Do Only One Thing

“Throw caution to the wind and just do it.”~ Carrie Underwood

Okay so guys listen up. 

I was privy to talk to a woman who was willing to give up a secret on a simple task of making a woman happy and full of appreciation.

Are you ready for this valuable information???

Do ONE simple thing for her. Just one thing. And it doesn’t even have to be something so expensive or time consuming. Do one simple thing that will let her know that you are thinking about her. 

An e-mail that tells her something. A text message that you are daydreaming about her. A quick voice mail on her busy cell phone that is turned off so that she is not distracted by the ringing during her important part of the day or work.

So I took these things into consideration and tested them out.

The first communication I made with a woman this morning, I sent a text message saying that the skies were clear and the sun was bright but not as bright as she is. It wasn’t much but she LOVED IT! So much did she love it that she expressed herself back in reciprocation in ways that I had never heard her speak to me before. 

I randomly sent a text message to another woman, saying that I could swim in her blue eyes forever. Which is borderline everything in the book …. but you know what??? It made her pay attention to me for the rest of the afternoon until she had no other choice but to end the conversation. But quickly invited me to contact her later. 

One thing guys. Only do one thing. 

Give her a LOVE BOMB if you feel so inclined. 

The thing about it, is that she’s going to see that she’s been on your mind for at least 30 seconds and she’s going to take that into consideration and feel wanted, desired, and appreciated. 

And oh, the bonus points you’ll end up receiving unknowingly. They will remember and they will reward. 

So remember: Do only one thing to capture her attention. And then go from there. Just don’t forget to follow up and keep going!!!!! 

Cancel the Cancellation

“Do not just look at your boyfriend as just a boyfriend. Look at him as a friend, too.”~ Vanessa Hudgens

I do not honestly recall how long ago this news story was, but there was a man who had secretly recorded his telephone conversation with big time internet provider AOL, and he recorded the miserable conversation that he had to endure when AOL had realized that the purpose of his call was to CANCEL his services with them.

I don’t remember just how long he was connected with them but it was at least twenty minutes to a half an hour.

The longer it took, the angrier he became. Eventually, he was screaming and shouting and everything else in between before AOL finally bid him adieu and he was able to hang up satisfied.

Just as this man had suffered because he wanted to cancel, so did I recently with another business.

My experiences are finding that most if not all online dating websites are in reality, all the same.

They operate in the same manner and they attract the same clientele day in and day out. Just because you’ve decided to leave one dating site for another doesn’t mean that the quality of those people are going to honestly change.

This morning, I was alerted to the fact that someone had sent me a personal message through one of these online dating services. I haven’t been to it in such a long time. So long of a time, that it took nearly an hour to remember what the heck my password was to sign in to be able to read whatever message was waiting on me.

As I opened up the website, I didn’t even bother to really look to see who had contacted me. I went straight to the message.

“I keep seeing your name on other dating sites. Man, you must be lonely and desperate!”

That was it. That was the all-important message. And it was very rude, in my opinion. 

I decided to go and check out this woman’s profile while the fires in my mind steadily began to burn.

The “About Me” section was very aptly named and filled out. Whomever this 24 year old woman was… the entire profile, including the “About Me” section, was about HER, HER, HER… and HER.

But then she provided links in her “General Info” section. Links to about a dozen and a half OTHER online dating websites and was apparently her personal profile.

And “I” am the desperate and lonely one??

So I came to the decision to cancel. Not because of the 24 year old woman but because I simply never really use the website for what it is there for. Seriously though: an hour trying to remember what the password was. That is speaking in volumes.

And that’s where the insanity started. I attempted to simply cancel the account online. But then “A survey” came in the form of a pop-up and would not go away until I had filled it out. And this took several minutes to go through, as they were questioning what was wrong and why I was making the decision to leave their site. 

Just about the time that I thought that I was done, I was put through the process of chatting with one of their representatives in a quick chat log box that popped up in the corner of the screen. And it was a very persistent bugger. I clicked OUT of it. And then I would receive an error message and a new one would come up.

I probably should have went for the power cord at the back of my computer at this point, but it didn’t come to mind until much later. Instead my mind went through questioning whether or not I contracted a computer virus through all of this garbage.

