Posts Tagged ‘apology’

Forgiveness

Posted: March 29, 2012 in Uncategorized
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“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.”~ Hannah Arendt

As I was saying my farewells to the physical therapist, I began a series of jokes as I was picking on her.

But one thing came to mind. Inside my warped head, it sounded really funny and still along the lines of only poking fun.

When it came out, it wasn’t the same as it was when I was saying it in my mind. In fact when the picking on was actually verbalized, it truly came across as rude and inappropriate.

The physical therapist then proceeded to inform me that my words were very inappropriate. To which I immediately issued a quick form of an apology.

I had time to ponder on it. And five hours later, I sent a text message to her and apologized in the manner that it needed to be. Her response though was more of a sign of what I believe true forgiveness is all about.

She said to me that it was not a big deal and in fact that she had forgotten what I had said that was inappropriate.

To me, that was clear and cut “forgive and forget”. Something that you don’t usually hear being practiced or used a lot any more. Not to say that it doesn’t happen, you just don’t hear about it too much.

As I sent the text message I began to feel better because I did what I thought that I had to do in order to make things right. Having her actually not remember and be confused as to what I was talking about was the other end of the transaction of forgiveness.

It is my own personal hope that when we say that we forgive someone, that it is genuine and honest. Whatever that person had done or said to you that required the admission of regret, that it would be in the rear view mirror from that point on. Instead of holding the grudge to use it as ammunition for when we mess up and they are the ones that we need to apologize to. And to use it when we feel that they are not letting it go or forgiving us.

It takes a very strong person to say “I’m sorry”. But it takes a stronger person to say “I forgive you.”

“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” ~Lynn Johnston

An apology is define as “an expression of sympathy, pity, or regret.”

We can be sorry to find the news that someone is having a rough time. We also can be sorry to know that the person’s negative situation has become worse. But we can also be sorry because we have feelings of regret from what we have said or done.

In the English language, an apology can be expressed by using just two words: “I’m sorry.” It doesn’t take a lot of breath and it doesn’t take a lot of time to express. Two words. More and more I am finding that the English language can be used to say so much by saying so very little.

Situations happen in life to where we must apologize to another person. Or that they must apologize to us because of some kind of circumstance in which that person had done wrong. And a lot of what was previously broken can be fixed by simply offering that expression of regret. Yet it is only half of the link because the person receiving the apology must be willing to forgive and forget.

No matter what we do in life, we’re going to make mistakes. We’re all human and full of fallacies. Once we realize that what we have done or what we have said was wrong, that feeling of shame and regret swallows us whole to the point where we feel that because of what happened, the world has now become totally FUBAR.

Once we apologize though, we get that feeling of the weight being lifted off of us and we begin to heal and feel better. Then all can be right in the world once more. All it takes, is two spoken words.

I’ve done my share of wretched and stupid things. I’ve said things that I shouldn’t have and done things that should not have been done. And I have also felt that regret. When I do, it feels like the biggest and darkest suffocating cloud is surrounding me until I am able to offer an apology in which I had done wrong. Whether or not they tell me that it is forgiven, is their choice but I know that I have expressed my remorse for my words & actions and expressed to them that I am acknowledging what was done was wrong towards them.

There’s a lot of situations in this world that can be solved as well as healed with an apology. Someone must have the strength to say it though. Too many people are at war with one another and they don’t have to be, if only one of them would say they were sorry. And this is not to say who to point the blame to either. When the olive branch is extended, it should be treated as such- no matter who was at fault.

There are some people that have done wrong to me. And I know that if they were to just come to me and say that they were sorry, then the relationship can begin to heal.

So think about it when you’re so angry and pissed off because something happened that went really bad for you. Could the situation be solved with an apology? If you think so, then do it!

Showing or expressing regret is often necessary. A lot of people just don’t know how to do that. And that in and of itself is a shame. Nonetheless, often an apology is just the right thing to say and do in many situations in life where two or more people are fighting so much that their relationships are being torn apart because they focus more on their anger, wrath, and revenge rather than admitting their guilt and remorse.