A Plea To The World

“A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.”~Christopher Morley

In my youthful age, I have been fortunate enough to pay attention to certain things that would to most, seem mundane and minimal. I thank my lucky stars to have the common decency and sense to remembered things that would later serve a purpose in life, no matter how large the scale.

I’m talking about the treatment of pregnant women by men.

And therefore I send forth my plea to men… PLEASE STOP PISSING OFF PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think that by now, men in general realize not to mess with a woman who is dealing with her period. But there really can’t be much said for those who know not to, and still do it. These men are beyond help.

But it’s recently come to my attention that the hormones in pregnant women…. well… guys seriously, there’s no other way of putting it. If you mess with a pregnant woman, you’re gonna get tore up.

So now I give you the TOP FIVE incidents that I had personally witnessed to of men messing with a pregnant and the disastrous consequences thereafter. Of course, I believe this kind of thing happens every day, and it shouldn’t. But these are the ones that I am aware of.

Here we go!!!!

#5 – Little Rock National Airport. Mid-1980’s. My grandmother would often visit my family from Michigan. She would fly to Arkansas and spend what seemed like to us at the time, almost an eternity. But once the entire family went as we were giving grandmother a ride to the airport so that she could return home. She unfortunately had missed her flight. So she was made to wait for another flight to leave. And the family stayed. Meanwhile, there was a couple that was sitting directly behind my seat and I could overhear their conversations. Mainly because they were being loud and obnoxious. Ahh, young love in the 80’s!!!

So the woman told her lover/boyfriend/whatever, as she began to weep, that she went to her doctor and found out that she was about a month or so pregnant. To which the response out of him was “Ohhh thank God!! I thought it was you who was stealing my fuckin’ Star Crunches out of the pantry. Baby, I didn’t know how to tell you, but your booty is starting to get large.” 

About this time I did glance back behind me, only to find the woman’s hands around the guy’s throat as the man was drooling and slobbering on himself, gasping for air before airport security escorted both man and woman away, and in different directions with the assistance of local police. 

#4- Sedgewick County Zoo, Wichita, Kansas. Late 1980’s. After being at what I could gather was some random conference for teens, to learn about the dangers about teen pregnancies and what not, one female participant had apparently been feeling guilty because she was pregnant with her boyfriend’s child. The teen couple had taken the summer day off to go to the zoo and they happened to be at the tiger exhibit at the same time I was. To which the girl confessed that she was pregnant with his baby. (I could only make such a theory based on the t-shirts they both were wearing at the time.)

The boyfriend then did that stereotypical macho garbage move and told her that when they had left the zoo, that they were going to buy a home pregnancy kit. And if it came to be that she was in fact pregnant, that he was leaving her.

After a few seconds of cursing, religious blasphemy, and swearing, I was quickly moved on to the next area of the zoo for my own safety.

Later I would get ill from eating something bad at the concession stand at the zoo and would be still awake after my supposed “bedtime” and long enough to be awake for the late night news where it was then reported about how a young teenage girl was arrested for attempting to throw her boyfriend into the tiger cage. Luckily for him, the tigers were sleeping and didn’t notice anything.

#3- Wedding Reception. Rhode Island. 2008. During the time that I was with my last girlfriend, I as the “boyfriend” was swiftly taken away to the New England states in order to attend the wedding of my girlfriend’s older brother. It was a most uncomfortable scene as I was very much made aware that my girlfriend’s ex-husband was best friends with the groom-to-be and was going to be in attendance.

I did not see him at the wedding ceremony itself though. I’m getting off track here. Back to the reception.

At the reception, was a young newlywed couple of probably no more than five years. And the woman was pregnant and showing. And her misguided husband attempted to take the role of food patrol for his wife, very publicly announcing to her that she had “had enough” wedding cake to eat. (In reality, was only a second piece since the first one was so thinly sliced.)

Saying nothing to her husband, she handed him the cake and he turned away to look for a place to dispose of the unwanted pastry. Only for others there to have been there to witness the wife standing up, folding up her chair that she was sitting in and proceeding to beat the living shit out of her husband with it.

