“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. “~ Keanu Reeves
How I got into a conversation about sex and relationships with a female friend of mine, I just cannot remember. But I think that I brought up a few fine points that was a bit surprising to her as to what I would and would not do. As well as who I was chase and who I would not chase.
Perhaps its the idea that a male actually has some kind of boundary where a line would be drawn. Because as you well know, the stereotype is that a man will go after anything and everything that moves.
We all as humans have that list of people that just knock our socks off. Or at least in our own minds and fantasies, we believe that would be so if we ever come across the chance to be with that person in an intimate way.
I mentioned that there are no actresses from Hollywood on my own personal list. I think that probably threw my friend into shock.
I continued with my opinion that dating a Hollywood actress would be extremely difficult as their entire profession, their lifetime career is based on them being someone else, portraying another person, and pretending to be someone else.
I feel that one would run the risk of dating someone so involved in their craft that one could not tell what their TRUE feelings are for a person. And a theory that I’ve always had is that is why there are so many divorces in Hollywood when popular celebrities get married to one another.
Yes I know, there are exceptions. But there’s always exceptions to the rule. There ARE a small list of actresses that I would like to get to know– if you catch my drift. But deep down, that uncertainty of them not having true feelings for me is a bit of a deal breaker for me.
I am simply not the kind of person that would want to test that kind of theory. Especially if the odds are that my theory is correct. A risk I am not willing to take personally.
Along the same lines, I am not willing to chase after any woman in the pornography business. I think a majority of people can actually understand that though. If that means that I am a jealous man, then whatever. But I am also what some would consider “old school”. And still others, pious. In other words: honest, faithful, and true to the person that I have entered into a relationship with.
I could say its that kind of attitude that has found me in so much heartache and pain in the past, but I tend to think that I had made the wrong choices and found myself with someone who didn’t feel the same way about the situation as I did.
The thought of being in a relationship like that, only to know that they are gone to their work and “doing their thang” with other people and then coming home again, ehhh…. yeah, that’s NOT for me!!
The other thing that I cannot find myself doing, is dating the supermodel. The reason for that is best defined in two simple words: high maintenance.
Granted, what man wouldn’t want to be seen in public with an uber-attractive woman on his arm?? But is that beauty worth the price of what is going on inside of her head??
A lot of them have tons of issues. Personal, mental, psychological. Some are in the industry for their own self-gratification. They have the NEED to feel desired and wanted. Their own self-esteem is next to nothing. Their looks set high expectations and their personalities usually fail to deliver.
Again, there are exceptions to the rule. So this is not to say that ALL of them are like that.
But these kinds of women all have a few things in common.
These women are used to being objectified by men. All of the time. It doesn’t stop. Having to deal with pushing back these objectifying people would be exhausting. In my own personal experiences, it has been a constant struggle to settle down the male counterparts that I dealt with when I was in any kind of serious relationship.
I even had to go as far as threaten to terminate certain friendships that I had with other men because of their constant talk about who I was with at the time.
One woman that I had a relationship with once before was actually back in my life after I broke it off with her. It was a useless attempt to try again to see if we couldn’t figure out what went wrong and correct it to make things right.
She had the extreme nerve to express in front of one of my guy friends that she was, shall we say “well skilled” in certain aspects.
My buddy kept calling her bluff. It was something that he knew that she did NOT like. She couldn’t stand it when people would refuse to believe her and she would be damned before she quit trying anything that was on the face of the planet to convince them that she was telling the truth.
Then she offered to take him and prove it personally.
I couldn’t figure out which bothered me more, the fact that this girlfriend and I were attempting to try again, or the fact that my buddy wasn’t even cracking a smile or expressing that he was only joking with her because he knew that he could get a rise out of her. It was like he was seriously considering her offer.
I eventually spoke up and said that IF the two of them were actually going to participate in this so-called proof of action, that A- they were going to leave my home and go somewhere else far, far, far away. And B- neither one of them was to ever show their faces to me for as long as I lived.
Was it jealousy or justification???
Two days later, I kicked her out from visiting my home and went out of town for a weekend. I couldn’t have her staying in my home while I was gone, and nobody had the money needed to drag her along to pay for her.
She never returned. Then she told me that she was getting back with a different ex-boyfriend and I cut the cord from her completely.
I didn’t talk to my friend for a few months. Until he confronted me and said that he wasn’t going to leave until we hammered out the problem. Of which we did. The friendship lasted longer, the attempt to revive a disaster of a romantic relationship did not.
But as I begin to get off track here, I HATED having to do that. I am fully aware that if I am ever with a woman that there is going to be the possibility of some other man looking at her. Someone may objectify her. But when it comes to the situation of being in a relationship with a model or someone of that “caliber” then its just something that I will have to continuously keep ahead of, and that’s what I think is part of the high maintenance of it all.
I don’t like that. I’m really not that great at it as I don’t like to start confrontations. I’d much rather avoid it.
Yes, I do have those few certain someones that deep down really just flip me on like a switch. To deny that would just be foolish and misleading. But going after what some men consider the BIG PRIZE is not within my own DNA.
So I will continue on. I’ll be sure to take more risks when it comes to even talking with women. I’ll go ahead and attempt to bite the bullet so to speak. And eventually when it comes right down to it, when THAT ONE has arrived in my life, then I will move forward to build and create a new relationship. There are just certain types of relationships that I personally choose not to go after.