Domino Effect For Ashley Madison

“If people see me having dinner with a beautiful woman, they immediately believe that I’m having a love affair with her. Of course that’s rubbish. I’m not a playboy!”~ George Clooney

I do not believe that at this point I would have to explain who or what Ashley Madison is. Its been in the news for many, many days now worldwide.

But the domino effect of what did happen has begun. And it has turned dark, ugly, and even deadly.

Just recently, there were news reports coming from Toronto, Ontario, Canada about suicides of people who were members of the cheating website.

When I had heard about the hack and the information leak, almost immediately there were articles on the web about how members had committed suicide because of their private lives being turned loose into the public eye.

But at the time, it was false information and satirical articles.

Now it has become true.

The entire situation has officially become unraveled and out of control with the confirmed deaths linked to certain people and their memberships.

What I find sad is that as we go on, we are more than likely bound to come across even more suicides and harmful situations because of this hack and leak of information.

Avid Life Media could be facing many of class-action lawsuits of at least $760 million USD in damages.

And now the owners of the cheating website are offering hundreds of thousands of dollars in “bounty” to catch those people who are responsible for the hack and leak in the first place. 

This situation of vengeance, death, suicide, and overall heartache and pain will NOT cease at any time soon. More people will be exposed. Celebrities, athletes, musicians, etc. etc. etc. — it will all come out of the 37 million users within the database that was exposed to the public.

I think that most of us would agree that what this particular website offers, are services that are deplorable and horrible. However, for some people, it is exactly what they are looking for.

At first when the news came out about the hack and leak, there were many people who were cheering and applauding the actions. They would go on to say that the 37 million users deserved what they had coming to them.

But death? Suicide? They “deserved” that???

Really?

There’s going to be a lot of hurt people by the time retribution is over. Lives shattered, and already as stated — lives stolen away. There were even jokes made about how it would be financially beneficial to be a divorce lawyer right now.

Yes, I am a very firm believer that there are consequences for our actions. But who are we to say that these people are deserving? All because someone or some people decided that what Ashley Madison was doing was very wrong, that they became judge, jury, and now….. executioner.

I am so afraid to see how many more dominoes are going to fall because of this. How many more lives destroyed. Reputations ruined. Children scarred. And spouses betrayed. It becomes a story of “When trust turns to tryst.”

Hopefully we are able to get over and passed this by the end of 2015 without any more SERIOUS harm to anyone else on the planet.

A Concerned Letter To Miley Cyrus

 

Dearest Miley, 

As we approach the middle of the week which is the last week of August 2013, I am plagued and have been plagued for the past couple of days of what some could possibly call a raunchy performance, your name still hasn’t slipped back into obscurity as it was for the last … oh I don’t know … how long. 

And even though you’re not the first “celebrity-type” person to have done something as raunchy as what you did, and I regretfully admit that you will not be the last person, we must deal with right now, in the present. And face our consequences for the past. 

I am reminded (personally) of an early episode of The Big Bang Theory. I believe it was Season One. I do not know if you (or if anyone reading this will actually) watch it, since I do not know whether or not you have the kind of time to watch these kinds of programs that are on television, but let me break down one particular scene that comes to mind. 

The horny yet innocent and still lovable character of Howard Wolowitz overhears that the cousin to his friend’s female neighbor is in town, and she’s just about as easy as Ramen noodles when it comes to amorous activities in the bedroom. So later after their dalliances, the girl makes her first on screen appearance and says “There’s my little engine that could!” Well, the reaction of one of the lovable scientists comes out to “There’s a beloved children’s book I’ll never read again.” 

Something similar happened after viewing your performance on the VMA’s this year.

I WILL NEVER EVER BE ABLE TO LOOK AT A TEDDY BEAR AS AN INNOCENT CHILD’S TOY AGAIN!

CHILDREN SLEEP WITH THOSE THINGS AT NIGHT FOR SECURITY AND PROTECTION FROM THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT!!!!

