Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’


“My philosophy of life: Wake up. Be happy. Hurt no one. Go to bed. Wake up. Repeat.”~ Jodi Ambrose

No this is not my personal way to kiss ass, this is extra credit. Doing above and beyond what was asked for.

Jodi Ambrose found this blog last May and she and I have been keeping in touch through one another’s blog ever since.

Not that long ago she gave an offer that I couldn’t refuse. It was her Tit for Tat offer.

So what did she want? The books that she has written about sex and intimacy, as well as one helluva enjoyable cookbook, were to be sent to me in the mail in trade that a review will be written on

That soon will come. This is extra!!

Jodi Ambrose discusses what is known as The List. At a minimum of twenty separate things about the opposite sex that you should know about. Basically these books are your guidelines to earning yourself lots more sex.

That’s right. Books for both genders on tips on getting laid, and getting laid a lot!!

Sounds good, doesn’t it??

Even though the terms of the exchange were firmly written in her blog, I actually had the balls to make a counter offer to her original deal.

She knew that I have been wanting these books for a long time but just never could put the money together to purchase them. After all, her original deal was to ship the books in the mail for FREE. I couldn’t lose! But noooooo… I had to go and make the counter offer that she autograph anything that she sent.

Signed. Sealed. Delivered.

Jodi Ambrose- 3. Dambreaker-0.

Oops! Uh-oh. I’m screwed and not in the way that is explained in the books!!!!!!!

I took great delight when I received the package in the mail that I nearly squealed like a 9 year old girl with glee. And I enjoyed the written messages attached within each book. And even though she warned me NOT to read the book written for women as to not to reveal their secrets, I will admit that I did thumb it through for a bit.

So enough about that. On with the show!! jodi book

Sex: How To Get More Of It. A guy’s roadmap to paradise, in and out of the bedroom. 

This was the book that was targeted for males. Reading this book more closely than the other, I simply just have to agree with Jodi with each and every word written. Both serious and vulgar.

She’s got a way to use a dirty mouth to drive her point across into the male skull which most women think are thicker than their own. And though that may be true for some, the helpful hints and tips have no trouble getting through the cranial barrier and into the brain of even the oddest of men all the way to the intelligent, knowledge-seeking lovers.

Vernacular is key throughout the entire book. She’s gone through the painful task of forming The List for men. And as much as I agree with The List, it would behoove all male readers to NEVER stray from it, NEVER change it, just obey it! That is if you ever dream of getting laid again in your lifetime. No matter if you are married, in a relationship that is new, or single… these words to the male readers should open up the guy’s senses in what it means to understand a woman… even if its just for a fraction of an inch.

But understanding a woman’s mind isn’t what its about. Again, the point is how to get laid!! And I do not know of any man who wouldn’t want to have that kind of knowledge in their arsenal.

As I turned page after page after page I wondered why most men have issues like these. It’s like the warning levels on consumer products. If it has to be written, its because some dumbass did something well…… dumbass. So apparently there are men out there who would benefit from this book.

Intimacy: How To Get More Of It. A peek into understanding the male mind. 13490786

Again, I was warned not to read it. But I did read through most of it and there was a reason for that. I wanted to find out just how accurate it would be. In other words, I wanted to see if there was at any point that I would totally and vehemently disagree with any statement, remark, or piece of advice that Jodi had to offer.

Sweet beans of unholy mercy! There was nothing in the book that I would dare disagree with!!

Yep. That’s what happens!

Much like her book written for male readers, the book written for female readers also contain The List. It slightly differs because males and females differ. Imagine that, huh??

Jodi Ambrose definitely has her shit together where it matters. Both for males and females. And she puts it in the easiest terms possible. Vernacular also for females is probably spot on as well.

So as far as it goes with the books on intimacy and sex, I found myself eager to get to the next paragraph to see what it would say to me.

Guys can in fact get laid a lot more. And girls can receive the intimacy that they desire just the same. Just stay on the map that was written by Jodi Ambrose!

The books prove that there is a possibility of getting wonderful, mind-blowing sex for as long as you really want it!

I’m glad she stumbled across my blog. I’m glad I decided to reciprocate. And now, if you don’t mind….. I will sit back and wait to see what my punishment (or reward) will be for reading both books. I’ll be hearing from her soon in one way or another.

I cannot wait to utilize the cookbook that she put together with her husband collectively. It looks like so much fun, and yummy to say in the least!!!

Her blog can be found in the Blogroll. Find all three of her books on if you want the intimacy or the sex that you still want and just haven’t been getting.

“Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long…..”~ Jess C. Scott

In November of 2010, I added a woman from Brazil to my Facebook friends. After doing so, I checked out her profile and saw that nothing was in English. Not even in Spanish. I would find out that the language spoken in the country of Brazil, is actually Portuguese.

A language that I don’t speak. But I was told that Portuguese is “like Spanish but spoken with a French accent.” So when I began to talk with this woman, I could see how some of the words and phrases were similar to Spanish and some of it, I could understand on my own. The rest of it, I had to run to any and all translation websites available in order to keep up with her in the conversation.

How quickly the tone of the conversation would change to what one may consider a more mature and adult conversation. At first, I was not sure whether or not I should continue to talk about the subject with her. However, I did think that she and I were adults and that it was possible to discuss such matters AS adults.

