Posts Tagged ‘family’


Back to the Dirty Dog, we go people!!

Hard to believe that it had been one exact month since I went there to see CASKET OF CASSANDRA. But it honestly is.

And within another week, SXSW Festival will begin their live music portion and I’ll be back for that one too.

But for the 3rd of March was to see BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE.

I’ve lost count how many times I’ve seen them play live. All I know is that I love it and I keep going back for more. Whether its locally or out of town (when applicable.) It is what I dream about and what I live for. Almost like a religion.

But before people start twisting their panties in a bunch, I will move on with the rest of the night and provide as best I can a look inside of what it was like to get to the Dirty Dog and sum up what its like to see BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE live.

I must first mention the fact that there are music fans and there are die hard people who will go through anything to be able to hear the kind of music that they wanna hear.

Last night’s weather was deplorable with the threat of freezing weather which has caused the shut down of … everything in town this morning. A lot of people thought I was insane for wanting to go out into the elements when it was 38°F/3°C and the sun going down, which would drop it to 34°F/1°C by the time I left to return home. The difference was that there was a thunderstorm going on, complete with lightning and due to the cold air … it was rain but more so sleet.

And yes, I went out in it. A neighbor asked me why I was planning on doing it. I told them “I love my family.”

BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE refers to their fans and people who enjoy and support their music as their FAMILY. And I feel like now I am apart of that.

But what was even better last night was that when I saw the band setting up and what not, they actually for the first time (in my face) referred to me as “friend” rather than “fan.”

I remember this happening before in Houston by other bands. Its always a proud moment for me.

BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE mentioned that they had a whole new set list to try out. And it was going to include my favorite song, “Nearly Forgotten” which thrilled me to the bone. They started the night out and I did what I had to do in order to enjoy myself, not caring what the scores of people behind me were thinking.

This is rock and roll, and yes I like it. Anyone who don’t understand can leave the room. beautifuldisturbance24

Belle, their bass player, continues to hold up to her reputation as being one of the top bass players in the country. This comment and opinion coming by OTHER bass players.  And Auggie Del Ray’s passion is always seen whenever he steps foot on stage. Its like a switch gets turned on inside of his head and he turns into a rock and roll giant beast. Completely unstoppable.

The first song that they played was a new tune called “Runaway.” I thought that my face was going to melt off of my skull and my skin just break up into pieces. Where did this come from???

And their last song “My Heroine” really dug down deep to where I wanna hear it again and again.



I couldn’t help but get goosebumps throughout the entire song!!!I would later find out that the song was written only one week ago. And that just blew my mind! These people are musical entities with a passion never before known and in my opinion, nobody can hold a flame to. I figured if I loved the first song so much that I was really in for a high voltage, pure octane show.

I was right. I just didn’t realize how much.

Just when a person thinks that there are no more surprises left to be had… a whole new level of “WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!?!?!?” comes up.


I am probably going to die a painful death for this one, but ….

When they got to my favorite song, lead singer Brenda Flores knew exactly where I was and from the stage landed me a high five. She also gave me a high five as they walked from the front of the venue to get on stage. So, high ten??

I always figured Brenda as a high-five-turned-into-a-fist-embrace kind of woman. But I guess I was wrong.

The one thing that I truly enjoy about their music is I am not afraid of jumping in front of the crowds and getting as close to the stage as possible. This allows me to hear Brenda’s voice both through the microphone and at the same time as it comes from her mouth.

It is one of those things you just have to experience. But I have always loved Brenda’s voice. I’m crazy over Auggie Del Ray’s stage performances. And Belle… what is not to love about her?

I’ll probably get into trouble for saying this but these two women I adore greatly without end. Both as professional musicians and as people. I’m so grateful to have them in my life and so grateful that I can use the term “amiga” to describe them.

BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE has a new drummer. I was glad to see that he came to me and talked and socialized with me with a genuine interest. It wasn’t that stereotypical musician comes to you, says hello, talks about the weather and your health, gives you a handshake, and then leaves. Nope. This guy is cool. I gotta learn what his name is soon.

The thing that I just get annoyed about is that both times I’ve visited the Dirty Dog, bands are only given about 30 minutes for their time on stage.

Maybe I am spoiled from other experiences in other places. But thirty minutes of BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE just is not going to be enough. Not for me at least.

But as good things come to an end always, there was more show to be had.

There was another band from Waco that came on next. And then I couldn’t hear very well at that point, but a lot of people thought that they heard that the third band said something about Israel? resistingvegas

And then the next band was called Resisting Vegas. I was on the other side of the venue hanging out when I heard more female vocals.

I HAD to go check it out. Because if I didn’t, then I wouldn’t be me.

I love the fact that the lead singer engaged with eye contact during their set. I’ve always found it pleasing if the lead singer looked at me.

With the exception of my first ever show in Houston where the lead singer of DECIMATION THEORY gazed at me and pierced into my soul with his screaming vocals that terrified me so much I crapped in my pants.

