The Ex Explosion And The Power Behind It

Posted: January 22, 2015 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

not ACTUAL girlfriend!


“Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don’t love.”~ Jack Nicholson

This morning I was met by a friend request from an ex-girlfriend… again.

This is probably the third time I have dealt with such a request within the past four years. Each and every time, ultimately was denied and then blocked. It didn’t matter which social media was used either. MySpace or Facebook.

However today had a little bit of difference as her Facebook profile and cover photo were of her at her wedding which apparently happened sometime last year.

I still have no idea what it is that she is wanting. I don’t know what it is she thinks the connection is. Even though I have on more than one occasion expressed to her personally that I no longer wish to have any communication, any socialization with her ever again. That we should leave the past in the past, and hold on to the memories that we have. The relationship happened and then ended almost twenty years ago.

And yet this morning, I receive yet another friend request on Facebook from a completely new Facebook profile. The difference being that her last name is hyphenated. Is she only doing this to make a statement to show that she did in fact get married? Is she attempting to be a thorn in the side to shove it in my face that she is married? I don’t know. Honestly, I just don’t want to know.

I then spent the next two full hours losing myself over it all. Until I spoke with someone else who was there and willing to just listen.

I felt and heard myself getting so animated as I spoke of this rather brief situation that had happened. I mean how DARE she come after me with yet another friend request after she’s been told more than twice that I want nothing to do with her?? After all, who does she think she is???????

I even felt a bit light-headed once I had actually stopped talking to take a breath. And that’s when the person that was listening to me slapped me with a hardcore lesson in reality. A lesson that I hope to be able to share with you as you read this post.

As I reached over and grabbed my drink to take a sip, I heard them respond to everything that I had shouted and screamed and bitched and moaned about.

“Why are you giving this so much of your energy?”

Crowbar to the nuts in 3… 2 …. 1 …….. wait for it ……………………….. BANG!!

What they were telling me made sense. What I had told them, I couldn’t take back. I was exposed. I was out there and I had allowed everything to eat me up inside. A person that I haven’t seen face to face in nearly twenty years. A person in which feelings for have drastically changed. A person that I don’t even want to be bothered with- I had allowed to bother me.  fingerred

Then I was given a bonus lesson through an analogy:

If someone gives you the finger. It is up to you as to whether or not you do or say anything in response. You have that power to take care of you.

Are you going to just laugh at the person? Are you going to ignore them? Or are you going to stand your ground and pick a fight?? 

YOU have all the power in the universe to take care of you. It is your choice in how you deal with that particular situation that you have found yourself in.

Another analogy as a bonus-bonus was then presented before me in the statement of:

You cannot control who is going to knock on your door. You can control whether or not you answer the door and how you deal with the person who is knocking. Or you can choose to ignore it and just wait for the person to go away and stop knocking. It is all within you. 

And so we should take the lesson of knowing what is worth spending our energy on, what are we going to do with the power that we have in taking care of ourselves.

Here I was… on my eldest brother’s 50th birthday, and just days away from my own birthday. More information on its importance as the day arrives.

And then realizing that I am in the middle of making plans for a Round #2 with someone that I never thought I’d lay eyes on again. Once more, more information on that as it happens.

And yet with all these happy and positive things happening and about to happen in my life, the fact was that all of my energy was focusing on my ex-girlfriend’s attempt to contact me. The power was handed over to ex-girlfriend and all focus was on her, rather than being in the most happiest of moods because of many personal triumphs and celebrations.

What do you use your energy on? On what should you use LESS energy and power on? On what should you use MORE??

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