My Future Fifth Ex-Wife

I usually give in to the requests of others when I know that people have been reading this blog and they tell me, “You should blog about that.” 

It was suggested that I write about this.

It’s humiliating to think of and yet today it is so funny!!

A few years ago, I got exceptionally lucky that I would find myself within the company of two Hollywood actors, Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaughey.

I had something fierce for Sandra Bullock and decided that she would be my future wife. Because the other four women before her either got married or did something to turn me away.

But there she was.

The two of them were minding their own business and I went up to them and started to speak. The conversation was held mostly with Matthew. Sandra didn’t say a whole lot. Something that I hadn’t noticed until much later after this experience happened.

Anyways, when I saw that the conversation was about to come to an end, I kinda went into fan shock.

I had a notebook with me. At the time I was attempting to write a screenplay. And I looked over and I asked if I could have an autograph.

Yet this would pose as a big problem as I was not specific. My intention was for Sandra’s autograph. Not Matthew. But I did not make myself clear. Matthew McConaughey was more than happy to oblige. And when I saw that I had made the mistake by not being specific enough, the following words came falling out of my mouth:

NO! NO! NOT YOURS!! I MEANT HER, I WANT HER AUTOGRAPH!!!

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. As I think about it now in 2012.

At the time I kind of thought that Matthew may have been an actor or he may have been famous or whatever. I had seen him in the film EdTV, but that’s all I knew of his acting career. And I wasn’t even 100% sure that it was him. But I surely knew Sandra and all of her acting roles. Hell, I had nearly all of them on video and DVD.

They both kind of looked at me in disbelief coupled with annoyance.

Matthew handed over the notebook to Sandra. She had noticed there was nothing to write with. I hadn’t given them anything to write an autograph. And I sat there fumbling around trying to find my pen. I would later realize that I had lost it along the way just shortly before I decided to go over to see them.

Matthew had one, which I thought was to my favor. Sandra scribbled something and then gave back the notebook.

As Matthew attempted to return the book to me, I had realized that what I had  said and done was very rude. And I was grasping at straws to redeem myself from the stupid behavior that I had exhibited.

I asked for Matthew’s autograph.

This plan to redeem myself had failed miserably that it could have gone down in history as the worst attempt at a comeback ever.

After numerous times of being asked if I was sure, I insisted that I was.

So then he signed the following message on another page:

“Thanks for being a giant asshole.  MM.” 

Yeah, I totally deserved that one.

By the time I had looked up from reading what both of them had written, they were gone. Looking back at it now, I can’t say that I blame them.

Any fantasies or dreams of having Sandra Bullock being the future Mrs. Dambreaker ….. were gone. I had blown it big time!!

But I learned that I should always watch what I say around people. Even if I am star struck by them. After all, Hollywood celebrities are people too. They have feelings and emotions.

I would later run into other famous people and such, but I had learned what NOT to say and what NOT to do. 

I still follow Sandra’s career. I am more aware of Matthew’s acting career as well now. And I do like them both. But I’m forever haunted by my own slip-of-the-tongue so many years ago that no matter how far or fast that I run, its always going to be there. I can’t undo the past. But I can surely live and learn from it.

There’s Nothing On

“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”~ Ann Landers

 

I probably have my television set turned off more than I have it on. It used to be white noise but then again, that got dull and boring. There’s nothing ever on any more.

 

I do have my favorite shows that I like to watch each week, but now with it being summer and all they are doing is showing repeats, the television stays off most of the time, unless I am using my DVD player as a stereo to listen to my music or watching movies from my very meager DVD collection.

 

All of that aside, there’s still nothing on television that captures my full attention day after day, night after night.

 

Television has really hit bottom. Especially now since anything that is new, is all “reality shows”. It is terrible.

 

We watch these ordinary people who dare to sign a contact saying that they give up their privacy rights to be filmed and then broadcast to millions of people around the world. And we do it, because it makes us feel better about our own lives when we see these people acting like complete and total morons before our very eyes. There’s never any plot, there’s no story, there’s no direction. Just mindless, feculent filth that goes on and on.

 

Gone are the days of sitcoms it seems. Some networks will attempt to make new shows but in the end they get cancelled. It seems as if we are more interested in the fact that strange people who we don’t know, are becoming more and more of a fixture in our homes. All because of two things that are still hand in hand. Which actually is an extension of my previous blog post.

 

#1- Television networks do NOT want to pay the absorbment & greedy amount of money to actors in order to make a decent television program.

 

#2- Actors/actresses do NOT want to do any work for less than millions and millions and millions of dollars for EACH episode.

 

So then televison networks tried their hand on these so-called “reality shows” where they specifically state in their contracts… “We ain’t paying you a single dime!”. And people are dumb enough to sign them, just because they wanna be on television.

 

When I was growing up, my parents loathed the television set. As maturing children, we were only allowed to watch a certain amount of ‘the idiot box’ on any given night. Those were the rules of the house. Naturally, that was something that I thought was bogus. So when I was out on my own for the first time, I watched as much of it as I could. Totally wasting life away, because the amount of television that I was consuming was far too much.

 

As an adult now, I can pick and choose whatever I want to watch, whenever I want to watch it. I just choose NOT to because there’s nothing there that interests me. So to my own father I say, “Yeah. You were right.”

 

I really could care less about some woman from New Jersey who has more tits than brains. And I could not care any more about any socialite who wants to sit at home and whine that life isn’t fair, all the while having sex with someone and recording it and selling it.

 

I think that television networks AND the list of actors/actresses need to pull their greedy heads out from their secure-locked butts and come up for air. Find that middle ground and make good quality entertainment. Then television wouldn’t have this stigmata over it. It is in fact, plenty ridiculous.

 

I find it totally laughable at what is considered to be popular any more. Some of these people come out of nowhere and they show themselves on televison and then become so extremely popular that they don’t know what to do with themselves. But then, the next “reality show” gets created and they’ve been bumped out of the spotlight because the next person has acted even more ridiculous and stupid on the air than they had.

 

I speak for myself when I say that every time I go NEAR my television set, I cringe. Because as soon as I turn it on, I know that within minutes I will turn it back off again. The only reason why I have one in the first place (other than the reasons listed above) is because I bought it for $100 to help a woman who we all had thought was trying to get back on her feet and live a life of the straightened path because she had previously had been a stripper. It was a television combo with DVD & VCR. And of course, there was no remote control with it and the DVD & VCR parts to it, don’t even work.

 

And now I find that she fell back into her ways, got married, had a baby, and then divorced. Now she’s back to where she started. And that is probably the REAL reason why I hate my own television set.

 

Honestly though, there’s nothing on!

 

Time to start looking for some hobbies.