Posts Tagged ‘Christmas’

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“Our heritage and ideals, our code and standards – the things we live by and teach our children – are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings.”~ Walt Disney

And I’m back. In not any moment too soon before the Christmas holiday & break .

But I knew that I would be back today here when I woke up this morning as today was our grand ole fun-filled Holiday Party. A party in which no neighbor has referred to it as such in over five years. With the kinda of neighbors that I have now, political correctness can sit on it!

Our usual gathering took place with snacks and drinks and other deliciousness. As much as you had wished to stack onto a plate.

But the one part that would make you run and get the popcorn from home, would be ……. the gift exchange.

Allow me to explain why this is entertaining.

First off, there is a $10 limit on gifts. Of course, you must give a gift to receive a gift. Even though other people have attempted to lie and falsify that they gave, just to get something more… it never worked out well for them. But instead of doing something about it, they get passed off as “old and confused.” It doesn’t make sense to me either.

But one year after the gift exchange had been announced that it had come to an end. Everyone looked at what they had RANDOMLY SELECTED and nobody was happy or satisfied with what they received.

One woman who has been a rather frequent topic of conversation in this blog stood right up and announced a proposition for other neighbors if they had the desire to “SWAP” what they had with hers. Within one hour, I watched that one gift get traded and swapped through a total of four separate people.

scut-farkus

The gift in question you may wonder? A two-cup coffee maker.

Another year, an old bitty was so greedy about receiving something through the gift exchange, that she had let it slip her mind until that very day. So just hours ahead of the party, she dumped out the contents of her own personal wallet and threw it in a box and then put it under the tree.

I can still see the look on the person’s face who had randomly selected that wallet. It wasn’t new. It was old and falling apart. And there was nothing inside of it either. All in the name of getting something more.

For the past couple of years, after the gift exchange had come to an end, it was an automatic thing that people would swap and switch their gifts. For as long as they were not receiving the same gift that they gave for the exchange.

So in 2015, I chose emphatically not to participate in the gift exchange. But rather sit back like a boss and watch the people trip and drown in their own selfishness and avarice.

I was not disappointed. The gifts that were under the tree this year were horrible. And I think the thought behind them were even worse. A person can do a lot with a ten dollar limit. This group of participating hoarders simply chose not to go that far in their exchange. A lot of thoughtless gifts, and even more bullshit ideas that would be considered as a present…. in the minds of simple children. Gifts-for-Redheads (2)

So we pass another holiday season here. Christmas is just a few days away. And sadly for me, it will be just another day of the week as my sister already made her plans for the holiday elsewhere and out of town. I’ll probably get a few text messages and a couple of telephone calls of family and friends wishing me a Merry Christmas. And that will be the extent of it.

Stay tuned. 2016 is going to be packed full of surprises. I PROMISE YOU! Just be patient……………….

“I don’t want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vivious atomic wedgie.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel middlefinger

Here we go ladies & gentleman. More tales from the insane and incredible.

Go ahead, read this link:

http://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/6724729-Okla-man-killed-by-atomic-wedgie/

Ridiculous.

Don’t you just love the holidays?? Family and mistletoe and death!!

Where’s the love????

So this guy got it handed to him pretty good that more than likely his own underwear got wrapped around his neck and choked him out until he died.

The person who came up with this idea of giving someone a wedgie  should’ve been punched a long time ago.

But to my knowledge, this is the first time that I have heard of someone dying from it.

In April 2006, it was reported in Albany, New York that a teacher was in hot water for giving a 10 year old student a wedgie.

If this story of atomic wedgie death is only satire……. I’d feel so much better. Can you imagine????

What’s the worst story you’ve heard in the past few months that resulted in someone’s death?

“We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.”~ Jean Shephard

If you are reading this, congratulations. You’ve made it through the first day of December.

But it is not over yet. You still have thirty more to go.

The temperatures are getting a lot colder, shopping is become a hassle, and parking is nothing but an urban legend. Just remind yourself: “This will all be over soon.”

December is probably the most stressful month out of the calendar year than any other month. After dealing with turkey, football, and drunk relatives. You know that in five short weeks you’ll have to do it all over again. But this time, the entire atmosphere has its own feel. Those silent nights that you dream for, with snow-capped rooftops and joy and peace doesn’t come until far later.

Each one of us deal with so much more stress over the holidays, it is no wonder why people lose it by the time Christmas Day arrives.

All of the shopping, the gift wrapping, the wasted rolls of tape, and dysfunctional gift bows just can’t compete with the hair-pulling, the headaches, and the lack of sleep throughout the entire month. The candles and wreaths in the windows burning brightly through the crisp cold evenings give way to a heart-warming feeling that soon, Christmas is coming.

And with all of the things that drive us crazy, because we are running around all over town like chickens without heads, December begins a sort of unspoken season of gratitude and love towards our fellow neighbors. Well, at least it USED to!!

Children long for their wishlists to be fulfilled. Parents bite their tongues so that their secrets are not exposed. On and on and on.

Welcome to December. Welcome to the Christmas season!

Each and every one of us, I am sure, has something going on this time of year. Keeping us occupied. Planning or traveling. Or even both. Trying to reach every relatives’ house before the 31st! Those of us who are successful, ought to write books on how to successfully complete a holiday marathon.

A lot of us fizzle out before the first week of December comes to an end. Those are the ones that find themselves out of Egg Nog when Christmas comes, and they have to either continue to buy more, or serve something else and hope that nobody notices that the liquor cabinets were emptied out long before.

The others will find themselves victorious to mid-December. Just about a week and a half short of the goal. Tensions rise and all we can think about is having a “Christmas do-over”. All because great-grandfather dropped his Johnny Walker on Aunt Charlene’s 1900’s antique rug, and creepy Uncle Hank found himself up to his eyebrows in vodka and ended up hitting on your nineteen year old cousin Susanne.

Ho-ho-ho!!!

Pack up the kids, honey! We're outta here!!

What seemed to be a 3-day time of celebration to be around family ended up being 72 hours of pure misery and you can’t wait for the ball to drop before they all get the hell out of the house!

And that only feels like everyone has left a chore that will last until New Year’s Eve and you say to yourself: “I’m glad I’m not Aunt Gertude! Her New Year’s Eve party is going to be a bomb.” And then you find yourself being the life of the party a week later. With missing memories and soreness in muscles that you forgot you had.

But it is not all pain and grief. Knowing that you’ve been able to see those in your family that you don’t normally see every day becomes a sort of victory. Friends from way back when coming by and the wild amusment of Christmas Carols sang by groups of people who don’t have a musical bone in their body.

Suddenly, all of the stress. All of the money. All of the pain and heartache: It becomes worth it and you wouldn’t change it for anything else in the world. (Naturally, when it is all over and you reflect back at the next office meeting come that first week of January and that stupid jackass down in accounting will whine about how bad their holiday was and by comparison, yours was an ultimate paradise for  those last two weeks of December.)

Someone is gonna get a new car. Someone is going to get a brand new diamond ring.

It might not be you. Or it might be. Either way, you’ll know about someone receiving such an extravagant gift. Just bite your tongue because you have your health. And even though it might be totally awesome to have a new car, it is not you that has to worry about higher car insurance and new car payments.

Your health keeps you going through and through, and when the 1st of December comes again, you’ll be stronger and last longer.