But Resisting Vegas, there was no threat of soul consumption. Maybe a little fluttering but no consumption. I’m a new fan of theirs.

Is anyone else starting to see a pattern here???

So as the night continued to creep upon us, so did the inclement weather and BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE was going to have to drive back home to Waco in this nasty weather. By then it had dropped to just above freezing at 34°F and the awe and wonder of lightning and thunder filled the nighttime sky.

I got my hugs from the band, took a photograph with the entire band… of which my camera just refuses to work when I want it to. Its humiliating. And apparently it loves being dropped on the cement floor of the Dirty Dog as it has happened twice now in both visits. Stinking technology.

After all of that, I took off for home in a taxi. I fell down because I was expected to freaking walk to the cab because the driver parked too far away from the curb. I was expected to rise out of my wheelchair and walk inside of the cab.

Umm really?? Idiots….. OF COURSE I AM GOING TO FALL DOWN!!


Brenda Flores and Auggie Del Ray of BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE

I’m hurting. But I’m going to live. Lucky for them.

Back safe and home before 11 PM was a good thing though. Now we’re gonna to find out how stupid the city has become because of all of the ice. I can just see it now. All of the accidents on the roads and highways.

But I am most thankful for BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE and their continuing mission for excellence in music and giving it all that they have with each live performance. I love that about them.

It was like a warm up to the SXSW Festival which is less than two weeks away. More so like a week and a half.

And BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE is guaranteed to be there.

As long as I can handle the point A to B, I shall be too.

And I encourage everyone to listen to their music and give them a shot.

BEAUTIFUL DISTURBANCE both on stage and off is nothing like you’ve ever known before.




“I just want to say, good night, sweet prince, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.”~ Harry Dean Stanton

I have not been asked to do this. I am not being forced to write about this either. I do this because I still have love in my heart.

But I wish to take this time to share with you something that was close enough to become personal.

For those of you who have been reading my blog for the last year or so will probably remember the blog post that I wrote when I had reunited with my beautiful friend that I had not seen since I was a child over breakfast.

She was the one that I called the Bear Queen. She still is, to me. I still respond to her with “yes your highness” and she could be rolling her eyes at me. But that’s who I am and that’s what it is.

She’s still around. I talk with her every once in a while…

For those of you who are unfamiliar, here’s that post:

This weekend will come again the annual breakfast but this time I will not be graced with wonderful presence of the Bear Queen. How her absence will be felt and missed.

But fate has other things in mind. Her best friend in the world just recently lost her 16 year old child. And so the Bear Queen has been that pillar of strength and love and compassion for her best friend.

The Bear Queen even has set up her best friend to give her a little help with everything that has been going on. A little help to relieve some of the burden put upon her by this tragic loss. I tend to agree whole-heartedly when I hear people say that parents should not have to bury their children.

And I wanted to share this opportunity to help her friend in her greatest time of need. She is so close to reaching the goal. I would love to see her get there and go beyond. So many people already have contributed their love but this truly is a project that I believe in because it IS so personal to me.

Take the time to look around. To read everything there is to know. And do what you feel is best.

So please consider. I’d much prefer someone helping in this time of need more than anything. Now would be that time, and this would be that way of helping.

And to those who do decide, Dambreaker PERSONALLY gives you thanks in advance.



“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”~ Nelson Mandela

Five years. Seems like a lifetime ago already. A moment marked in life that is significant to nobody else in the entire world, but me.

The 30th of September in the year 2008, was the long yet almost simple journey to my personal freedoms from a relationship with a woman whom I had no longer feelings for, and had also feared for my own life. And with good reason.

After surviving in a place with no outlet, no freedoms of my own, no voice, no opinion, and existing as nothing but someone on the arm of a woman who happened to be a few years older than I, eight months of that mental prison and it came down to this day where I left without saying a word, without giving any sort of clue that I was leaving, nothing.

I just up and left.

After being ignored to my feelings, thoughts, and wishes of what was to be “OUR HOME” between my last girlfriend and I, The relationship and all of its connecting parts had breathed its last breath. From that point on, I knew that there was nothing in the world that I could say or do within my own powers to make her change her mind or even consider changing her mind on how she lived her life and/or behaved.

Two separate ships sailing away from each other in the same ocean. One sinking, the other one sailing in circles.

I had proven to my family, myself, and to anyone else in the world that CHANGE is still possible. You just have to want it bad enough to do something about it. And then actually DO it in order to get it.

I had actually cried over the telephone when speaking with my elder brother and the sounds of my tears and frustration and sorrow really struck a nerve with him. Within one month, a plan had been put together by my family to help me escape my dark and lonely existence in a place where I was thousands of miles from anyone who honestly and truly cared about who I was and how I felt.