More time wasted chatting with that person, that which I assume was really a bot.

And then I just clicked off the browser entirely. Within moments, the telephone rang and it was someone representing the dating site claiming that “we had a lost connection and so we looked up your personal information to be able to speak with you.”

Wow… privacy violations, anyone?!?!?!!?????

I felt like that guy who had to deal with AOL all of a sudden. But I didn’t lose my cool like he had, I stuck to my guns and only honestly answered about six questions and anything else that was asked, I told them to refer to my previous remarks.

For future reference to anyone wanting to cancel their online dating accounts and have to go to through with this: THEY DON’T LIKE THAT!!!! I am guessing their attention spans are not that great. I am only speculating though.

So a grand total of 3+ hours to get this thing cancelled. Starting the clock from the time I read that rude message by that 24 year old to the time where I felt that the job was done. 4 hours if you count the hour wasted trying to remember what in the world the password was to get into the website to begin with.

Ahh, life. You are something else!!!

Rent A Rebound

“My breakup with AT&T is final, and I’m done with Skype as the rebound guy.”~ Elayne Boosler

Thanks to the good people over at SourceFed, a YouTube channel full of umm… “news” …. I was made aware of this fine service that is available in the UK.

RENT A REBOUND helps create for you a lifestyle of a rebound boyfriend/girlfriend that will work over your ex’s senses to the point of absolutely jealousy and envy.

And that is the entire point of the service. A FAKE “significant other” or a bot, will be created just to fit your lifestyle on social media websites. And they will even create further fake “friends” for you so it seems as if you are suddenly the hottest commodity on the market. You know, now that you are single. Setting up fake fights over the Internet so that people will start paying more attention to you. And of course to make those exes of yours so insanely jealous that they’ll go crazy trying to figure out what they just left behind.

All of this for £399… about $500 USD.

So what do you think? Is this service worth it?? Is it something you would use?? Check out their website and then let me know in the comment section.

http://wish.co.uk/rent-a-rebound/

What Happened To Good Old Fashioned Truth?

“Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth.”~ Buddha

The Truth. Where did it go? Has anybody seen it? Does anyone speak it? And why all of a sudden are MEN coming to me, during this short time period of a post-Valentine’s Day???

Women: You’re severely dropping the ball here!!

In the past five days alone, two men have sat there, afraid that they were about to lose their masculinity because they cried on my shoulder. Why? Because women, of all people, have not been telling them the truth.

Male victim #1 came rushing after being what he called “blind-sided” by a woman that he had been chasing for the past year. She said to him that she was unavailable for dating until she got her feet on the ground and her life turned around in a better and more positive direction. She had in the past been going through some hardships and it was because of her own choices. He didn’t push as hard but he kept himself in her circles so that she would not forget about him. And apparently he would be a little flirty and what not just to keep the lines of interest open. He was expected to “wait out the storm” for about a year to a year and a half. And somewhere in the middle of that time period, he was being flirty to the one he liked and she came back with “I don’t think that my boyfriend would like that too much.”

When he asked how long that she had been dating… her answer would literally turn his stomach into knots to the point where he was literally crying in my presence. Holding his stomach, and getting the dry heaves.

Male victim #2 had a similar case of the fibs. His “dream girl” told him to wait for her too. Different situation and different reasons why to wait. Until he too came by very recently, drunk as a skunk and cussing like a sailor because of his anger and frustration over the fact that there are rumors that the woman he had waited for had been involved with another man the entire time.  The only difference is that victim #2 is battling rumors and has no way of finding out for sure whether or not what he’s been told is truthful or not.

Until the stress from the situation got him to a dark place. So he had no choice but to confront and ask. And of course, his dream girl denies everything…. but in his eyes he felt something was wrong. The next morning, the dream girl changed her Facebook relationship status to “in a relationship with ________” and it wasn’t his name.

I’ve been where victim #1 has been. I’ve personally been there once before. It was not fun at all. In fact, it was torture. On the odd side of things it did make it easier for me to just walk away from her. That was the unusual part.

