Vexing Vocabulary

“Actually, I’ve always had a rather extensive vocabulary, not to mention a phenomenal grasp of grammar and a superlative command of syntax. I simply chose not to employ them.”~ Courtland Mead as ‘Uh-Huh’ in “The Little Rascals” [1994]

In my book, etymology rocks!!

It is something that totally fascinates me and usually I do what I can to make sure that I am increasing my own vocabulary.

Throughout the years, I’ve done so for various reasons. One to be smarter, one to sound like I know what I am talking about, one to be cool. And so on.

But I think that I also enjoy learning about the origins in which particular words and phrases come from. And I am always trying to find other words that would fit so closely to the original word to make sure that I don’t sound like I am a broken record with the rest of society.

Several years ago I had actually started a code with two other friends. We used the English language, but when spoken… it didn’t really make much sense to those listening. And that was the point! Being at that young of an age where the discovery of females had just begun, we wanted a way to talk about them without them knowing it.

Don’t get me wrong, we weren’t perverts. The code was not as degrading as I am probably making it sound. For example: “sapphires” were blue eyes. “Emeralds” were green eyes, and so on.

It was just our own personal take on the English language.

But the English language has also changed so much over the past several years. There are words now that we say, that had a completely different meaning so long ago.

Words like gay, bitch, hot, and cool.

'i' before 'c' accept after... oh screw it! I don't need this, I'm hot!!!

The word “gay” which was used to describe being happy now has its own definition of describing someone’s sexual orientation. The word “bitch” used to be solely describing a female dog, now it is said in a derogatory meaning, commonly against women. “Hot and cool” were defining temperature, now its defining the social statuses of being attractive and socially acceptable.

I can even remember a time when on television, you were not able or supposed to say the word “bitch”.

Just the other day, I found something that actually made me happy. The word DIVORCE has more meaning or definition than the commonly understood “dissolution of marriage”. When the word “divorce” is spoken- many people shutter. Many MARRIED people, I should say.

But the word is more than just a dissolution of a marriage contract.

Some people have actually heard me say, “If you do that- I wanna divorce.” Those who have heard it, either understand what I am saying, or they get all wonky and uncomfortable because they don’t understand.

In this case, the second definition of the word DIVORCE means to separate or break apart. So then if I say “If you do that- I wanna divorce”… means “if you do whatever it is you are going to do, then I’m not going to speak to you any more.” I am going to have to separate myself from you, or divorce myself from you, essentially. And that should be a great indication to you that I am saying that I disagree with your wanting to do that and strongly advice you not to go through with it.

Brushing up on your vocabulary couldn’t hurt. It doesn’t mean you have to completely talk differently. It just means that you have more than a few words to express yourself in other ways. Even if your goal is to sound impressive, I am sure that you will succeed. But as I always say, and always will say: “Knowledge is power.”

Concupiscence

Well, I think that several friends of mine who are writers and authors would be very proud of me today.

I learned something new, and it truly is an amazing word! Some of us would dare to characterize it as a “humdinger” of a word.

Concupiscence

 

Concupiscence is defined as:

1. Strong desire, especially sexual desire; lust

2. ardent, usually sensuous, longing.

Wow! Pretty nice, eh??

This word couldn’t be any more clear in its definition. I honestly couldn’t see where there might be any confusion to what this word means. But just to be safe, I looked up the origin of the word.

Origin:

Concupiscence is from Late Latin concupiscentia, from the present participle of Latin concupiscere, “to desire eagerly,” from com-, intensive prefix + cupere, “to desire.” The adjective form is concupiscent. The name of the ancient Roman god of love, Cupid, comes from the same root. Probably 1300-1350 A.D.

The word possibly comes from the Middle English and French as well.

I do not know if Marina Orlova has covered this word on her YouTube channel or not. If not, then I think that she should. She studies the origins of words, and uses her sex appeal to garnish viewers. Perhaps in a sense, she could be described as concupiscence.

I’m going to attempt to paint a picture for those of you reading who aren’t 100% sure where the lines are drawn on the definition of this word.

If you find a person that you think is physically and sexually attractive and all you can think about is engaging with that person in sexual congress. That desire to do that, is concupiscence.