Even to the point after confessing my sadness to my family where my girlfriend would once come home from work after having a seriously bad day, not wanting to cook and wanting to go out to eat so that we were fed. When it was explained to her that there was no money to go out, she began to unravel from within. As she began cooking preparations with kitchen utensils that belonged to my departed mother, she came after me when I told her one last time that we were NOT going out to eat for that evening, and she had to cook if she wanted to eat. Deflating her efforts to plunge that kitchen knife into my chest cavity and ending up with her sobbing and shouting her words of hatred towards me.

One week before (on the 23rd) the plan was explained to me. And I had to be able to keep things quiet and not let anyone on to anything for seven full days.

My elder brother coming up from the south all the way up into Rhode Island to basically grab me and send me out of the trap of a household, all while the girlfriend had made her daily route to her job. I left in the early morning hours of that day, dropped the key in the mailbox, said farewell to the two cats that she owned and never looked back as my brother and I cruised down the Interstate which lead us to the airport in Providence, Rhode Island.

I had made the decision to return to Texas with the lessons learned in my brain. My sister picking me up at the Austin airport and I lived with her family for six months before I returned back to the same apartment that I had lived in before… to this day, is being said is still a miracle that I would return back to the same unit. But here I am.

Leaving the girlfriend in a confused state of mind, when she realized I had left with no real explanation left behind. Only that I was leaving and that I was finished with the relationship. The lengthy, four paged written “Dear John” letter that was scribbled on a legal pad would be mailed to her from a neutral location so she was unable to track my whereabouts.

All because she swung a knife. (And the confusing tale on my family’s behalf of whether or not her family still had ties to the New England mafia. In which they honestly did not. She just had a relative that was born by the seed of the head of the mafia many moons ago, a great aunt who had been dead for a few years by that point in time. My family still were confused though for whatever reason.)

Starting over with very little of my own possessions and only a few important documents and momentos, beginning at the ground level all over again.

Its been a hard road as I have not recovered in that aspect. But in these five years I have matured, I have learned, and I have gained MORE than what I had BEFORE I entered into that ill-fated relationship. And yet to this day I find life to be more satisfying without the things that I had, compared to having that knife actually plunged into my thorax.

Yes… there are a lot of times where I stop and think about where I may have placed something, wondering why I cannot find it. Only to finally remember that it was not brought with me in the Great Exodus. And I must somehow deal without. I think that for the most part, I honestly cannot complain about material things too much. For the other things that I have gained in my life in the past five years is, as the saying goes, more precious than silver or gold. setfree

Its not where I thought I would see myself in the year 2013, but it is far better than the ultimate and other option of being six feet under.

I now have friends that surround me with love and TRUE care when I visit Houston. And I also have those who will in silence, support me in whatever I do, which is a great span from California to Canada to Florida and New York and over across to France, Norway, Germany, New Zealand, and Russia. And the one thing that lights up my day about them all is that had I stayed with the girlfriend, these relationships would have never blossomed into anything at all if she was still around. I would not be friends with ANY of those of whom I speak of here. Because that’s the kind of person that she was. SHE had to be the one and only #1 person.

I have been without a romantic relationship since in my personal life. And some how, some way, I continue to breathe every day. I sleep at night and rise in the morning, and nothing becomes frozen over. And yes, it does get lonely and often times I wished I had someone to share my day and my night with. But if that is to happen for me in my life, then it will come at the proper time.

But until then, I can be eternally grateful that I have a family who was loving me enough through the stupid mistakes that I made during that relationship, so much that they still helped me when I called for help. I can be eternally grateful for those that are “new” in my life, and have been so positive and promising for me. And those are the people that will never stray from my life.

People come and people go, but they are the ones that remain. 525356_454686747955875_1230830816_n

So here I am in 2013, a few years older. A few more grey hairs. Lots of time to think. And lots of time to learn how to truly live.

For those of you who ARE in my life (and you know who you are) I LOVE YOU. And I always will.

Five years since I started this new journey, and we’ve still yet to come to the end of the road.







You have no idea.–abc-news-parenting.html

At the end, they laughed and thought it was hilarious.

I’m not sure that dropping your child on the beach as they land, is “funny” necessarily. But hey, whatever floats your boat. Here’s to hoping CPS doesn’t knock on your door any time soon.  I am not saying that what happened, happened on purpose…. but geez!!!!



“The family ties between hundreds of thousands of German families and their American relatives led many to think that America would never join a second war against Germany.”~Julius Streicher

The past weekend is going to definitely be memorable. And memorable in the most wonderful of ways.

Because I have been doing much better with kicking some nasty habits, I came into more money than usual. So this past weekend, was extended to include Friday night, as well to be able to see ECHO TEMPLE play live at Acadia Bar & Grill.

It was an unusual show for me since I was not with my friends there. I was virtually by myself. That’s if you don’t count the band ECHO TEMPLE or their families, at all.

I digress.

Although I just could not feel it for SIGNAL RISING and RAZOR DOVES. The bands who happened to be first and last for the evening. ECHO TEMPLE went on second, WELLBORN ROAD third.

But it wasn’t for a lack of trying. I mean, I was there for most of the night.