And what you had done with those costumes of Teddy bears gallivanting on stage, has ruined the innocence of the Teddy bear for me, forever. I am an adult. I am not a parent, but I am an uncle, and now because of this… my nieces and nephews will never have the delight and joy of knowing what owning a Teddy bear is all about. At least not as a present from their uncle. And so when my nieces and nephews ask me why I shake in horror at one of those things today, the only thing that I  can do is wonder how to tell them. But I am paralyzed to do so, without doing so first in a therapist’s office with faceless dolls. 

And needless to say that cheering on a personally preferred sports team with a foam finger is now out of the question, indefinitely. How many uses did you intend on having to fulfill your heavily veiled masturbatory acts on stage to prove you are a woman and not a child? 

You have been in our living rooms, TV and movie screens for many years now. I have no idea what it could have possibly been like for you, being a nameless product of a giant company that brings up child stars and then spits them out when they are done with them. 

We, millions of Americans, and some of us being your fans, already understand your plight with your identity. Let me repeat that you are not the first one to have the stress of this problem. Not by a long shot, and you will not be the last. 

We all remember Britney when she went through her tragic meltdown. All in the pursuit of making a name for herself, attempting to step into the lights of adulthood and closing the chapter of her childhood. 

And you, no less, have similar stresses to deal with in order to make that happen. I don’t know if you recall or not, but we nearly lost Miss Spears to all of it. I would imagine that’s not the end result that you are or have been looking for.  

However, dry humping costumed Teddy bears, singing about illegal activities and substances at parties, and grinding Mr. Thicke isn’t the best way to go about making your transformation. 

The eyes of millions are still upon you. Now that you have reached the age of twenty, things are different in the world that you need to recognize. 

Chances are that you probably not going to completely strip away your past. You are who you are. And you will not be able to strip away the things that you say and do now, when you are thirty-five years old. The time to pay attention is NOW and in the PRESENT. 

There are just going to be many people who remember the child star that you had become right before our eyes, which propelled you to who and where you are today. 

And even those fans that have followed you through thick and thin through your teen years, there’s always going to be some younger sibling of those fans that will find you as a new and fresh approach in their lives. And they will toss you up there so high on that pedestal again that we’ll see nothing but the bottoms of your feet as you are forced to stand upon it. 

I read today, someone else who had posted their feelings and I quite agree that your life is far different from your faithful followers. If they were to do the things that you do, and act upon the things that you sing about, they will not be swept away by some fancy attorney who will come in and save the day. No! Instead they will be forced to face the music of their actions. Most of them either in jail, or with a criminal record that will plague them throughout their own personal adulthood, or the inevitable and difficult to think about option, death. Meanwhile, you are earning income off of their purchases that relate to you.

There’s no savior for those whom you call your fans. All the while, you have just about everything set up for you. And still you struggle with the inappropriate actions of trying to separate yourself as a twenty year old woman living in pop culture. 

Finding your identity as an adult is not a crime. Nope, it surely isn’t. But with adulthood comes more responsibility than you ever had to bear before in your entire life. And that responsibility comes with the choices that you personally make. And with those choices come the consequences that you and only you will have to answer to. 

Your poor choice of doing what you did at the VMA has brought all of this attention of the world down upon you. And quite honestly, it was well deserved from your performance. So in that, I say BRAVO!!!!

But I do have some concerns that I would like to bring up at this time. 

Your wardrobe, it was a living nightmare. There comes a time to take stock and re-consider when you backside bits are dangling out and posing similarities to a specific protein that is within the American diet. Particularly during one late autumn holiday that is late on the calendar. I could call into question whether there was a malfunction or that is what you had intended? Only you can answer this. 

Secondly, is there by chance, any particular need to see a dentist or an oral surgeon? 

Good job of veiling your action of masturbation on National television!

I am keeping my fingers crossed that the reason for it all, is NOT because you have some sort of or any combination of temporomandibular disorders. If that is the case, then you have my sympathies. As a person with a physical disability, I can some what relate to having to deal with pain and medical procedures.  

Yet your tongue had about, what I could count, four inches of residue. Nobody wants to see this. And I mean NOBODY!!! I’m not sure what you had to eat that day but whatever you consumed (whether legal or illegal) showed up quite plainly as you appear to rather enjoy having your tongue wag from between your teeth. For someone wanting to close the chapter on immaturity and childhood, a wagging tongue is not the way to go! 