So here’s the question: Why not tell the truth from the beginning? Who cares about whether or not you are afraid its going to hurt someone, would you rather hurt them with the truth than KILL them with lies?

Two things are going to happen in this arena when it comes to lies and deception:

#1- Once a person believes in a lie, they are going to live their life as if that lie is the truth because they are not going to think or believe that the reality is any other way. And that’s going to cause the liar to have to keep up and remember all the lies they’ve told … just to keep the lies going.  So once the lie is exposed, depending on how much time has gone by and how much that person who was lied to, believed in it…. will determine how much damage there’s to come of this. Again, why lie when you just hurt someone’s feelings and be done with it? Because feelings will heal and we will move on. Becoming damaged on the other hand, is totally different.

#2- No matter what you say, no matter what you do. Lies will ALWAYS be revealed. Truth trumps lies!! It doesn’t matter what you do or what you say…. in time (or I should say IN ITS OWN TIME) the lies will unravel and your deception will be in the spotlight. And you’ll have nothing left to hide behind but your own sadness. Not because of guilt but because you got caught. Just telling someone a bunch of crap because that’s what you think that the other person wants is not being so honest. And quite frankly if you have been lying, you deserve the reaction and consequence that will come forth.

WHY HAVE WE STOPPED TELLING THE TRUTH TO ONE ANOTHER?? Especially when it comes to relationships and how we treat one another. Telling the truth might be a new concept in 2014, but good grief!! That’s the way it used to be. So, why not go back from where we came?

We as human being needs to do one another right.

 

My Wake Up Call

“If she isn’t going to invest and spend time on you, then you should never spend any time on her.”~ G. Franklin

I think that often times I become fortunate to have those kinds of people that have no qualms about speaking their mind. And even when they do, that most times it becomes an awakening.

For the past several months, I’ve been living in a daydream. Or nightmare, whichever you prefer.

But this morning the person who gave us this blog post’s quote popped my bubble and woke me up.

The deep and rocky subject about my social and dating life was on the chopping board and he sliced that bad boy immediately in half, separating the bad from the still yet to be determined as well as the good.

I was discussing the possibility for a date with a woman that of course, I adulate in her beauty until the sun goes down. Then do it all over again when the sun comes back up.

But certain key elements of the date was not looking good or even possible. I was told that I should can the idea in a whole.

So when I asked about a Plan B, that was more accepted than the original concept of the date, which in all honesty the details were screwed up by her misunderstanding something along the way. And I do not know for sure where she got tripped up.  The parameters of the date were out of reach for me. I could not fulfill it even if I wanted to or tried.

Plan B was more beneficial to me. And it still got me the face time with this woman that I seek.

And yet I suffered.

Don’t allow others to stomp on your joy. Be assertive and take a stand to what you feel is most comfortable for you. And if they too are comfortable, they will follow. If they do not follow, they are not meant to be.

Nearly pining for a woman who was never really giving me any satisfaction and my somewhat confused and scattered brain believing that I could be the change caused nothing but emotional hell for me.

And one sentence that was uttered allowed me to break the chains from this internal misery and second-guessing of myself which always was a prelude of turmoil and pain.

Such a waste of time and energy and of course, effort on my behalf when there was very little to draw any kind of satisfaction or fulfillment.

I hope that we all can learn from my mistakes. But even more so, I hope that nobody ever intentionally puts themselves into my shoes at any time at all.

I feel freed from my own dark mental prison. The shackles are now gone and its no longer on my shoulders to bear the burden.

We will see how this updated date turns out, or even if she agrees with the terms of the date instead of what was originally proposed.

I cannot say that I know her that well enough to say that she will sway one way or another.

Time will tell.

But I realize that that in the meantime, there’s no fulfillment of joy or pleasure. I’m not receiving any amount of spent time on her behalf.

And who knows, the time in which we are supposed to be together is so far away that it might not even happen at all.

All I know is that I don’t have to worry about her any more, and if that day comes then it comes.

And if that day never comes, sorry- its her loss.

Therefore ….. so long, redhead. The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, moves on: nor all thy piety nor wit shall lure it back to cancel half a line, nor all thy tears wash out a word of it.

Misanthropy Here I Come!!!!