Concupiscence- an ardent sexual lust.

As I said, if you go by the two examples of definition that I’ve provided for you, then it really shouldn’t be all that confusing to what the word means. However, I will say this. I’ve not had so much fun learning a word since the discovery of the word:

Feculent

 

Going Beyond Skin Deep

Beauty is a characteristic of a person that provides a perceptual experience of pleasure, meaning, or satisfaction.

And I might as well add that beauty is also defined through the eyes of the beholder. What one person can define as beautiful may not be what another person would define it.

Is beauty only skin deep? Well, physical beauty is. We grow old, get wrinkles, our hair and teeth fall out. But so what? This doesn’t mean that once these things begin to happen to us that we cease to be beautiful! That only means that we are going through the entire cycle of life.

But there are other things that make people beautiful. And it is frustrating for me personally, that so many fail to see that. There is such thing as “inner beauty”. But it does not seem to make a bit of difference in this society today. It seems as if the infatuation with beauty is only that physical beauty. And unfortunately, others are influenced by that entire way of thinking. Just because a woman is not a 36-24-36, causes so many women to fall into the traps of insecurity and the feelings of being ugly and never beautiful.

The same for men. Just because we don’t have abs of steel and fully loaded arms of biceps that could choke a horse, doesn’t necessarily mean that men are not beautiful either.

So it becomes extremely frustrating when I tell a woman who I think is beautiful and everything just falls apart for them. Why? Because for whatever reason she has felt that she is not meeting the standards of beauty. What they are not hearing from me is that I am telling them that there is a specific characteristic about them that I find genuinely attractive. So I am drawn to it, and therefore “I” believe that woman is beautiful.

I got laughed at and ridiculed a while ago because I was amongst other guys and they were talking about the last person they had kissed. When I had disclosed the person with whom I last shared any kind of kiss with, I was totally mocked because these men were not thinking of her as beautiful. Simply because she did not meet their arrogant standards of physical beauty. But I didn’t care.

Let’s just set aside for the moment that I am just the kind of person who is affectionate, but I found something within this woman attractive. And it had nothing to do with her bra or waist size or how she potentially would look in a bikini. And they could not understand that.

If I say to you, “You are a beautiful person”… then you best believe that I totally mean it and have all beliefs and faith in my words that they are true, to me. And I am not setting out to gain something by flattery or just trying to make your mood better. What I have said, I have meant.

It has gone on far long enough that OTHERS are the ones who define what beautiful is, and my own opinion means nothing. My opinion does mean something, and it should to you if I am comfortable enough talking to you and expressing it. Naturally as a human being you have the right to disagree. But do you disagree because OTHERS have said that you are NOT beautiful and are instead ugly? Or is it some other kind of insecurity that plagues you to the point that it forces you to just roll your eyes at me?

I honestly do not care if others disagree. But I will stand behind those who would dare to agree. We should learn to love ourselves and not be so wildly influenced by the mottos of other persons.

Whether it is on the outside or on the inside, that characteristic remains within. And that is what draws me to my beliefs. Many people have called me “sweet, nice, thoughtful” and other things. My response is always the same: Love me or leave me.

If you are being told by someone else that you are not beautiful, because you don’t have the long flowing hair, fake boobs and everything else or because you do not have those six-pack abs… then LOVE yourself and LEAVE them. Focus less on their negativity.

I could go on forever explaining how you are so wonderfully beautiful deep down inside, and I don’t care if you do not look like “the others like in Hollywood”. Because I will never allow Hollywood to shape and mold my own definitions and opinions on what I find pleasurable.

So be proud of yourself. Love yourself because even if Hollywood nor the rest of the world just never thinks you can cut it to be beautiful, there’s always going to be that one person whom you never see, that will disagree with them all.

 

 

Normalcy Doesn’t Exist

At the end of what was to be my first romantic relationship, I was needing to return to the scene of the crime after the fires had settled and the smoke had cleared.

I had to go back to the house of my former lover’s sister and retrieve the rest of my belongings and get them out of her house and into what would be my first ever apartment.

It was a creepy feeling being back there after so long, but it had to be done. I wasn’t sure if the war was going to flare up again and her sister taking up her side of things and leaving me alone to defend myself in the battle zone.

