November 2014: The Stuff Were Dreams Are Made

“You have to dream before your dreams can come true.”~ A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

The days ahead are beginning to look up for me in the most thrilling of ways.

I know that they don’t mean a lot to you but they will be meaning so much to me as I look forward into the next month of November.

This day, the 30th of October, would pave the way to three more months until my next birthday. That significant birthday in which doctors said that I would not live to see.

But before reaching that ultimate goal, in November there are some events happening that I am anxiously awaiting to happen.

The other day I woke up from a nap. I found a message waiting for me from the model known as Red Vamp.

She mentioned that she was going to be in town on the 15th. She actually said “We will be there.” so I am assuming she meant her and her husband.

I had so much trouble containing my excitement over the matter.

To think that the one person that I would believe was the most beautiful redhead on the planet was going to be in my area and she was willing and wanting to meet in person.

The one and only female that I adulated and adored so much, and yet avoided all the typical talk about how hot she is and all of that and just simply TALKED to her as if she was a next door neighbor or a friend across the street or something. It opened up the doors to the friendship that we have now.

I know that my regular readers are probably getting sick and tired of hearing about Red Vamp, but after so many years of worshiping and adoring her, I’m about to have an opportunity to be in a tangible place at the same time as her as well be in the same space.

I honestly shake with pride and excitement when I think about it. 

The following weekend will be the return of NANCY SILVA PROJECT.

NANCY SILVA PROJECT has a show at the Gypsy Lounge on the 22nd, just one week later after I get to meet Red Vamp in person.

If you’ve been around for about a year, you know that I went to the Gypsy Lounge last year in September to see POC NATION play live, and know about the misery and obstacles that I had to face at that venue. But knowing that back then it was the first time being there, so I am hopeful and faithful that the second time at the Gypsy Lounge won’t be as challenging or taxing as the first time.

So all in all, my excitement level is about to reach brand new heights in the coming weeks.

It is almost the beginning of November already, and soon those first few weeks will burn on by and I’ll be back on this blog, writing about what it was like to be hanging out with Red Vamp and then my FOURTH time watching NANCY SILVA PROJECT play live in under one year, and then later on being able to connect with Nancy Silva on a personal level.

I personally cannot wait!!! I don’t want to wait any more!! COME ON NOVEMBER!! DO YOUR MAGIC AND ARRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But yes, I’m am pumped and excited. This dream is partially coming true. And I am humbled by the mere thought.

13 September 2014: Infamy Remembered By OED With Nancy Silva Project

“Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live.”~ Charles Bukowski

Let me just start off with a couple of things.

#1- The idea of giving myself a break before posting this blog post was probably not a good idea as I am beginning to forget a number of things that happened during the event and I don’t want to feel bad or let others down. So I am going to do the best that I can with what I can remember as I compose. And if that means I have to come back and edit even days later, then so be it.

#2- With scattered memories come scattered story telling so I am going to break up the evening’s activities in parts and pieces so this will take up a small number of posts. Stay tuned and keep reading!

After a week of drama of breaking my eye glasses and having to pay so much for it, and then saving my sister’s posterior and having given her money, I was on the edge because I knew that I had a choice for the evening. I could either LEAVE the venue after watching NANCY SILVA PROJECT perform and miss out on my first experience at a One-Eyed Doll show. And if I left, just how late would I stay because I would want to be able to spend time talking with Nancy Silva and hang out a bit.

The other option was to stay and watch One-Eyed Doll and then take a taxi home which would take $20 that I was not sure that I would have.

On the 12th, I was able to accomplish two things: Get a haircut and buy roses for Nancy Silva. A tradition that seems to have been lost along the years but long lost traditions will be a post for another time, if the readers want it.  I wasn’t quite sure if I should buy roses for Kimberly Freeman of One-Eyed Doll since I did not know her and she did not know me. I didn’t want to send the wrong message.

Nonetheless, I would pull an audible and buy roses for Kimberly Freeman as well… keeping in mind the old time traditions of presenting performers with flowers after their show.

Then as I returned home, I had a personal message waiting for me from Nancy Silva herself. She wanted to know if it was okay if her group would come to my home to get ready for the show and relax and hang out.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????????????????????????

I do not usually say this but OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!

The one brilliant, musically talented, and beautiful woman that I adore coming from San Antonio to do a show. Someone I have not seen face to face in six months plus one day was asking me if she could come to my home.

