“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself. “~ Wayne Dyer
I have a tale for you.
The relationship is over. As least for these two. And it is all because of someone falsely judging another.
Holly had a birthday party. She invited her best friend Kimberly to come. But Kimberly had given her RSVP as a “NO”. At first, Holly didn’t think too much about it. But soon after that, Holly began to become bitter that her best friend wasn’t going to be there at her birthday party. Kimberly was the best and only friend that Holly had. And it had started back when they were both about six years old.
The party came and went. Kimberly of course wasn’t there. And Holly had a miserable time at her own party even though she stuck it out with wearing a mask of smiles to the rest of her party guests.
Holly never did go to her best friend to find out why she didn’t attend the birthday party. Instead, Holly made up her own assumptions and investigated Kimberly’s whereabouts using leads outside of simply asking her.
Holly decided that Kimberly was not the best friend she thought. And refused to talk to her for weeks and even months. Even though Kimberly did attempt to communicate with Holly some time after the party. Holly was too set in her ways to “punish” Kimberly for what she had done until Kimberly saw the light.
But because of the silent treatment, Holly ended up losing Kimberly as a friend. By the time Holly was “ready” to talk to her again, Kimberly had moved on.
Holly absolutely took it upon herself to be Kimberly’s judge, jury, and executioner. Because of the fact that Kimberly didn’t go to the party, then Holly deemed Kimberly guilty of being a terrible friend and chose the method of execution to be the silent treatment. But what Holly didn’t realize is that the longer she stayed silent, the worse it got for their relationship.
This is just one example of how our attitudes and behaviors can actually do more damage than good. All because someone has said or done something that we did not agree with. Where in the world do we get off believing that it is “okay” to punish those people for saying or doing those things?
We receive the answers that we deep down, don’t want. And because of it, we set out to make those who gave us those answers to suffer. Does this make any sense to anybody out there?!?
I’ve done it. We ALL… have done this in some form or another to those whom we say that we love. But in doing so, did it ever give us the result that we truly wanted? Absolutely not!
If life was meant to be a peach, we’d all have pie. But then nobody would want cake. Life is full of disappointments and in some cases- failures. A lot of the times, these disappointments are out of our control. Instead of forcing our views upon people for the sake of getting our way all of the time, we should be learning from the times when things just don’t go the way we had hoped.
If we continue to behave like this… are WE really being the friend that we say that we are? Are we, really??
Dambreaker 