Diamonds Are Not A Girl’s Best Friend

It appears as if the days of the stereotype sung by Carol Channing in the Broadway production of “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”, might be over with.

With the advent of several birthdays, anniversaries, and the soon approaching Christmas holiday, I find myself in a rather odd position. The stereotype in what women want as gifts doesn’t seem to be the case anymore at all. The things in which we (as men) grew up to learn about what women wanted has been thrown out the window entirely.

It used to be a safe bet for a man to buy a woman either chocolate, flowers, or jewelry, or all of them. But I am finding out that within the group of female colleagues and friends that its not really what they want any more.

Sure, I don’t see a woman turning down these things. I don’t see how a woman would want to turn away from FREE chocolate. But it really isn’t what they WANT from anyone. It appears that the female population (at least within my circles) want things that are less tangible and more meaningful. They seem to want to hang on to the bond of friendship more often than not. That they want that to grow and develop, rather than a bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates.

I will say that some of my female friends are already married. So perhaps if it is chocolate and flowers and jewelry that they want, they could probably seek it from their husbands. But, not all of my female friends are married or in a relationship. And they still would rather pass on the objects and maintain the emotional bonds.

I have a friend’s birthday that is coming up and I have absolutely no clue at all what she would like or would want. Perhaps the first step would be to ask. Yet with previous conversations I have had, she’s not exactly the “material girl” either.

That is not to say that ALL women have abandoned the stereotype and aim for less tangible things in which they desire. There are still those who want these things. I am just saying that through my social life, those women that I speak to regularly are NOT those kinds of women.

I personally have no problem giving my female friends chocolates or roses. I am not opposed to ordering a small and simple vase of flowers for their special day. Whether they are married or not. My intentions are always true… “This is for your special day. Be happy!”.

I recall one time that I sent a half dozen roses that were white, to a female friend of mine who was married. It was for her wedding anniversary. She was thrilled. But when she got home, the gift in which her own husband had purchased for her, she found less endearing than the white roses. Oops!!

They do laugh about it now.

Clearly, it was not the objective to outshine her own spouse. That’s just what happened. I’m also not opposed to “downgrading” a gift, just in case that may happen again.

One thing that I always run into over and over and over again is “Don’t spend your money!”. Well, I am creative. I can create greeting cards, write poetry, give simple gifts in lieu of roses, chocolate, and jewelry and it would be tons cheaper if not at any cost at all. But what exactly is it that women want any more??

Perhaps it all depends on who the woman is. And that would make sense to me. If I was friends with a woman, and I knew she loved Chinese food. I’d probably buy her a gift certificate for the nearest Chinese restaurant. I think that it’s really, all a matter of paying attention.

If she’s been raving about a particular film that is about to come out, then I’d get her free movie passes.

Each woman is individually unique. That goes for anyone in this world. And I love all of my friends, male or female, in my own unique way.

It is just- what in the world do women want??

 

Jewelry Confliction

So here’s a story that I never thought that I would ever tell, much less experience.

It is no surprise that everyone gets to the point at the end of the month (or two week pay period) where they just find themselves low on cash. I most certainly have. Getting to the first of July has been something of a head scratcher in my book.

So I went to the nearest pawn shop in my neighborhood this afternoon and took a men’s gold ring with a garnet stone to fetch a few dollars. Knowing full well that I would be back for it in a few days after I had reached the month of July.

The thing of it is that I had never had any luck with this particular piece of jewelry as far as pawn shops were concerned. I’ve been all about town in the past few years and nobody would take it. Some of them wouldn’t even look at it. Many times I’ve been told that it was a fake and the stone was fake too. But had the looked at it, actually taken the time to do so, they would have seen the stamp on the inside of the ring that marks that it is 14K gold.

But today was a different story. I was met up by one of the many pawn brokers and I just walked in and created a swath behind me as I looked at their jewelry display cases to see just what they were SELLING as far as jewelry was concerned. Mainly men’s rings.