I took my spot near the front of the stage when ECHO TEMPLE started to set up. I was being disrupted and distracted at that fact that there was a DOG inside the club. A dog… just walking around with a Corona bandana around its neck like it belonged there. I would see the dog throughout the entire night. I am guessing that it had to belong to one of the owners or something. It was still strange to see it.

One of the funniest moments of the evening was when the set lists were being passed out, guitarist John Wisser asked me if I wanted a program.

Usually those set lists are kept private or at the very least not talked about much. I just knew that my favorite song from ECHO TEMPLE “Witch” was going to be played at some point. But I still took the set list and then turned around and made the entire band autograph it. And that now makes the second item of band memorabilia that I have fully signed and autographed by the band.

Who’s Da Man???

I was also to secure a photograph of the entire band WITH me in it. I’m told that’s not been done too often. That its difficult to get everyone together. Especially since there’s FIVE of them in the band.

It was funny that guitarist John Wisser AND guitarist Sean Turcott had BOTH come up to me looking for a fist bump before they got started. So awesome!!!

Their set seemed to be shorter than what I remember. But nonetheless, I got “Witch” and as a matter of fact lead singer Tom Calandra dedicated the song to me, announced that came a long, long, long ways to get to the show and that the band knew I loved the song.

I reached up and gave thumbs up, but Tom grabbed me around the hand. I literally thought that he was going to pull me out of my wheelchair and drag me up on stage…. that would have been VERY BAD as I would only been able to lay there like a slug on stage. That’s just not attractive.

But I was thrilled that they would do that for me. It felt like I was fitting in with the band, or that they cared what their fans/listeners thought.

The band would hang out for the rest of the evening. And later it was stated that’s okay for me to hang out with the band. Even if I thought they were discussing band business. It was expressed that if whatever they were talking about was serious enough that they wouldn’t be talking about it in a club. But rather in private, so I shouldn’t have to be afraid to hang out with them and not join the conversation.

It was then that I realized I was not just a fan, but part of the ECHO TEMPLE family.

How much more awesome does this get???? First SIX MINUTE CENTURY. Now ECHO TEMPLE.

Wellborn Road got up on stage and practically melted my face off with their blinding style of lyrics and metal music. They are from College Station…. home of Texas A&M. What was interesting to note was that when the band started to play a group of people moved forward and stood there for the rest of the set. Looking like a wave of college students.  Holy Crap!! Everyone has their following! 300x300

But I was impressed. I missed them when they opened for none other than ECHO TEMPLE back in March at the House Of Blues. I got to see them from beginning to end.

I got to talking to the lead singer for a little bit after promoter Rusty Conner made the original introduction. Before the guy knew it, I was wanting merchandise and as much as he could give it and as much as I could afford it.

I ended up with a couple of their CD’s, a t-shirt, and a download code. I wanted two shirts, but they didn’t have the size. They didn’t actually have the size that I was looking for to begin with and it proved that truly I am a size XXL in t-shirts. I had the Wellborn Road t-shirt on earlier and my belly was showing at the bottom. Unattractive.

We’ll see if Wellborn Road comes to my area now.

He saw the military tags around my neck and assumed. And a drunk did as well. Ended up getting a FREE drink from the drunk’s assumptions.

Meanwhile the dog kept walking back and forth, in and out of the club all night.

Then Razor Doves got on stage. Constantly announcing that they were from San Antonio. But I just couldn’t get into their vibe. I mean, I was clawing at the walls to get out of there!!!!

Razor Doves just isn’t for me. Neither is Signal Rising. Although Signal Rising had a cool looking t-shirt that I wanted, but nobody came to help me out in that. Who the hell am I supposed to give the money to???

All in all a wonderful night of music. A Prelude if you will… an appetizer for a second night of music that was to come.

“I’ve got one of four known Davy Crockett rifles. It’s fantastic just to know it’s one of the rifles that he actually used. His cousin had it.”~  Phil Collins

Today is a day that I just wanna run up the to the tops of the mountains and scream until I pee in my pants.

After many years… more than a decade of searching for my cousin, she popped up on the radar again.

The last time I actually saw my cousin face to face was around the time of my grandmother’s death. I was only days away from turning 18 years old.

So yeah, its been a long time!!

I recall attempting to establish communication and a connection with her for many years. My younger brother and I would constantly bug that side of the family (which happened to be my biological mother’s side) in order to find out where our cousin was.

Come to find out, she had gone off into the world and just never really stayed in one place to call home. My brother and I had always had the impression that her family was keeping her whereabouts a big ole secret.

However the reunion happened. She surfaced and I was able to talk with my cousin.

It was a long struggle, especially being allowed to think that my brother and I were being blocked with information to where she was at and how we could contact her.

But now I am happier than a tick on a hound dog. Hopefully my cousin and I will stay in better contact.

Wish me luck!!!


“On that day of infamy, April 19th, I cried myself to sleep.”~ “April 19, 1995” by SIX MINUTE CENTURY

Ohh yes. It was time. And a time was had. For those of us who were there.

