“The amateur porn business makes $11 billion a year. They don’t get bad reviews.”~ Joe Pantoliano
Last night I had one of the most wild surprises in my e-mail that I have ever received in the past 10 years.
All weekend long, I was receiving messages from a guy that I now regret ever giving my e-mail address to. He filled it everytime with some kind of URL that would link to some kind of pornographic website, all because he thought that I might find the female actress to be hot.
Suddenly, he wrote in the subject title “I FOUND YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT” in an e-mail. I guess I could have just deleted it, but I didn’t. What I would find is yet another URL to another pornographic website, but this time he had included his username and password. And instructions to one particular page.
I was to find a woman named “Lexy” and click on her page.
When I did, I saw the most horrifying, mysterious, and shocking thing that I never thought that I would see in my life.
“Lexxy” as it were, was a female porn actress and she had about 10 different videos on the page.
Very cautiously, I clicked on the shortest video there was. Knowing that I was not a fan of pornography. What I saw for the next 3 minutes and 42 seconds was rather intriguing as “Lexxy” was looking familiar for a strange reason that I could not wrap my mind around.
After that, I moved on. Clicked the second one beneath it. And then it all came to light. I realized why this “Lexxy” was so familiar.
“Lexxy” is an ex-girlfriend of mine. Not a cyber girlfriend, and not a long distance relationship girlfriend, an actual tangible relationship girlfriend.
Immediately I threw up. I didn’t even have time to think about moving towards the bathroom. It just came out, and came out strong and hard. My head spun, I was feeling faint and extremely disgusted.
I turned it off in total disbelief. I began to doubt the validity that it was her. I did some searching and it didn’t take that long to realize that in fact, it was her. Her face was the same, her voice. The only thing that was different was her body type which had obviously been altered for the industry.
I sat there wondering why she would do this. But then again, it didn’t surprise me. Considering the fact that after we had broken up, she was said to have been working at a strip club. Something that I never got confirmation on, but then again I didn’t really care as it was over between her and I. The only thing I could think of is that she went from exotic dancing to amateur pornography at some point.
What was bothering me about it is that when we were dating, we found out that we had a mutual fascination for tigers. The hypothetical question came up: If you can own a pair of male and female tigers, what would you name them?.
For the female, I said “Lexy”.
I’m guessing she held on to that to this day as it is now her “stage name”.
It still made me so violently sick to my stomach. No matter what the opinion that I hold on her would be.
I personally do not get into pornography. And that is for many reasons. Other than it being a moral issue.
Computer viruses are on all pornographic videos on the Internet. It will damage your computer and ultimately destroy it. Trojans and other things that are in the videos will connect to your computer and kill it. You can have the biggest and baddest anti-virus program built, and it will still attach itself to your machine.
I recall reading an article about the strangest Hollywood career changes. There was an Italian porn actress from the 1980’s that had gone from the porn industry into the Italian government. It struck me as odd, so I researched it.
It took just one click of the wrong website and my computer was toast.
I am also not a voyeur. I do not receive a thrill over watching someone else have sex. I would prefer not to be a part of the audience. That just isn’t in me. 
Pornography is dangerous as it is. Many people get addicted to it. And then they think that it is okay to take their addiction into the real world and treat women just the same as they see it on their videos. They do not realize that pornography to a certain degree is fake. It still is just another form of entertainment. No matter what your view on it is.
But I sure did get one heck of a surprise to have seen her. Especially like that!!!! I’m not sure exactly what I am going to do. Other than try to clean out my computer’s history and cookies and other files that connect my computer to that particular website. I definitely trashed the e-mail that contained the website. And I wrote back that I didn’t want any more of this guy’s porn. If he continues to send more, then I am going to block him from my e-mail.
He said he had thought it was my ex. So he definitely was going to share it with me to see if he was right or not…. and of course, he was.
I think though that I could have lived the rest of my life without having to have seen that.
Dambreaker 