dating until she got her feet on the ground and her life turned around in a better and more positive direction. She had in the past been going through some hardships and it was because of her own choices. He didn’t push as hard but he kept himself in her circles so that she would not forget about him. And apparently he would be a little flirty and what not just to keep the lines of interest open. He was expected to “wait out the storm” for about a year to a year and a half. And somewhere in the middle of that time period, he was being flirty to the one he liked and she came back with “I don’t think that my boyfriend would like that too much.”
When he asked how long that she had been dating… her answer would literally turn his stomach into knots to the point where he was literally crying in my presence. Holding his stomach, and getting the dry heaves.
Male victim #2 had a similar case of the fibs. His “dream girl” told him to wait for her too. Different situation and different reasons why to wait. Until he too came by very recently, drunk as a skunk and cussing like a sailor because of his anger and frustration over the fact that there are rumors that the woman he had waited for had been involved with another man the entire time. The only difference is that victim #2 is battling rumors and has no way of finding out for sure whether or not what he’s been told is truthful or not.
Until the stress from the situation got him to a dark place. So he had no choice but to confront and ask. And of course, his dream girl denies everything…. but in his eyes he felt something was wrong. The next morning, the dream girl changed her Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship with ________” and it wasn’t his name.
I’ve been where victim #1 has been. I’ve personally been there once before. It was not fun at all. In fact, it was torture. On the odd side of things it did make it easier for me to just walk away from her. That was the unusual part.
So here’s the question: Why not tell the truth from the beginning? Who cares about whether or not you are afraid its going to hurt someone, would you rather hurt them with the truth than KILL them with lies?
Two things are going to happen in this arena when it comes to lies and deception:
#1- Once a person believes in a lie, they are going to live their life as if that lie is the truth because they are not going to think or believe that the reality is any other way. And that’s going to cause the liar to have to keep up and remember all the lies they’ve told … just to keep the lies going. So once the lie is exposed, depending on how much time has gone by and how much that person who was lied to, believed in it…. will determine how much damage there’s to come of this. Again, why lie when you just hurt someone’s feelings and be done with it? Because feelings will heal and we will move on. Becoming damaged on the other hand, is totally different.
#2- No matter what you say, no matter what you do. Lies will ALWAYS be revealed. Truth trumps lies!! It doesn’t matter what you do or what you say…. in time (or I should say IN ITS OWN TIME) the lies will unravel and your deception will be in the spotlight. And you’ll have nothing left to hide behind but your own sadness. Not because of guilt but because you got caught. Just telling someone a bunch of crap because that’s what you think that the other person wants is not being so honest. And quite frankly if you have been lying, you deserve the reaction and consequence that will come forth.
WHY HAVE WE STOPPED TELLING THE TRUTH TO ONE ANOTHER?? Especially when it comes to relationships and how we treat one another. Telling the truth might be a new concept in 2014, but good grief!! That’s the way it used to be. So, why not go back from where we came?
We as human being needs to do one another right.