But of course its not without its story, or otherwise, its blog post.

To say that the evening was epic would not quite reach the true meaning. Don’t get me wrong, it was the best show that I had ever seen from beginning to end.

But to say that the atmosphere was feckless, describes it better.

Yes, that is a real word. Feckless. A synonym of that word has been said to be “Not giving a shit.”

However I did give enough to be down there. Even though it was extremely risky for me to go on a trip like that, still being as sick as I am.

The downside of it was that by the time that day came, I was out of the “good stuff” for medicine. I did have a back up, and that helped me. Of course I didn’t give a shit after I took the medicine. So again, feckless.

Weird how prescription medication works on people!

The Brat (seen in red)

The Brat (seen in red wearing a ponytail)

I was shocked to see our beloved redheaded brat at the bus station in line on her way to Houston. I didn’t think that in a million years that I would ever see her again. You will remember from an earlier post that this was the one that complaining to who I thought was her father, to try and get her to leave her alone. Acting all kinds of bratty. Then had no choice when the bus got full to sit where she was backwards on the bus and looking right at me the entire time… only to cuss me out for no reason after I got off the bus when I got back home.

I took this photograph of her while she wasn’t looking. And never made eye contact with her during the time we were waiting for the bus. I never saw her get on and I never saw her get off the bus either. And that’s just fine.

Once I got to Houston, things got a bit rocky though.

My card was declined at the hotel. Long story short, banks suck. But eventually I got through and got to my room. I had several hours before I would be picked up by Dr. & Mrs. Froth and I was so tired, frustrated, and already hurting a little bit. I could have slept for a little while, but didn’t want to miss my ride. So I forced myself to stay awake and watch television.

I took some medicine and very shortly after that, I received word that Froth was on the way to pick me up. Naturally, I felt just fine by the time they got to the hotel.

Its April. That means time to celebrate the birthday of Chuck Williams.

I realized that my very first show was also an April show, back in 2011. So I have been going to SIX MINUTE CENTURY shows (when I can) for two solid years now.

So on with the show!!!

First up, was a band that Chuck Williams had invited to come perform at BFE Rock Club. Hear N’ Ade.

I really impressed with the band. Not knowing anything about them or the band to follow. I tried my best to look up anything on them as possible, but I guess I was looking in the wrong direction. Still, I was very very much impressed with the band. I told them that I wanted to see them closer to where I am, but they want that audience guarantee that I cannot give them. Oh well.

Near the end of their set, they had Chuck Williams come on stage. They did a cover of Lynch Mob’s “Wicked Sensation” with Chuck Williams on vocals.

Wow. I hadn’t heard that in a long time. I had to look it up. It was 1990.

After that, I looked around to see if a friend that I had invited to show up was still around. At the very least, I am curious about her. She did show up. She brought family and friends, and we did speak a time or two that was a quick chat.

She wanted to know when a certain band was playing, but that band was going to play last.

Then in the middle of it all, I was introduced to a few more people. One in particular came up to me and was going on about how she was excited to finally meet me and that she had been wanting to for a very long time.

Evidently, SIX MINUTE CENTURY guitarist Don LaFon, had told her the tales of me coming all that way to the shows on a bus and being there as much as possible. Giving them support and everything else that I have done for the band in the past several years. And she thought that was so fantastic. So she wanted to meet the person who was behind it all.

Although when she would pass by, she kept rubbing the top of my head. What am I, six years old? Oh well!!

There were friends everywhere. Even some people that I knew on Facebook for a long time but never met them in person before. I finally had the chance to do that. And that’s always awesome. SIX MINUTE CENTURY has some of the most friendliest fans in their corner. owlwitch

The next thing I knew, there was some kind of zombie or something that was a prop on stage as the next band began to set up. Everyone start laughing with much curiosity. Come to find out that it was some kind of smoke machine that would shoot smoke from its mouth and just give the stage that extra pep for effect. It was really cool.

Owl Witch came on stage. They named their smoking friend Lucy.

These guys were brutal. Metal music at its finest. Between their smoking zombie, their loud and hard music and lyrics, and their stage presence.. if it was too loud, then you were in fact too old.

They played this brutal metal the way that it was supposed to. I hadn’t been that stunned and shocked at such a metal force since seeing Decimation Theory. And those guys scare me!!!

When your bass player has a bass strap across his body that is nothing but heavy and huge interlocking chain links… that’s one hell of a stage presence. One that I had never witnessed with my own eyes before.

If they have ANY merchandise…. sign me up!!

I noticed that my own hearing was leaving me at a rapid pace by the time Owl Witch got off the stage. Coupled with not feeling all that well, I wondered if I needed to throw in the towel. But I stuck it out because SIX MINUTE CENTURY was next, and as you all know by now… the purpose of taking these trips to Houston.

I do love my Centurion family though.

