No Thank You, Jasmine Tridevil

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”~ Jane Austen

Since I’m on a roll here ….. 

Dear Whatever-Your-Name-Really-Is,

Your name isn’t fooling anyone.

I know that things must be tough for you, being 21 years old and all of that and out in the scary part of the world known as “Florida” however I don’t think that there’s a single person that I personally know in life who has been impressed by your image which has been thrust into the media lately.

Your ALLEGED $20,000 body modification to your chest is almost laughable. But since the jury is still out on the situation I shall digress.

Your comment about how you wanted to become unattractive to men, so you threw on a third breast IS however the truly laughable part. Instead of being unattractive to all men (simply because you don’t wanna date any more) now you have more breasts than anyone else on the planet, which is going to make you stand out to men even MORE and thus … your plan has officially BACKFIRED.

Seriously speaking though, what is it that as infants we cling to the most especially moments after being born? What is the one thing that gave us comfort as well as nourishment and growth?

BREASTS. 

Its actually the very first thing that everyone on the planet has put in their mouths moments after being born!!!

And you think that throwing on a third is going to turn off a guy? Wow, you don’t know men at all!!!!

One thing is for certain though, this has garnished you enough attention that you truly were seeking to begin with. And that’s all this is: a campaign to gain attention. The spotlight absolutely MUST be put on you, huh?? 

Unfortunately you are not old enough to remember the 1990 original version of TOTAL RECALL starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. The three breasted look already has been done! What you are doing is nothing new or inventive.

And now you want your own television show on MTV.

Let me clue you in on something: MTV is not as popular as it once was. Hardly a soul watches MTV any more. At least to my knowledge people have have abandoned MTV since MTV quit being MTV. And you want people’s attention to watch you on camera on that particular television channel??? Is there any particular reason as to why you want MTV that I am missing or didn’t catch some where else????

I honestly though feel for you, since you are on an attention seeking campaign right now. Starting with that alleged $20,000 boob job. That’s pretty expensive to try to get the guys to turn away. But then have them turn back and look at you while on television.

You really need to figure out what it is you want.

Do you want to repel men or do you want your television show? Because at this stage, breasts are just what men are going to totally dig whether or not its two breasts, three breasts, or one hundred. Let me warn that if you add any more breasts to your chest then the TOTAL RECALL jokes and comments will disappear for sure and you’ll be nothing but looking like a woman with cow’s udders. The “GOT MILK?” jokes will come in full force. (IF they haven’t already.)

Sadly though your attention bid will more than likely be over soon. The Sam Pepper scandal along with what is going on right now in the Middle East and now another public area shooting that happened? All of these things are going to kick you out of the spotlight! And that’s not what you want, is it??

So let’s hurry up and make a decision of what you want to do with your life. The time is ticking on your viral-ness and you are almost out of sand.

I think that you WILL be contacted for television appearances but it won’t be at the caliber you are hoping for. And get ready for the offers to pose topless because honestly your goods are you being topless. Massage therapy now seems like a distant dream. The dream is fading. Better hurry up and catch it!!!

After posting this to WordPress, it was brought to my attention with absolute certainty that this story is in fact, a hoax. And personally I am thankful for that. She still needs to figure out what she needs to do with her life, other than stage hoaxes for attention.

However, since I did not believe in the story’s truthfulness 100%… I did use the term “alleged” when writing because I didn’t think that it would be true. Thank you for those people who were trying to correct the situation, as well as those who were just being vindictive assholes to prove me wrong. Instead of this being an opinionated post, it now shall remain intact on this blog…… but as satire. Thank you all for your “concern”…. DAMBREAKER

Sexual Favors Of Law Enforcement

“When your dad’s a cop, calling 911 is really just like calling Dad at work.“~Ryan Reynolds

I’m real close to considering a separate and totally new blog about the stupidity of humanity as it comes to my knowledge and separating everything by state.

I have a feeling that Florida would probably be a full blog with plenty of posts. This would be one of them.

Honestly, how many times have I written in this blog about something stupid happening in Florida?

http://www.policeone.com/bizarre/articles/6905602-Fla-woman-asks-for-sex-from-cop-dials-911-after-denial/

Thankfully to find out that this woman was very much so intoxicated. I would personally much prefer that they threw every law book in existence at her for wasting safety resources and the time of law enforcement.

But in any case… since a huge majority of my readership/followers are female– after reading the article, enjoy the eye candy.

You’re welcome, ladies!!!!!!!!!!

Mother Steals; Then Receives

“Charity is no substitute for justice withheld.”~ Saint Augustine

So here’s a story for you about a lot of things. Charity being one of them.