“Right now, I’m as single as a slice of American cheese.”~ Nick Cannon

I think I’m done for a while! A LONG LONG LONG WHILE!! 

Not to say that I am not open to the possibility if it presents itself on its own, but I’m done with the whole game of chase.

This past Tuesday I was out and about and long story short, I was being flirted with the woman behind the cash register at the restaurant I stopped in for lunch.

I saw two VERY obvious signs of flirtation and so I went in for the kill, so to speak.

I simply asked if she was busy at any time during the rest of this week. She said she was free Friday and I suggested that she and I go do something together.

Yes, I asked her out on a date. Something I normally wouldn’t do. One probably should have checked me for a fever. But that wouldn’t have mattered much as she said YES.

Shocked as I was, I was not turned down. I wanted her to more or less “speak closer into the microphone” but that would have made me look really stupid.

So I waited for Friday evening.

I must note that I listened to a radio program on the Internet who had interviewed Jodi Ambrose. The person to whom I am forever in debt for many things.

55 minutes of relationship goodness. Some laughs, some cries, you know… the whole nine yards. I’m biased in saying this, but I think it would be so much fun to actually talk with her.

I digress, moving on to the date.

I was honest with this woman and told her that I didn’t drive. She said that it would not be a problem and we would meet somewhere in the middle and go from there.

And we did that.

But we sat there in the vehicle for at least ten minutes butting heads and arguing about what to do. Either I didn’t have the money or she didn’t have the desire. It was always something. But all of that head butting caused the both of us to be hungry.

It was a decision better suited for choice and a lot easier.

We sat there really close to one another, and I talked so much about sledge hockey, and this blog, and other things about me that my food got cold. I ALWAYS do that!! Dang!!!!

But she sat there in interest and amazement as  I set out to show her that even though I am in a wheelchair, that I can still have a full and productive life. Anyone who thinks otherwise can just suck on it.

She was admiring my sense of humor as well. But I noticed that she was beginning to check the door every time someone came in. And then she would stare and watch as they walked by.

Suddenly piece after piece after piece of hunkalicous male eye candy walked through that door. And I have no idea where in the world they came from.

We are talking about the male specimens that ANY woman is going to notice. It does not matter whether you are single, married, in a relationship, divorced,  or half-dead…. these men would make ANY woman purr like a kitten even if its only inside of her head.

Okay, fine. I’m not as “hot” as these guys who were coming in. But my date kept staring at them so much that it got to the point where she kept asking me to repeat what I just said. If I would have kept count, I probably would have killed her.

Why? Because I was uncomfortable and angry.

What she did not know is that the radio interview with Jodi Ambrose briefly discussed just that, and how men should never do that in front of their woman. Well of course it goes both ways.

I was no longer having fun any more. And I was stuck with not knowing really what to do. Should I tell her that her staring at these men was making me feel ill or should I just grin and bear it??

I decided to go with the honest, brutal truth. I told her that because she keeps staring at these men, it is drawing her attention away from me and it was insulting.

She asked me what I expected her to do about it because they were so hot. I just told her that I was finished and it was just better to take me back home. 

As I got out of the vehicle and attempted to speak to her as a human being, wanting to let her eye-humping activities go… she decided to fight back.

Okay…… WOW!!!

This girl went on and on and on to excuse her bad behavior by justifying the fact that these men were much more attractive than I.

She included the fact that she believed that these men are so attractive that they had more money than I would ever dare to dream of having.

Yes, she really went THAT FAR with her campaign of protecting herself by attempting to put me down. And this came up because I told her that I wanted to go home if she was not going to stop looking at these men and was not going to pay attention to me talking with her.  

There is no joke to this. I wouldn’t dare of making something like this up considering the huge length of time in between now and the last time I went on a date that was actually considered a date.

Intimacy even has a longer timeline. But we will not discuss it.

However, this meme says it all.

It really sucks to know that this woman was the person to make the first move. She flirted with me first. She agreed to the date. And then when it was sabotaged by her own lusts, she turned out to be a royal pain.

And so armed with the relationship advice of the powerful and mighty Jodi Ambrose, I caught on to what she was doing. Hell, I cannot even be sure if she really or truly wanted to be there. But if she didn’t then why did she agree to the date?