Before I knew it, she would ask questions about what I prefer to do in the bedroom behind closed doors. So in thinking that this could be discussed maturely, I did answer any of her questions that she had. But still, since there was a huge language barrier, and we all know that translation websites are NOT 100% accurate… I think this either freaked her out or she didn’t understand what I was trying to say, and she became confused.

And then, POOF!! Gone.

It left me with a bunch of cognitive distortions of what I might have said wrong, or if the translation into Portuguese was way off.

But then a few days later, (or I should say nights) the conversation came up again. This time more intimate. So then I thought that why should I answer these questions and just let her go on with knowing these things about me. I turned the questions around on her and had her answer some of her own seedy inquiries.

POOF!! Gone.

Whiskey.Tango. Foxtrot, over.

Then there would be nothing from her for weeks, months. And so then she would appear again. And of course I continue where we had sort of left off.

Good grief, I get the almighty cockblock from her. Even after several different conversations with her. It was like she wanted to know about my intimate life and asking specific questions and then just as day breaks, she gives off the “I don’t want to talk about that. I cannot talk about that.”

That is pretty stupid to set the tone and then flip it over on someone without notice. I really hate it when people do that to me. I am who I am and I talk the way that I talk, because that IS me. If you start off with a more adult attitude and then want to flee? Then perhaps you should just go away. If you don’t want to talk about mature subject matter, then speak up at the beginning.

I didn’t speak to her for months and months after that. I honestly was not thrilled from her behavior. Any communication just dropped because #1- the translations from English into Portuguese were obviously wrong and causing problems and #2- I got tired of her talking about intimacy and sex in one minute and then the next having to be told “I can’t.”

Never through any of our conversations did she ask about what I like, what my interests are, what I do, and so forth. It was always something intimate and personal.

During that several month hiatus, I finally… finally… finally caught on to something.

'She would ask questions of intimacy and sex. But when I asked her the same- she would disappear.'

Our conversations in Facebook would always take place at night. With her being 2 hours ahead of me in a different time zone, it would be REAL late at night for her. So she’s up in the middle of the night, talking sex. Any other conversation that might have taken place during the day, was short and brief and always would have to put up with “POOF!!! Gone.” a lot sooner.

So the communication has been next to nothing. Up until I posted that “pass/fail” photo of me on Facebook. In which she did click “like”. I knew that she would not understand the phrase of “pass/fail”, so I asked her what she thought about the photo.

I would just receive another exchange of “you’re so handsome and attractive”.

I don’t hear that a lot from women, at all. I simply don’t. So when I DO hear it, I pay attention. But I think that I’ve paid too much with this woman.

And then after that, I posted a photo of a t-shirt that is supposed to be funny.

A friend of mine showed me that this shirt was on eBay, and I shared it on Facebook, thinking that it would get a few laughs out of people. It caused a bit of a stir that would infuriate me, but that story I will save for the next blog post.

Needless to say that this woman from Brazil “liked” that as well. I wondered if she understood the joke. So I asked her.

She said that she did understand it. And I told her to explain it to me so that I knew for sure that she did understand. And quite honestly, she actually DID understand the image on the t-shirt. I explained that it was meant to be funny.

Her response was “It is not funny or a joke. It’s romantic. It is two lovers making love with one another.” And then again, I heard about how charming and attractive I was.

As a joke, I asked her if she wanted to reproduce the image with me in real life. And here we go… my humor gets lost in translation. And she thought that I was being absolutely serious.

And then guess what? Yep. POOF!!! Gone.

I waited a bit to see if she would respond again. When a person begins to slow down their conversation, it could always be something that has taken them away from the conversation by distraction. But after twenty minutes of waiting, I looked at the clock and the only thing I could assume was that she just went to bed.

But when the spotlight is on her and what she is thinking or desiring, she runs like hell!!

So I’ve come up with my own theory:

  • She is very unhappy in her marriage. Her being married was something I knew from the beginning. Which causes a lot of the surprise when she is asking intimate questions and seeking intimate details.
  • She has 3,600 friends on Facebook. Literally! What is she seeking from them all?
  • 90% of all conversations with her, happen very late at night. It is quite possible she is waiting for her husband to go sleep before she says anything.
  • The possibility that she is rather interested in me, regardless.

Not like any of that is going to matter. I live in the United States and she lives in Brazil. I don’t see any circumstances that would ever cause us to cross paths. It is possible- but rather improbable. And I am not going to do any intercontinental traveling just to get laid.

I spun last night’s conversation towards the end. I asked her what she would do if she actually saw me in Brazil. She said that she would hug & kiss me. Now I know that there are some countries in which it is customary to kiss. So with her past history of being the way she is, I asked “on the face or on the lips?”. And that most likely got lost in the translation that I had. I was going to actually ask her if the greeting of a kiss was customary in Brazil. But she fled. And I haven’t spoken to her since.

One thing is for sure, if she dares to say “hello”, I’m gonna ask her again and again and again until she answers me. And then I am going to find out if my theory is correct and if she is actually just unhappy in her marriage. If so, this would explain a lot for me. Not like it would change anything though. But I’m going to find out!! If this causes her to run away, permanently.. then so be it. I really don’t need to be socializing with ANY person like that.