22 April 2014: Dambreaker Versus The Hell Katz at Headhunter’s

Posted: April 23, 2014 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

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“One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.”~ Friedrich Nietzsche  

What did I get myself into? What rabbit hole have I fallen into?

Its the 2014 version of the go-go dance troupe here locally at one rather small venue.

I introduce to you The Hell Katz.

Every Tuesday they have their rendition of Ta Ta Tuesdays. I just happened to come in during the Easter Edition. I was promised sexy bunnies.

What I ended up with, was a mild orgy of flesh and tattoos and wild hair…. with the periodic plastic bunny ears.

It was something I had no experience with and so calling it a learning experience is beneath the definition by a long rimmed shot.

But it was also something that had been to my attention for at least a month now, ever since meeting the one they call “Vyper Lily” at the 2014 SXSW Festival at a different venue, doing a different job.

Vyper

Vyper Lily

Ironically, she and I found one another on social networking sites and we have become somewhat of strange friends.

It is what it is though.

And so I’ve known about this dance troupe for a while, I just couldn’t get out for one reason or another to decide for myself what it was all about.

Last night, those discoveries would be unearthed.

I didn’t know what to really expect, other than these girls were going to be dancing throughout the night and most of them dancing while on top of the bar.

This ain’t your Coyote Ugly!

I thought that it was going to be a very bad night as I couldn’t find the place to begin with. Apparently Headhunter’s don’t have the smarts to put a sign out front to show their location. They are running under the disguise of “Metal and Lace” still, and I don’t know why.

I went by that place at least five times before I realized that I was needing to go inside of it.

I finally established where the venue was and found it to be pretty empty. The first band was still kind of hanging out and warming up, not quite set up on stage to go for it. Just laid back and relaxed.

I had a few conversations with the barmaid who seemed to be pretty nice. But her evil side came out when it came to leftover Easter eggs. More on that later.

I realize that I was really early, and I needed to just calm myself and relax a little before any of these Ta Ta Tuesday dancers showed up. Especially Vyper Lily.

I think that I definitely should have known something was up when I looked and saw that this film was being played called “Watership Down.”

Joined

Why are the rabbits being bloody and violent??

I don’t think that I’ve ever heard of it. I know that I’ve not seen the animated film. But geez, whoa, whiskey tango foxtrot, over?????

When you have scenes like these, you realize that you are not in your safe little bubble of animated features that you grew up to know.

I heard someone there excuse it because it was British. But that didn’t cut the fat with me.

I complimented the barmaid about her hair, and she turned such a deep shade of red that you thought she was going to turn into a tomato. Needless to say, she avoided me much of the rest of the night. And it was  still way too early. Bands hadn’t even started yet.

As the first band played, I wasn’t sure what I got myself into. It definitely was not the kind of music that I would choose to listen to. And now I was to understand that Vyper Lily wasn’t coming until later in the evening.

So much for in and out and back.

As more of The Hell Katz began to come in and then I saw Vyper Lily, I knew that I was in for the long haul. hellkatzIt wasn’t all that bad.

Let me tell you what it was NOT: There was no nudity. No stripping. No topless activity… no matter how hard one of the bands on the stage tried to see some titties.

That isn’t what The Hell Katz are about.

Although they shake what their mama gave them….. that’s all part of the job. Bring in more customers, earn more tips. Rinse, wash, repeat.

After awhile of watching these girls do their thing, and realizing that people were getting drunk and were not watching what they were doing… I stepped outside to get some air.

Vyper Lily was out there, and I took advantage to take some photographs with her. There was another dancer that I took photographs with. She had been talking to me like we were the bestest of buddies in the whole wide world.

And that’s cool. Suddenly, she makes the request that I find her on Facebook. And that was a first.

I asked for a photograph and she agreed. We found someone to operate the camera and then she slithered onto my lap like she freaking owned it and gave a pose like she couldn’t give a damn. Gotta love it!!! Thank you, Vyrus McDisco. (Where do these stage names come from?)

After the flash went off, I barely had time to thank her as she jumped off and went back inside. helllz

Then shortly after that, I took even more photographs with Vyper Lily. And then I was assaulted by some random woman walking by. If I have the time, I’ll write about that in my blog separately. All I have to say is, she could not resist to put her hands on me. Even while she was being dragged away by her significant other by the hand.

The music never got better but the dancing by The Hell Katz was in rare top form I think.

It’s hard to shove cash in someone’s stocking when there’s the ever present danger of being kicked by a dancer’s boot who is doing her job on top of the bar.

Sometimes I hate being at this altitude.

I wonder what these girls can make in one night? The crowd seemed to be pretty small so maybe not a whole lot. But just enough?? I don’t know. I’m not going to ask either. That’s their personal business. But I am curious.

Probably the one thing that I will remember most about the night is how Vyrus McDisco manhandled some drunk trying to get in for free, claiming he was late for work at the bar.

Surprise is on YOU, jackass!! The Hell Katz have been dancing there every Tuesday night for a long, long time. They are going to know who does and who does not work. But she grabbed him by the shirt and kicked his ass out into the street.

Awesome, awesome display of female power!! I for one, will not be messing with Vyrus McDisco…….. ever.

So at the end of the night, Vyper Lily gave me probably one of the sweetest hugs I’ve received since the invention of fire. And I had no idea how I was going to get home. But I said my farewells, I introduced myself to the barmaid finally and she was talking to me at last. 10177388_10152064592396453_9037689596011211580_n

She walked behind me with her confetti eggs and I moved away. She said that she was using me for cover. And I think now that was probably just some trick to get me to sit still. She then attacked someone with a confetti egg and I began to move away. But she came up from behind me and smacked me like Little Bunny Foo-Foo over the head with one of those confetti eggs. I had been hit three individual times by those stupid things throughout the entire night.

Anyone have any ideas on how to get her back unexpectedly in the near future?

So I made some new friends. Took a lot of photographs. And then found that my luck was still running on GOOD when a taxi cab turned down the block and just parked- waiting for a customer.

I was trying to get the driver to understand that he was too far away from the curb and a drunk couple tried to intervene. The guy said that he was going to through my ass into the cab so hard that I would stick. And I was NOT okay with that.

I watched his every move.

When we finally got the vehicle close enough, I climbed into the taxi cab and the drunk guy was attempting to hail a taxi for him and his +1 AND help with my situation at the same time. It wasn’t working well. Why he didn’t let his woman go get the taxi is beyond me?

But he threw NOTHING. I made sure of that.

I came home knowing that I made some new friends. I finally figured out my camera that I got as a gift. And I posted photos on Facebook.

Geez, when I woke up this morning…. my Facebook had gone down the toilet with people looking at my photographs of me hanging on to the dancers and the dancers all over me. That was the POINT!! I’ve received mixed reviews about my night out based on those photographs.

Dear readers, understand this: I was NOT there to try and take one of them home with me last night. Most (if not ALL) of the dancers have boyfriends or significant others. So it would be fruitless. I was just out to let my hair down and be happy for once.

But I got out for a night, it did some good too. I am thankful to Vyper Lily and her constant badgering of Ta Ta Tuesdays.

I might not make it out for a while though.

The cab fare was $19.00 and I gave the driver a $20 bill. The look on his face was if he wanted to kill me. He drove all that way, for a dollar tip. Sadly, I didn’t have anything else to give him. So I paid him, bid him farewell, and got the hell inside of my home before he decided to pull a stunt.

It was fun though. Now that I have some kind of learning experience as to what to think or expect. I hope I get the chance to return.

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