So now I dunk my sorrows in the cookies purchased from The Cape Cod Cookie Company that was received today. Chocolate….. YUM!

I highly suggest you look them up and order yourself a half or full dozen today.

Meanwhile I’m done. I know that it doesn’t pay at all but I might consider a career in misanthropy.

People today STILL are this abhorrent and cruel, and its uncalled for.

I’ll heal. But will I be scarred????

Dining Or Dating?

“You think relationships are difficult? Try friendships. Try courting someone in order to convince them to join you in some nameless, shapeless Platonic complication — forever. Convince an adult stranger that you are worth a healthy slice of their limited time and energy without the prize of sex or romance.”~ Laura Jayne Martin

Time for a review. Why? A- because its become necessary unfortunately. B- Going to catch up for some of the people who are newer to this blog than others.

This afternoon, I received a telephone call from a man who was whining and complaining and going on and on about how his dating life was starting to stink.

I asked him when he started having a girlfriend. He said that he did not have one. But he had been dating one girl that just flew his rocket and it hasn’t been going well. When I asked him why, he shouted at me that he didn’t know and he wanted to know what to do.

So with him screaming (and crying) in my ear, I came to drill down to the bedrock of his problem.

Expectation. Or intention. Whichever term you choose.

He had been taking his special girl out to dinners. A few times they would meet for lunch. But they hadn’t gone and shared in any other activity other than one of the three meals of the day.

Well, everyone has to eat.

He has been coming across with his invitation that its nothing but a meal. Even though he’s been wanting to improve his relationship with this woman and maybe see if they couldn’t get a little more serious.  

He’s also paying for it each and every time. So guess what then?? She’s taking him on for free meals because according to him, that’s all it is. It is his own words.

Being that I know the both of them personally, the guy asked me to be the middle man… the go-between…. and talk with her to make her realize that its not just dinner but dating.

I knew right away there was a red flag. But I went ahead and was going to talk to the woman in the first place over something completely unrelated and found it absolutely easy for the topic of conversation for her and I to talk about him and what she thought and felt about him taking her out to eat.

I didn’t need to bring it up myself. It just presented itself.

I have bad news for the guy:  She just isn’t looking for that in him. She already has a crush on another man.  And she IS dating him. But because of his terminology and vocabulary, she doesn’t feel that she is doing anything wrong. Of course she is worried about whether or not she is coming across  that she is only being a leech because he keeps paying for all these times they go out to eat.

So now with them, not only is it expectation and intention. It is also communication.

Umm, I wouldn’t suggest doing that if I were you!!

He likes her. He wants to date her or have a serious relationship with her.

She likes him. But she doesn’t want him to think that she’s the kind of woman who is using him for free meals.

Now what?

He needs to express himself clearer with her. He needs to tell her of his future intention. Even though you and I now both know that’s going to end in rejection.

She needs to tell him that she’s got her eyes locked on someone else. And she also needs to express her concern and get him to admit his feelings of whether or not he “thinks” she is using him. And then tell him that’s not what she’s doing.

If people would somehow learn to be more open with one another, these difficult situations wouldn’t come around as often. At least, I don’t think so.

And I wouldn’t have to suffer something like this as much as I do. If at all.

Besides, a relationship cannot survive for long without decent communication.

 

 

Cancellation Prone

“The moving finger writes, and having written moves on. Nor all thy piety nor all thy wit, can cancel half a line of it.”~ Omar Khayyam

For most of my adolescence and young adulthood, I had always considered and thought that a cancellation was based on something more than it actually was.

Throughout my high school years, I was THE KING of no-shows, no calls, being stood up, and downright cancelled at the last possible and final minute.

Not that I was the one doing the cancelling but rather I was being cancelled upon!

I recall asking a girl in high school if she wanted to go out for some ice cream after a vocal performance in which the entire town was going to be attending. Yes, I asked her out on a date. And I even explained that she and I would both be performing in our perspective choirs and therefore afterwards, all she had to do was drive the both of us to get ice cream and then after we were finished, drop me off at home.

