“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”~ Lewis B. Smedes
As of lately, I’ve been dealing with a love/hate relationship over something so small as an album that was released in November of 2013 by an artist that is within my top ten artists of… ever.
But I’ve honestly not been able to listen to any of it because of the memories that were unfortunately connected with it that came back right around the time of Christmas.
Memories were made, “song dedications” were made as well. And now that part of life is gone as the person that I made these memories with are history. And yet the memory of them linger strongly in connection with the album.
But since the beginning of the month I have been forcing myself to listen to it since I actually paid for it to have it in the first place. At first it just didn’t do it for me but as time went on and I got used to the content on the album, I was better okay with it. At the time of its release… if I was giving a critical review…. I would have then given it 3½ out of 5 stars.
And this is coming from an artist that I’ve been following for decades. I simply didn’t like half of the album. Although the first half I thought was entertaining.
Now, I am scumbagged with memories of those no longer a part of my life in association of this album.
For the longest time, I refused to listen to it. Or even look at the CD.
So then why now??
Its a struggle right now but I think that I will be successful.
And even if I don’t totally or completely get rid of the older memories that were once good and now turned sour, I can still make the effort to focus on the newer memories that I have made.
Let’s face it… erasing the human memory is not cheap. Or pleasant. Even though it is possible.
I think though that this could be possible to exchange the memories. I’ve only just begun on my experimental journey as this involves music it obviously is a huge piece of my life. I would to have one person DESTROY something that I consider to be an influential part of MY life, simply because they chose to no longer be apart of it.
So I can either choose to exchange those memories or I can let them win and live the rest of my life miserable because they killed something of mine that I enjoyed so very much. Even before I knew who they were!!!
And I assure you ladies & gentlemen that if you are thinking to yourself that it doesn’t sound like Dambreaker to do so and just let them win like that — you’re right!!!
We all have memories. Some have problems with memory. I clearly do not. But instead of allowing my brain to rule my heart more than it should already….. I choose to simply “reboot the brain” and replace the memory with something new.
Besides, the memory wipe neurlizer-thing from MEN IN BLACK #1- does not exist. #2- would probably be too expensive. #3- might erase too much!!