As I was given to understand, the ink on the divorce papers were dried and served. Evidently she had cleaned him out and took the children with her by the time I left my ex LESS than a year later.

#2- Fundraising sporting event. Austin, Texas. 2010. This one, I should admit to not witnessing…. but rather reading about it. And then speaking to someone who was actually there. But it was later reported to be true in the news.

After paying $50 a piece to see a baseball game that was going to be played by “local celebrities” and other noted citizens to battle cancer, a pregnant wife was having trouble getting up into the stands where her seat was, as was printed by her ticket. Her husband was nowhere to be found for assistance and she had to rely on the kindness of strangers to hold her by the hand so that she could walk up to her seat.

During the game, her water broke. And where was her husband? Chatting it up with a local FEMALE news anchor on the other side of the field, doing and talking about who knows what. She had sent her husband a text message to alert him that her water broke and their child was on the way to be born. To which the answer by her husband was “But the game isn’t even over yet. And I’m way over here. What do U want me 2 do about it??”

By the time the other spectators had helped her down the stairs from the stands and escorted her to her car, she took the keys herself, and drove over to the general location of her husband. But she was not there to pick him up, but to mow him down while the natural flow of things continued to ruin the husband’s vehicle’s upholstery on the driver’s side. Narrowly missing her husband, taking out a news camera that was standing on a tripod to record film of the game in progress and side-swiping her husband’s newly found company before driving off to the hospital alone. 

#1- Lunch Out at Applebee’s. Austin, Texas. 2013. So by now a few people who have been reading this blog know that every once in a while, there will be an activity of going out to lunch with my neighbors of the apartment complex. And they also know that some of the neighbors love to pick on me because 99% of the time, I will order a dessert. And they just sit there eagerly awaiting to see what sugary delight I am going to order at the end of the meal.

The demise of the day: Triple Chocolate Meltdown.

And for once, someone ELSE overheard me talking and from that had based their decision that they too, wanted dessert. It was a pregnant woman who was sitting at a booth off to my left.

The man that was with her, presuming it was her husband or boyfriend. Or at the very least the father of her unborn child, he questioned her decision and asked her if whether or not she thought and felt that she was getting big enough. The reference being her pregnant belly as he pointed to it.

The expecting mother reached across the table to slap him, knocking over his iced tea in the process that splashed all over his nice work clothes and neck tie. So in a sense, a double whammy. First the slap, then the spill. Growing up, we used to call them “two-fers” because two things happened in one instance.

The man got up and looked at her wondering why in the world she would do something to him like that and yelled “What the fuck is your problem?” and then proceeded to freak out about his clothes and whether or not he was going to make it to his rather important meeting after they had finished with lunch.

Why do people seem to think its okay to scream obscenities at the top of their lungs when in public???? I’ve never understood that.

So anywhoodles… the pregnant woman ambled her way to her feet and straightened herself out before lifting her leg behind her and putting as much force behind the swing through. The result was that she had kicked him square into the testicular regions, where he had lost all fortitude and then said back to him, “Just order the goddamned dessert and shut the fuck up. Its because of YOU that I’m like this. Remember that!!!”

Needless to say that I took an alternate route to leave the restaurant as I did not want to feel any kind of residual wrath that may be lingering. The man just sat there in silence with tons of sweat pouring from his forehead as his face turned all kinds of colors in his face, but he never said another word for as long as I was sitting there.

I honestly could go on, but these are only FIVE examples. The history of the world is flooded with these kinds of things happening because someone said something to a pregnant woman. And honestly………. its not that difficult, WATCH WHAT YOU SAY!!

This is why some women get away with murder. I’m just saying!

A person should watch what they say in the first place, but especially around pregnant women. Because much like a woman who is experiencing her “time” of the month, you never really know what’s going to set her off and what she is capable of doing.