My parents were not that willing to believe that it was going to happen. My father stayed behind, until he and I were the only bodies left in the auditorium nearly an hour and a half after the ending of the performance.

I didn’t even cry or get upset about it. It was like I was actually expecting it to happen and then it did. The worst part of it was that I had a class with that girl the next morning and she would be forced to deal with it. The only optimism that I received was my father telling me that I didn’t have to spend any money and I still had that money in my pocket for something that I might really and truly want later on…. OTHER THAN taking a girl on a date.

That next day in class, I did receive the explanation that she was told to come straight home from her parents after the performance and she didn’t want to get into further trouble at home. But I received nothing in notice of this and I could have saved myself the humiliation of standing there all alone with my father and gone straight home or done something different.

I didn’t say anything to her. I didn’t point the finger. I just nodded and never brought it up again. Until now.

Throughout the rest of my adult life, I began to wonder if the problem was who I was. Particularly when it came to the areas of dating and relationships.

I knew that I would be rejected by many. But I was confident that eventually a NO would turn into a YES. And at times, I would receive that YES. But again, only to be cancelled on or stood up and without any good reason as to why they never showed up.

I just couldn’t understand the why. And I began to blame myself for it. Was I coming on too strong after the woman agreed to the date? Was I in some way, being a total and complete douchebag because I finally found someone who would say YES??

Fast forward to these past months of 2013.

I’ve been up and knocked down so many times that its not worth counting the times I’ve dusted off and got back on the horse. I’m just glad that the horse never runs away when I get knocked off of it!

These past few months I have been going through it all over again, in one capacity or another. And yes, being rejected really sucks. Its not fun. And it hurts…. really hurts.

But I am done with the self-blaming.

Most recently I have made effort after effort after effort to expand my social life, only to find myself with the ending results that I experienced in my youth. And these were not even circumstances in which dealt with dating or relationships.  So I’m also done with the butthurt.

She simply never told me why she stood me up until she was forced to deal with the confrontation the following day.

To be fair, there are times in which a cancellation must happen because of circumstances that come that are beyond our control. And we must deal with that. I get that. I’ve always known that. But I’ve always excused people’s behavior to be just that.

One must really take into consideration what people are doing to you, when they are continually cancelling on you for a myriad of reasons and/or excuses.

I believe in giving people a second chance in these situations because simply shit happens. But if the shit is constantly draining, then you should really think about the kind of person you are dealing with and realize just how long you are willing to put with that stream of shit that they keep pouring out. How deep are you willing to let it get??

And if you are easily manipulated and controlled, just like I was in high school, then you too will eventually be up the creek with no paddle.

As for me, I can probably give people a chance or two but no more. After that, I must think about the kind of person that I am messing with and see for myself whether or not they are just full of excuses or just cancellation prone.

For myself, having gone through it practically my entire life…. I’ve adopted the “one and done” method. Its basically goes with the expression of fool me once, shame on me.

There are better people out there in this great big world who are worth far more than the people we are attempting to connect with. People who are willing to give to you what you need and open to receive what you are willing to give to them in return.

Those who do not fit inside that category? Think to yourself: Do you REALLY need them??? The answer is probably going to come out as NO. So rid yourself of the anguish. Don’t cement yourself in a place where you are going to be stood up and cancelled on all of the time. Don’t be like I was in high school!!! Its definitely not a picnic.

So here I sit, thinking about those who have put me through this process in most recent times. Ready to shove them into the rear view mirror. Opening myself to different and new opportunities with other people.

One and done, everyone. Are you ready??????

 

Drawing The Line On Dating & Relationships

“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things. “~ Keanu Reeves

How I got into a conversation about sex and relationships with a female friend of mine, I just cannot remember. But I think that I brought up a few fine points that was a bit surprising to her as to what I would and would not do. As well as who I was chase and who I would not chase.

Perhaps its the idea that a male actually has some kind of boundary where a line would be drawn. Because as you well know, the stereotype is that a man will go after anything and everything that moves.

We all as humans have that list of people that just knock our socks off. Or at least in our own minds and fantasies, we believe that would be so if we ever come across the chance to be with that person in an intimate way.