In Florida, Jessica Robles realized that she had no food in the house to feed herself or her small children. Her boyfriend just lost his job, and due to some kind of error, she had been receiving food assistance but had lost it because of the glitch.

What does Jessica do in her time of absolute desperation? She went to the local grocery store and filled her grocery cart with about $300 of groceries and attempted to simply walk out without paying for it.

But she did not get away with it. Seasoned Miami-Dade police officer Vicki Thomas busted Jessica for shoplifting.

And this is where the tale turns into an unusual twist. Instead of taking Jessica to jail, Vicki went inside the grocery store and with HER OWN MONEY, purchased $100 worth of groceries.

When Vicki asked Jessica why she had committed the crime, the answer unsettled Vicki to her core: “My children are hungry.”

Apparently, Jessica did not have any history of habitual shoplifting. Instead of going to jail and allowing the children to go on being hungry, she was given a misdemeanor and told to show up in court. And then received the $100 in groceries. The officer making Jessica promise that once she was able to get back on her feet that she give the  same kind of help to someone else that she received.

And that’s where the bulk of the story splits off into differently wild directions. None of which I can track and verify to be the truth. But everything up to this point, is the truth.

Speculation suggests that when the news of this heart-warming story of charity by the law officer was spread around, that people donated to help out Jessica. And from that general donation, she received an additional $700 in groceries. Another story claims that she was picked up for an interview based on this wild crime story, and ended up landing a job in customer service.

As much as this story is loving and gives people the gooey inside feeling of warmth. I look at this situation and feel for Jessica. However, stealing/shoplifting would probably not be the direction that I would go in, in order to feed my children. But I do not know exactly her situation. Perhaps she did try other things to keep afloat and it fell apart or whatever.

And should the other stories be true about how the community came together to help her out and gave her so many groceries…. I hope that for her own sake and for the sake of her children, that she does the right thing and fights her way to get back on her feet, rather than hope that someone will bail her out again when all that goes away. However, as I stated, I do not know if the uber-generosity story is true or not.

http://www.wsvn.com/news/articles/local/21012009392020/cop-helps-admitted-shoplifter-with-groceries/
http://www.baynews9.com/content/news/baynews9/news/article.html/content/news/articles/bn9/2013/10/22/miami_dade_officer_b.html

Facebook Killer

Derek Medina and Jennifer Alfonso

“Murder begins where self-defense ends.”~Georg Buchner

Okay, so already some of you are whining and complaining about gender bias and how I made females look crazy because I posted about female killers.

Well, I have two things to say to that: MEN do stupid things too, and women (no, not all) will often times be so jaded by them that the good men of the world suffer for it. AND the other thing I have to say about it, is here’s the “other gender” story for you. So just calm down!!

This story I found particularly insane as there’s no ending to it as of yet.

31 year old Derek Medina is now awaiting trial, being charged with the shooting murder of his wife, 26 year old  Jennifer Alfonso that occurred on the 8th of August of 2013.

This murder was so weird and odd because not only did the husband allegedly shoot and kill Alfonso, but afterwards, he took photographs of her dead body and then guess what he did? 

HE POSTED THEM ON HIS FACEBOOK PROFILE!!

(Edited here for obvious reasons. Here’s the screen cap of his Facebook profile on the day he shot and killed Alfonso. Through some good searching, you can find the unedited photograph. Not suggested though.)

And the only question I have is WHY????

Not WHY did he kill her, but WHY did he take a photograph of her laying there either dying or already dead, and post that on Facebook???

What kind of person does that?

Derek Medina is now charged with her murder.

He admitted to killing her. But Medina is ALSO stating that he had killed Alfonso in self-defense. Medina is always saying that he had gone through abuse by the hands of Alfonso. Which is not uncommon, but really never is heard of in today’s  news and society. Its possible she may have been abusive to him in some manner. But whether or not this death was because of self-defense…… nobody knows. 

A tentative date for his trial is just around the corner. And we’ll see if his “self-defense” plea holds up in a Miami, Florida court of law.

Autopsy reports are out as well as Medina’s 26 page report of when he finally turned himself in to the authorities. Autopsy shows that Alfonso was on her knees and has wounds to her arms, as if to protect her face. That doesn’t sound like someone who is giving abuse to another person to me. It rather sounds like someone scared for their life, and in this case, rightfully so as Alfonso was shot MORE than six times.

But as I said, we’ll see when finally Medina is brought to trial.

Another Viral Vitamin

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”~Lily Tomlin

In just a few days, over 1.1 MILLION views came to the hair tutorial of this Florida middle school girl. Why? Because the unthinkable happened and to be honest, one of the funniest things to have happened in a long time on the Internet.

