Voting In The Face Of Despair And Agony

Shannon D.

“If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.”~ Emma Goldman

Yesterday it was brought to my attention about this contest by People Magazine.

It is called “PEOPLE’s Real Beauty At Every Age.”

Contestants submit a photograph and then the general public votes.

And for once, this was a contest where voting was allowed that you did NOT have to sign up for anything. You weren’t going to be issued future spam by the contest holder. And it was free to vote.

And you were also allowed to vote as many times as you wanted.

I had seen contestants that had hundreds of thousands of votes.

From what I am understanding a winner will be chosen from each decade (20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s etc.) by People Magazine and will be featured in a future issue.

The only reason why I know about it is because it was posted on Facebook and I went to see what the fuss was about.

This 31 year old woman named Shannon from Idaho Falls, Idaho was being featured in this Facebook post and come to find out that Shannon lives her life to help others every day and gives back to anyone that needs help. So selfless! And not to mention pretty.

But I was told “no flirting!” with her.

We were there to vote. And vote I did. In the 24+ hours that I knew that this contest existed I punched that button and clicked so many times that at last check she was over 9,000 votes.

Unfortunately this afternoon during a time of the day where this had actually slipped my mind that it was going on I had banged the side of my hand really hard against a table and its been throbbing and hurting ever since. Sadly its the same hand I use to control the computer mouse with. All the clicking and refreshing and voting came with a painful price.

But I kept on doing it.

As much as Shannon D. is selfless…. my voting through the agony of my arm hurting was my way of being selfless in return. I did stop and take a break when the pain was getting too bad. But when it would pass, I would go back and vote some more with the boring and tedious process of clicking and refreshing and then clicking again. Then repeating the process many times over.

Shannon thought that the voting ended at midnight Eastern time.. but I am still voting. So who knows when this is going to really end.

If you like what you see and wish to vote for this wonderful person then you can take your chances with the link provided below.

But be warned: I don’t know when they will close the voting. You don’t have to pay for anything or sign up for anything. Just click, vote, and hit refresh and vote as many time as you would like.

As for me and my hand and arm….. we’re defeated and I can no longer withstand the repetitive process any more.

I hope Shannon does well. She is at this point in the top 18 of all contests. I’d like to see her at least get to the top ten.

Vote for Shannon (if you can):

http://specials.people.com/realbeauty/?id=55506

Beauty, Respect, And My Mouth

“Well for ‘a brief shining moment’…and then that mouth”~ Michael Caine in “Miss Congeniality” [2000]

In my short life online, I have to say that I have stumbled and mixed paths with some very beautiful women. And in the beginning, I knew that kindness and respect would get me far. But back then, ashamed to say that it didn’t actually last too long before I gave them the unusual impression that I was some kind of maniacal marauder.

Why? Because of my mouth.

It was awful that I had said something so quizzical to someone that it would be misconstrued. The next thing I know, they vanish forever. And probably offended to the most degree.

Looking back, I honestly regret having said what I did. And understanding HOW that might have been a bad thing. Lessons learned over the course of several years before I learned to relax and just take things one conversation at a time. And actually take time to think and re-think and then re-think again before I say much of anything.

But the mouth returns and gets in the way and just blows everything into bits.

I’ve abandoned the complete and total adulation conversation for the most part. Through experience and watching others, the adulation is nothing that these women hasn’t heard before by anyone else. So why in the world would I believe that I would stand out? One doesn’t necessarily stand out when joining the masses of others who have gotten out of control to speak their opinions about how gorgeous, beautiful, and sexy some woman is.

I’ve learned that models, personalities, and “small time celebrities” are human too. Complete with feelings and opinions of their own. And they are none too shy to express that, when you are talking with them and acting like a complete and total ass hat.

Almost ten years ago, I was chatting with a woman from Hollywood, California. And even though everyone who reads this blog knows how I feel about all of that, I was attempting to get passed all of that and actually KNOW the woman. She was a performer of sorts. So I casually brought up the question of what it would take (money wise) to have her come local and perform.

When she gave her price, which was seriously high, I sat there blinking and staring at the screen thinking what in the world could cost THAT much money! She also insisted on paying for airfare and a place to sleep, which I did think was fair. But both items didn’t actually cost that much money. So then: enter my mouth.

What I told her was a legit concern. I was worried about spending so much money for her to do what she does and then just leave and return home. To me, it wasn’t worth it so I asked her if she was willing to do something more than that so that it would be worth that high price in my mind. But it came across to HER like I was propositioning her for a little “somethin-somethin” on the side.

Needless to say that she vanished within a month after that conversation online.

I could see the problem and it was an accident, a  mistake. But I could still see why she split!