I thought to myself, “Dear Lord, these are the things that only dreams are made of. And its slowly showing signs of becoming true!”

After a few hours of bantering back and forth I agreed to the arrangement. And as I was doing so… I was scrambling to get everything in my home straightened up and clean and everything at least in the condition to be acceptable for having company over.

My apartment manager defines a clean apartment (for me at least) as “If you would be embarrassed to bring a girl back to your home… then you need to clean it.” And at this point, there was this great possibility of a girl coming over. So I made sure that the apartment was up to those standards. Then I sat back and waited. Noticing that the request to obtain my address had not been given. The longer it went on, the more I thought that this would not happen or that something was going to defeat me.

So on the 13th the day of the show as I was watching my favorite college football team beat the crap out of their opponent, I received word that it was not going to happen. And this was the official decision. It had been raining too and that was  getting annoying. Would I be going out in the rain again?

As deflated as I became I knew that in a few hours I would be there at the Dirty Dog Bar and that I would see NANCY SILVA PROJECT play.

There was just a few details that life hadn’t given to me in the memo.

Doors were supposed to open at 7:00 PM. They were not.
There was a LINE to get indoors. What the hell is up with that?
Staff who normally are warm and friendly were nothing but hulking statues of not giving a rat’s ass.

Everyone in line ahead of me and everyone in line behind me had some kind of memorabilia for One-Eyed Doll. I was the only person there with a NANCY SILVA PROJECT. Damnit, I am gonna wave this flag!!!

And some how when I got inside, there was already so many people inside. Why are THEY inside and I am not? I figured it was a lost cause and dropped it.

One-Eyed Doll Nation was everywhere. This place was totally packed and there were scores of people already lined up along the edges of the stage from the front and wrapped around to the one side.

But I would find Rai de la Cruz, the guitarist for NANCY SILVA PROJECT. I had never in my life conversed with him before and now it was like we had been friends forever and had connected again.

His continuous plaguing me of John Malkovich stood throughout the entire night. But I never fought it and that probably threw him off.

He’s now threatening to make an unannounced visit to my home… now that the band has my address. And again, I responded with “BRING IT ON.” If it was a fear tactic to pick on me, it wasn’t working. I would LOVE to have NANCY SILVA PROJECT in my home. Of course I’d have to take a photograph or two to have proof of it actually happened. But I got along with Rai pretty well. And Raj Arenas, the drummer. These two guys clearly remember me from SXSW Festival six months prior.

And then at long last, I saw Nancy Silva but she moved into the restroom and I lost her there.

And as I was digging out the roses to give to her she sprung out of the restroom and spotted me there. She hugged me, I gave her a kiss on the cheek and then gave her the roses.

There was this really bizarre color on one of the bouquets of roses that I couldn’t pass up, so I gave Nancy Silva BOTH.

Then a well known local photographer took our photograph together. Then I let her go, knowing that she was busy with preparations of her set on stage coming soon. Six months plus one day I had waited and the patience was paying off in spades.

So then I learned something about these events:

Rule #1 & 2 in attending a One-Eyed Doll show: If you are there for them or even some other band that is playing the same venue, get there early and grab your spot and DO NOT MOVE THE REST OF THE NIGHT.

Geez. I had to fight to get a place near the stage where I would be able to see. And still to that point I had not made up my mind as to how long I was staying.

Some gentleman saw me and then sacrificed his standing position that was right up against the edge of the stage and said that even if I was in front of him, that he could still see because I was so low.

I had thanked him and found myself next to a cute redhead who was even shorter than I was sitting down in a wheelchair with X’s on her hands.  Wow. Just when you think that they cannot make women any smaller you get proven wrong.

But I sat there and waited for NANCY SILVA PROJECT to set up.

I saw someone who I had just made friends with that was there who also is in a wheelchair. He and I together were calling ourselves “ROLLING THUNDER.”

So this conversation happened in the crowd between my newest colleague, the guy who gave me his spot, and myself about whether or not I was going to the VIP after show party.

Umm no. I could not afford that.

Then the guy who sacrificed his spot became my personal hero for the day. He had bought two and he just gave me the other one and didn’t ask me for anything for it. I couldn’t believe it.

Then my newest colleague promised to give me a ride to the party and then drop me off at home.

Honestly, could this have become any better???

Nancy Silva Project- Photo by Maurice Eagle

The VIP passes were $100 a piece. $150 for two. Before I could turn into a thankful blubbering mess the set started and NANCY SILVA PROJECT was rocking it from right out of the gate!!