Even though SIX MINUTE CENTURY is no longer playing my favorite song “Zero Hour” live any more, I do understand that they are moving on to play some of their new stuff. That is EVENTUALLY supposed to be released. But nobody knows when. Its driving fans crazy to say the least!

They have songs like “Last Days In Paradise” which is about the Jonestown massacre. I had heard rumors that the band was wanting to pass out little cups of Kool-Aid to the audience. I thought it was a clever and very funny gag. Even though Jim Jones handed to his followers Flavor-Aid back then.

But for those who didn’t know what the song was about, or doesn’t know about Jonestown, it would have been lost on them.

Needless to say that that gag never happened. But they still performed the song.

And since it was the 19th of April, now with their song about the Waco Siege in 1993, and their song about the Oklahoma City bombing… both events happening on that date … they performed both. Back to back.

That was really cool. They have two songs now dealing with events of the 19th of April. As well as it being the actual birthday of Chuck Williams. I do hope he had a great birthday! He’s the brother I never had. And now he’s my brother in the Centurion family.

I think that what stuck out for me was that I don’t know all of the words to “Baptized In Flames” but I am learning as there is a YouTube video of them performing live. I caught on to one line of lyrics that I never knew before. It gave me the chills.

“Let our blood be on their hands!”

Holy shit. I know the song is about that bloody and violent end to the Branch Davidians, but wow. I wondered where Chuck Williams came up with that as he writes the lyrics to the songs. The only answer that I got from him when I called him to let him know that I made it safely home was that he pulls lyrics out of his own ass sometimes.

Nice Chuck. Classy! I’m going to have a later chat with him about those lyrics. Because that one line just blew me away!!

I know that the place got full. I was pushed up against the side of the stage. All I could sense was that there was a bunch of people hanging on to the back of my wheelchair for dear life. Thank God for the sense to put on the brakes on my wheelchair!!

SIX MINUTE CENTURY put on a brand new show. None of their usual songs with the exception of a couple. Meanwhile, Chuck had a plethora of shots before his feet on stage. I don’t know how that man could stand up! The band took a drink in front of all, and they rocked the rest of the way.

Near the end, they played the crowd favorite “The Perfect Picture” and it was so awesome and amazing to feel the sensations and hear to the back of my head the entire crowd getting into a united chorus of the song. Sensational!!!

But they did not end with it. Nooooo! “Just Remains” was the song that they ended with. They know that they are a metal band and they want to leave the crowd with something heavy. And that’s what they gave the crowd.

It was a blast!! And there was still one band left.

After the crowd behind me left, I looked to see where everyone was at. Shocked as I was, the one person that I was really there hoping to see ….. was GONE! No family, no friends, nothing but empty bar stools. And I don’t know what happened. Talk about frustrating and devastating at the same damned time!

But you know what? Mrs. Froth said to me earlier that night that if she seemed in a bad mood that she was going to take on the attitude of being fuckless. So there you have it. Not a fuck had to be given.

She says fuckless, I say feckless. Pretty much the same thing.

Then the final band of the night that I had seen before about a month ago when I went to see WELL OF SOULS. A band that I was totally blown away by. It was going to be exciting. scourge

The Scourge took their place on stage and just brought it all together and burned down the place!

They started their set as they did last month, and yes that made me one happy little monkey.

Andrew Atwood got up on that microphone with his knitted hat and just went full throttle on the guitar and nailed it.

Only to find him throwing it off his head and finding a newly shorn scalp. That was something I didn’t expect.

The Scourge did a whole bunch of stuff. Including announcing that they were going to play some old school Metallica.

He shouted the first lines of “Fuel” but then he laughed with a psyche out and they played Dyer’s Eve instead. Yeah, that one is pretty old school.  And not really well known if you are not a Metallica fan around the time “One” had come out and made them uber popular.

But Andrew Atwood and the rest of the band was so in their zone that you could tell that they were having a great time.

If only to get these bands up here!! One day, I WILL have the benefit… and they better come.

So the entertainment was done for the night. However, face-time wasn’t to going to happen as Dr. Froth had to leave the following morning with WELL OF SOULS as they play in San Antonio. That was kind of a big bummer. But I knew it wasn’t like it would never happen again. I was understanding of their situation and so I just kind of hung out and talked with a few people that stuck it out the whole night.

And then came back the one that said that she had been wanting to meet me for a long time. On and off throughout the night she and I spoke. After realizing that I had a fan, she said that she knew everything about me.

Umm…. has fan quickly turned into stalker? What the heck does she know? What the heck COULD she know?? But I had that straightened out and all was well again.

People just talk about me and my journeys and dedication to things than I simply realize. With all of the hugs and shoulder rubs and touches, one understands that one is thought of with deep love and respect.

I got up this morning, hoping that what Derf had said was true. And it was. He and his sidekick was going to take me home so I didn’t need to take the bus back. And that worked out so well that by the time I got home, I looked at the clock I had realized that if I was to have taken the bus, that I would still be in Houston. How fubar is that?!?

