Posts Tagged ‘ex’

“The amateur porn business makes $11 billion a year. They don’t get bad reviews.”~ Joe Pantoliano
Last night I had one of the most wild surprises in my e-mail that I have ever received in the past 10 years.
All weekend long, I was receiving messages from a guy that I now regret ever giving my e-mail address to. He filled it everytime with some kind of URL that would link to some kind of pornographic website, all because he thought that I might find the female actress to be hot.
Suddenly, he wrote in the subject title “I FOUND YOUR BIRTHDAY PRESENT” in an e-mail. I guess I could have just deleted it, but I didn’t. What I would find is yet another URL to another pornographic website, but this time he had included his username and password. And instructions to one particular page.
I was to find a woman named “Lexy” and click on her page.
When I did, I saw the most horrifying, mysterious, and shocking thing that I never thought that I would see in my life.
“Lexxy” as it were, was a female porn actress and she had about 10 different videos on the page.
Very cautiously, I clicked on the shortest video there was. Knowing that I was not a fan of pornography. What I saw for the next 3 minutes and 42 seconds was rather intriguing as “Lexxy” was looking familiar for a strange reason that I could not wrap my mind around.
After that, I moved on. Clicked the second one beneath it. And then it all came to light. I realized why this “Lexxy” was so familiar.
“Lexxy” is an ex-girlfriend of mine. Not a cyber girlfriend, and not a long distance relationship girlfriend, an actual tangible relationship girlfriend.
Immediately I threw up. I didn’t even have time to think about moving towards the bathroom. It just came out, and came out strong and hard.  My head spun, I was feeling faint and extremely disgusted.
I turned it off in total disbelief. I began to doubt the validity that it was her. I did some searching and it didn’t take that long to realize that in fact, it was her. Her face was the same, her voice. The only thing that was different was her body type which had obviously been altered for the industry.
I sat there wondering why she would do this. But then again, it didn’t surprise me. Considering the fact that after we had broken up, she was said to have been working at a strip club. Something that I never got confirmation on, but then again I didn’t really care as it was over between her and I. The only thing I could think of is that she went from exotic dancing to amateur pornography at some point.
What was bothering me about it is that when we were dating, we found out that we had a mutual fascination for tigers. The hypothetical question came up: If you can own a pair of male and female tigers, what would you name them?.
For the female, I said “Lexy”.
I’m guessing she held on to that to this day as it is now her “stage name”.
It still made me so violently sick to my stomach. No matter what the opinion that I hold on her would be.
I personally do not get into pornography. And that is for many reasons. Other than it being a moral issue.
Computer viruses are on all pornographic videos on the Internet. It will damage your computer and ultimately destroy it. Trojans and other things that are in the videos will connect to your computer and kill it. You can have the biggest and baddest anti-virus program built, and it will still attach itself to your machine.
I recall reading an article about the strangest Hollywood career changes. There was an Italian porn actress from the 1980’s that had gone from the porn industry into the Italian government. It struck me as odd, so I researched it.
It took just one click of the wrong website and my computer was toast.
I am also not a voyeur. I do not receive a thrill over watching someone else have sex. I would prefer not to be a part of the audience. That just isn’t in me. 
Pornography is dangerous as it is. Many people get addicted to it. And then they think that it is okay to take their addiction into the real world and treat women just the same as they see it on their videos. They do not realize that pornography to a certain degree is fake. It still is just another form of entertainment. No matter what your view on it is.
But I sure did get one heck of a surprise to have seen her. Especially like that!!!! I’m not sure exactly what I am going to do. Other than try to clean out my computer’s history and cookies and other files that connect my computer to that particular website. I definitely trashed the e-mail that contained the website. And I wrote back that I didn’t want any more of this guy’s porn. If he continues to send more, then I am going to block him from my e-mail.
He said he had thought it was my ex. So he definitely was going to share it with me to see if he was right or not…. and of course, he was.
I think though that I could have lived the rest of my life without having to have seen that.