And then a little more than a year ago it happened again with an author that I was attempting to get across my point that I wanted an autograph. She doesn’t live nearby so it would take some money and travel in order to personally receive her autograph. And I went on and on about how expensive that would be to me and what not. I was very comfortable giving her my mailing address to see what she might sign and put in the mail.  Again, the mouth got in the way. Even though she attempted to bring up a tentative invitation of having lunch or coffee.

I have since then learned to pull back and tone it down…. A LOT!

I always get the generous invitation and then my mouth turns around and spoils it.

If I do not respect these women, then I shouldn’t expect them to respond kindly.

I think that though it is totally awesome that when these kinds of things happen with certain women and they offer a tentative time for lunch or coffee or drinks with their family and/or husband, that it should tell me that they are trusting in me enough to do something so bold. And that I have EARNED their trust. I think that it comes from each and every time I have spoken to these women that I have been nice, social, kind, as well as respectful. Particularly when there is a mention of a husband.

 

Why wouldn’t there be a husband? I think that these women are very attractive, so its not a surprise that they would be married for years already. But they are showing their trust in me and that really needs to sink in.

Also I should learn that when these women are willing enough to offer something like that. I just need to be thankful towards them and then after that? SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

I should not complain about the difficulty, I should not complain about the hardship in order to make it happen. Rather I should stop talking and then later on try to figure out a way TO MAKE it happen!

Very early this morning I received yet another generous invitation. It was the “if you are ever in the area….” conversations. The thing is that it was the second time she had mentioned it. And instead of seeing that she was quite serious and friendly about her invitation, I opened my mouth about how I could take a day trip and make all kinds of fun about it, but after the holidays.

Saying crap like that can often lead to a retraction of someone’s invitation. Its happened to me before. I hope however, that this most recent flap of the lips didn’t do any damage at all.

I hope that my brief stories of experiences will be a warning to some. Telling someone that you think they are beautiful isn’t a crime. However, going on and on and on about it gets old fast. More than likely, they’ve already heard it before so many times that it just flies over their heads as they ignore it all.

There’s nothing wrong with thinking that someone is beautiful or sexy. However if you vomit your opinion on someone, all you are doing is getting them dirty and they aren’t going to like it all that much and so their first impression of you is automatically negative.  

Will you stand out in their mind? Maybe. But if you do, it might not be what you were wanting.

Men and women DO have feelings just like yourself. If you’re just trying to jump in the sack with someone that you just saw and thought that they really flip your pancakes, chances are that if you take that route of trying to gain their attention, you may get their attention. But your pancakes are going to burn.

Stop burning your pancakes. Treat other people with respect.

And this goes for me as well as others– learn to shut up. Less can be more in this situation.

I’m actually stunned most of the time when I see the comments and posts made by men that are constantly the same. And then they say the same to other women. As if they are spreading around their so-called complimentary words thinking that eventually one of them are going to take the bait.

Nine times out of ten, its going to be ignored. Sad to say that in my early years of being online, I did nearly the same thing. I did however, learn not to vomit on women. Sometimes my mouth will cause a little spit up as I struggle with learning to shut up, but a little drool is a lot easier to clean up than verbal vomit.

I get so frustrated at times when I read these kinds of comments. It makes me want to reach into the monitor and choke them and try to slap some sense into them. But that’s never going to happen. And I suppose that when they are in this habit of doing crap like that, then the chances of them learning the mistake is less and less.

For lack of a good analogy: Let sleeping dogs lie.

Express yourself but do it with respect towards others. Learn to leave it alone.

 

 

 

 

The Mask Of Great Insensitivity

 

“Maybe you should stop staring and start learning.”~ Lizzie Velasquez

23 year old Lizzie Velasquez was introduced to me via YouTube today. Apparently, she has undeservingly been given the title “The Ugliest Woman in the World.”

Lizzie is one of three people in the entire world who has the same undiscovered condition. She was born without adipose tissue. She has no body fat. She cannot gain weight and must eat dozens of times a day.

She is an author and a motivational speaker. And apparently the news that I received today was that there was a group of people on the Internet who gave her this terribly insensitive title.

Now I know that beauty has always been in the eye of the beholder. But whomever it was that said she is the ugliest woman in the world obviously has some issues of their own.

This cruel behavior isn’t going unnoticed. In fact, I do not think that Lizzie is ugly at all!

However the Internet is truly the best opportunity for people to hide themselves. These people who have been bullying her, picking on her, have been hiding behind their computers when they have said such cruel comments about her physical looks.

Being someone who “isn’t quite like everyone else”, I can understand (to a point) of what she is dealing with. And that I know for a fact that these insensitive pricks are NO BETTER than Lizzie.

