Posts Tagged ‘broken’

dollar and Donation Box
Before I dare to mention anything that went on during SXSW 2017, I must address the issue that my wheelchair broke and has rendered me essentially home bound until the situation is taken care of.

Sadly less than two years of having a brand new wheelchair paid for by insurances, the front wheel bit the dust and I went spilling onto the floor H.A.M.

For the past two days, I have been doing what I can to bring this to the attention of many people to help get a brand new wheelchair, as well as have the old one repaired.

I started a GoFundMe campaign and for the first two days has done extremely well. If you donated and you are reading this, THANK YOU from the bottom of my butt, because its bigger than my heart.

The goal is in sight now. It is so close to being reached. It is in the final push now.

If you can, donate. Donate & SHARE. With your help, we can tackle the last bit that is left… the part that will pay for fees and other expenses in addition to the cost of repairs and the cost of a new wheelchair. This time, it is personal!!!

Anything helps. Donate here.

Thank you.

“There is a fine line between serendipity and stalking.”~
David Coleman
To the reader, this might seem like a post written out of frustration. And to that reader’s credit, they just might be right.
This morning at 1:45 local time, I had received an e-mail notification from the strangest of places.
Apparently someone was trying to send a message, using the social networking site of MySpace. MySpace of all places!!
The name attached seemed some how familiar. And I just couldn’t put my finger on it for hours. So in my terrible curiosity, I struggled to remember what in the world my password was for MySpace.
I had thought that the entire human race had left MySpace for Facebook and Google Plus. I thought that perhaps this message was spam. And I had believed that for a while. But it was because of the name of the person who had sent the message.
So then, I signed in. I could see a profile picture but it was small in size. And it wasn’t that good quality of a picture. I clicked on it, praying that it wasn’t full of a some kind of virus that was going to kill my computer.
And the message read as follows:
Hey there, I bet you didn’t think you’d hear from me again, didn’t ya stranger?
Hmmm….. who in the world are you???
And then it clicked. Glory, glory, did I figure out who this was. It was an ex-girlfriend that I had been with, back in Thomas Jefferson was President of the United States.
Okay, okay. Not THAT long ago. But it seems that long!
Once I figured out who she was, I sat there staring at the profile picture. She looked nothing like from what I remembered of her. A lot of her physique had changed and what not.
To put a little better perspective to my readers, this is the ex that I had thought was a part of the previous blog post, “Pornography Surprises”. Relieved to say, that by viewing the MySpace profile pic and remembering what I saw- it couldn’t be her. It could not be my ex.
Suddenly the one important question came to mind: Why in the world is she bothering me?
A question I still haven’t figured out. And it may be an answer that I will never get. But allow me to TRY to look at it just a little bit more optimistic.
It could be that she’s only wanting to see how I am doing now. I haven’t heard from her in about nine years.
A couple of years after the break-up, she wrote me a letter but had no idea that I had moved. So when her letter got forwarded to me, I was just going to throw the letter away. But I was told that if I did not want to hear from her again, that I should write her and tell her so. So I did. I wrote a letter back to her stating that life was good and that I had moved to another state and good-bye. (Most of my close and personal friends know that I don’t say that!)
So then she wrote another letter, having faith that it would get forwarded to me again. She had to, because I never wrote a return address on the envelope. Her letter had her frustrated because I didn’t supply her with the current address. And she didn’t seem like she was willing to accept the fact that #1- I was TOTALLY over it all. #2- I had no desire to speak with her ever again for as long as I lived.
That as I said, was nine years ago. And now she has seemed to have found me via MySpace. Something that I know that I personally don’t use any more. I’ve probably not willingly signed in to MySpace in what- three years?
As I looked about the ex’s MySpace profile it appeared as if she had just joined. She had ONE friend, and had an “updated status” only an hour before.
Well, I just don’t know. I honestly don’t. But it is evident that she’s unable to take a hint. If she believes that just because nine years have passed since my letter expressing to her that I did not want to talk to her, that  had perhaps changed? She would be totally wrong.
In my opinion, there’s simply nothing to talk about. Other than the past. And it wasn’t that great back then. I’m willing to face the error that I made, and learn not to make the same mistake. I cannot speak for her.
It drives me a little nuts to figure out what she wants. Clearly the only way to find out is to ask, and if it is conversation she wants… I don’t want it. So then, I’d open the flood gates to self-produced misery.
I will say this: If she continues to attempt to contact me, then I am absolutely bound and determined NOT to be nice. I’ve tried the cordial exit, and she just decided to recoil after all these years.
Enough should be enough.
I shall release the proverbial hounds and what will be, will be.