So in conclusion, it is a real triumph to be the person that outshocks and outshines Lady Gaga. Not even Taylor Swift’s lip-readable “F” bomb came close to what you pulled off on stage. But then to think about it, is that something to be proud of? 

I just wonder about your poor parents. And I wondered if they even cared. I cannot even begin to imagine your plight, growing up as progeny of musical talent that was as hot as you are today just a few decades ago. I couldn’t even begin to dream to understand. 

I just know that I can draw another parallel with that as back in 1983 as a child, I did two television commercials that were ran statewide in the state of Arkansas. (You know the place!)

They were for raising funds to build a handicapped accessible swimming pool. And when I had finished recording those two commercials and weeks later when they began to appear on television, I had many teachers and professionals in my school asking me for an autograph. Of course they were being cute about it. 

My parents one day overheard me getting rude about it and assuming to charge them ten dollars for me to autograph a scrap piece of paper. My father came up to me and whipped the tar out of me for acting like I did, told me to apologize, and then sign the paper with grace, humility, and a little more self-pride. 

My autograph is worthless compared to yours, so I can’t even bring this up to point out how horrible your actions were, even though mine were horrible enough in their own right. 

In conclusion, I hope that by the consequences that you are currently suffering, that you will have a lesson to have learned throughout all of this. I will hope that next time, you will be wiser in deciding what to do in your career, and your personal life as well …. even though that is your business and not mine. 

But for now, the posts on Facebook will swell until the next big Hollywood SNAFU. And that will inevitably come as well. I just hope its not you, which will make it look like a continuation of this situation at the present. 

I will continue to post them because just like you with your fans, I mean something to the people who know me. And I wish for them to know and understand the horrible ends that are you are experiencing because of foolish choices and that those who know me and look up to me (for their own personal reasons, just as your fans look to you), that they may know what NOT to do in the future and use your experience as a lesson for their own lives and learn to make better choices and live better and healthier lives. 

Good luck, Miss Cyrus. And goodnight.

A Risk In The Balance

“At a time when we’re having to take such difficult decisions about how to cut back without damaging the things that matter the most, we should strain every sinew to cut error, waste and fraud.”~ David Cameron

My heart and prayers go out to those people effected by the events that transpired in Boston, Massachusetts today.

I sit here this evening with four days left before the birthday bash for Chuck Williams of SIX MINUTE CENTURY. I have yet to even buy my bus ticket and usually I would have had that done by now.

But about a week ago, I became sick. And its a long and gruesome process to feeling better. I have to take things day by day.

Sufficed to say that Saturday and Sunday were very good days where there was not a lot to contend with. Today however just wasn’t up to par with the past weekend. And I still have that decision to make whether or not to go to Houston this Friday evening.

The thing about Friday night shows is that it always comes up so quick. And I cannot explain it but Saturday shows they just arrive.

I know that I won’t be 100% by Friday. That’s a given. But I keep thinking that in the back of my head that IF this Friday could be like this past weekend then I won’t have much of a problem. However I am not assured of that to happen.

I could medicate the hell out of myself with medicine, but I won’t be as clear and “all there” so to speak. But if I pass on this weekend, it will be the second time I have missed the birthday celebration for lead singer Chuck Williams.

Last year was just a tragic time as I had lost my brother-in-law. I think a better way to define it was bad timing. It just wasn’t something that I had any control over.

But will my going to Houston this weekend cause me to pay a price that I truly am not able to afford? Had I been asked this question either last Saturday or Sunday, I would have told you that I had NO problems whatsoever.

I also don’t have the plans for a possible option B in place as far as traveling back home as I was offered a ride from one of my colleagues. I’m just not feeling 100% on that either. Perhaps I need more faith.

It just really stinks because over the past couple of years I have become really good friends with Chuck Williams. His birthday celebration is actually ON his birthday. How cool is that?!??

