Wild Weekends

“We are a very, very unusual species.”~Richard Dawkins

I’m tired. I am literally just flat out tired.

Just when I thought I was back on top by sleeping in and taking naps from the ruckus weekend before in Houston, I’m exhausted again. Wiped out and no longer feeling any desire to take anybody’s drama or crap.

Human beings weren’t made to take in everyone’s bullshit and then process it normally. In fact, I am still a believer to this day that there is NO such thing as normal.

Nobody dares to come to me and define it either.

Allow me of course…. to demonstrate. Please forgive that the image is as small as it is. Its a screen cap from YouTube.

 

In the ever changing world of the world wide webs… Europe got put back on the map. And not in a good way either.

This group of music fans got their YouTube account blitzed by YouTube officially because of too many complains of violations of copyright infringements to their specific videos. One of which would be including Sony Music Entertainment.

So this group of French music fans (probably around Paris) got their heads together and decided to ambush their favorite music idol. As news may have it, the idol’s new album is due for release on the 5th of November. But someone within their ranks obtained the album in its entirety. And then they were threatening to “leak it” out on to the Internet. But they were not ultimately thinking unanimously on this decision. So they went to their Facebook fan page and asked their 5,000+ “fans” whether or not to leak the album or not. Most of them claiming that by doing this, the action would bring down Sony Music Entertainment to their knees and shake them to the core.

What in the world are these French people thinking?!?!?!?

All it caused was panic, anger, and a worldwide split of fans by staggering and voluminous proportions. The split went right down the middle and anyone caught standing there was not spared.

As the drama died down, a few colleagues had stated personally that they were no longer associating themselves with the French elitist fan core group and refused to put up with any more of their mammoth pipe dreams that they are kings and queens of this world, and over the general fan base as a whole.

Believing in that rules do not apply to them, and then have YouTube prove them wrong actually just caused one hell of a ripple in the fanatical community.

Enter the blabbermouth of the night. I will not say exactly who this person is, but I will say that she has a very unusual spelling of the first name “Megan.” Obviously that’s not it, but still its different.

So she cursed and swore and was foul throughout the entire night. The only thing that she was agreeable upon was that this French group of fans was way out of line.

As I progressed, I found myself in some odd sort of chat session with this “Megan” and about five or six other female fans. And I began to wonder how is it that I am always finding myself in this situation as it has happened more than twice before?

Digressing from that question, and moving on towards more shenanigans that just makes you wanna roll your eyes.

Because “Megan” had an unusual spelling of her first name, and it was late in the hour of the night, I attempted to write her name and had a typo.

Yep. Pretty rare for me but it happened. “Megan” LOST HER MIND!!!!!

Again, she became coarse and vulgar and profane. All because of a typo of her name. She appeared to be uncaring of the fact that it was a simple mistake and demanded that I “get it right” and so forth. Even my colleague jumped in and attempted to explain that sometimes typos just happen. But she didn’t care.

So, I decided to fight fire with fire.

This so-called “Megan” would receive a new nickname. This “Megan” would for the rest of the night would be referred to as “Meat Muffin.” And that way, there would be no chance for making the same error ever again because she was so adamant about getting her name right.

Evidently, Meat Muffin didn’t like that. Well guess what? TOO BAD!!!! If you’re going to cry so loudly about a simple typo that was made late at night, you’re going to be the Meat Muffin.

The following evening, I had gone to the local dollar store in hopes of finding some snacks. But I was interfered with by some strange man that I did not know.

All I wanted to do was get inside the dollar store and get back home before the sun went down. However this guy wanted to have a little chat with me.

Apparently  the warning words of my apartment manager had come to fruition based on my horrible encounters with people who thought that I would be the “perfect target” and would be a helpless victim of their desires to commit a crime.

This guy apparently lives in the same neighborhood and had heard the stories of my defending myself. So he started to question me about whether or not it was true. 

And then things turned ugly.

