Passing The Buck On Superstitions

“Don’t blame the marketing department. The buck stops with the chief executive.”~ John D. Rockefeller

So hockey wasn’t as great and wonderful as it has been in times past. Which excuse would you love to hear?

The fact that I went out to eat for lunch on the other side of town when I knew that once I got home I would have to hurry to get ready and therefore didn’t have time to go through my usual music rituals to get mentally prepared and fired up?

Or the fact that I actually put my bandana in the laundry earlier in the week and washed it instead of keeping it unwashed throughout the season?

Perhaps the fact that I was rushed and didn’t get much time to warm up before getting to work and being the last person on the ice when I have been one of the leaders of getting on the ice first and encouraging others to be ready and prepared once ice is clear of the Zamboni?

Or the fact that a few shots that I made were not called as “goals” when they should have been?

All of which with the exception of the last one, would be a part of rituals of hockey superstitions. If you’ve seen the advertisements on television of different sports superstitions, you know that one says that its not considered a “superstition” until the moment that it doesn’t work.

Sure, excuse after excuse after excuse I could make. But that is only passing the buck and I am not taking much responsibility for my own actions. And that is the true factor of the poorer performance this evening. And for the last one, I cannot control those in charge.

I didn’t play up to my own expectations or abilities and that’s where it went downhill. Nothing else!!

As a team leader, I do have my responsibilities. And my performance factor is actually expected to be at a certain level. The truth of the matter is that I did not play up to that level at all. And thus, it was a bad performance.

But its not the end of the world.

I think that all of us have something that we do or say that could be considered superstition… at least by definition. We can mask it and call it a ritual or habit or whatever we want. But I think that for those outside of our personal boxes would be able to see the forest through the trees and understand that what we do or say in this situations, are our own personal superstitions. And we believe that it works for us. So then what happens? Rinse and repeat– as much as possible.

But when we fail to take responsibility for our words and actions, we commonly find an excuse to blame. I mean after all, it wasn’t OUR fault… right??

WRONG! It was a fault because we did not meet up to our abilities and therefore we put another notch in the proverbial belt of FAIL.

I think that a lot of people would agree with me that our own performances in life would get better if we just own up to our mistakes and not worry about the blame of others. I think it causes personal growth and we are able to learn our lessons of what NOT to do again in the future to the best of our own personal abilities and control. Then we wouldn’t HAVE to pass the buck.

In a not-so-perfect world where all you see is the blame being placed on others, its difficult to just take up our own problems and mistakes and say that it was our fault. But I also am a firm believer that with a lot of practice with it, we can drop the idea of passing the buck and grow in our lives if only we take up responsibility.

After all, everyone of us will have to live with the aftermath of our decisions and choices.

Keep Your Asterisk Out Of My Conversation

“Have you ever heard the expression: Walk a mile in my shoes, and then judge me? And write your own books.”~ Ann Rule

How times change so quickly. One can tell by the way language changes in each society and culture.

I know I’ve spoken about the deadly conjunction in almost every sentence which that simple conjunction just unravels what has been previously said.

There’s something that I am finding far worse than the overuse of the conjunctive word.

It is that secretive asterisk that we place in our every day speech. For those who do not know what I am talking about, its those key words and phrases that we add into our conversations that has no true purpose or meaning to be spoken, other than to cover our own butts.

One that I have received all of my life, and that is probably because of pure and innocent curiosity is the the prefacing of the question of “I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you in a wheelchair?” and other similar questions.

It really could be an innocent inquiry. It still does get to me once in a while.

One that I have always received ever since I can remember is the prefaced question of “Can I ask you a question?”… how this has become so silly to me anymore.

I don’t know– can you? Are you able to use your voice??

Its frustrating sometimes.

Now there’s these other phrases coming around a lot recently and its even more of an acceleration to getting a headache than ever before.

The asterisk phrase. 

Phrases like “I’m just saying” are in my opinion just redundant. Depending on how it is being used, its quite similar to the other phrases that are either prefaced to statements or questions or placed at the end as an immediate dismissal of responsibility.

DON’T JUDGE ME.

Ohhh geez… I think I am going to be sick!!

As soon as you say something like that, you are immediately asking for what you just requested others NOT to do. How can people not see that?  

Sometimes it is used in such ways that the person who just said it has actually cast their OWN judgement on the situation that is relative to the conversation. And that’s supposed to keep them free of responsibility from their judgement. It is exactly to say that its okay for YOU to judge me, but it is not okay for ME to judge you!!

Opinions are free. Yet they still have consequences and responsibility if they are openly expressed. Not everyone in the world is going to agree with you. You can believe or think what you want. There’s nothing against the law that says that you cannot.

The moment though that you express it, you will be running the risk of having to deal with someone who disagrees with you. And then depending on how you handle disagreements with others will take a key role on how the remainder of the conversation will continue and how it will ultimately end.

You still are responsible for your words and actions. Saying “DON’T JUDGE ME” is NOT a free pass to have diarrhea of the throat with a mouthful of opinions.

Gain the fortitude to be a mature and responsible adult. Understand that there will come the time where you might say something that others will disagree with. Prefacing your statements and comments with the asterisk phrases don’t actually work! The faster you learn that, the better off you will be.

