What The Puck?!?

“He tasks me! He tasks me, and I shall have him! I’ll chase him round the Moons of Nibia, and round the Antares Maelstrom, and round perdition’s flames before I give him up! Prepare to alter course!”~ Ricardo Montalbon in “Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan”

Night two of sled hockey activities ended last night with great success.

Even though we were not on the ice to play, we were there for a very important fundraising event. The beloved “Chuck-A-Puck”. Our team stayed within the concourse of the arena selling pucks for this event. Myself, along with a few other team members were shouting to the crowds to get them to come and buy pucks. A couple of us, ended up losing our voices by the time it was all said and done.

We do not have an official word and its too early to tell, but several people have estimated that we sold enough pucks for the event, that it would pay for at least one hour of ice time.

That works for us!!

It was a new experience to go through. Up and down the entire concourse shouting and yelling, “Chuck-A-Puck, two dollars, six for ten!!”. Non-stop for nearly two hours.

The youngest member of our team, who I think is under the age of six, used all of his charm to get people to come to the tables to buy. Suddenly, we have someone who is irresistable! Go ahead and try to tell him “NO”. It can’t be done. I think I am going to ask his mother if I can borrow him for a few hours and go to the park or the grocery store or something.

The kid is quite the business man!! He worked tons of angles from the element of surprise, to running straight up to people and asking them to buy pucks. I mean, whatever he was doing, it worked.

Doing Chuck-A-Puck for a fundraiser can be fun. But it’s definitely not simple. There’s a lot that goes into it. But having as many people to volunteer as we did, was a great help.

When we were finished selling, we were told that we could stay and watch the third period of the game between the Oklahoma City Barons and the Texas Stars. We were all getting ready and were excited to watch some hockey for FREE. But nooo.. we weren’t done. We were also employed to assist with the thousands of foam pucks that were launched at a target located at center ice. Gathering them all up was quite the task as well. But I personally did not go out onto the ice for the clean up. I stayed in the tunnel to watch. And since I did that, I was given the task to find the numbered puck that went along with the winning puck that made it closest to the target.

Luckily for me I looked up at the Jumbotron and there was a cameraman there to zoom in on the back of the winning puck. We were previously told to focus on the last three numbers of puck that were on pages and pages and pages of a giant list. When I looked up at the screen, I caught the last two numbers.

I was given the winning puck by the cheerleader that I had been chasing down for a photo in the past two nights. And sure enough, those of us who had lists were told to search hard and fast. The faster we found the winning person’s name, the better it was for everyone.

It didn’t take but five minutes, perhaps even a lot less than that. The winner was in my stack of papers. We found out that he had bought only two pucks. And one of them was the winner. Lucky guy. Those involved with the event were shocked that I had found the name so fast.

They called it very successful. One of the most successful Chuck-A-Puck events that they’ve had all season long.

And then after all of that, we were allowed to watch the third period. Tickets were being held captive by our team’s new leaders. She taunted us for about 30 minutes with them before she distributed them out to those who were planning on sticking around.

She gave me one, but then took it back and then gave me another. Her decision to switch tickets would work out in my favor.

I got to sit right up against the glass. And, the one cheerleader that I just couldn’t get a decent photo with, was there doing her thing. There I sat for much of the rest of the game, playing with my camera that seems to be malfunctioning for one reason or another, and not paying close attention to the game.

That would be a mistake.

Being so close to the corner, near the goal. I was attempting to take photos of my feet, just to test out the camera to see if i could figure out what was going on. And because I was not paying attention. I jumped clear to the moon when there was a body check up against the glass. The very same glass that I was sitting in front of!

Needless to say that I put away the camera from that point and watched the rest of the game in silent humility.

After the game, it was time for a quick check on the camera to see if it corrected itself. But no. So, I ran off to find a team member to see if they would take their cell phone and get a photo that way with the one remaining cheerleader that I had attempted at least four or five times in two nights to get something decent.

I ended up leading the team member all the way to the opposite side of the concourse. I started to feel bad about it, but then I was constantly reminded by the quote in the movie Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan … switching it up to fit the situation that I was being tortured because I just couldn’t get it done.

Rah, rah,.. blahhhhhh!

I recently attended a local hockey game. Needless to say, I did enjoy myself. Up until the part where I was accosted by a female.

Here is what went down. During one the intermissions, I went down to the nearest concession stand and bought a drink and some nachos. Expensive but what the heck, I don’t get out too much. So I was attempting to juggle my snack and my drink on my lap and navigate a wheelchair through crowds who are either drunk or not paying attention. Contrary to popular belief, I am a safe driver. No matter how many times I’ve received nicknames of speed in a wheelchair.

I get to the door to where I need to go and a cheerleader comes up to me and gets in my way. She proceeds to turn the knob up to 11 with her charm and flirtation by asking, “Aww, did you buy those for me, sweetie?”.

What the hell…

First of all, I’m having enough trouble trying not to spill anything. Plus I had about another 40 feet and one elevator ride full of people to go. And this cheerleader just jumps in front of me to the point where I had to some how, slow myself down, not spill anything, and then not run into her or anybody else.

Secondly, “sweetie”? Excuse me, but I don’t waking up with you next to me this morning.

As attractive as this girl was, it was ME who was being offended by vocabulary and terminology where it could have been defined as sexual harrassment.

Terms of endearment are in this day and age, slathered in people’s every day conversation like mayonnaise in a sandwich for a 400 lb. man.

I know several women who use terms of endearment when they speak to me. And I don’t mind that too much at all. Waitresses do it all of the time. But they are not paid very well and yes, they are trying to earn themselves a higher tip.

But what profitable gain do cheerleaders receive to do it? None!!

I was once told that cheerleaders appear to be snobs because they get hit on all of the time. Plus in my personal experience of being around cheerleaders, to be one, it was all part of a popularity contest.

Think about that though for a moment, “Cheerleaders appear to be snobs because they get hit on all of the time.” Hmm, trying to rationalize that to where the cheerleader doesn’t look or appear to be so negative gives me about as much indigestion as those nachos did from the other night.

This cheerleader came up and attempted her charms on me and it did not work well at all. We’ll call it a FAIL. I looked at her. Smiled graciously. And responded back with, “If I gave you some of these nachos, then I’d have to share with the rest of the crowd. And there’s thousands of fans here, and I don’t have that kind of money.”

Cheerleaders get hit on because at sporting events, beer is sold. Man drinks beer. Man gets drunk. Man sees woman, and loses his dignity, self-control, and hits on them. But cheerleaders also get hit on, because they fire the first bullet of flirtation, which causes a man to suddenly enter into this realm thinking that its okay to fire back. So when the man gets spurned, cheerleaders suddenly equal… BITCH.

They used to be there in order to get the crowd all excited so that they make noise in support of their team. But nowadays, they are exciting people in other ways but there is no real support for the team that makes it worth the teams participating in their event. And from what was exposed that I could see on most of them the other night, they could honestly use a few rounds of nachos. GO TEAM!!!!!