Derf being a close friend to Dr. Froth and a great one to me.

As we were rolling up the highway, we noticed all the Blue bonnets and Indian paintbrushes that were beginning to bloom. And then he went off and pointed out that a horse that was standing in a field.

Well, I’ve seen horses before. What was so special about this one?

The horse had its tail up and I never seen that before, but then took the ultimate and largest crap in the field that I had ever seen in my life!!!


I know now to never stand behind a horse that has its tail up like that.

I’ve seen it all now. Someone beam me up.

The ride home was so much better for me in my state anyways, and I am thankful for Derf stepping up and offering to help me out. It goes easier and seemingly a lot faster when there’s someone that you can communicate with and have a conversation.

The next show is going to be in August I understand. It will be Dr. Froth’s Birthday Extravaganza. I’m told by the Centurion family that I do NOT want to miss this coming show. I think something is up. Something’s going to happen. I will just have to wait and see.



F Scott Fitzgerald

F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Please don’t let me fall.”~ Mary Surratt

“The Great Gatsby” will be coming to theaters soon this year, starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

The classic book was written by F. Scott Fitzgerald and published in 1925.

It was this great curiosity about the man that had me research him.

The story tragic and sad and all of that. But more importantly, there was a piece of trivia about his family that just caught my eye.

And you know how I am about trivia.

F. Scott Fitzgerald is related to Mary Surratt. They are cousins once removed.


Mary Surratt

So then who in the world is Mary Surratt?

She is someone who was executed for being a co-conspirator in the assassination of United States President Abraham Lincoln in 1865.

Her story was wild as she probably would be tried and convicted in a court in today’s time for harboring and conspiracy.

But she was actually tried in a military tribunal.

She rented a boarding house in Maryland, where those who were found guilty would meet up and plan their actions to kill the President.

What I found rather interesting and unusual was that even though she was being held inside a federal prison and being kept watch by soldiers, her treatment during her trial was a lot different than her co-conspirators.

She wasn’t shackled in the transfers between the courthouse and the jail cell that she was being held in.

Her prison cell was always being changed to suit her needs. And around the time of her execution, she was in pain and misery. Both from sorrow of knowing her fate and menstrual pains.

She was allowed to wear a veil over her face when she was faced with execution. But she was the only female in the group of people who were being tried for conspiracy and the actual murder of the President.

Hangings After

Execution. Mary Surratt hangs first from the left.

It is also noteworthy to add that not everyone who was brought to trial over the assassination was found guilty. Surratt’s son, was found not-guilty for conspiracy. But Surratt was found guilty and hanged on a very warm afternoon in July 1865.

And so I found it interesting. I think though that genealogy has always been a small interest of mine. To find out who I am and who I am not actually related to.

To my own knowledge, I do not have any relatives that would be worthy of noting. Nor am I a family relative, any times at all removed, to be related or connected to anyone fascinating or famous.

But perhaps one day I will go and study it for myself and find out.

IF I am, I’ll be sure to let you know who it is that Dambreaker is related to.






“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”~ Havelock Ellis

As many millions of people in the United States are doing their last minute preparations for Thanksgiving Day, I noted the actual date in which this holiday has fallen this year. The actual numbered day of the month of November.

In 2012, Thanksgiving Day in the United States will be the 22nd of November.

This day is a bit more significant for me and my family other than just it being Thanksgiving Day.

All the way back in 1984, Thanksgiving Day also landed on the 22nd of November. So then why is it so significant?

That was the exact date that year when my family had moved from Sherwood, Arkansas to Winfield, Kansas. My family had been packing for what seemed like forever and I as a child still had to attend school until the Thanksgiving break.

From the time that I had made the announcement in my class that my family was in fact going to move, until the very last day of school being in session before the holiday break, I was treated much like a crowned prince. Extra special favors came from the teacher and from the school itself.

I was rather excited about the move, because I was about to be in a brand new place that I had never been before. The idea in my infant mind was thrilling. But the feeling was not shared by all of my siblings. So it was a mixed bag of emotions for the family.

Of course my short life up until that point was aware that the usual feast of turkey, dressing, and dessert was to be on that day. And I began to wonder if it was cancelled. At least for my family.

That very early morning the family would wake and then we all went out to eat for breakfast. Something that we didn’t do that often. Not breakfast. And then when we got back, it was time for my parents to pick up the last of our things and get into the family vehicle, and begin to drive several hundred miles to our new home.

I remember that a moving van had taken a majority of our things ahead of time, so there wasn’t really much to pack up that morning.

The neighbors came out to say their final farewells. Even the neighborhood kids that me and my younger brother had played with all of our lives were nervous, sad, and didn’t really know what to say other than good-bye. Apparently my family had made quite an impression on everyone.

And off we went. We all were unsure of what was to happen. The fact of my mother just being diagnosed with cancer less than a year before, it swiftly turned to this bright future of exploring new things to a nervous watch on my mother to see how she would handle the all day ride with her illness.