Once the broker was able to catch up to me, I handed over the ring and my ID and asked what I could get for it. They always ask you the same question, “How much do you want for it?”. I learned the hard way that you NEVER, NEVER, NEVER answer that question directly.

If you are looking to pawn or sell something at a pawn shop and you want $50 for it, you never tell them that! You will get what you asked for, even if it means that the pawn broker was willing to give you more. But now, you’ll never know because it was you who set the price.

So I didn’t answer this time. I handed it over and let them do their thing. I was in fact a bit nervous that they were going to come right back and give me the same old story about how it was fake or whatever. But they didn’t come back right away. This broker was seriously looking into it.

When the broker came back, I heard “Two twenty-five.”

I did everything I could to keep my wits on the price that I was quoted. And because of the fact that this ring in particular has had a history of nobody wanting to touch it, I had assumed that the broker was telling me $2.25!! I seriously wanted to vomit. But then this was the first time that I had ever had a pawn broker consider a loan on it.

I snarled a bit. But then the broker said, “No sir. Two hundred and twenty-five dollars is all that I can give to you on a loan.”

I could not believe my own ears. NOT $2.25, but $225!! (Clearly, decimal placement is really important.)

I know that a lot of people would have taken it right away. Especially during these times. But the loan was up to that much. I do not know how much that they would have offered to me, had I told them that I wanted to sell it.

So then I did not take the full amount of the loan. I only took $60. It was what I felt I could easily handle while paying back the loan and getting it back before the due date and then losing it forever. All the while them making a nasty profit from it.

I kept getting asked time after time if I was sure that I did not want more. I could have taken the entire amount. And they did say that if I wanted more, that all I needed to do was pay the interest on the loan and they would re-finance it so that I could take more.

But now I have enough money to make it until July. So I’m good. And the loan is not out of my reach to pay back.

But when I got home, I started to think about it. I do not have a lot in the way of jewelry. I have a watch, I wear my U.S. Army dog tags around my neck. And I have two gold rings with garnets in them. Well, one for now.

I used to have three, but the third one was stolen. The second ring that I have, I am thinking that I could probably get a little bit more than $225 for it at that pawn shop.

It is very conflicting as I have both good and bad experiences with this ring. Well, mainly just bad memories. I’ve had wonderful experiences with the ring because a lot of people have given me compliments on it over and over again when I wear it. So I’ve been wearing it all of the time now, even though it is plagued with bad memories.

I bought the ring when I was still with my ex-girlfriend. It was really expensive and it looks great. Similar to the one in the photo included in this blog post. But at the time, I was saving some money to buy tickets to go see a concert back in 2008 in Boston. I was more than willing to pay the $375 for a pair of tickets to be on the floor right up next to the stage! But she was not a fan. A complete & total “hater” of that kind of music … if you will.

So when I had found this ring, she pushed and she pushed and she pushed for me to buy it. She knew that I did not have a lot of jewelry to call my own. She also knew that it would be something that I would wear a lot. And… she knew that if I bought it, that I would not be able to purchase the concert tickets that I had been wanting to buy. 

So I bought it. It looked great. Still does. But because of her hatred towards something that she knew that I would enjoy, her influence was heavily put upon me to buy it every time we went into that store.

Needless to say that later on I would purchase tickets for that concert out of some money that was owed to me from a settlement. But we were so far back, that the view wasn’t all that grand. I actually saved myself about $100 on the total, however everytime I think about it, it just bugs me. That’s all. Just bugs me.

So now that I have gone on and on about this and probably lost half of the readers by now, I am conflicted with whether or not to go ahead and try to sell this ring for a much higher price or keep it because my jewerly collection is small and I don’t have much.

Clearly with the money, I could put it aside and be able to have a nice start at some kind of savings so that I can do some traveling to see some people that I have been wanting to meet for a very long time. Or maybe get something that I would enjoy for me in my home. The possibilities would be endless.

For sure, I would be able to get back the ring that I’ve had for nearly ten years that I bought for myself and be free of one less thing that would remind me of a situation that was less than happy.

What would you do?!?