Posts Tagged ‘disabled’

fightwc“We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”~ Winston Churchill

I don’t think that I have ever felt such frustration as I am about to write about in all of my life as an adult. Eventually this will go away, but this blog has always had the original intent to be my therapy so buckle up.

And before you start going on and on about how fighting is never the answer. Yeah, I know that. You just need to keep reading.

I went out the other night and I ran into this woman that I had not seen in a very long time. Someone that I have wanted to see more of but never actually do.

And while she did hang out with me for part of the night, I did notice that she would disappear off and on. I didn’t know if she was going to the restroom, or going to the bar, or going outside to smoke, or anything.

I will spare you the boring and long details of the evening, but I will mention that I was making the moves, and I planned to see just how far it would go and to see where I stand with her.

But during her frequent disappearances I noticed that when I looked around for her that she was standing there talking to another man who also was in a wheelchair. That guy and I would pass by each other a lot and he always was giving me dirty looks. I tried to engage him in conversation but he never said a word to me. I even threw him a compliment and still got nothing.

However after I decided to make a move, I noticed that whenever she was socializing or doing whatever it was with the other guy, he was doing the same stuff I was doing.

What in the world?!?!?!??

The woman is beautiful. She’s going to gain attention, I get that. But I felt like this guy was taking away from me and taking for himself.

This non-verbal, non-physical altercation of an event was happening.

Physically speaking… even though he and I lack severely in that department, he still had a bigger build than I. If he and I were to stand up and face each other, he would in fact be much larger than I in all capacities.

At that point I knew that if something between he and I broke out, he would have the advantage and probably the victory. But as time went on, I realized that he kept drinking and this was actually causing him to become weaker and ultimately a burden for anyone surrounding him.

At times when I would actually go and seek her out and find her with him, he gave even more dirty looks towards my direction. I took it as a non-verbal threat. This shit is not cool!!

Towards the end of the night, this woman did come to me to tell me that she was leaving. I offered to walk her outside so I knew she was safe, but she emphatically refused my offer.

She left, and then shortly after the other guy left. But I cannot definitively tell you that they left together.  I don’t know that.

I realize that I live in a certain corner of society where it is the survival of the fittest. I know that it is winner take all. But what people don’t realize about this kind of world, for who do not live the same as I do that it is an understatement to say that it is brutal.

Two men fighting go at it until there is a clear loser. We always hear about how if two women fight that it is even worse because they never fight fair.. pulling hair, clawing each other and so on. It is not pretty.

So then let me explain that if two disabled people are in a physical fight, it is far worse than you have ever seen!!

Because of the fact that they are disabled to begin with, they fight like they have nothing in the world to lose and everything to gain. They literally fight to the death. The only two ways that a fight between two physically disabled people come to an end is if someone steps in and breaks it up, or the victor realizes that their opponent is near death and they don’t want to go to jail or have that on their minds for the rest of their lives.

Disabled people already are engaged in a fight for their lives because of all that we have to deal with in daily life. Going down in a blaze of glory for something we want to have or to protect is not a second thought. There have been too many times where I have found myself in that situation and I did what I did to make sure that I protected myself.

Now that a few days have passed, I think about how I probably could have taken this other guy down after realizing that he had too much to drink and probably couldn’t fend for himself that much.  But I never went after him for it. I also knew that starting a war with him from the moment that I saw what was going on would have been a personal disaster for me. I am still pissed off about it. And I could probably blame everyone and everything. Him, her, and myself included.

Some of you reading this might say that she’s not worth it. But I think that it is worth something because if I had not done anything I would never find out for sure where she and I stand, or could stand because there is no omelets without breaking any eggs.

Carpe diem, baby!

tiger

“Zoo animals are ambassadors for their cousins in the wild.”~ Jack Hanna

Finally! At long last!! I was able to convince my neighbors and members of staff to actually go to the zoo.

Working this project for almost four years, and going through three different social services coordinators… the hard would work pay off.

OR would it?!?

Everyone knew that this was “my baby” and everyone knew that I had been trying this for a long, long, long time.

So it was put on the calendar and suddenly there was more talk about what to do while we were out. Some of the rest of my neighbors saw to it that we would stop somewhere on our way to the zoo to stop and have lunch.

And so we would stop to eat.

It wasn’t bad. This new Mexican food restaurant.

Probably the only thing that would be worthy mentioning about this place is the SNAFU that happened when some other waitress placed before me someone else’s plate. And throughout the rest of our time sitting in this restaurant, I just would not hear the end of it.

Until I finally embraced it and fired back. Yeah, don’t barb on Dambreaker. Dambreaker will get you back!!!

So on to the zoo which is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy the hell out there! It probably took more than an hour to drive. And that was ridiculous point #1.

Another twenty minutes, we could have been in another city and visited THEIR zoo.

Upon arrival, you could hear the wild animals screaming. It was just slightly disheartening as it sounded like someone was screaming “help!” for some reason. Turned out to be the peacocks that were roaming around on the property towards the front entrance of the zoo.

These loud mouth fowls were everywhere. Although they did not spread out their feathers on display.  peacock

Yet they were the ones that were screaming.

Inside the main office building was their basic central operations.

Admissions, business, administration, and of course gift shop.

And what do we know about me with gift shops?

Yes… you cannot leave me unattended. And the group of five other people did just that in the gift shop area of the building.

They have a sign up about their policy of if you spend $50 or more, then you get a FREE zoo admission for future use that will expire in about a year.

Yes, I have that FREE admission.  But I am about to tell you why I am not going to personally use it. I’ll either just let it go to waste or give it to someone who wants it.

Going out the back door to go see all the animals, there was already a problem. Gravel, dirt, and hills.

Geez!! I couldn’t really get up the first hill that passed into the main part of the zoo where the majority of the animals were. I had been found by a stranger who asked if I wanted help. It took three adult women to get me up that stupid hill.

And going down the hill was not fun either. Whomever designed the zoo and constructed its pathways is a complete and total idiot who had NO regards to the elderly or disabled.

None whatsoever!!

No, I do NOT care how old this zoo is… this was shady and ridiculous. rsz_41rsz_2165

I have no idea how many animals I missed getting to see because of this. But I saw some of the major animals that zoos normally have on display. Needless to say that before I left the office I asked about eagles and they admitted to not having any.

In an effort to be very mean I said outloud, “Then why am I here?”

Yeah… I absolutely did.

I probably should have been paying more attention as it would have been a giant red flag for me.

Simply put, the zoo is NOT a place for those who are disabled or have difficulty walking or other mobile issues and this would include the elderly.

Even one of the neighbors came back through and immediately complained about the place, especially for people like me and older people. The thing about her is that she is a REAL LIFE nun!! So people actually pay attention to her.

She was given someone’s card with information on it. And given an apology and the lack-luster excuse that they do not have the money to construct an accessible zoo.

I want to get my hands on that business card!!!!

And then it struck me. This zoo is not just your normal big city zoo. This is an animal sanctuary for rescued animals. Every last animal and species in this zoo has been rescued at one point or another. This is NOT just a zoo.

So I will not be returning again. And for several factors that would include the long distances.

I had more fun at the Houston Zoo a couple of years ago and I STILL didn’t see everything there either.