 

If I Can

“Look at him. He gets out. He goes to shows. He does whatever the hell he wants to! He doesn’t sit around at home and shit. He isn’t sad about his condition. He doesn’t let it stop him either.” ~ Dr. Froth

This was the words of Dr. Froth not that many years ago about me at a time long before I had ever met him or SIX MINUTE CENTURY.  Someone who apparently had some kind of illness or medical condition was mentioning that he wanted to go to the next show of theirs, but could not do it because of the condition.

Dr. Froth turned around and didn’t believe it for a second that it should be a legit excuse. He had used my life as the example of his encouragement to this man in order to boost his spirits and get him to realize that he can do whatever he wanted.

Ironically, Dr. Froth didn’t know that much about me at that time. His idea of using my life as a positive example was actually correct. Lucky hunch? Not really. He just really took the example of my life as he had known it to that point in order to prove his point. Several months later, he would work with me on an itinerary to get me to my first show.

All evening long tonight, I have heard excuse after excuse after excuse from many people. And as I sat there in silence, I kept thinking about Dr. Froth’s words that were spoken so long ago.

Even though it is true that I will personally never be able to do the exact same things as other people around me doesn’t mean that I should just allow myself to be swallowed up by the dark cloud of depression and sit in the corner inside of my home… waiting for death.

But I can honestly say that in the past decade there are some wonderful examples of my life experiences where I had gone and made a decision to do something or go somewhere. And even though it might have been difficult, I did NOT give up. And I think back on those times and I can honestly say that the experiences were rewarding in various ways. All because I made the decision to do it.

And to add to it all, I have so much less opportunity than others do and I STILL DO IT!!! So then yes, if I CAN do it……… SO CAN YOU!!! And even though I can do far less than you, I am still successful. Just think of the rewards that YOU can achieve.

With this evening’s bombardment of people throwing excuses left and right just really made my stomach turn. There’s something inside of them that is allowing them to bow to defeat. Meanwhile, people with less fortunate lives are out there surpassing what you’ve been wanting to do but haven’t done yet because of the excuses you have been making which has stopped you.

I personally don’t believe the excuses that I’ve heard tonight. I believe that these downtrodden people have come up with their own excuse that they think is legit and its their way of saying to themselves that they’ve quit and its okay.

Bullshit.

And yes, I do understand that there are things that we would love to do that we probably never will be able to if we lived ten thousand lifetimes. Everyone still has their boundaries.

Ten years ago if you would have told me that I would be playing sports, particularly sledge hockey, I would have kicked you out of my home on the grounds of believing you were insane. But now I have been playing it for many years now. And I keep getting better at it. 

Make the decision to do the things that you’ve dreamed of. Start out slow and small and work your way to the top. Failure should never be an option in life. Neither should one be afraid of failure. That is why they call it dusting yourself off and getting back up and trying again.

How about this: You never know until you try.

Ever hear that one before? You probably have and you have just forgotten about it. Shame on you.. to be honest!!

I have done some pretty awesome things in the past decade. I have done a lot of traveling that took me places that I never thought I would be. I have met people that I would never thought that I would meet. And the greatest reward of all of that was that they are still a part of my life today.

I’ve done things that people are just simply amazed at when they hear about it. Why? Because I am not laying on my bed wishing for a miracle to be delivered to my front door. I get up out of bed just like the rest of the world and I have gone through that front door and entered into that world and made myself a force to be reckoned with.

And if that doesn’t do it for you, remember one thing.

While you are sitting there thinking of ways that you cannot do something that you want to do, I am finding ways to do the same exact thing and then I am doing it. Thus, I am BEATING YOU TO IT!

How foolish do you feel now?

 

Donuts Are Dead To Me

“I realize you can’t please everyone.”~Gemma Ward 

I think I’m seriously done with the whole Friday morning “Coffee & Donuts” drama.

I’ve run out of energy to deal with this shit, and I’m beginning to fail to see the rewards in getting up every Friday morning, only to witness the total and complete avarice of people.

This situation is always going to piss off someone. And usually that “someone” is a person or people who got left out for that week’s donuts. Mainly because they didn’t receive any.

The whole idea of having coffee and donuts came from a previous apartment manager who decided to give a reward (and a little incentive) to those residents who would sign up and go walking at the local mall in the morning. We still have the activity of mall walking every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. But the previous person in charge gave as a reward to those who stuck with it.

But then the coffee and donuts would spread to the rest of residents of the apartment complex. This being the incentive of getting the residents out of their homes and actually participate in some fellowship.

Ever since I have been here, it has always turned into a major FUBAR Fest, and it comes from people who just cannot control themselves.

The biggest issue that we’ve had is the fact that we have some residents who have been taking so much more of their fair share. And these people happen to be bilingual, and they speak English as a second language. They have been most capable of using the excuse that they don’t understand English when they are getting screamed at by others who are behind them in line when suddenly 4 donuts and 10 pieces of fruit are taken by them. Fruit is also presented along with the donuts. Apples, bananas, etc., and this is for those who cannot eat sugar or are diabetic.