My father had said in the vehicle that we actually would have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with a family there in Kansas. And they were expecting us to arrive in the evening. But for those of you who have children know that their attention spans don’t grasp such things.

I recall stopping somewhere in the northeastern part of Oklahoma for lunch. And because it was Thanksgiving Day, NOTHING was open!!! No fast food, no diners, nothing. Just a few gas stations along the highway. But that was only if you were lucky. Convenience stores and gas stations were nothing back then like they are today.

Lunch however that day would be at a truck stop. But exactly where, I no longer remember. I do recall almost vividly a hand written sign inside of the truck stop that said “NO CHILDREN ALLOWED AT BAR” and that scared the crap out of me.

The truck stop had a buffet style restaurant inside and I was thinking that the “bar” in question was a food bar, but I was incorrect. There was actually a watering hole directly attached to the side of the restaurant.

There was also a sign that said “EAT ALL OF WHAT YOU TAKE, PLEASE” and to me, that meant even less. I recall that it would terrify my young mind shortly after when I had asked my parents if I could have more food and they both warned me strictly about eating everything and leaving nothing to waste. Well, that second plate of food did go to waste because I had become full. I was scared to death of what they were going to do to me for not eating anything. The fear inside of my childish mind consumed me to the point that once I had admitted that I was full, my eyes were full of tears until the point where we paid for our lunch and got back out on the highway.

Eventually, we arrived at our new location after dark. It was pretty late that I remember. So we had a traditional Thanksgiving feast and then when that was done, my entire family pretty much went to bed.

Once we walked into the house of our holiday host, I began to think about my best friend who lived across the street and how there would be no more neighborhood kickball matches in the street or in someone’s front or backyard.

I began to think of all the other boys in girls in my class that I had left. Particularly one that I thought was cute named Summer.

I began to think suddenly after that of all the girls that were in the neighborhood, city and other places that I was sweet on and would give hugs and kisses. Knowing that I would never do it again. And how I wanted to be able to hug and kiss them more and more.

Yes even then, girls were not an alien thought to my boyhood mind.

But our host family was kind and even though it was so late when we arrived, they had held off THEIR holiday meal until we had arrived.

All of this happening Thanksgiving Day of 1984. Soon for my family, we would remember the anniversary of that date for many years to come. Until we had moved again in 1989. Less than two full years after my mother had died. And less than a full year from when my father had re-married. Those months were like a blur because so much had happened so quickly.

But the move in 1989 did not occur on Thanksgiving Day. But rather we moved after the end of the school year in May. Memorial Day to be exact. I started to think that there was a pattern that if my family was ever to move from one location of the country to the next or even across the state that we would always do so on some holiday. That train of thought however disappeared once I started high school.

The whole purpose of Thanksgiving Day is not lost on me. I have plenty to give thanks for. Especially in the last decade and a half of my life. As an adult, I can appreciate a lot more things in life that I know I’ve been fortunate to experience. As a boy, I probably wouldn’t think the same.

The Thanksgiving holiday in the United States is always the fourth Thursday in November. But it does not always happen on the 22nd of the month. It did back in 1984 and it does in 2012.  So I made the connection this week when thinking about what I am actually thankful for this year.


“If you live a life of make-believe, your life isn’t worth anything until you do something that does challenge your reality. And to me, sailing the open ocean is a real challenge, because it’s life or death.”~ Morgan Freeman

Even I believe that this story is too good and too funny to pass up to pass around. 

My sister had come by with her children. My nephew and niece. My nephew had noticed that no lights were on in my home. The sun was shining and still sufficient natural light was there, so I didn’t feel the need to use the electricity.

My nephew wanted to know why it was so dark. And his mother literally looked him in the eye, and said that I was a vampire.

I looked up and saw that she had said it with a straight face. She was a wall of all sincerity explaining to her child why the lights were out.

My nephew actually fell for it, it had seemed. But I was so intrigued that my sister said it without cracking up and laughing.

Later on, I would be told that my nephew said to his mother that he did NOT really think that I was a vampire.

Darn!!!!! I wanted to see how long that I could make that one go.

It’s interesting how parents throughout generations have said certain things existed just to get their children to behave. The monster of the bed, the thing in the closet, and the threats of misbehaving children to be taken away by demons and devils forever.

But then we also have things like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. Some of the things we are told as children are told to put the fear into us, so that we would end up being good children. At least children that will do what our parents want.

The other side of it, we’re told as children that our good behavior will be rewarded.

As adults, we don’t really have that kind of thing that will curb our behavior. We’re not exactly rewarded for doing good things in our lives. But then again, we’re not threatened by evil for when we do bad things.

Maybe we should come up with something?? A huge group of people from all nations should combine their children’s myths to tie it into adulthood and for those able to talk about it with a straight face, let these adults know that there’s rewards for good behavior and punishment for bad behavior.

Nonetheless, I think that I could have curbed my nephew’s behavior… had he still believed that I was in fact, a vampire!!!