I mentioned that there are no actresses from Hollywood on my own personal list. I think that probably threw my friend into shock.

I continued with my opinion that dating a Hollywood actress would be extremely difficult as their entire profession, their lifetime career is based on them being someone else, portraying another person, and pretending to be someone else.

I feel that one would run the risk of dating someone so involved in their craft that one could not tell what their  TRUE feelings are for a person. And a theory that I’ve always had is that is why there are so many divorces in Hollywood when popular celebrities get married to one another. 

Yes I know, there are exceptions. But there’s always exceptions to the rule. There ARE a small list of actresses that I would like to get to know– if you catch my drift. But deep down, that uncertainty of them not having true feelings for me is a bit of a deal breaker for me.

I am simply not the kind of person that would want to test that kind of theory. Especially if the odds are that my theory is correct. A risk I am not willing to take personally.

Along the same lines, I am not willing to chase after any woman in the pornography business. I think a majority of people can actually understand that though. If that means that I am a jealous man, then whatever. But I am also what some would consider “old school”. And still others, pious. In other words: honest, faithful, and true to the person that I have entered into a relationship with.

I could say its that kind of attitude that has found me in so much heartache and pain in the past, but I tend to think that I had made the wrong choices and found myself with someone who didn’t feel the same way about the situation as I did.

The thought of being in a relationship like that, only to know that they are gone to their work and “doing their thang” with other people and then coming home again, ehhh…. yeah, that’s NOT for me!!

The other thing that I cannot find myself doing, is dating the supermodel. The reason for that is best defined in two simple words: high maintenance.

Granted, what man wouldn’t want to be seen in public with an uber-attractive woman on his arm?? But is that beauty worth the price of what is going on inside of her head??

A lot of them have tons of issues. Personal, mental, psychological. Some are in the industry for their own self-gratification. They have the NEED to feel desired and wanted. Their own self-esteem is next to nothing. Their looks set high expectations and their personalities usually fail to deliver.

Again, there are exceptions to the rule. So this is not to say that ALL of them are like that.

But these kinds of women all have a few things in common.

These women are used to being objectified by men. All of the time. It doesn’t stop. Having to deal with pushing back these objectifying people would be exhausting.  In my own personal experiences, it has been a constant struggle to settle down the male counterparts that I dealt with when I was in any kind of serious relationship.

I even had to go as far as threaten to terminate certain friendships that I had with other men because of their constant talk about who I was with at the time.

One woman that I had a relationship with once before was actually back in my life after I broke it off with her. It was a useless attempt to try again to see if we couldn’t figure out what went wrong and correct it to make things right. 

She had the extreme nerve to express in front of one of my guy friends that she was, shall we say “well skilled” in certain aspects.

My buddy kept calling her bluff. It was something that he knew that she did NOT like. She couldn’t stand it when people would refuse to believe her and she would be damned before she quit trying anything that was on the face of the planet to convince them that she was telling the truth.

Then she offered to take him and prove it personally.

I couldn’t figure out which bothered me more, the fact that this girlfriend and I were attempting to try again, or the fact that my buddy wasn’t even cracking a smile or expressing that he was only joking with her because he knew that he could get a rise out of her. It was like he was seriously considering her offer.

I eventually spoke up and said that IF the two of them were actually going to participate in this so-called proof of action, that A- they were going to leave my home and go somewhere else far, far, far away. And B- neither one of them was to ever show their faces to me for as long as I lived.

Was it jealousy or justification???

Two days later, I kicked her out from visiting my home and went out of town for a weekend. I couldn’t have her staying in my home while I was gone, and nobody had the money needed to drag her along to pay for her.

She never returned. Then she told me that she was getting back with a different ex-boyfriend and I cut the cord from her completely.

I didn’t talk to my friend for a few months. Until he confronted me and said that he wasn’t going to leave until we hammered out the problem. Of which we did. The friendship lasted longer, the attempt to revive a disaster of a romantic relationship did not.

But as I begin to get off track here, I HATED having to do that. I am fully aware that if I am ever with a woman that there is going to be the possibility of some other man looking at her. Someone may objectify her. But when it comes to the situation of being in a relationship with a model or someone of that “caliber” then its just something that I will have to continuously keep ahead of, and that’s what I think is part of the high maintenance of it all.

