Meanwhile Let The Butthurt Begin

It has been a while dear readers. I know, I know.

I haven’t forgotten about this blog or about the fabulous faithful disciples.

I’ve been busy with brand new projects and keeping other things in check.

But I just wanted to show you what I found in the mailbox today.

For some of you who do not know what I am talking about, there’s a link below at the bottom of this post.

I did it because I wanted to be part of the nostalgia. My t-shirt wardrobe (with the help of Dr. Froth and Ferverwear) soon will be expanding. It will be a necessary expenditure for what I have lined up ahead of me.

But no I am not abandoning this blog. 

Here’s the brand new t-shirt, and the story that goes with it .

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/heartbroken-dude-attacks-ex-girlfriend-and-ex-best-frie-1589294310

 

Campaign For The Pissed Off Ex

Okay readers, really quick… I saw this on Facebook.

I laughed, I cried, I got envious because we ALL could make a lot of money if we were so creative. I think that next time I WILL attempt to do something like this and see how far I can make it go.

And for those of you who are wondering, yes I DID buy a t-shirt.

http://teepspring.com/FUCKTODDANDJESSICA

Rent A Rebound

“My breakup with AT&T is final, and I’m done with Skype as the rebound guy.”~ Elayne Boosler

Thanks to the good people over at SourceFed, a YouTube channel full of umm… “news” …. I was made aware of this fine service that is available in the UK.

RENT A REBOUND helps create for you a lifestyle of a rebound boyfriend/girlfriend that will work over your ex’s senses to the point of absolutely jealousy and envy.

And that is the entire point of the service. A FAKE “significant other” or a bot, will be created just to fit your lifestyle on social media websites. And they will even create further fake “friends” for you so it seems as if you are suddenly the hottest commodity on the market. You know, now that you are single. Setting up fake fights over the Internet so that people will start paying more attention to you. And of course to make those exes of yours so insanely jealous that they’ll go crazy trying to figure out what they just left behind.

All of this for £399… about $500 USD.

So what do you think? Is this service worth it?? Is it something you would use?? Check out their website and then let me know in the comment section.

http://wish.co.uk/rent-a-rebound/

Breaking Up On Valentine’s Day: Part II

“If it’s illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!~Kurt Cobain

Amazingly enough, there’s been a big enough buzz about the previous post that I wrote over the subject of breaking up on Valentine’s Day that was done by a colleague by sending his significant other BLACK roses ON Valentine’s Day.

I don’t know why it became such a hot topic and why people were buzzing about the follow-up. But you, the reader, asked for it. Now prepare yourself for the dramatic conclusion in Part II.

The colleague as I now understand had delivered to TWO separate places that was intended to be on the holiday itself. One dozen was to be at the home and the other delivery was to be at her place of work. But the delivery at home came on the 13th. A day early. And they were both home at the time.

The doorbell rang and he got up from their little “love nest” of cuddling in the evening time as was their habit. Only to find out that it was the delivery of black roses and his not-so-kind letter of “Get out of my life!!” attached with the devious bouquet.

Instead he never answered the door and the delivery man was insistent on ringing the door bell. It alerted the girlfriend and she yelled at him to finally just answer the door. He said that he felt that he had to escape. So he ran upstairs far away from her as possible on the other end of his glorious multi-level home and locked himself inside of a bathroom.

He had expected that his girlfriend was going to be lazy and ignore the constant nagging of the door bell. But he was wrong and she answered it. Only to find this large box of what she assumed was roses being delivered to her. But confused when the delivery man read the note of “Get out of my life!” after all…. why would she have to get out of the delivery man’s life?? It didn’t make sense to her.

So she tipped the guy (evidently) and then opened the box, only to find that the roses that she thought were inside were in fact roses …… but BLACK.

What happened next, depends on which side that you wanna listen to and believe.

Being that I know the man in this relationship a lot easier, I will give you his side. Because HER side is unavailable.

He was hiding in the upstairs bathroom after he heard her cussing and screaming for several minutes. Then apparently she burst into tears asking “WHY??”aloud. Then there was more cursing and screaming and then she began to call out for him.

He faked as if he was using the toilet and apparently it took her several minutes to find him. He said that going upstairs was a mistake, that is of course IF he wanted to leave the house. At first he didn’t but after the constant nagging of her calling his name, he said he just wanted to slither out of the second story window and get out of there.

She found him. He FAILED to lock the door. But he also mentioned that he didn’t think that it would’ve mattered because she would have had the patience to wait him out.

But before he knew it, she was crying and screaming and wanting to know why he wanted her to leave. And she APPARENTLY didn’t give him enough time to answer any questions that she asked. Unless they were just rhetorical and coming from raw emotion.