One Korean neighbor has been allowed to take more than her share because she has a husband at home. The assumption was that she was going to take a donut to her husband as well. But this destroys the whole idea of having residents come out of their homes to enjoy. At some point, it had been allowed for a husband/wife to take an additional food item for their spouse. This suddenly became the excuse for those taking so much, because their “spouse” was still at home. And it went even further to claim that their spouse “couldn’t make it out” for whatever reason.

This same neighbor always uses the excuse that they do not understand English. Whether or not they do, isn’t the point any more. Their families have been contacted to have it explained to them in their native language that there are rules and that they are breaking them!

So when the other residents see this atrocity continuing to happen, they want vigilante justice done and served. They feel as if staff has abandoned them because they’ve complained so much about their actions to staff. And to be honest, for a while it had calmed down with the Koreans. But then the others who are bilingual took on the same act. And then others who speaks English followed as well. People taking so many donuts and pieces of fruit that they don’t leave shit for anyone else to enjoy.

Some tried doing this on purpose in an effort to be noticed and hoping that others would notice their mistakes and that they would stop doing what they were doing. But it only got others to join the ranks of the eternally and perpetually pissed off.

What does that do? That brings a whole new group of people running to the management office to bitch and complain. And the cycle repeats. But with a new set of people.

Here is the thing that I have witnessed: The groups of people that bitch and complain so much about how others are taking too many, are the same ones who are guilty! And others who bitch and complain about it in general, are the ones that don’t come out of their homes and join the rest of the people. And so I find it totally ridiculous that they are saying anything at all.

I take TWO donuts and I leave it alone. Now I’m being told that I should only take ONE donut (or fruit) and if everyone else who is there has gone through, I can go back again and take ONE MORE. Still, that equals two. I have recently taken TWO and gone back for no more.

I’m sick and tired of this!!!!!!

So now today, I’m told that it is wrong to take two at one time. Even if I do not go back. It was also said that a note would be distributed to all of the residents, reminding them of the “rules” of participating in having coffee & donuts every Friday morning.

I do not know how well that will go over. I DO know that by the judge of characters that live here, it will be something that they will groan about for a long time. Until the next useless thing to bitch about comes along.

But I was told that I was wrong.

Okay… fine. Something I can correct in the future.

For months and years now,  I have seen so much bullshit coming from this activity of having coffee & donuts every Friday morning, only to have it piss off someone because they do not like what others are doing and they can’t keep their mouths shut about it. Or act like an adult.

Someone is ALWAYS taking more than they should when they first go through the line. And even some others will go back the second time through once the first round is over, and do it again!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over???

Management has time and time again stated that the Friday morning activity is NOT mandatory! It is something that was a special treat for people. And it still doesn’t sink in with these people. Either they just don’t give a flying fuck or they hide behind the fact that they “don’t speak English”.

Those members of staff today were not the ones who were working when this got started. They all understand that this is not something that is mandatory to happen every week. And in fact, I have personally gone to members of staff and begged them to stop having coffee and donuts altogether.

Management no longer likes to get involved with it in the first place. I can see that management doesn’t even want to bother with it anymore because it is not staff’s job to babysit the residents and making sure that they behave. I see their point. I agree with them. And so I have been so encouraging to them to have them get rid of it all.

Staff has not done so yet. Today’s events however was an announcement that residents were to take either ONE donut or ONE piece of fruit and then sit down. Once the crowd had gone through, they can get up and get ONE more donut or ONE more piece of fruit.

But I hadn’t gone through yet. And I shouted out that I still hadn’t gone for the first time, and I could feel the daggers coming in through people’s eyes.

I was busy. So what?!? Now I am going to get a donut. Bite me!!

When I got there, there was plenty left over. Especially the chocolate covered donuts. I took a glazed donut. I always do. That is my preference. By that time, I’ve already had insane amounts of coffee that I don’t need chocolate or decorated pure sugar to help.

There’s been some gossip earlier this week about how there’s going to be a a group of people who will volunteer to distribute the food items to the rest of the people every Friday morning. I see all kinds of wrong in that. There may be someone who can be fair and just in the distribution. But eventually, they are going to feel “entitled” and have a false sense of power and authority.

I COULD abuse that sense of entitlement when I distribute food for Food Pantry Day. And even if it has been allowed by members of staff as a way of saying “thank you for all of your help”, I don’t always take up the offer. I probably haven’t done that in over six months. But this is NOT food pantry… this is coffee and donuts.

I can see how this idea of having a few select people could turn up bad because they just might secretly slip their closest friends and neighbors an extra piece. And they could also argue the fact that they are entitled to another piece of food because they are the ones that have been placed in charged.

Those of whom I know who want to volunteer for this weekly duty… are the guilty ones who bitch and moan and have in the past, taken more than their fair share.

I’ve been caught up in this nonsense for a long time. And I really need to let it go. I think from now on I am simply NOT going to partake in any donuts. Sure, I’ll have coffee like I do every morning it seems. But no more of this donut drama for me! I don’t care if the others kill themselves over this because it is stupid.

I’m done with it all.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!