The Internet is quite frankly a den of people that are disgusting, callous, sad, and yes I’ll say it- very pathetic.  But this is more in reference for those who use the Internet to hide their TRUE selves. Even though anonymity is often a safety measure and the Internet definitely provides that, it is these kinds of people who also use it to their advantage.

I’ve had experiences of “meeting people” and when I was only asking questions to get to know these people better and they cut me off and disabled the capability for me to communicate with them. And it wasn’t really because I was “getting too personal” or whatever lousy excuse that they wanted to give, it was because I was “getting too close to the truth” about them. And they obviously had something to hide.

I don’t think that these bullies of Lizzie are any different. I believe that they ALL have something that society and possibly the WORLD would categorize that there’s “something wrong” with them. I can almost get the sense that the people who have been bullying Lizzie knows that they have their own insecurity issues and have decided to pick on her. And the only reason why they have decided to pick on her is to make themselves feel better.

I agree with her statement. Stop staring and start learning! If people would remember this, then at least in my own personal experience, people wouldn’t stare and assume as to why I am in a wheelchair.

Ugliest woman in the world? Absolutely NOT!!!

People honestly could learn from her message that she shares with people.

As a matter of fact, I did learn that she’s from my area.

Lizzie: if you are out there and reading this,  I’d LOVE to meet you!!!!

Going Beyond Skin Deep

Beauty is a characteristic of a person that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning, or satisfaction.

And I might as well add that beauty is also defined through the eyes of the beholder. What one person can define as beautiful may not be what another person would define it.

Is beauty only skin deep? Well, physical beauty is. We grow old, get wrinkles, our hair and teeth fall out. But so what? This doesn’t mean that once these things begin to happen to us that we cease to be beautiful! That only means that we are going through the entire cycle of life.

But there are other things that make people beautiful. And it is frustrating for me personally, that so many fail to see that. There is such thing as “inner beauty”. But it does not seem to make a bit of difference in this society today. It seems as if the infatuation with beauty is only that physical beauty. And unfortunately, others are influenced by that entire way of thinking. Just because a woman is not a 36-24-36, causes so many women to fall into the traps of insecurity and the feelings of being ugly and never beautiful.

The same for men. Just because we don’t have abs of steel and fully loaded arms of biceps that could choke a horse, doesn’t necessarily mean that men are not beautiful either.

So it becomes extremely frustrating when I tell a woman who I think is beautiful and everything just falls apart for them. Why? Because for whatever reason she has felt that she is not meeting the standards of beauty. What they are not hearing from me is that I am telling them that there is a specific characteristic about them that I find genuinely attractive. So I am drawn to it, and therefore “I” believe that woman is beautiful.

I got laughed at and ridiculed a while ago because I was amongst other guys and they were talking about the last person they had kissed. When I had disclosed the person with whom I last shared any kind of kiss with, I was totally mocked because these men were not thinking of her as beautiful. Simply because she did not meet their arrogant standards of physical beauty. But I didn’t care.

Let’s just set aside for the moment that I am just the kind of person who is affectionate, but I found something within this woman attractive. And it had nothing to do with her bra or waist size or how she potentially would look in a bikini. And they could not understand that.

If I say to you, “You are a beautiful person”… then you best believe that I totally mean it and have all beliefs and faith in my words that they are true, to me. And I am not setting out to gain something by flattery or just trying to make your mood better. What I have said, I have meant.

It has gone on far long enough that OTHERS are the ones who define what beautiful is, and my own opinion means nothing. My opinion does mean something, and it should to you if I am comfortable enough talking to you and expressing it. Naturally as a human being you have the right to disagree. But do you disagree because OTHERS have said that you are NOT beautiful and are instead ugly? Or is it some other kind of insecurity that plagues you to the point that it forces you to just roll your eyes at me?

I honestly do not care if others disagree. But I will stand behind those who would dare to agree. We should learn to love ourselves and not be so wildly influenced by the mottos of other persons.

Whether it is on the outside or on the inside, that characteristic remains within. And that is what draws me to my beliefs. Many people have called me “sweet, nice, thoughtful” and other things. My response is always the same: Love me or leave me.

If you are being told by someone else that you are not beautiful, because you don’t have the long flowing hair, fake boobs and everything else or because you do not have those six-pack abs… then LOVE yourself and LEAVE them. Focus less on their negativity.

I could go on forever explaining how you are so wonderfully beautiful deep down inside, and I don’t care if you do not look like “the others like in Hollywood”. Because I will never allow Hollywood to shape and mold my own definitions and opinions on what I find pleasurable.

So be proud of yourself. Love yourself because even if Hollywood nor the rest of the world just never thinks you can cut it to be beautiful, there’s always going to be that one person whom you never see, that will disagree with them all.