She threw a few of the roses at him before she charged him in the hallway. The chase throughout the house began as he tried to escape to the downstairs. But she would catch him and start slapping and punching along his head and back.

The carrying sounds of her screaming wave after wave of obscenities alerted someone outside and they called the police. And that was the only thing that saved him after they showed up on the scene.

He has two black eyes, a broken nose and a chipped tooth in the front. His smile is for now, wrecked. But he’s got the cash to fix that.

She however was taken away and led to jail and he refused to pay to get her out. So as far as I personally can tell…. she’s still in jail awaiting a court appearance for beating his ass. I mean seriously– she tore him UP!!

He’s an idiot though to have thought that this wouldn’t happen to him.

He went to the hospital and then was released. That very night, he hired some illegal Mexicans to clear the house of her stuff and just to put it out on the lawn at the end of the long driveway. Nothing of hers remains inside the house.

He is expecting to receive a call whenever she is released from jail. I don’t know though if that has happened yet or not. He acts weird when he’s on pain medication. So I don’t talk to him or call him too much.

He suggests I call the police if she shows up here. But he doesn’t think she’ll take the walk all the way from one side of the city to the other. But “just in case” …. just call the cops.

Now he’s trying to get her fired from her job, since the company that she is working for is one that he personally owns.

So there’s your closure ladies and gentlemen.

The Best Day To Break Up Is Valentine’s Day?

Well, I have heard it all now.  

The perfect day for a colleague to break up with his serious girlfriend of eight and a half years, will be Valentine’s Day 2014.

He has spent over $129.99 in an arrangement of black long stemmed roses to be delivered either to her place of work or to her home.

Yep. Over $13 a piece!!!

Because he wants to break up with her.

The story seems to be cold-hearted and unfair and totally uncool.

Until you hear the reasons as to WHY he wants to break up with her.

He’s very well off, financially. He has everything he wants and more. But he got caught up with this woman so long ago, and has been losing his money like a broken pipeline from BP. Take that and you add the fact that her infidelities are insurmountable. She even attempted to crawl into my own pants once before. But Dambreaker Don’t Play Dat!!!

It sounds as if she’s been doing this since the beginning. But now he’s reached his limit. And this money that he is spending on delivering the black roses is nothing to him. As long as she takes the hint and leaves him alone for good.

I attempted to personally stop him from doing this. But he would not listen. I told him to break up with her personally. I even made the suggestion he use that money a lot better than black roses. But none of it went into his head.

So ladies out there, who are preparing to celebrate Single Awareness Day …. count your lucky stars that you are not this woman.

 

Tales Of The Lotto

“Here’s something to think about: How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? “~Jay Leno

First of all, Happy Birthday, S.K.! Much love to you on your birthday!

Today I bring to you two different tales of lottery winners. Both of them unique and impressive if I say so myself.

Andy & Nayel Ashkar from New York won a prize of $5 million dollars on a lotto ticket that they bought…………. SIX YEARS AGO.

That’s right, in 2006 the brothers had the winning ticket to that much money. One of the brothers however, was soon to be married and he wanted to make sure that his wife-to-be was going to marry him for his love and NOT for his money.

The brothers had eleven days before the winning lotto ticket was going to expire. So they finally turned it in to get their winnings.

In my opinion, I think that the engaged brother had the right idea to make sure that his bride would marry him for him, and not for his millions of dollars.

I also believe that waiting for a long time before turning it is a good idea. That way, you can estimate just how much you are going to receive and take the time to plan and budget on what you are actually going to do with all that cash. I think that it would help with dealing with the pressures of people coming to you asking for loans or monetary gifts. If you have decided what you are going to do with it all, and you have nothing to spare then you might not feel as bad when you tell people that you are not going to help them. And that is because you have already made your decision on what you are going to do with it.

On the other side of the lotto coin, so to speak, Sandeep Singh from Hyannis, Massachusetts recently won $30.5 million dollars playing the lotto. His story is a little more unique as apparently his girlfriend had dumped him just prior to him winning the huge amount of cash.

When the media asked him how he was dealing with the break up, he mentioned that he had been having a hard time with it. But he also mentioned that since he found out that he had won the lottery, he’s been doing a lot better and has been feeling so much better about himself. He’s not mentioned whether or not his former girlfriend has attempted to contact him or reconcile since the news broke of his winnings.  I just get the feeling that most likely his girlfriend MIGHT try it? But I cannot say for sure. Whatever he decides, will be totally on him. 