He had challenged me to attempt to do the same thing in self-defense as I had done to those who were actually trying to commit a crime and rob or assault me.

But when I refused, he became quite belligerent.

The “fight or flight” instinct chose FLIGHT for once instead of fight. And had it not been for his woman to tear him away from my presence, it probably would have ended far worse than the ending of HBO series The Sopranos.

I turned a corner and moved on. I was only about 15-20 feet away from hitting a downward slopping ramp which would have propelled me in speed and got me farther away from the guy as fast as possible. But I did hear a POP or a SNAP. Apparently he attempted to either scare me or actually connect. He failed to do either.

I dashed inside of the dollar store, talked to the employees of what just happened and forewarned them that I was going to be “hanging out” in the store for a while until I either thought that the guy was gone or that it was safe. Needless to say the plan to get home before the sun went down ALMOST didn’t happen.

And they wonder why I don’t usually go outside after dark.

I’m fine though. Unharmed and safe.

I remember what the guy looked like and I warned others of what had happened.

Then FINALLY to add it all up and wrap it in a nice little ball of world CRAP….. the local high school campus which is near my home was on lockdown because a call went into the police department about a suspicious man that entered on to the campus with a gun.

The police department came through and searched the area and found nobody with a gun or any kind of weapon. And nobody was around that was fitting the description given to them in the initial report.

I couldn’t even leave my apartment complex because people all around the neighborhood totally freaked out. But in this particular case… I could not really blame them. Safety SHOULD BE first!!!

All of this before Friday evening. All of this before the official start of the weekend. Geez… I wonder what the hell is next???

 

 

 

 

 

Cough, Sputter, And Choke: A Tale Of French Wee-Wee

“Ability is nothing without opportunity.”~Napoleon Bonaparte

I promise you, dear faithful readers that I… until tonight… had not known about this weird story of medicine and autopsy which involved great figures in world history.

When I kept researching to either confirm or deny this story, I did exactly what I said: Cough, Sputter, and Choke.

We all know the story about Napoleon and his military and political conquest in France during its Revolution.

But this is the story of what happened to him after his death in 1821.

We know he was exiled on the island of Saint Helena and that’s where he died in early May. His final words are written down to be ” France, armée, tête d’armée, Joséphine.”

Then here comes the interesting parts.

An autopsy was performed on his body and his heart was supposed to be sent back to France to be given to his lover, but the heart never made it.

Then his own personal doctor,  surreptitiously took his penis during the autopsy and gave it to a priest, who smuggled it to Corsica. The priest was killed in a bizarre blood vendetta, but passed it along to his family. They kept it until 1916, when a British collector got hold of it.

It was apparently put on display once, in New York in 1927, and crowds turned out to see it.  Many describing it as being like a piece of leather or a shriveled eel. Quite plainly, the member was not put in formaldehyde and preserved properly. And so it deteriorated rapidly through decay.

It was in a little leather presentation box, and it had been dried out in the air. It hadn’t been put in formaldehyde so it was rather the worse for wear, a bit like beef jerky.

Then along came a hero of sorts. As this severed shaft was being paraded around the entire world on display.

Dr. John Lattimer, one of the world’s leading urologists at the time, bought the member at auction in 1977 for $3,000 to take it out of circulation. He stated that he was horrified that the scientific bit was being made fun of. And as an urologist, this was pretty much right up his alley. And yes, pun intended.

So when he had it in his possession, he had the organ go through a series of tests, including an x-ray, to make valid that it was in fact, a penis.

After Lattimer’s death in 2007, it was actually shown to a few select people who describe it to be about an inch to an inch and a half in total length, like leather or beef jerky. But no photographs or  video is being allowed. As Napoleon HIMSELF said, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

So where’s the beef??? Wouldn’t we want the whole penile proof????

France’s most famous sex organ is now under lock and key by the daughter of the good doctor, in New Jersey. Offers up to $100,000 have been given, but to no avail.

Now I think I know there was a reason why, as children we would always say his name as “Napoleon Boner-part.”