Posts Tagged ‘confidence’


rosieRiveter12“A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars. “~ Carly Simon
In the mess that is current life, I was feeling very determined to come back for all of you and share a tale during the lull of commotion and weirdness.

A story you may find humor in, and that’s okay. And others might find astounding.

For those of you who watch “The Walking Dead” you might be reminded of the one liner that Negan says: “You got some beach ball-size lady-nuts on you, coming in all kamikaze like that.”

This is one story that I feel would illicit a very similar response.

Last Friday (Cinco de Mayo) I went out to downtown Austin to see some live music. Three varying musical acts in three different venues. The last of which I have spoken about when I was doing concert reviews on this blog.

With most bands comes merchandise. With merchandise comes the responsibility of someone to watch over it all and take part in the transactions of sales.

I was sitting around waiting for the music to begin and I felt something strange come over me as if someone was watching.

I gazed over at the merch tables and a young woman was gazing what I thought could have been in my direction. She seemed happy and content in her little chair. Smiling and waving. But I was not 100% sure if she was waving at me or at someone behind me. I was not very close, probably twenty feet away so there could have been anyone in that line of sight that she was communicating with.

I went past her on the way to the rest room, but I was not paying her any attention and she shouted out to get my attention. However this being a live music venue, I could not understand what she was saying. So I moved on ignoring her.

I returned to my usual place near front and center of the stage and I noticed movement from the table, her eyes locked on me the entire time. I knew she was about to come over to me.

Unfortunately, she had no idea that she was actually invading my personal space. Since I did not know her, I didn’t make a fuss about it.

And then suddenly …………. LET THE GAME BEGIN.

She leaned over into my ear and asked if I knew how to slow dance. The band was playing a slow song so it was an appropriate question for the time. I shook my head no.

The next question was straight to the point. Are you married?

Time for situation control. Since she was in my personal space and I was actually getting uncomfortable, I told her that I was married. I had hoped she would at least take a few steps back. All I got in response was this loud “Awwww!” and she promptly and swiftly returned to her post at the table.

A little while later in between bands, I stepped outside to watch people and grab some fresh air. Wouldn’t you know it, she came outside and headed straight for me!!! Charging like Custer’s Last Stand. mosit

Again, she wasted no time in asking where my wife was. I simply said “she was not here” and she nodded. Then very sheepishly asked if she could give me a hug.

After lying to her twice… I began to feel rotten. So I allowed her request. To which she slipped her arms around my neck and squeezed very tight. The side of my face buried into her chest for a couple of seconds before she let go.

She stood there, hanging on to my wheelchair in awkward silence. Again in my personal space so I turned my head the opposite direction. Several minutes passed and neither one of us was talking until finally she let go and returned inside.

She and I would exchange glances again and she blew one more kiss. I waved back.

I thought about this experience a few hours later and I began to realize something about her. Something that I felt was very unique and special about this young woman.
We always talk about those creepy people that come after us, but we never hear about those who choose to be respectful in their approach. So much to the point that all these warnings we hear about people that we begin to question every little motive of everyone else.
One thing was for sure. She knew what she was looking for and she went for it. The moment she realized the answer was NO, she stopped and went no further.
At the moment I said to her that “my wife was not here” she honestly could have hinted or insisted on participating in something on the side. But she did not. She left it alone. She obtained the information she was seeking and dropped it.
I also want to point out that she was full of courage in going after what she was wanting or at least curious about. She followed through. And looking back on it now, it was a different and refreshing approach as she had more guts than a lot of single MEN that I know. From personal experiences and listening to other men talking about this issue, there are so many men who lack that kind of confidence.

I want to say that I know a lot of men who could really learn from this young woman.

“If at first you do succeed try not to look too surprised.” ~ Anonymous

Many times I have used this blog to express a number of emotions. I would say that a majority of the time that I am posting something on this blog is because of emotion. And probably this post is no exception.

Plenty of you who read this blog regularly have read of my highs and my lows. And those do swing fairly wide it would seem each time I review my blog as a whole. Then others who read this blog end up being some kind of silent therapist as I am just writing to get things off my chest and off my mind. And there’s really nothing wrong with that.

But since the end of the Labor Day weekend, there has been things that seemed to have unphased me. I won’t go into a lot of detail, but certain things either have happened or have not happened in the past several days, and I find myself amazed at the fact that I have not gone through much emotion. Many things that I know that have either frustrated me or caused me to be sad and upset, didn’t do a single thing!!

So many times before in the past when these similar situations would occur, I would get upset and frustrated. But this time, I didn’t. Up until last night I wondered, “Why am I not upset?”.  It has been completely unusual.

It would seem that any other human being would go through the emotions. Perhaps there are a million and eleven reasons why I have not.

Perhaps deep down I knew that situations that were rising, were just out of my control and I knew that eventually they would resolve itself. Or maybe it was because I knew that I would go crazy if I allowed the cognitive distortions to take control, and I never allowed them a chance.

Or perhaps I have been distracted so much that I’ve not had a lot of time to dwell on these things enough for it to bother me. Whatever the case may be, my mood has remained constant as well as positive.

There’s been a number of things that have kept me busy as of lately. Sled hockey season has started and practices will begin soon, the fact that some major important decisions will have to be dealt with and I am doing all that I can to make sure that I have all the information that I need in order to make the decisions that are right for me.

So it really could be the distraction. However it doesn’t change the fact that these smaller things that would usually eat me up inside haven’t done a single thing to my mental state. The only thing it has done, is caused me to be surprised that I have not been down. Even though I am full of confusion as to why exactly.

Change is inevitable. How we deal with it is what makes us who we are. This by far, is a change that I haven’t really recalled experiencing in many, many years. And I won’t complain.

Our own mental health depends on how we are subject to certain circumstances. Those who are weaker, find themselves falling down and unable to get back up. Those who are a little stronger, find themselves falling down but then try to figure a way to get back up. I on the other hand have seemed to find myself already standing back up, but then asking myself, “Did I just fall?”.

My point is this: If I can do it, you can do it.

It may not be through the same ways as I have, but the end result remains the same. If you fall, get back up. Find your way to stand up again. When you find it, then do it! After you have done so, then you can worry about dusting yourself off. But always remember how you have done it, so that you can do it again and again.

Nothing can make a person more proud of themselves than to find a way to advance through adversity and come out smelling like roses on the other side. It causes your self-image to become more positive. It encourages your self-esteem, and your confidence levels can go sky high. The trick is to repeat the process whenever something or someone has you down.

And we can take my example. I probably should’ve been down. Probably at this point I should be blogging about something different. More about how upset I am that things didn’t turn out how I would like them to. But instead, I am writing about how I’ve been able to keep positive some how. And I have no idea why that is. I just know that it is what it is. It is a nice surprise indeed.

The more we learn from the lessons of life, the easier things become, the stronger we are, and the better the quality of life we have in front of us.