So this is basically a Dambreaker PSA for you. I AM PLEADING…. STOP PISSING OFF PREGNANT WOMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I guarantee you– you will live much longer.

Panhandling

“Grant me the treasure of sublime poverty: permit the distinctive sign of our order to be that it does not possess anything of its own beneath the sun, for the glory of your name, and that it have no other patrimony than begging. “~ Francis of Assisi

One half mile up, one half mile back is all that I went and I got nailed TWICE by panhandlers. The first sitting calmly at a bus stop that I passed by, the other one in the middle of the sidewalk with nowhere to run.

I believe that the first person believed he knew that what he was asking for, was probably wrong so when I said “NO”, his response was “Okay, thanks.”

The second person was a bit unavoidable as I was going to pass him up on the sidewalk. He asked me to give him any spare money that I may have. Not spare change, spare money. Honestly, I have never heard of spare money.

And even the second person probably knew that he was doing wrong when he replied back with: “That’s okay.”

Actually, is it?? Is it okay for him to have stepped right into my path on the sidewalk to ask me for money? I did some quick research about panhandling and begging.

The definition of so called “Aggressive panhandling“ may vary. In the USA, aggressive panhandling generally involves the solicitation of donations in an intimidating or intrusive manner. Examples may include:

• Soliciting near ATM banking machines.
• Soliciting from customers inside a store or restaurant.
• Soliciting after dark.
• Approaching individuals from behind, as they are exiting their vehicles, to solicit.
• Soliciting in a loud voice, often accompanied with wild gesticulations.
• The use of insults, profanity, or veiled threats.
• Refusing to take “No” for an answer or following an individual.
• Demanding more money after a donation has been given.
• Invasion of personal space, cornering, blocking or inappropriate touching.
• A “team” of several beggars approaching an individual at once, often surrounding the person.
• “Camping out” in a spot where begging negatively influences some other business (such as in front of a store or restaurant) in the hope that the business owner will give money to make the beggar go away.

In 2004, the city of  Orlando, Florida passed an ordinance (Orlando Municipal Code section 43.86) requiring panhandlers to obtain a permit from the municipal police department. The ordinance further makes it a crime to panhandle in the commercial core of downtown Orlando, as well as within 50 feet (15 m) of any bank or automated teller machine. It is also considered a crime in Orlando for panhandlers to make false or untrue statements, or to disguise themselves, to solicit money, and to use money obtained for a claim of a specific purpose (e.g. food) to be spent on anything else (e.g. drugs).

In Santa Cruz, CA, there are regulations for panhandlers on where they can and cannot “spange” (beg for “spare change”). For example, they must be a certain distance away from the door of any business.

In parts of San Francisco, CA, aggressive panhandling is prohibited.

In May 2010, police in the city of Boston started cracking down on panhandling in the streets in downtown, and were conducting an educational outreach to residents advising them not to give to panhandlers. The Boston police distinguished active solicitation, or aggressive panhandling, versus passive panhandling of which an example is opening doors at store with a cup in hand but saying nothing.

9.23.030 Place of panhandling – Violation. It shall be unlawful for any person to panhandle when the person solicited is in any of the following places within the city limits of Longview, Washington:

• (1) At any bus stop; or
• (2) In any public transportation vehicle or facility; or
• (3) In any vehicle on a street or on a driveway providing ingress or egress to a street where such driveway is open to the general public; or
• (4) Within 50 feet of any automated teller machine (ATM); or
• (5) On private property, unless the panhandler is in physical possession of written permission from the owner or lawful occupant thereof. (Ord. 3051 § 2, 2008).

9.23.040 Manner of panhandling – Violation. It shall be unlawful for any person to panhandle in any of the following manners:

• (1) By intentionally coming within three feet of the person solicited, unless that person has indicated that he or she does wish to make a donation; or
• (2) By intentionally obstructing the path of the person or vehicle of the person solicited; or
• (3) By intentionally obstructing the passage through the entrance or exit of any building; or
• (4) By soliciting anyone under the age of 16; or
• (5) By following a person who walks away from the panhandler, if the panhandler’s conduct is intended to or is reasonably likely to intimidate the person being solicited into responding affirmatively to the solicitation; or
• (6) By using profane or abusive language, either during the solicitation or following a refusal. (Ord. 3051 § 2, 2008).