I was fortunate that her sister was a bit more mature over matters than my ex. Or so I thought.

Still though, it was quite a nervous time. I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. Was I to just go there, get my junk, and get out? Or was I to socialize and say “hello” and maybe stay for a beer?

I spoke to her sister in soft, shortened words. I didn’t have time to mix any of them. As I collected what belonged to me that had not been hoarded and ransacked through already.

Then I simply asked her sister, “How is she doing?”.  That was it. I didn’t want to know anything other than that. The last that I had known was that she was in the hospital, trying to work on resolving some issues she had. Which at the time, I thought was excellent for her. She would see the error of her ways and she would realize that the life she had was not so horrible and she would return back to me and it would be happily ever after. What a frickin’ joke of a thought that was!!

The rage and fury that would settle over me from her response would never be matched again by anything else that I had encountered or experienced.

She had told me, “She’s fine. She is out of the hospital now. And living with a guy, somewhere.” I nodded, believing in that. I really did not think that my ex was going to “take the time” to get over the relationship that just ended horribly and on seriously bad terms. I had expected that she was only going to bounce from one man to the next. And I was being proven right. But that’s not what got to me.

Her sister then added, “Her new boyfriend is really nice. Probably the nicest guys she’s dated in a long time. And he’s … you know… normal.”

Perhaps a back story would help here:

When I got together with my first girlfriend, she too, had Spina Bifida. She was confined to a wheelchair from the severity of her disability. At that point in my life, I did not believe that I would EVER be in any romantic relationship with just any woman. I had settled for this one, because I felt that because she dealt with a lot of the same things in life and I would not have to worry about the fear of being with someone who didn’t understand that would judge me for everything that I had to deal with, or have to sit down on a daily basis and explain everything. So she was the one that I chose for those reasons. I settled, very much so and I realize that now. Besides it was my first rodeo. There was a lot to learn.

NOW… she’s with someone “normal”.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over??

Okay, nevermind that she just said that this new guy was the nicest ever, totally insulting me to my face and insinuating that I was not nice or not nice enough… but “normal”????

I wondered in my mind if she had heard herself! Yes, I understand that my ex had moved on. I expected that. I also had expected tons more maturity from her sister. I believe that it would have been better received had she said “He is not physically disabled.” Hell, I probably would have even accepted “He’s not in a wheelchair.”

Normal???

I attempted to find a solid definition of the word. The best that I came up with was that normal is defined as “something that does not stray from what is consistant or the usual.”

That is not a  solid definition at all.

What is “normal” for some, is not normal for others. Just because this new boyfriend of hers could walk, does not make him any more or any less “normal” than me. It only means that he has more capability to walking than I do. Normal does NOT exist!

“Normal” is one of those terms that can only be defined by each individual person. But, each definition is NOT going to be the same time and time again. “Normal” is within the eye of the beholder. And therefore, normal doesn’t exist because there is not one solid definition that is accepted by everyone.

Is it normal that a man will get up at 6:00 in the morning every day, get into the shower at 6:15, and then eat breakfast at 6:30 right before he goes for a 3 mile jog? No! Because not EVERYONE does the same thing. It is only normal for that person because that is what he does every day and it is something that is consistent with only him.

Is it normal that I wake up at 8:45 every morning, get into the shower at 10:15 and then watch Internet pornography for 15 hours straight? Of course not! Because not everyone in the world does that. (And neither do I, so don’t even! I’m just trying to prove a point.)

So the word “normal” is something that is entirely incomplete. The definition is really just spread so thin because it means so many different things. Yes, generally it means something that stays consistent, but consistency bends from one person to the next.

How her sister could’ve said such a thing was something that I could not fathom. I bit my own tongue to keep me from ripping hers out.

I do not remember saying much more to her at all, other than “thank you” when I left. I never went back there again. It could have been that she didn’t know what to say to me either at that point and that was the only way she could describe what was going on. But she could have done better. A lot better. There was a million and one other things that she could have said to explain to me that this man could walk and had no physical disability that was similar to me. “Think before you speak” should’ve been something that went through her mind before she opened her mouth.