Posts Tagged ‘angry’

Barn-Swallow-nest-photo-by-Richard-Van-Vleck“Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings.”~ Salvador Dali

Hang on, because this blog train is on a roll and its not going to stop today until I am finished with all that I have been holding back over the past few weeks. All the while giving you updates of other things and telling of new stories and adventures of life.

I recently wrote a post about the barn swallows that have taken residence near my apartment.

Since then, I’ve been getting a lot of grief about whether or not birds abandon their young after they’ve been handled by humans.

And you know what?? Right now, this debate does not matter. Because ever since the death of the young bird… all hell has broken loose as far as the surviving birds that are still here today and are growing up. Including the adult birds.

What I can tell you now is that ever since the death of the young bird, THEY ARE ALL PISSED OFF!!! The young have finally learned how to fly and so now they are in and out of the nest over and over and over again. They don’t seem to be flying very far from the nest but they come back immediately.

Meanwhile, the larger birds that make barn swallows their food, have been hanging around on the ground a lot more as of lately.

The entire family of barn swallows had for a time abandoned the nest for the option of perching on a grocery cart that has been sitting on my patio area. Adults included. I had to throw a glove last Thursday to get them to all fly away just long enough for me to pass by and get inside. But it was the first time that they would cross directly over head and even make contact with me. This family is really either gone insane or down in the dumps for the loss.

Usually the birds do not attack me. But they have been if they are awake and I am going outside or coming inside. Regular visitors are also having to change tactics and run in zig-zag patterns to get away from the birds that keep flying overhead.

It has turned into a nightmare. Four birds plus two adults and they go after anyone and everyone. Stray cats, people walking down the sidewalk, they have attacked them all. And I don’t know exactly why.

As the summer rolls on and it gets hotter, the birds will eventually leave and breeding season will be over. But for now, I will have to deal with them and they will have to deal with me.

So nice to meet you… I live with psycho birds. Thank you for stopping by. Your life may or may not be in danger here.

“Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.”~ Samuel Goldwyn
This t-shirt image was given to me last night by a great friend of mine. This t-shirt is on eBay for sale.
 
I love it! I think its wild and I think its funny!! But this image would eventually bring out the worst in me, due to a small collective group of people who are totally and completely ignorant.
 
The image is obviously of a two people making love while one of them is sitting in a wheelchair. Gender cannot be determined. But gender isn’t the point. The point is the funny visual of making love while sitting in a wheelchair.
 
I was delighted to see it, so I shared it across the Internet. A lot of people enjoyed it, thinking it was funny as well. But there were that small group of people that just took the image and discussed it at length to the point where they were absolutely out of line and their comments were uncalled for.
 
These ignorant morons literally to this image to the extreme and came up with the general idea that this could never happen in reality. Furthermore, their opinions went as far as to say that ALL people who need the use of the wheelchair cannot make love, because they are in a wheelchair.
 
If there ever was a time for my mouth to let fly a series of F-bombs, this would be one of those times.
 
I could not believe the stones that they had, to say something like that. To me, to others, and actually believe that what they were saying, was totally true and right. And of course, they were closed-minded to any debate. In their minds: HANDICAPPED PEOPLE OR PEOPLE WITH PHYSICAL DISABILITIES CANNOT HAVE INTIMATE RELATIONS.
 
I asked them all, if they had sex. Then I asked if any of them who have had sex before ever done so other than the bedroom. Whether it be the couch, a chair, the backseat of a car, whatever. Some still said yes. But they still were not grasping the concept that they were in the exact same position as the people in the image when they were engaging in sexual relations with a partner.
 
For them to say into my face that it was impossible, was more than just an insult. It was absolutely discriminating. My final words to them were, “When you find yourself in a wheelchair for something stupid that you did, which caused you to be in a wheelchair, you tell me whether or not if YOU can have relations with another person. Don’t sit there and tell me what I can and cannot do, because you do not even know who I am. You’ve never met me, you do not know what my own limitations are. And neither do any of you know of the relationships I have had in the past with women, and what I have or have not done with them. Open your mind because there is no way that you can say for sure what I (or others who are also in wheelchairs) can or cannot do. Why? Because you don’t have the lives that we do and will never know what we have to endure to get by every day. So either think before you speak, or shut the fuck up!”.
 
I was infuriated and very pissed off. It didn’t calm the debate down by a long shot, but I got out what I needed and wanted to say.
 
I realize that a lot of people don’t fully understand what I have to go through in life. I also realize that when I tell them, that it might be difficult for them to visualize. And that’s because they don’t have to go through it themselves. Doesn’t make them stupid, it makes them without knowledge and unaware.
 
The same thing happens when I tell people that I play sledge hockey. Automatically, their minds have this visual of people in wheelchairs on ice. But that’s not what the sport is about. And I have to walk them through it and explain it to them so that they have a better understanding.
 
I do not know what it is like to drive, jump rope, or go rock climbing. Doesn’t mean I should bash on those who do. And that’s exactly what these people were doing! Their assumptions that physically handicapped people and their limitations go so far. And in their minds, it wasn’t far at all.
 
