Holy Shit! Where’s The Tylenol!?

“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”~ Chevy Chase as ‘Clark Griswold’ in “Christmas Vacation” [1989]

I can totally relate at the moment.

In as much as this is a favorite movie during the Christmas holidays, and the fact that me and my siblings have tried and tried and tried and tried to memorize this rant from the film, we never could seem to get it all. We’ve had better opportunity memorizing lines from “A Christmas Story”.

But this scene in the film (and a few others as well) has become something of a must-do in my family every year.

Still though, I’m wishing it was 2012 already. As we enjoy (or suffer) the last few hours of the Thanksgiving weekend and not to mention most of us with a four-day weekend, can we skip December??? I didn’t think so. Oh well, it was worth a shot! You don’t get anything if you don’t ask!!

As frustrating and depressing as 2011 has been, there’s still just under five weeks of it left and I’m so terribly looking forward to the new year. Plain and simple. I am full of the hope and wonder that it will be a far better year than this year has been. Even though it’s not completely over.

But I won’t give up! Hope that is. That’s just not within me at the moment. Even though it would be SO easy for me to surrender and say, “This year has been crap.” And just allow myself to slowly wither away.

Well: This year HAS been crap…. so what??

I got scammed out of $1500. I got bulldozed by a Mercedes-Benz. I’ve dealt with and some how survived one of the worst summers and droughts in history with terribly hot temperatures. I’ve had to play judge and jury in between arguments and disputes amongst the elderly. And of course, having to have to defend myself and my own life just two days before my birthday.

Clearly, there’s a lot more that I could add. But that’s just going to break down the spirit of those who read this blog post.

So yeah. I’ve definitely had a difficult time this year. And my temperament has been “below average”. I will leave it at that.

However, there is a flip side to all of this. And I am so appreciative that I have the cognitive skills to realize it.

I just played sledge hockey in front of a crowd of over 9,000 people. And there’s the promise in 2012 of doing it all over again in front of many, many more. The team is actually getting to travel. Something that I have never experienced before.

I’ve learned how to do a slap shot and make the puck go into the air. I’ve even scored some backhand shots.

I am excelling in the sport this season so much more at this point in the hockey season that I have nowhere else to go but up. According to personal stats.

I’ve been to Houston for the first time in my life this year and have been there a few more times.

I’ve got to meet SIX MINUTE CENTURY in person and each time that I have, I’ve received the VIP treatment.

I’ve met my literary hero, Jessica Trapp, in person. And I’ve been able to establish quite the wonderful friendship with her. How awesome is that?

I’ve developed social interactions and turned them into wonderful lifetime relationships. And one of them even turned into my best friend.

So do I have anything worth complaining about? Some may say “yes”- others would say “no”. It all depends on whether or not I am going to let those things that have greatly curved my life, and let it go into a tail spin. Or I could learn the lessons that were given to me and move on.

Last night my best friend told me, “You need rest. Not stress.” And even though I cracked a joke back at her with my response, she’s right. And I probably shouldn’t have been such a smart ass about it. But I do admit, she was totally correct.

There’s a lot of things that cause stress in our lives. But we need to figure out a way to manage that stress. I’ve certainly had a lot of stressful situations overwhelm me this year. Or at least it seems to have been overwhelming. And I’ve dealt with them the best and only ways that I know how. I probably could learn a little more to deal with it better. But that is the great thing about our lives is that it is an ever-growing, always evolving opportunity to learn.

Stress will be something that will NEVER go away. We all will have it in our lives. But we must do the best that we can under those circumstances to not let us end up like the movie character of Clark Griswold, and snapping every five minutes because we cannot get a grip on our own reality and life.

Nightmares!

Dreams and nightmares are still a fascinating thing.

I remember that about 10 years ago, I would always try to analyze my dreams. Both good and bad and see what my body was trying to tell me. I was never really any good at it though.

There are some things that I have phobias about and they will enter my dreams from time to time.

But last night, I had such the nightmare that I found it rather difficult to shake even though I knew from the moment I woke up that none of it was true. All events never really happened.

Nightmares can plague someone to the point where they just never feel safe. And thanks to Wes Craven, back in the 1980’s there were a lot of people who were afraid to fall asleep.

Last night’s horrid dream dealt with plenty of situations that hit the wide spectrum of feelings, thoughts, and emotions. The content of sex (both consenting and non-consenting) mixed in with the fear of being chased, then being betrayed and then ultimately murder and helplessness.

Perhaps some of it was an extension of some post-traumatic stress in my past. I don’t really know. It has not been diagnosed with me. Not officially anyways.

What I ended up doing was getting completely out of bed and trying to get busy doing something other than sleep to get the horrific images out of my head and memory.  All I know is that it scared the living shit out of me.

I didn’t return back to bed for at least an hour and a half. But then I had trouble going back to sleep. So I got up a second time and by then I had been awake for pretty much most of the night, and the sun was beginning to rise.

So how do you deal or cope with having a nightmare that tends to stay with you even after you realize that it wasn’t real and it still is haunting to you?

My ex told me that it was best to talk about it with someone, outloud. That way, you can bring it to the surface and let it go. But I was personally confused by that idea. If you had a vision or a nightmare and you were awake and realized that it was over and it was not real, why would you want to talk about it and have to “re-live” it all over again?

I had heard from another person to write it down. Like writing a story. Yet again, it was seemed odd to do that because you have to think hard about the details that you just are trying to escape from.

So what’s the best way to deal with having nightmares? How frequently do you have bad dreams? We all have them. Some more than others.

I had several towards the end of January, and through February almost every night. But it soon had passed. But last night’s evil visionary tale has been stuck in my mind even this afternoon. But thankfully, not so vivid and not as scary.