Personally I do not believe that I would allow someone back into my life. Especially since I was the person who got dumped. They obviously had their reason for it, so then why take them back? At the point that I was dumped was that moment that they had decided that they didn’t want it any more. What makes anyone think that they would change their mind that they wanted it again… ESPECIALLY if I have won the lottery??? I just would have a whole lot of suspicion about it.

What about you? Would you take back someone who came crawling back after the moment that they found out that you were suddenly richer? What would you do with your winnings?

And do you agree with the brothers to wait for six very long years before they turned in their winning ticket? Why or why not? It would be interesting to hear what you have to say.

 

 

 

 

I Used To Date What’s Their Face!

“I always take a relationship to the next level. If that works out, I take it to the next level after that, until I finally reach that level when it becomes absolutely necessary for me to leave.”~ Dave Chappelle as ‘Kevin’ in “You’ve Got Mail” [1998]

Sometimes relationships just don’t work out. And there are so many reasons for it that we can’t possibly sit down and go through them all and live a happy life. Pondering the worst of things that occur would only drag us down into the levels of despair that many of us would have a hard time getting out of.

What we do often enough after a break up can differ in time from one person unto the next. Depending on the relationship itself and the reasons behind its termination.

Personally though, I’ve noticed that once a person has come out of a relationship due to a break up, it seems to be the thing to do to totally become evil and speak as if their ex was the worst person in the world. I don’t know, maybe its just a part of the healing process in a sense where it is a sort of a release to get out all of the angry feelings that they are dealing with because it ended. It is a fascinating theory to me because when the relationship was in full swing they couldn’t stop talking about their significant other almost as if they couldn’t say their name enough times in one day to show their affection and feelings for them.

Even with the use of the Internet, once that break up has happened there seems to be a bit of a hurtful situation whenever there comes a time when that person’s name is simply being read on a computer screen. Or perhaps a certain song is played on the radio that reminds them of what was good at one point but they quickly remember that it is now gone. They take into consideration simply abbreviating the name of their lost loved one because it has become too painful. I could be wrong on this.

Too many times, I have read on Facebook in the past twelve months people coming in and out of relationships. But commonly once its over, they’ve got no desire to read their former partner’s name or talk about them. And so either their names are abbreviated or they are given some kind of code or nick name, that is actually dangerously close to the edge of being spiteful and mean.

But in time, the hurting stops. The healing process is over. And that person can move forward and function better in life because the pain of the loss is either no longer there or has become something that they can deal with.

I left my last girlfriend nearly three years ago. I would consider it a very bad break up. Probably the worst I have ever had to go through. And yes, it was painful for me. Yet, what had given me hope to carry on for another day was the fact that I knew that I was alive and not dead. Which probably would have been the ultimate fate had I stayed in the relationship.

I was glad and very thankful that I was able to see the world again without fear, without pain.

And I healed. I cannot say for sure how long it took to heal, but because I had that positivity within me to believe that things WILL get better, and a supportive group of friends, family, and other colleagues– I survived the hurt of the break up. I knew what I had done wrong, and I learned from that. And I keep it all in mind when I am associating with other females.

I could mention as well that memories of my first girlfriend that I ever had are gone. I have no recollection of what she looked like back then and probably would not be able to recognize her if I saw her today. That much time has passed. The only thing that I remember of her is her name.

So then are we forcing the memories out of our heads when we tend to refer to our exes as “them, they, or it”? Do we believe that our liver and kidneys are going to explode just because we mentioned their name in conversation after the relationship is over? Some just may believe in that. It is just personal opinion that I feel that they are wrong in thinking that.

I’ve been witness to relationships with people from beginning to end. At first, I would get to the point where I was happy for them. Then I just wanted them to shut up about it because hearing over and over again was driving me to believe that they were incapable of talking about anything else in the world. The fact of the matter was probably that they could, they just didn’t want to. And then when the ending of the relationship came and it was time for the hurt and the heal, well… you can imagine the bashing, the name calling, the evil ways they spoke about their ex.

And this was someone you just a few days ago felt that you couldn’t live without? You are calling them names and talking in a bad light about them suddenly? Why is that??

You loved them last week- and now you loathe them.

It is just all very interesting to me.

I do not loathe those who are a part of my past. I do not hate them. I do hate what they had done as well as what I had done that would ultimately cause the relationship to terminate. But even then, I shouldn’t “hate” on that. Instead, I should take the signs as they came to me and learn. Recognize what went wrong and what was bad, and do not repeat it with anyone else that may cross paths in my life, EVER!!!!!!!! 

I remember them all. Once someone makes a very big mark in your life, you never really “forget” them. You just lose your attachment to them. Once that is done, you’ve healed and are ready to move on. But the healing process and how we are handling ourselves in times of hurt and end, are quite fascinating to me.

