“When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.”~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Wow. Well, I knew that this was coming soon. I could feel it in my bones. The problem was that I never thought it would hit on a local level.
“You always hear about it happening. But you never thought it would happen to you.” Yeah that. EXACTLY that!
So here I am on Friday evening, sweating the weekend. Knowing that this is not going to be fun. In fact the entire weekend is going to be nothing but not-fun-for-me full.
Instead of going into a panic, such as running out into the middle of the street, pulling what hairs I have left on my head from getting my head buzzed a few weeks ago, and ultimately getting hit by a bus or some idiot without a license, I went for the “next best thing” and asked the neighbors to take me out of this place for a while because it was going to be the only escape I would receive for the entire weekend.
Sadly though this means that my suggestion to go out to eat comes with the fiscal responsibility of paying for the guy driving me there, and his wife. But I struck a deal with him that he was to know full and well that I would be reimbursed once he was paid next week. And any and all debts that were still outstanding with me would also be paid.
He agreed and then we went to his wife to see what she thought about the idea. And she didn’t get what we were pitching at her. We had to walk her through it with baby steps.
Finally, we were up and on our way to go out to eat at a restaurant of THEIR selection. $42 was the bill and I was told that $26 (plus tip) would be added to their current debt and be paid off next week.
But I will say this before I go into the reasons why the nomination was so close to home. I was out of the house for nearly three hours, and the time just melted away. Everything that I had been poisoning my mind… I hadn’t even thought of. I am sooooo thankful for that.
So at the end of our evening, our waiter by the name of Jose came by and asked if we needed anything more. We declined but then the neighbor’s wife spoke up.
Holy crap! What is she doing??
She was feeling absolutely rotten because neither she or her husband could participate or pitch in on at least the tip that was being left on the table. And it was really eating her up inside.
What does she do?? One of the weirdest and dumbest things I have ever heard in my life!!!!!
She asks Jose for his business card. And poor Jose!! English as a second language Jose.
Between his faulty grasp of the English language, the babies that were screaming, crying, and carrying on. The multitudes of people talking all at the same time…. he just could not understand what she was asking for.
So he brought over someone else who was actually busy trying to direct traffic of customers who were just coming in for their dining experience of the evening. And so the neighbor’s wife again explained the following scenario as I will write it below from her point of view:
“My husband and I were invited here as a special treat to come eat here. And we don’t get paid until Tuesday of next week. So I was wondering if y’all could give me his card.”
Confusion set in on their faces again, just like Jose.
“What I mean is write his first and last name on one of y’all’s cards so that the next time we come in here to eat, I can give him our half of his tip for tonight. We come in here regularly, and I just wanted to make sure that we gave him his tip.”
WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT, OVER???????
First of all, she lied. Neither she nor her husband frequent the place that much. Probably once every couple of months. That’s not “frequent” by any definition. It might be consistency, but that’s not high frequency.
Secondly, who does that and can say that they are of sound mind?????? NOBODY! Who gives an I.O.U. for a tip?? I have never heard such ridiculousness in all of my life.
I do not know what her husband thought or was thinking at the time. But we were trying to leave and she insisted that she was going to wait for that second person to come back with a card with Jose’s full name on it. We waited ten very long, boring, and grueling minutes before she saw that same person again and realized that she was going to receive nothing.
We marched our way to the exit doors. Our stomachs full of disgusting buffet food that was probably not good for anyone to eat. And the wife again found the second person she talked to and asked for that card just one more time. By then it was just embarrassing. And I bolted out through the front door into the chilly night air as the sun had disappeared for the evening and I realized we had been gone for hours.
This is the quality of people that I live around. NOW can I get some sympathy?????????