The hair tutorial that Tori Locklear was recording when horribly, horribly wrong when she misjudged her own curling iron. The inevitable and the horrific happened.

And over a million people now have seen it in its fully restored glory.

Another video gone viral and for what or why? Because other people thought it was hilarious.

But good grief! I don’t understand why anyone who has been captured on video OR at least had been recording a video and something out of the ordinary and unexpected had happened.  

Do we all remember a certain woman that went by the name of Scarlet?

OF COURSE WE DO!

We all have seen the unfortunate circumstances that unfolded when she decided to step up and dance and continue her performance on a table that ended in tragedy.

We all laughed our asses off at that one though. Many people even went to lengths to record their reactions to the video or record someone else’s reaction. I recall thinking about recording MY OWN reaction to watching the video and posting it as my first YouTube video. Thankfully, I talked myself out of it.

Since “Scarlet Takes A Tumble” there have been many videos that have gone viral and then went away quietly into the night.

Locklear’s decision to post this video, if I am hearing correctly, was something that she held on to and then made a decision later to post it. Her thought along with others, is what I don’t understand.

Why in the world would anyone willingly post something that humiliating or horrible of themselves to YouTube or anywhere else on the Internet??

Scarlet’s viral video is still exceptionally funny to this day. But nobody’s ranting about it any more and they haven’t been ranting about it for a very long time now. And other viral videos from other vloggers and bloggers haven’t really made anyone rich that they are still talked about today.

Remember Antoine Dodson? No?? How about “hide yo kids, hide yo wife”.. does that ring a bell? That probably did.

He’s no longer much in the public eye either. Although to give him credit, his appearance on a YouTube video was not because of him being or doing something humiliating.

Poor Tori Locklear though. This accident happened to her, and millions are laughing still all week this week. Who knows why in the world she decided to post this video! It could have been because she wanted to become viral, and possibly be famous from it. After all, bad press is still good press. But I cannot honestly say to you that is the reason why this video has blown up in the past several days.

Question still remains: WHY??

 

The Judge Vs. The Beast

Since this is my 400th blog post, let’s talk about something viral that everyone seems to know something about and 100% of them are either laughing or crying for more blood.

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/Penelope-Soto-Woman-Who-Flipped-Off-Judge-Set-to-Apologize-to-Him-Friday-in-Court-190256681.html

Florida teenager, 18 year old Penelope Soto, was being charged in court for illegal possession of Xanax.

Now being that this was her very first rodeo in a criminal court, and probably that she was under the influence of said drug when she arrived in front of a judge, Little Miss I’m-Sure-Its-A-Dye-Job found herself being asked questions about what she owned and what assets she got.

Miss Giggles-In-Court began to actually smile and laugh and then blame the judge for her inappropriate behavior in court before bragging that she had a lot of jewelry that was worth a lot of money.

Since she did own a vehicle and her jewelry counts as assets, bond was posted at $5,000. But something wasn’t sitting right with the judge. She called out “Adios!” to him with a rather snide tone. So he brought her back and then DOUBLED it to $10,000!!

Sassy-In-An-Orange-Jumpsuit stood there in shock and disbelief and the judge gave her back the same attitude and offending behavior as she had given him as he was presiding over her case, telling HER “Adios!” as she just had done to him moments before. It definitely was a taste of her own medicine.

The smart-mouthed teenager then walked away, dropped the F-bomb and gave the judge the finger. But the judge just so happened to be looking at the time she had done that. So again, she was brought before him.

He made her confess that she had sworn at him and disrespected him with her gesture and gave her 30 days in the county jail. Not just for contempt but for CRIMINAL contempt.

A lot of people are expressing their views on the matter. Many of them, if not all that I have seen have stated that she needed more time in the county jail and others have even gone so far as to say that the bratty little girl who kept playing with her hair in front of a judge needs a serious spanking.

Later, Miss Xanax would appear in front of a different judge to answer for her drug charges. And wouldn’t you know it, they went soft on her. My theory is that since she had no priors.

She’s to enter into a drug program and actually finish that program. And if she is successful, then the drug possession charge will disappear!!

But she still must serve that 30 day sentence for Criminal Contempt. But she will receive an opportunity in the morning and apologize to the original judge that sentenced her.

The first judge is the only person that can drop the contempt charge against her, and nobody else. We will all keep our eyes pealed in the morning to see what happens and see if she laughs and smiles again. And we will also see if she just waves hello again or shoots another finger.