Everyone has their own opinion. But at some point, there comes a time where sometimes that opinion should be quietly withheld. And that statement is MY OPINION.
 
If this group of people would have either just agreed or disagreed that the t-shirt image was funny and dropped it, this explosion of anger wouldn’t have happened. I was not the only ones involved in the conversation that were angry either. But for those who were, I couldn’t really get a word in, except for the above stated quote.
 
As far as the t-shirt goes, I’m glad that it was brought to my attention. And most likely I WILL purchase it from eBay. Why? Because to me- its funny.
 
 
 
 
 
 

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”~ Thomas Kempis

Angry. Pissed off. Ticked off. Hacked off. Boiled over. All of these things are used to describe a person’s anger.

There are two kinds of basic emotions. Fear and love. Anger stems from fear, and not love.

Anger is an automatic response to ill treatment. It is the way a person indicates he or she will not tolerate certain types of behavior. It is a mechanism that we fire back in which an unpleasant stimulus is met with an unpleasant response.

Anger is an emotion related to one’s psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged or denied and a tendency to undo that, commonly by retaliation.

But I feel that we can go deeper into this. It is my feeling that anger comes from the loss of control. Once we realize that we have lost control over something, anger is our way of responding to it to show that we find the result unsatisfactory.

Our body language commonly shows the signs of anger. Much like the wild beasts, we snarl and growl and give off facial expressions that allows others to know, we are not happy.

But I think that it is correct to say that it stems from fear. When something happens that we lost control over, we are fearing what could happen next because the end results are not going to be what we had expected it to be. We can no longer guide our destiny as we once were, and so we’re left with the outpouring of this particular part of emotion of fear, by expressing that we are really pissed off.

There are a lot of things that cause us to be angry, some of them include:

  • Other drivers.
  • Being placed on hold with a business or customer service, or being handed off from one person to the next, and spending all that time doing so.
  • Our perception of other people’s activities and actions that we believe to be wrong.

I believe that it is very natural to be angry. However, I do think that there is a right and a wrong way to handle our negative emotional state.

Everybody has heard the phrase, “anger management”. Hollywood did a marvelous job in portraying a more funny side of it. But there are some people who would definitely be considered a good candidate for anger management in reality.

Being angry is done by choice. You choose to be angry. Those people who could most benefit from managing their anger have a problem with knowing when to stop being angry and they allow themselves to be in a cycle, rather than just going through the steps and motions of being angry. They repeat it over and over and over again.

This is how anger begins.

1. The Trigger. Something has caused us to become angry. Whether it be loss, or words, or actions or anything else that will “trigger” the emotion.

2. Internal Angry Reaction. At this point, you realize that something is different and that it is unpleasant.

3. Internal Intensification. The point in time in which your body begins to justify its emotions, most of the time people with anger problems justify their anger improperly based on false assumptions. Internally, there is an onset of chemical release, and such things as your heart rate and breathing increase dramatically.

4. External Barrier Break. The more obvious signs of anger that others can clearly identify. Such as screaming, shouting, crying, gesturing, and fist pumping.

5. Explosive Peak. This stage is prone towards the violent and physical side of expressing anger. Dangerous to oneself and others. This is also the stage in which people may react verbally, and ultimately say something that they did not mean.

6. Exhaustion and Withdrawal. The emotion of anger, or at least the majority of it  

7. Remorse and Apology — or – Intense Justification. The final stage of anger. The realization that someone might have said something that they didn’t mean, and now they are feeling remorse and regret. Those who realize their errors use this time to apologize for their outburst.

8. Repeat. For many of us who do not have issue with anger problems, this stage doesn’t always apply. Those who do, always hit this stage and return swiftly back to number one.

Breaking the anger cycle begins with developing awareness of your personal triggers and identifying opportunities to change your reactions. If anger is a choice, then we should probably take note to our triggers. And if again those triggers come up, we might find the strength within us to attempt to deal with it in another way, rather than anger. It is not always easy to do that though.

I still believe that anger is a natural human response, even if it is a choice. Expressing anger is far better than suppressing it. Studies show that women live on an average of 10 years longer than men. And it could be related to the fact that women have an easier time expressing anger than men. But I can’t say that is for sure.

Life has never been designed for control. We are not supposed to be puppets on a string. We would absolutely hate it if we were. Just think about whether or not YOU would want to be pulled around by strings, I doubt that you would.

So then when we do lose control, we become angry. Never keep it bottled up inside of you. It only does so much damage to your body, both physically and mentally. Keep track of what is triggering your anger. Then move towards a Plan B, if you are your own cause for anger and frustration. Fix what needs to be fixed.

Remember, there is a difference between expressing your anger and taking it out on someone. Know what those lines are and stay away from causing yourself and your relationships so much harm and damage, and at the same time, allow your mental state to be clean and healthy. Deal with whatever it is you must deal with. Learn from mistakes if there are any, and press on in life.