“You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.”~ Robert Preston as Prof. Harold Hill in “The Music Man” [1962]

This blog site is now back on the air and back in business after being gone for a week. I made a last minute split decision to go out of town and hang out on a farm about 100-130 miles from my home. I am sure that I will get into more of that later as it was quite eventful. Complete with fights, animals, screaming, and the local authorities getting involved. I have so much fodder for blog posts its not even funny.

For those who are the faithful ones, I will do my best this week to catch up with posts, so your head doesn’t fall off from not having anything to read about.

But as I gather my thoughts today, I seem to be having this feeling that I have brushed upon this subject matter before already. I just don’t have the desire to thumb through all of my posts to make sure.

But in my journey last week, the person who had invited me to his farm was more than willing to put himself on the line again. (This being the second time I have visited, and the first visit was just so miserable and boring.) And because of the fact that I did not enjoy myself the first time, I told him that there was going to be a few conditions to me agreeing to return back to the farm. Conditions that he must abide by.

So then his reply was this: “Oh no problem. I promise you, I got you covered! Just come on down and have some fun.”

In a list of about seven “conditions” that I had presented, only three were fulfilled. Compared to the ONE promise that was made and that one was not fulfilled at all from the first visit.

I guess you could say, “he’s getting better”. But really, would you do that?!?

Nothing sucks like an empty or broken promise. This guy definitely is all about the sale by whatever means necessary. I have had many people promise me something and then never ever do they deliver on their promises.

Broken promises are lies bascially. You were told something was going to happen and it never does. So they’ve lied about that certain thing happening because it didn’t. There’s really nothing much that you can do about it. You’ve found yourself in that trap and then you begin to feel quite foolish and humiliated because you had your heart set on something and you didn’t receive it. Of course a person might go through a bit of anger because of the deceit, but still- what are YOU going to do about it??

What CAN you do about it?

Well, in my case I believe it is simple. Naturally the trust that I originally had, begins to fade away. Just like the saying goes, “once bitten, twice shy”. And because of the broken promises, I actually find myself in a better position to be armed against it. Now that I’ve been bitten twice. Those emptied promises that were conditions of my second visit to the farm, I will remember. And if a third invitation is offered, then the request will either be denied or placed on hold until he is able to fulfill his previous promises and shows that if I am needing something from him, that he provides it EVEN BEFORE I begin to pack.

If a person has broken their promise to you, you’ll feel the sting of their burn. You can either forgive the person or not. You can choose to trust in that person in the future or you may not ever again. That choice comes from you and you alone.

But in an effort for optimism, there will be those times where a promise is made but is broken and sometimes the circumstances around it are out of the control of the person providing the promise. Life happens. I just believe that this was not the case in my situation. But it has and can happen for others.

Once you figure out that the person was either lying to you, or said one thing and couldn’t hold up their end of the deal because of something that was out of their control, you can either forgive and forget or you can allow yourself to lose that trust with that person.

We feel so awful and full of shame that we allowed ourselves to believe in that person, when they couldn’t deliver. We’ve got to go ahead and pick up the pieces and learn our lessons. Then our decisions must be made on whether or not we will trust these certain people again.

Where does your faith stand?


Today, I must say farewell to my trusty friend. It truly was my companion. It took me wherever I wanted to go. I had some good times with it. But now its time to carry on without it.

My wheelchair broke this afternoon. Fortunately I was not in it when it decided to give up the ghost. It was in the process of being loaded into the back of a truck when it spun its last revolution.

It suddenly had become wobbly and so when it was set back down on the ground, parts of it had come undone and the X-frame was no longer in its capable position. Rather though one of the bars came right through the bottom of the wheelchair.

We gathered that I definitely would have fallen at the time of its collapse, and it probably would have done some very serious physical damage to my body as I sank with gravity to the ground. Some way, some how, I would have been impaled. I am just thankful that I was already inside of the truck when it happened. So, no impaling today. Vlad Țepeș must be so disappointed in his grave.

I actually laughed when I saw it in its warped state. I didn’t panic because I knew I had other older wheelchairs stored away, but after a few hours of sitting in the secondary chair, its not so funny anymore to me.

Now I am sitting in a wheelchair where the front right wheel shakes like that same old grocery cart you always seem to find at Wal-Mart. It never stops shaking!!

The one that bit the dust was in fact a newer chair. I’ve barely had it for a year, maybe a year and a half. Now its only good for spare parts. It is true what they say, “Don’t know what you got, until its gone.”

I think that it sucks because I have to find one of the older chairs now and try to get used to them and adapt to how they work. The one I am sitting in at the moment really hurts my poor little butt!

So sad today could have been. But I am fine and in good health. No injuries or anything like that.

Now if only the apartment manager will loan me a shovel so I can bury the one that died today in the yard.