Naturally, I am not a professional on this. Nor do I claim to be. I just simply know and speak from my own experiences. Doesn’t mean everything is going to end up the same with each relationship, or person in which I choose to have a relationship with. I fully trust in that. Because if I did not, I would have never dated again. Neither would I have had the experiences afterwards that I did, nor the opportunity to learn from these experiences to grow, mature, and develop in my own short life.

Each person is different as I said. They attach themselves towards others differently. They adapt differently, and they also heal differently. The best part about healing is that it doesn’t mean that you will hurt forever. At some point, it will stop hurting.

Life will go on.

When Will You Learn?

This post is kind of a last minute thought, but I think that I have some really good and valid points here.

I ran into one of my ex-girlfriends today. When I first saw her, I was not 100% sure of who she was. But she looked up and saw me and waved at me heavily. That was the dead giveaway.

I was not sure what I was going to do in that exact moment. I knew that if once there was any conversation and it started to drift towards the past, it was gonna get very ugly. I was not even sure if there was going to be any conversation at all. So, I faked like I did not know who she truly was, but I guess my poker face needs work.

Luckily for me, there was only bit a brief conversation. No talk about the past, no talk about “What are you up to now?”, nothing like that. Instead, I got “Hey! Good to see you. Glad to see you’re doing well. Here’s my card. Call me, we’ll catch up!”.

Umm, are you NUTS!?!?

Never in my life I thought I would be having that kind of an experience with an ex. They always show that kind of rubbish on television and in movies. Yet they also show that once the former lovers re-connect, something always sparks the flames again, and then they live happily ever after, THE END, roll the credits!

It is my belief that it just doesn’t happen like that in real life. There were specific reasons why the particular relationship ended between her & I, and reasons why I chose to end it. One of those reasons was not to bump into her years down the road in the future to get back with her.

There are hard lessons to be learned when ending a relationship. Whether you dump someone, or they dump you. What I am trying to say is that there are reasons why it ended when it did. And my own personal opinion is to dust yourself off, learn those lessons and move on. So it doesn’t make sense to me when couples break up and then later get back together again.

Comedian Larry Miller did a stand-up comedy routine about relationships and for couples who break up and then get back together. He says, “Getting back together with your ex is like wanting a bowl of cereal in the morning. You go to get some milk and then realize that it has passed the expiration date and you say to yourself, ‘This milk is sour! Well, maybe tomorrow it will be fresh!’.”

I couldn’t agree with him more.

Now I don’t know what my ex truly is seeking. All I know is that whatever business or personal card she gave me, was non-chalantly dropped into the street when her back was turned.

But the fun drama doesn’t stop there. NO sir!! After returning home and getting ready begin another day of working on some projects that I have lined up, I checked my e-mail. I had a message from my last ex-girlfriend who was asking specific questions:

How is life treating you? Where are you at now? Are you married?… and so forth. As many times as I have simply hit “BLOCK” on her e-mails, she’s always finding the time to create new free e-mail accounts in order to try and reach out.

I started to wonder what was in the air that was making these women do these stupid and annoying things. Neither one of them are ever going to hear from me. I thought that was clear that I’ve not said a single word to them once the relationship was terminated. So instead of bogging my mind with questions that I probably will never get the answers to, I decided to make supper and watch the Stanley Cup playoffs.

But still though, there are those people who dare to try a second go at it for whatever reason. To be fair, I will say that sometimes it does pan out and it does work. But most of the time? Not so much.

And then there are those who go in and out of relationships like a broken record. You KNOW what to expect of them because most likely they haven’t changed, and neither have you. But you try anyways and fail, over and over and over and over again.

Its like sticking your hand in the fire. How many times are you going to do that until you finally realize that “Ouch, that hurts!”??

But in all honesty, its not just about relationships that we do these sorts of things. A lot of times we do whatever it is that is bad for us, and we get burned the first time. But then we go back to doing it again and again. And we never seem to learn from our mistakes.

I think that it comes down to two kinds of people. Those who learn, and those who will never learn. And I do feel sorry for the latter, but I don’t feel sorry half the time when they are repeatedly doing the same crap that causes them pain in the first place, even IF they say, “Yeah, I know! That was stupid of me.”, and there they go the next day doing it again.

I don’t know. I guess it just doesn’t make sense to me. And as far as my relationship past? Well, that’s where they are going to stay. I am so lucky I am that strong as to not go falling into those kinds of pitfalls. Not saying that I don’t have my own, but at least its not those past relationships where I am looking for fresher milk because I KNOW what is there, and I KNOW what to expect. And since I do not care for that, I will not entertain the thought.

When will you learn?