Not to mention that I will get some face time with Dr. & Mrs. Froth which always something that I look forward to. And there will be others there that I enjoy hanging out with. Including someone that I just met last month at the WELL OF SOULS show that I actually have some kind of curiosity and interest in getting to know better… without saying where its going to go from here.

I hate the feeling of not going because of my illness because it does in fact feel like I am letting people down. Even though I am aware that isn’t the truth. Disappointed people? Sure. We are all human.

So I ponder the implications of going while trying to recover. Whether to go and heavily medicate myself to a point where I can manage pain. And whether or not that will bite me in the butt in the end.

I am sure that the Centurion family would tell me that if I am just not feeling up to it, then not to worry. But I worry still regardless. The least I can do for my friends is to show up. But there would be some who could argue that if I am not 100% … then I am useless to my friends.

As I said, today was so very difficult for some reason. But I still have just a small window to figure it out.

 

You Can’t Make Me!

“It is astonishing what force, purity, and wisdom it requires for a human being to keep clear of falsehoods.”~ Margaret Fuller

 

It can honestly be amazing what kinds of personal advice that we seek from other people. We could probably ask 100 people and tell them that we are seeking their advice on one particular situation. Once their advice and/or opinion is offered, then it is also amazing what we do or don’t do with it.

 

It’s called a “choice”. The things that we choose to do or not do with the input that has been given to us after we request it, is the choice we have made.

 

But it can be pretty frustrating and disappointing once we have played the role of the sounding board and given our thoughts and input to those seeking our advice, only to find that the person never applied it to their personal lives in the first place.

 

This would become quite evident without the other person having to admit to you, “I didn’t take your advice”. Sometimes it just shows up on its own.

 

If for example,  someone came up to you asking for your advice on whether or not to break up with their girlfriend because things have been less than pleasant, and you knew that in the end the person seeking advice would be happier if they were single or at least away from the current situation- it will show up in their continuing misery because they never did call it quits and decided to press on with the relationship. Only to still be miserable and probably feel worse.

 

They didn’t have to admit that they didn’t take your advice. As a matter of fact, to my knowledge I have never heard of anyone ask for advice and then a few days later say, “I didn’t take your advice”.

 

I honestly would not find it all that surprising that anyone would do such a thing. Because what they are doing in fact, is admitting that they knew better but didn’t DO better.

 

That is the thing about it. They can come to you all they want and ask for it. But if it is not something that they honestly and truly want to do once your advice is offered, or they disagree with your advice then they are not going to follow it. And there’s nothing that you can do about it. You cannot make someone follow your advice once it has been offered.

 

I’ve given plenty of advice to all kinds of people. Sadly, most of them do not follow it. But then again, neither do they come back to me after they’ve been defeated in life and say, “You know what? You were right!”. That kind of thing just doesn’t happen in the real world.

Knowing your advice was not taken can often feel like this.

 

But it still feels so very disappointing when you’ve realized that you’ve given your time and effort to help a friend, and they continue to suffer with whatever it is that is giving them the problem because they chose not to follow what you had told them.

Let me repeat something for you:

 

You cannot make someone do something that they do not want to do in the first place.

 

I know that a lot of times when you do give someone your advice and the other person doesn’t follow it, that you sometimes feel like you never want to give that person advice ever again because since they didn’t follow it the first time, what will make you think that when they need help or advice again that they will the next time?

 

Even so, look at the other side of it. This person didn’t take your advice the first time. And now they are back for more advice- probably about something totally unrelated to the first. Instead of throwing your walls up and denying them, try to understand that if they are coming back to you again and again then it probably means that they still value your opinion. Even if it is something that they disagree with or do not follow.

 

Your thoughts, ideas, opinions, and advice are clearly of a greater value than you thought if they are returning to you again and again.

 

I know that from an earlier post called, “You’re Not Listening!”, I was pretty upset and steamed because I gave some advice and that person didn’t listen.

 

I will admit however, that the advice was just simply given and it was not something that was requested. I attempted to warn them not to get involved with something, and they did. And I knew that if they did, that they would regret it. And they did regret it. But there’s just nothing that I could’ve done about it. Still, I was pretty upset. And not to sound cocky but I knew that I was right. And so it became the next blog post so that I could just get my feelings of frustration out and let it go.