I don’t like that. I’m really not that great at it as I don’t like to start confrontations. I’d much rather avoid it.

Yes, I do have those few certain someones that deep down really just flip me on like a switch. To deny that would just be foolish and misleading. But going after what some men consider the BIG PRIZE is not within my own DNA.

So I will continue on. I’ll be sure to take more risks when it comes to even talking with women. I’ll go ahead and attempt to bite the bullet so to speak. And eventually when it comes right down to it, when THAT ONE has arrived in my life, then I will move forward to build and create a new relationship. There are just certain types of relationships that I personally choose not to go after.

 

Brick Walls

“If at first you don’t succeed….” 

Yeah, I know… “try, try again”. Shut up!!

There comes a time when a person will fall to humiliation and defeat. And its all up to that person of whether or not they get back up and dust themselves off.

Then there comes a time when you shrug off so much dirt and dust that you learn that you are strong enough to do it again.

And then there comes a time where you fall and it just gets plain stupid and often, funny once you’re able to look back at it and laugh.

I think that throughout my life I’ve hit the brick wall so many times and in so many different ways that it is almost comical.

But I have to say, that things are different now than what they used to be ten or more years ago. My own shyness was killing my social life. I wouldn’t go up to anyone and talk to them.

As of most recently though, running into that brick wall has been one giant bruise after another. I’m like a disaster waiting to happen.

I was just out and about and I went up to a woman and started to talk to her. It started out innocent enough and then the conversation kept expanding to other topics. Eventually, I thought that this woman might be someone that I could be interested to talking to again. And then it went south and that wall was waiting for me when I reached the bottom.

About the time that I actually had moved closer to her, she moved back a little. At the time I was talking about sledge hockey and I guess it was difficult for her to envision me playing a sport. So then I asked if maybe she would be interested in watching me play and that’s when I moved closer.

Yeah, I probably did invade her personal comfort zone. But women don’t have a visible force field or a sign that says “DO NOT CROSS THIS LINE!”.

Within five minutes of that, a man came up from behind her and picked her up and swung her around like a helicopter blade.

Hmmm.

I had already said and done what I did, and wouldn’t you know it she’s got one HELL of a jealous boyfriend. He wanted to kick my ass apparently. I said “nice to meet ya” and got out of there.

There’s been other times where I have actually had the testicular fortitude to say to someone “let’s meet here at this place and time”. And sure enough they would show up. I had met one woman in this manner. After only talking two days online I said she should meet me at this local beer joint. She and I for those previous two days would learn a little bit about one another and I would always hear about how she had this male roommate in the apartment that she lived in. And she had been considering moving out to be on her own.

But when I was face to face with her (and she had a few beers in her) the term “roommate” changed to “boyfriend”.

And there I was in a small bar with her, having drinks. Ugh, the humiliation!

What is worse than falling down in these types of scenarios are the times where you realize that you’ve made a mistake, and you just cannot seem to find a way to retreat out of it.

This seems to happen to me most when I am in Houston. Because its happened more than once.

Okay, okay…. more than twice.

I was talking with a woman and she smiled and I liked it, so I started to flirt. But nothing happened. So I turned up the juice. Flirting and complimenting was getting nowhere.

Then I had abandoned that for straight up hitting on her.

There was nothing still. I had said and done all that I could think of. And then days after I had been home, I was informed that the woman I was speaking to was married. WHERE’S MY ABORT BUTTON?!?!?

I should probably count my lucky stars though. I’m still alive!

I can see how it could put a damper on ever trying that again. Ever! But then I have to remind myself that life is short. And eventually there will come a time where the brick wall of humiliation, despair, and self-cringing will not be there.

Being single can get lonely and it can get very difficult. Being physically disabled adds a whole new level of difficulty when you are single. But not TRYING can be just as devastating. Each and every time this has happened to me, I refer to them as “war wounds”.

I think that what can be given to me as credit is the fact that I am able to look back after awhile and just laugh. Granted that I may or may not make the exact same mistakes, but I can laugh.