Posts Tagged ‘country music’

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”~ Henry Ward Beecher 

I guess some drunk people just can’t take a joke sometimes. But I knew that eventually I was going to get into trouble some day.

Karaoke night. And the first thing that happened when I went through the front door was someone coming up to me asking if I was going to participate in singing karaoke. Of which I didn’t realize was going on.

Since I have done so in the past at that particular place, I agreed. Without skipping a beat, the person who was asking gave me a list of songs that I was banned from singing.

Banned.

Wow! Seriously? And they apparently were.

It was a list of pop songs with my name on it at the top a full page long of various songs that I have sung in the past and won their karaoke contests with in a landslide vote by bar patrons.

And now I’m banned from singing them ever again in that establishment. And one another has banned me from singing one pop song in particular. That is if I am wanting to be a part of their karaoke contests.

I never actually take their prizes. Usually its just free drinks or a free entree or whatever. And since I do not drink, I never use it. I always give it to someone else before I leave.

Okay, whatever. So this forced me to go through their “book” to find something to sing that I was comfortable with, and that I could work with in my vocal range.

I had one problem. One very huge problem. The book was full of country karaoke music.

But as I went through the book and worked towards the end, I saw something listed on a page that was familiar with me. It was written in the genre of country music too. Everyone who sang ahead of me were singing country.

So I selected the song, “Good Enough For Now” by none other than “Weird Al” Yankovic.

Since most of you have not been living under a rock, I do not have to explain who that is. But when you have a room full of people who are drinking tons of beer and enjoying country music, this selection was ripe with disaster. I just wouldn’t know it yet until I got settled on the stage.

I had a very tough act to follow. The guy who was singing before me, had brought his girlfriend up near the stage and he sang John Michael Montgomery’s version of the song, “I Swear”. To which brought her to tears and many people who watch this magical romantic moment.

How the heck am I going to dazzle a crowd in which the winner is chosen by applause and THAT kind of thing happens? There is just no beating that kind of act!!

I watched the crowd, and I selected two women that I would “sing to”. One extremely drunk, the other pretty wild, drunk, and dressed very slutty celebrating her 21st birthday. It was too easy to select the birthday girl for this rather amusing and funny gag.

I sang this song to the two women and I nearly was torn off the stage by them both. By the first for most of the song, and then by the second woman by the end of the song. Of which I might add was not a karaoke version. I had to sing along with the album version.

They should have realized that by the second line of the song, that this was all just a big joke.

One of them, I guess it might have been a husband or boyfriend was standing there with a beer rushed the stage and stuck his middle finger in my face and screaming with a resounding “Hey, fuck you buddy!!”. 

I kept singing. I moved away when I could but he would follow. But then when I turned my attention to the second girl (the birthday girl), he stopped. But then the second girl was throwing a fit and that was probably because she was embarrassed. She was just so awfully tempting to pick out because she was so loud and obnoxious and of course, drunk out of her mind.

I got yelled and screamed at for a while after I got off the stage A lot of people shouted their obscenities at me. Luckily nobody came after me and started a physical confrontation.

If you want to know why this caused such a problem, you can find the song on YouTube or you can Google search the lyrics.

The song came off of the album “Polka Party” which was released in October 1986. I thought for sure that many of these people would find the humor. I thought wrong. Maybe everyone in this crowd were born AFTER 1986? I don’t know.

I just know that if I am going to be “banned” from singing songs, and my hands are tied behind my back when everyone is doing country songs, I’m going to go at it in my own way. Which I did.

I even said during the musical solo into the microphone that it was just a joke. Nobody found it funny Except for a couple of people way in the back sitting at the bar who was laughing to themselves when they heard me singing the words to the song.

I wasn’t going to win. But then again I never planned to join the contest in the first place. I was just trying to get out of the house and have some fun and relax. This is probably no longer the place to do that any more.

I’m still trying to wrap around my mind of how they can “ban” me from singing specific songs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So here’s my answer to all of this garbage, as well as the story:  

I will not name names, but someone came by to visit me because they felt that I was stuck being inside of the house on this, being Independence Day with nothing to do. Well, they were right in thinking that. I’ve not gone anywhere. I had no plans. So this person comes by to visit with me so that I could melt away some time.

It was a very kind gesture at the start. But it ended up going south really fast. Or has it?

This person asked my permission to play some music. I allowed it. But the guy didn’t like the CD collection that I have. So then he asked me if I had any “country music”.

No, I do not!

He began to grumble. So in order to keep him from getting noisy about it, I went on to YouTube and played a few select videos that were country music. But he didn’t like those too much either.

Then as the sun was starting to go down and it was getting dark in my home (having the lights out because of the fireworks and gun fire which is going on in celebration), I played one more video. It was Metallica’s cover of Bob Seger’s song, “Turn The Page”.

I wasn’t paying attention. And he wasn’t digging Metallica either.

So then he said that he had plans to go watch some fireworks and he left a few minutes later.

Then, I get an e-mail from him, with an attachment.

Without looking at the message first, I looked at the attachment. And THEN I realized that he had taken his cell phone and recorded video of me doing some super major air drums to Metallica’s covered song.

The message stated that he was considering putting the video on YouTube. In an effort to get the best of me and essentially embarrass me to pieces.

Why? Because I don’t listen to country music.

There was an “LOL” at the end of the message, and that could have meant that he was only teasing. But there the video was. And now I have a copy of it as well.

Here’s where this evil blackmailing plan is probably going to fail:

#1- The video was shot from a cell phone. VERY poor quality. All you can see is a person’s shadow in a wheelchair moving his arms.

#2- You cannot see the person’s face in the video. So nobody can say that it is definitively me.

#3- This guy obviously has forgotten about how people have become rich and famous and ultra-popular with viral videos. In which if he does upload it to YouTube, it could be the year’s biggest viral sensation.

So I say to him quite clearly: BRING IT ON!!!

Nobody is going to notice me, nobody is going to see that it is me. Nobody is going to care.

We’ll see if this gets uploaded or not. I don’t think that he has the stones to do it.