The One-Eyed Doll crowd was blown away.

I started keeping track of the set by writing down the song titles on my hand with a permanent marker, knowing that this blog post was going to happen but because I waited, its nothing but a blurry mess that looks like a tattoo on my hand from far away.

They had nine songs on the set list but had to cut it short. Two songs were clipped. And when I heard the sound guy say “one more” I began to panic because my favorite NANCY SILVA PROJECT had not been performed.

What if they didn’t perform it? Would I feel cheated? Would I be angry? What the hell?

But all of that would not be necessary as they finished their set with “Lift Me Up” … my favorite song that has taken me through quite the huge emotional roller coaster ride over the past half year from tears to goosebumps to feelings of love and pride to support. And everything in between. No other musical performer has been able to do that to me or has had that much or that kind of impact on me. And so I love Nancy Silva and NANCY SILVA PROJECT so much because of it.

And then I made the costliest mistake of the night. When NSP was off of the stage, I moved away from my spot by the stage. It was time for me to hang out. Although it didn’t really work out as well as I had wanted.

There was two bands in between NSP and One-Eyed Doll and honestly, I could have cared less. I mean, the opening band “Force Of Rage” sounded okay but of course in my singleness my mind was focused more on the two female led bands ahead. I cannot even tell you the two names of the bands without looking it up.

Those wrist bands that bars give up, I finally found a way to not hate and loathe them as much any more. I presented Nancy Silva with a number of odd items and handed her my permanent marker, asking for her to sign it.

First was my bus pass. And since I had a return ride home, and I was not going anywhere the following day, it was useless for travel. So I had her sign it as a piece of memorabilia to remember that I had to take the bus and ride it for nearly an hour before I got to the venue.

Then I stuck my hand out wanting her to sign the wrist band. I turned my head and she started writing on my hand. I had to clear up the confusion. She signed the wrist band and then I told her that since she already started writing her name on my hand to finish it. Otherwise it would look odd with “NA” on my hand the rest of the night. Comical errors are very comical.

After a while, Nancy Silva discovered that the band’s equipment was going on unprotected. Nobody was around to kind of keep an eye on it and this look of frustration crawled across her face. I volunteered to watch it with no argument and then just kinda sat around near the stage area where bands stash their stuff. I wondered if that was a mistake because I felt tethered to it all. But in the end, it was fine.

I was so happy. The world could have blown up that night and I would have gone out happy and feeling like the king of kings.

I take Rai’s words seriously. I think that if he could get away with driving up from San Antonio to crash my place, that he would do it. Nancy Silva seems to be supportive of the idea. The band suffered 20/20 hindsight wishing that they all would have come by. And all I could do was shrug.

I told Rai that I did NOT want to wait six months to see them again. Six months from now will bring us back around to SXSW 2015. Rai claims that they will stop at my place for SXSW, and they’ll do it over and over and over again as long as they are in town and in the area.  BRING IT ON, RAI!!!! LET’S DO IT!!!!!!

Now I wait and pray to see them all sooner than six months.

The next blog post: One-Eyed Doll’s performance at the Dirty Dog Bar. And then the VIP party. 

If I Can

“Look at him. He gets out. He goes to shows. He does whatever the hell he wants to! He doesn’t sit around at home and shit. He isn’t sad about his condition. He doesn’t let it stop him either.” ~ Dr. Froth

This was the words of Dr. Froth not that many years ago about me at a time long before I had ever met him or SIX MINUTE CENTURY.  Someone who apparently had some kind of illness or medical condition was mentioning that he wanted to go to the next show of theirs, but could not do it because of the condition.

Dr. Froth turned around and didn’t believe it for a second that it should be a legit excuse. He had used my life as the example of his encouragement to this man in order to boost his spirits and get him to realize that he can do whatever he wanted.

Ironically, Dr. Froth didn’t know that much about me at that time. His idea of using my life as a positive example was actually correct. Lucky hunch? Not really. He just really took the example of my life as he had known it to that point in order to prove his point. Several months later, he would work with me on an itinerary to get me to my first show.

All evening long tonight, I have heard excuse after excuse after excuse from many people. And as I sat there in silence, I kept thinking about Dr. Froth’s words that were spoken so long ago.