 

It was just a lesson that they were going to have to learn on their own.

 

I didn’t like it, I got upset and blew up. But after a while I calmed down and that was the end of it.

 

We’re not meant to police our family, friends, or loved ones. We cannot stop them from making what we might feel is the wrong decision. We are responsible in how we treat the other person when we are approached with the request for advice. What we say and how we say it. But we’re not responsible if it is not followed to the letter of the law… so to speak.

 

This is something that I hope to change personally in my own life in 2012.

 

And I am not saying that we are not allowed to be pissed off or disappointed or feel like we’ve wasted our time giving advice when it has clearly been ignored. I am saying that we’ve got to come to an understanding that whatever happens after we’ve spoken our mind is not up to us any more. If the person asks for it and then applies it to their situation and comes out smelling like roses, then HOORAY!

 

But if they don’t apply it to their situation and come out miserable, then there’s nothing much else that we can do. It will just have to be their cross to bear.

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Motivation

“Get in there, and clean that pig sty!!”~ my Mother.

Throughout most of this past weekend, I have taken the time to go through my place and clean it. Mainly the important reasons are because I am about to go through our monthly inspections.

Now it is not something that they are going to come in here and do the white glove test by any means. The purpose for the inspections are to make sure that things are working properly. Making sure that light fixtures work, the water runs, toilet flushes, and so on. But they do want to make sure that the unit is kept in general housekeeping standards.

The problem is that the definition of what is good housekeeping standards varies from person to person, whomever is doing the inspection. So it is difficult to know whether or not its “clean enough”. I believe that their concern is that there’s not trash all over the floor and old food left out on the countertops and what not. Things that could eventually lead to bigger and deeper problems in the future.

Usually for me though, I’m always checked off that everything works that needs to work but when it comes to “general housekeeping”, the comment is left: Follow-up.

What the heck does that mean?? They’ve never said, “Okay, you’ve got two weeks to clean this place up.” In fact, my housecleaning status has never come under fire. I’ve always had things cleaned up to the best that I physically can, without any help or assistance.

So I had a pow-wow with my apartment manager one morning. I asked “what is general housekeeping standards”?

It was put across to me in this way:

If you met a girl on the street and you wanted to bring her back to your place for a little hanky-panky, once she walked through the front door–would you be humiliated??

Nice point. Motivation is always key.

I do however get very frustrated when I know that things need to be done around, and its something that I cannot do. I need to either ask for help or not be so hard on myself. Yet I strive to make sure that IF that scenario were to come true, that I would not fall into humiliation.

My mother always motivated myself and my brother to clean our room with the comment: Clean up your room, just in case the President of the United States comes for a visit.

It worked for a while.

Now this new motivation of whether or not a woman would dare to visit here is the new motivation in keeping things just a little bit better and better.

Motivation works in different ways for different people. It will cause a person to become more focused on something that they find is the desired effect in the end. A good example is people who want to stop smoking. They find their reasons why they should and then they search themselves to find the positive effects of them reaching the goal. Better health, more money in their pockets, and so on. But that’s only one example.

I think that humiliation in this form, is just life’s way of saying to you that your motivation is low and needs a lot of work. If a woman DID come in here and she found a pair of scorched underwear on the floor or something, then yes, I’d be totally lost within myself and I would make so very sure that NO underwear would be found on the floor ever again!!

So until I am able to find the help & assistance to help me, I continue to do what I can. And I have come to that point where I can do no more today. I’m sure I’ll find bits and pieces to tidy up from now until the day of inspection. But anything that could cause me to be humiliated is no longer there. So ladies, BRING IT ON!! Besides, I think that my mother would be proud. She would question a few things but then once she realizes it is something that is out of my reach or control, she’d smile and probably be more understanding and possibly get it done for me.

In all things, we all have our slumps. We have those things in which we really don’t wanna do but we know that we must. So finding that motivation is very important. If we cannot find it, or do not look for it, then we’ll end up not doing what we are supposed to and thus suffer the consequences for our own actions because we did not do what we should have in the first place.

What motivates you???