This post is kind of a last minute thought, but I think that I have some really good and valid points here.

I ran into one of my ex-girlfriends today. When I first saw her, I was not 100% sure of who she was. But she looked up and saw me and waved at me heavily. That was the dead giveaway.

I was not sure what I was going to do in that exact moment. I knew that if once there was any conversation and it started to drift towards the past, it was gonna get very ugly. I was not even sure if there was going to be any conversation at all. So, I faked like I did not know who she truly was, but I guess my poker face needs work.

Luckily for me, there was only bit a brief conversation. No talk about the past, no talk about “What are you up to now?”, nothing like that. Instead, I got “Hey! Good to see you. Glad to see you’re doing well. Here’s my card. Call me, we’ll catch up!”.

Umm, are you NUTS!?!?

Never in my life I thought I would be having that kind of an experience with an ex. They always show that kind of rubbish on television and in movies. Yet they also show that once the former lovers re-connect, something always sparks the flames again, and then they live happily ever after, THE END, roll the credits!

It is my belief that it just doesn’t happen like that in real life. There were specific reasons why the particular relationship ended between her & I, and reasons why I chose to end it. One of those reasons was not to bump into her years down the road in the future to get back with her.

There are hard lessons to be learned when ending a relationship. Whether you dump someone, or they dump you. What I am trying to say is that there are reasons why it ended when it did. And my own personal opinion is to dust yourself off, learn those lessons and move on. So it doesn’t make sense to me when couples break up and then later get back together again.

Comedian Larry Miller did a stand-up comedy routine about relationships and for couples who break up and then get back together. He says, “Getting back together with your ex is like wanting a bowl of cereal in the morning. You go to get some milk and then realize that it has passed the expiration date and you say to yourself, ‘This milk is sour! Well, maybe tomorrow it will be fresh!’.”

I couldn’t agree with him more.

Now I don’t know what my ex truly is seeking. All I know is that whatever business or personal card she gave me, was non-chalantly dropped into the street when her back was turned.

But the fun drama doesn’t stop there. NO sir!! After returning home and getting ready begin another day of working on some projects that I have lined up, I checked my e-mail. I had a message from my last ex-girlfriend who was asking specific questions:

How is life treating you? Where are you at now? Are you married?… and so forth. As many times as I have simply hit “BLOCK” on her e-mails, she’s always finding the time to create new free e-mail accounts in order to try and reach out.

I started to wonder what was in the air that was making these women do these stupid and annoying things. Neither one of them are ever going to hear from me. I thought that was clear that I’ve not said a single word to them once the relationship was terminated. So instead of bogging my mind with questions that I probably will never get the answers to, I decided to make supper and watch the Stanley Cup playoffs.

But still though, there are those people who dare to try a second go at it for whatever reason. To be fair, I will say that sometimes it does pan out and it does work. But most of the time? Not so much.

And then there are those who go in and out of relationships like a broken record. You KNOW what to expect of them because most likely they haven’t changed, and neither have you. But you try anyways and fail, over and over and over and over again.

Its like sticking your hand in the fire. How many times are you going to do that until you finally realize that “Ouch, that hurts!”??

But in all honesty, its not just about relationships that we do these sorts of things. A lot of times we do whatever it is that is bad for us, and we get burned the first time. But then we go back to doing it again and again. And we never seem to learn from our mistakes.

I think that it comes down to two kinds of people. Those who learn, and those who will never learn. And I do feel sorry for the latter, but I don’t feel sorry half the time when they are repeatedly doing the same crap that causes them pain in the first place, even IF they say, “Yeah, I know! That was stupid of me.”, and there they go the next day doing it again.

I don’t know. I guess it just doesn’t make sense to me. And as far as my relationship past? Well, that’s where they are going to stay. I am so lucky I am that strong as to not go falling into those kinds of pitfalls. Not saying that I don’t have my own, but at least its not those past relationships where I am looking for fresher milk because I KNOW what is there, and I KNOW what to expect. And since I do not care for that, I will not entertain the thought.

When will you learn?