In Austin, Texas:

County Judge J. David Phillips has upheld a 2005 Municipal Court ruling that a city ordinance banning the solicitation of drivers is unconstitutional under the First Amendment.

The ruling comes after John Francis Curran was arrested in June 2003 for violating a section (16-1-20) of the Code of the City of Austin prohibiting the solicitation of motor vehicles when he stood on an Austin street corner with a sign saying “Donations of any kind will help.”

Apparently, its against someone’s right to free speech to stop a person from the urge to beg in the streets of Austin, Texas. And that is probably why there seems to be someone with a cardboard sign on just about every major intersection of street and highway.

Some of these signs are actually creative! One sign that I have seen said, “Need fuel for space craft to link up to mother ship.” Others are quite truthful. “Why lie? I need a beer!”. In which we all know that the percentage is so high to know that’s what they are doing with the funds they receive anyways.

Many panhandling signs seem to have a few things in common:

They say that they are a vet…. another thing that is usually always there is “Anything Helps”…. and of course the final note to their non-verbal begging would be “God bless!”.

Nobody truly knows if these people are homeless veterans or not. So it is always wise to use caution when either you approach them or you allowing them to approach you.

One thing is for sure, they are out to feed their addiction to illegal drugs and alcohol. And this is why panhandling is viewed in a negative light. Because we already can assume that more times than not, the person begging for money is just going to purchase illegal drugs and alcohol.

There comes a time when many of us begin to fall on hard times. The economy is bad and what not, and so many people go to the streets to beg for money. There are those who are just out there to collect, and then there are those extremely rare cases when a person has fallen back on some serious hard times and the only way that they know to get back on their feet is to panhandle for money.

But it is not a clear line that separates the two. The ones who are in real need of help, often are blended in behind those who are not as sincere and are just out for personal and selfish gain.

In my personal opinion, for those who actually do need the help and are seeking it probably still have made the wrong decision. Simply because panhandling is never looked upon in a uplifting manner. Instead of looking for work, they look to beg. There are services and organizations that can help. Either they don’t know where to go, or just choose not to because they know that panhandling works so well.

On any given day, a panhandler can make anywhere up to $200-300 (USD) a day. In that case, heck- why work?!? Just beg. But that is something that I would never personally condone under any circumstances.

But still for myself, the negative experiences I have gone through in the past six years have started in this manner. Four or five of those started with someone coming up to me and asking me to give them something, whether it be money or cigarettes or whatever. And the end results turned to the fact that I had to physically defend myself because they were aggressive towards me when I told them “NO” in the first place.

When that second guy came, I was scared. I knew that he was going to ask for something. Although I was fairly certain that it was not going to be for cigarettes, he had two new packs in his hand, a lone cigarette and a lighter in the other. So obviously he did have money before to buy smokes. But it still made me worry a little bit if he was going to be aggressive. Thankfully he was not. Neither was the first.

In my own situation, I sometimes wonder if I should go out and panhandle. For two reasons.

#1- I experience hardship often more times than I admit to.

#2- With as many panhandlers as there are here, I wonder just how “sympathetic” the population would be towards a panhandler in a wheelchair? The science behind that theory baffles me. Would it be true that the population would give more to a person begging in a wheelchair, rather than someone walking up and down in the middle of the street??

So it seems as if panhandlers are using their right for free speech. Or so the state laws say that. But what about mine? Am I allowed to tell these people “NO!” if I do not want to give them anything, especially if they are so wasted out of their minds on illegal drugs and alcohol? And once they get aggressive towards me or someone else, where does the law come in on that?

Quite interesting to think about. EVERYONE involved should be protected by their rights to free speech. The panhandlers to ask, and the population to say “NO!”.