Even though it is true that I will personally never be able to do the exact same things as other people around me doesn’t mean that I should just allow myself to be swallowed up by the dark cloud of depression and sit in the corner inside of my home… waiting for death.

But I can honestly say that in the past decade there are some wonderful examples of my life experiences where I had gone and made a decision to do something or go somewhere. And even though it might have been difficult, I did NOT give up. And I think back on those times and I can honestly say that the experiences were rewarding in various ways. All because I made the decision to do it.

And to add to it all, I have so much less opportunity than others do and I STILL DO IT!!! So then yes, if I CAN do it……… SO CAN YOU!!! And even though I can do far less than you, I am still successful. Just think of the rewards that YOU can achieve.

With this evening’s bombardment of people throwing excuses left and right just really made my stomach turn. There’s something inside of them that is allowing them to bow to defeat. Meanwhile, people with less fortunate lives are out there surpassing what you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t done yet because of the excuses you have been making which has stopped you.

I personally don’t believe the excuses that I’ve heard tonight. I believe that these downtrodden people have come up with their own excuse that they think is legit and its their way of saying to themselves that they’ve quit and its okay.

Bullshit.

And yes, I do understand that there are things that we would love to do that we probably never will be able to if we lived ten thousand lifetimes. Everyone still has their boundaries.

Ten years ago if you would have told me that I would be playing sports, particularly sledge hockey, I would have kicked you out of my home on the grounds of believing you were insane. But now I have been playing it for many years now. And I keep getting better at it. 

Make the decision to do the things that you’ve dreamed of. Start out slow and small and work your way to the top. Failure should never be an option in life. Neither should one be afraid of failure. That is why they call it dusting yourself off and getting back up and trying again.

How about this: You never know until you try.

Ever hear that one before? You probably have and you have just forgotten about it. Shame on you.. to be honest!!

I have done some pretty awesome things in the past decade. I have done a lot of traveling that took me places that I never thought I would be. I have met people that I would never thought that I would meet. And the greatest reward of all of that was that they are still a part of my life today.

I’ve done things that people are just simply amazed at when they hear about it. Why? Because I am not laying on my bed wishing for a miracle to be delivered to my front door. I get up out of bed just like the rest of the world and I have gone through that front door and entered into that world and made myself a force to be reckoned with.

And if that doesn’t do it for you, remember one thing.

While you are sitting there thinking of ways that you cannot do something that you want to do, I am finding ways to do the same exact thing and then I am doing it. Thus, I am BEATING YOU TO IT!

How foolish do you feel now?

 

Meet Kristen

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”~ Walt Disney

The closing ceremonies took place in London of the Paralympic Games.

This is Kristen.

She was born with Cerebral Palsy, although she is capable of walking independently.

I met her some years ago, via her website.

One afternoon, I was reading the newspaper and I spotted a large image of her in a racing chair. Over the weekend, she had participated in the Capitol 10 K race. And I was both intrigued and shocked.

Kristen is the person who has turned into my athletic idol. She was the one who through correspondence, introduced me to the sport of sledge hockey. And she was even willing enough to come pick me up from my home to take me to a practice one Sunday afternoon. That very day, I was strongly encouraged by her and her mother to try it. Once I got on the ice, I fell in love and the rest is obviously, history.

I would learn that Kristen has had a very interesting racing career. It was something she was very passionate about. Suddenly, I was completely captivated by what she had done and by what she was doing.

Soon enough, my own passion would come from that fateful afternoon when I was on the ice with her and the rest of the team. And eventually, I would have scored my first ever goal in an athletic competition in a round robin match on Mother’s Day of that year.

My time with Kristen was unfortunately short lived. I was binding myself to her and to her social contacts which were other people with disabilities. She now lives and trains in the northwestern United States.

When I was with her, she always talked about her dream of being at the Paralympic Games. She wanted to represent her country well.

SHE DID IT!! 

Kristen made it on the team and participated in two events of the Paralympic games. She raced in the 100 m and the 200 m races.

While in London, she didn’t make it to the medal stand. But she was able to fulfill the dream she had for such a long time. And she even claimed a World Record for one of her races in her class.

Such an accomplishment.

I am so very proud of her!

Without knowing Kristen, I probably would not know sledge hockey. And I would be stuck at home doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself.

My debt of gratitude to her is so great. And I wish her future success as she returns back home to the United States and continues on in her journey and career.

She is another prime example of someone who stuck with her dreams through hard work and extreme dedication to make sure that those dreams came true.