 

 

Shattered Justice

“Justice Is Lost
Justice Is Raped
Justice Is Gone
Pulling Your Strings
Justice Is Done
Seeking No Truth
Winning Is All
Find it So Grim
……….So True
……….So Real” ~ Metallica, “And Justice For All”

This afternoon was a collective gasp and sigh of global proportions. The verdict was read in the Casey Anthony murder trial, and I would have to say that the world held so silent and still in those moments when those words were spoken.

There are now millions of people horrified, sickened, confused, and dumbfounded that Casey Anthony would be found “Not Guilty” of murder in the first degree.

But let’s look at all seven counts in which Casey Anthony was charged in the dealings of the death of her daughter, Caylee Anthony:

First degree murder: NOT GUILTY

Aggravated child abuse: NOT GUILTY

Aggravated manslaughter of a child: NOT GUILTY

And FOUR counts of providing false information to a law enforcement officer: All four counts with the same verdict of GUILTY.

In other words, a jury of seven women and five men did not find Casey Anthony guilty of murdering her daughter, but did find her guilty of lying to the police? Really now.

There are many, many people in this country and across the world who are simply outraged at this verdict. Women in particular. Mothers and fathers alike. Parents. And I would have to say that I would not blame them.

I thought for sure when I heard that she was not guilty of first degree murder, that she would get it for manslaughter. But I was wrong. I believe that the prosecutors in this case did not believe that they had a slam dunk case against Casey Anthony and therefore added the other charges against her, in case she was acquitted of the murder charge. In which she was.

A lot of prosecutors are doing that nowadays during a murder trial. If they don’t feel 100% confident that they can put someone away for murder, they will also charge them with manslaughter which is a lesser offensive. Serious nonetheless!

Had the jury decided she was not guilty of first degree murder, they could have decided that she was guilty of either second degree or even third degree felony murder. Similarly, the jury could have found her guilty of child abuse rather than aggravated child abuse.

But none of this happened. The jury simply found her innocent of the charges which dealt with the death of Caylee. However they kicked her ass and threw the book at her for lying.

So then what does this mean? In the state of Florida, providing false information to a law enforcement officer is punishable of imprisonment UP TO one year per each count. Doesn’t not mean that she will automatically receive a year of incarceration for each charge, which would total her time in prison to four years. Only “up to” a year.

Also, this does not mean that if she is to serve one year for each count, that they will be consecutive. The judge could decide that she could serve time concurrently with the charges. And that means that Casey Anthony will be spending less time in prison. Then, she will be free to walk the streets along with the rest of us.

I have a feeling that Casey Anthony will not be spending the next four years in prison. She probably won’t spend much time in prison at all. Considering the fact that she’s been incarcerated since 2008. She was set free on bail for these charges of murder, but then was arrested again for a theft charge and that took away her chance of walking around until the murder trial started.

I have a feeling that the judge is going to order that she’s got time served. Slap her on her lying butt, and then let her go.

If I could say one thing about it to Casey Anthony, it would be that I think it would be very wise of her once she is a freed person, to be very cautious and careful, because there are A LOT of angry people out there right now. And I mean A LOT!!

There’s going to be a chance that someone is going to seek retribution in their own ways which could cause harm.

Casey Anthony was far from being in the race for “Parent of the Year”. Like many others, I did not believe that she was a good parent during the times where Caylee had been missing, and then found dead. Casey’s choices were less than of a prudent person who could have and should have been grieving and seeking justice for their child.

The family has problems. Casey definitely has problems. Eventually, this will all catch up to everyone involved. I do believe that the jury made a mistake. But what is done is done. Casey Anthony CAN NOT be put on trial for the murder of Caylee again, as is protected by the Fifth Amendment of the United States Constitution dealing with what is called “double jeopardy”.

Even if Casey Anthony confesses and admits to killing her own child, there’s nothing that can be done about it. At least not in the sense of putting her on trial for that murder. Perhaps though, there is some kind of state law in Florida that prosecutors may be able to charge her with, and then bring her to the rightful justice that she deserves.

And though she was acquitted of murder, she’s still in jail until this coming Thursday where she will be sentenced for lying to the police. Again, the world will be watching and waiting. My money now is that the world will react in the same manner as it did this afternoon.

Time will tell.

For all that I believe, the jury got it wrong. The ONLY way that I can see that the jury would vote NOT GUILTY is because of the lack of hard evidence. I did not watch the trial nor was I there, so I cannot say whether that is what happened or not. So many people in this world would’ve been so ready to flip the switch on Casey Anthony. But these twelve jurors were not. And its final.

We can all hope that the sentencing phase of the trial, will go over a lot “better” than expected.

What are your thoughts??